Second Chances
by MnLombardo
Summary: Alex Karev has done everything he can to forget his past and create a new life. When he receives custody of his little sister, Amber, he is given a second chance at the family he chose to leave behind. The challenges of keeping a family together aren't easily overcome, but this time around, Alex isn't alone...and he is determined to right the wrongs of the past.
1. So it Begins

**A little bit of information, PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU BEGIN: **

**This story begins in Season 6. It is after Izzie leaves, but before the shooting. However, I do include the shooting much later on in the story. **

**I am aware that Alex's little sister is actually supposed to be 16 or 17, but I made her younger for the story. **

**The first chapter briefly mentions that Alex's mother and his brother, Aaron, struggled with drug addiction. I know that they are both schizophrenic, the drug addiction is something that they developed to cope with their illness. That did not happen on the show, but I decided to include it.**

**Jackson Avery already lives in Meredith's house in my story. I really like his character and I wanted to include him from the beginning. So for the sake of wanting to include his character, he lives with them before the shooting. **

**While I try to remain true to the story line of the show, I do change things from time to time. So if you notice any other differences, feel free to ask me about it, but things will not always occur exactly as they did on the show. **

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Grey's Anatomy.**

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><p><strong><strong>**XXXXXXX**

"Are you in or out Karev?" Bailey repeated impatiently. "Karev!" She shouted, anxiously trying to obtain the young surgeon's attention. Alex was quickly jolted out of his thoughts.

"In or out for what?" He asked, slightly embarrassed at his own absent-mindedness.

Bailey sighed, growing increasingly annoyed with the young resident's lack of focus. "Are you scrubbing in?" She repeated slowly, annunciating each syllable as if talking to a child. "Although, I'm a little afraid to ask at this point…"

Alex bit his lip, trying to resolve the internal struggle plaguing his mind. He really should head back to the house. Mrs. Clark would be there within the next few hours to drop off Amber. He couldn't help but assume that being present to receive custody of his sister should take precedent over his work. But still….passing up any surgery, no matter how common a surgery, was a deadly sin at Seattle Grace Mercy West – especially with Miranda Bailey.

"I'm in." He decreed, snapping back to reality. _And I'm a horrible brother._ He thought glumly.

"Great, let's move it." Bailey replied, turning towards the pediatric wing. "We've got an 11-year-old male, admitted with severe abdominal pains. He will be undergoing an appendectomy today…. unless there is something else you would rather be doing." She added at the end, wanting to make sure he knew that she had noticed his spacey behavior.

Alex resisted the urge to roll his eyes. _Of course I can do an appendectomy, it's only the easiest surgery known to man._ He knew he was being stupid, risking not being home when the social worker arrived…but he couldn't deny that he was interested in declaring a specialty in pediatric surgery. If he wanted Bailey to put in a good word with Dr. Robbins, he assumed he shouldn't pass this up."No Dr. Bailey, I am thrilled to have the opportunity to scrub in." He assured as he followed behind her.

Bailey wasn't one to make conversation when there was business afoot. Alex couldn't help but notice that despite her short legs, she sure could book it down a hallway in record time. He struggled to keep up with her quick pace. People tended to part and make way for her, even her superiors. Alex was shown no such gesture and therefore had to shove his way past several nurses to avoid losing her in the process.

When they finally arrived in the surgical preparation room, a large smile formed on Bailey's face. She was one of those surgeons who truly loved her patients. It was her residents and interns that she tended to be cold and strict towards. "Hey there Joshy." She greeted cheerfully.

The little boy offered a nervous wave with one hand and clutched onto his mother tightly with the other. She smoothed his hair out comfortingly. Alex couldn't help the butterflies that formed in his stomach at the sight of such parental action. Was he meant to do things like that starting today? Would he have to comfort Amber when she was scared? Would she even let him? Would he have to help her with her homework? Cook for her? He had no idea how to be a guardian…he just couldn't stand by and let her go into foster care.

"Alright Mrs. Matthews, we're getting ready to take him down. We're going to have to ask that you head to the waiting room. Someone will be out with an update as soon as we're finished. It won't take long." Bailey informed the patient's mother.

Mrs. Matthews nodded and Alex turned away so he wouldn't have to see the final exchange between mother and son. It was too large of a reminder that he was already flaking out on Amber…and he hadn't even gotten her yet.

After his mother was gone, Alex picked up the boy's chart and scanned over it quickly. He wanted to make sure he had all of the basics covered because Bailey would be asking him questions during the surgery. She, and of course Dr. Robbins, had been really drilling into him lately about his bedside manner.

"Am I going to have a scar?" The young patient piped up worriedly, staring up at Alex with wide brown eyes. Alex stopped prepping for a moment and came down to the child's level.

"Yeah dude, you will." He replied honestly. The boy lowered his head, allowing his sandy blonde hair to fall over his eyes. Alex glanced at the chart quickly, searching for the boy's name. "But…. I'll tell you something Josh." Alex began quietly, glancing around as if he were about to reveal a huge secret. "Chicks dig scars." The boy's eyes seemed to brighten slightly, and Alex sighed with relief as he began to wheel the bed out the door.

"Are you ready man?" He inquired.

"I guess." Josh replied as he offered a small shrug.

_See, I'm not so bad with kids. _He decided, scoffing at the comment Dr. Robins had made earlier, referring to him as "far too angry at the world to be around her tiny patients." The real test, he supposed, would come later that day. Then again, he didn't know if he should consider Amber as a child anymore. After all, she was….sixteen? Fifteen? Seventeen? _Damn it…I should probably figure that out. _

Having come to the conclusion that he literally knew nothing about his little sister, not even her age, he solemnly accepted he was most likely the worst brother who ever lived, not to mention an unfit guardian. However, that didn't stop social services from deciding he was best suited to care for a teenage girl. Not just any girl, but a traumatized teenage girl who recently watched as her mother overdosed while being sexually assaulted by said mother's flavor of the week. It made him sick to his stomach to think about what she had been through, his baby sister, the little brunette girl with braids who used to look to him as if he made the sun shine.

Alex entered the O.R., his thoughts still preoccupied. He quickly scrubbed his hands thoroughly, pulled on his mask, and pushed open the door using his shoulder.

"What do you say we take care of that appendix?" Bailey suggested, sounding slightly muffled through her mask. Alex walked around to the side of the operating table as the anesthesiologist entered the room. Josh looked up at him, his eyes full with panic. Alex gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Josh," he spoke softly, "this man is to give you something to make you go to sleep and when you wake up you are going to have a super cool scar and an excuse for your parents to give you ice cream whenever you want." Josh seemed to relax slightly at Alex's words. They waited patiently to get the green light.

"Alright, let's get started." Bailey initiated the start of the surgery, passing a scalpel to Alex.

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><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

The surgery was quick, as appendectomies usually are. Without complications, they are almost always around 45 minutes long. This one had been slightly longer because Bailey had Alex basically do everything on his own, only offering small snippets of advice periodically. As soon as the surgery was over, worry set in. Was it considered a termination of his custodial rights if he wasn't present when the social workers brought over the final paperwork? Most likely. Then again, perhaps she wouldn't mind waiting another 20 minutes for him to get back to the house. Jackson and Lexie were there. Alex was confident in their ability to keep her from putting his sister on the next plane back to Iowa.

Alex didn't have to wonder for long. As soon as he walked through the double doors that led to the main floor of the hospital, he was face to face with a small, black haired woman in a pencil skirt and matching jacket. She looked exactly how he would have pictured a social worker. Her demeanor was serious, but her appearance gentle. Her posture was board-straight, giving new meaning to looking like she had a pole up her ass.

"Dr. Alex Karev?" She asked, glancing down at the clip board clutched in her tiny hands.

"Yes." Alex verified, suddenly noticing the teenager lingering behind her. Seeing how grown up his little sister was almost brought him to tears, smacking him with the reality of how much of her life he had missed. She was small, somewhere around 5"3. She was also very thin, but clearly athletic, sporting a purple "Varsity Soccer" t-shirt. Her wavy, brunette hair hung down to her shoulders, framing the face of a beautiful young woman.

"I'm Gertrude Clark. I arrived at your house about an hour ago, but one of your roommates told me that you got held up in surgery. I assumed that delivering the final paperwork here would be easier for you than rescheduling." She said to him, her tone stiff and professional.

Alex made a mental note to thank Jackson Avery for covering for him. "Yes that's fine. Would you like to go sit down where we can go over it?" He asked. The woman nodded and followed him as he led her to the resident's longue. Amber dragged her feet slowly behind them. As they walked through the door she passed him, and uttered very quietly, so quietly he wondered if he had imagined it, "I see surgery still comes before family."

They in the back of the longue where two fold out tables had been pushed together. Amber sat in the farthest chair possible and crossed her arms, staring down at her lap. Alex had caught a glimpse of her bright, green eyes before she looked down. 'Cat eyes,' he used to call them. They were unusually green, enlarging to what appeared as twice their size whenever she wore earth tones. They were irresistibly charming, and she knew it. As a young girl, all she had to do was bat her eyelashes at their brother, Aaron, and he would let her get away with anything.

Mrs. Clark slipped on a pair of reading glasses and detached a thick packet from her clip board. She got directly down to business.

"Social services has come to the final decision, seeing as the mother of the child has been deemed unfit to provide proper care, the minor, Amber Karev, will be placed in the custody of her older brother, Alex Karev." Alex nodded slowly. "Sign here." Mrs. Clark dictated, handing him a pen. Alex scribbled his signature down and waited for her to continue.

"It is my understanding that you are no longer married to Isabel Stevens? Is that correct?" She asked, flipping through her folder of information, stuffed to the seam with every possible fact about his life imaginable. With this, Amber looked up with an expression of pure shock. Amber, Aaron, and his mother knew nothing about the marriage, the cancer, or the divorce.

"I am recently divorced." Alex mumbled in return.

"I see." She made a note at the bottom of her clipboard before continuing. "I also know that you work an impressive number of hours per week, which is a legitimate concern when awarding custody of a child. However, you wrote here that you share a house with four other doctors, all who are aware of and have offered their assistance and support with your situation. I have statements here from Dr. Derek Sheppard, Dr. Meredith Grey, Dr. Alexandria Grey, and Dr. Jackson Avery. Is this still your current living situation?"

Alex nodded in agreement, not wanting to mention that he was currently looking into renting an apartment near the hospital. Meredith and Derek had assured him repeatedly that they did not mind his sister moving in. Lexie had even moved back into the attic room so that Amber could be closer to him, but he hated depending on them so much.

"If you will put your signature and the date at the bottom of the page, I officially grant you temporary custody of the minor, Amber Karev. Remember that this is subject to change depending on your ability to provide sufficient care. You can expect frequent visits from me as well as other members of social services; we will be present in court when your case is revisited six months from now to determine permanent custody."

Gripping the pen sharply to steady his shaking hands, Alex signed his name and date at the bottom of the page. He exhaled deeply as he set the pen down and slid the stack of papers back to Mrs. Clark.

"Congratulations, and I wish you both the best of luck." She gave Amber's shoulder a squeeze and offered a gentle smile before collecting her briefcase and letting herself out of the room. Alex sat at the opposite end of the table, staring at his sister, willing her to say something. She remained silent, her gaze fixed and unmoving with irritation. After what seemed like forever, she finally offered an opinion.

"I wanted to live with Aaron." She announced flatly.

Alex sighed. His brother had encountered an impressive number of medical issues in the past year or so. Although he had never exhibited any official symptoms, his behavior was beginning to suggest schizophrenia. Alex had seen it all before with their mother, and Aaron's doctor had expressed his concerns to him on more than one occasion. Without warning or explanation, Aaron had moved out of their mother's house a year earlier. That alone was a huge red flag. He had always vowed to stay put, to watch over Amber after Alex left. Their mother couldn't be trusted with her, but for some reason, that stopped concerning him. It didn't take long before he began to turn to drugs to banish reality. _Runs in the family. _ Alex thought bitterly as he was reminded of his father's dependence on alcohol as well as his mother's own recent bout with drug addiction.

"Aaron left you, kid." He reminded her. "He walked out on you and left you alone with mom and her creepy boyfriends. Why would you want to live with him?"

"You left me too." She fired back instantly. "For a lot longer than he did…"

"Amber." Alex said, clasping his hands together. He hesitated for a moment. "Aaron's not well….you know that."

"I would still prefer him." She replied coldly. "He would at least try to take care of me. He's sorry that he left."

"You know I'll take care of you."

"Do I?" She inquired. "You sure didn't have a problem leaving us once."

"I didn't have a choice! Who do you think pays the larger half of Aaron's medical bills? Who do you think sends money that keeps the house from being foreclosed when mom blows her paycheck on drugs? Who do you think sends Aaron money to make sure _you_ get fed and clothed?"

Amber simply shrugged and returned her attention to her lap, nervously examining her painted fingernails. Alex knew better than to continue this argument, he had been having the exact same one with Aaron for years.

"What do you say we get out of here?" He asked, glancing at his watch. 6:12. She was probably hungry, although he doubted she would admit it. She responded with another emotionless shrug.

The drive home was silent and uncomfortable. He attempted to make small talk, but failed miserably each time. Amber was much more interested in loose threads on the bottom of her shirt or the uniform houses flying past the car windows. They pulled into the driveway and Alex surveyed the various parked cars to determine who was home and who remained at the hospital. Jackson was home, it was his day off. He thought the second car belonged to Lexie, but he wasn't positive.

Amber followed him into the house through the back door, leading to the kitchen. Jackson was sitting at the bar, drinking hot tea and reading the sports section of the newspaper.

"Hey Alex, did you get everything taken care of?" He asked, folding his newspaper and setting it in front of him. His eyes shifted towards Amber, curious how she was taking everything in. He had been the one to let her and the social worker in the first time, but they hadn't really spoken much. He had thrown out a few conversation starters while Mrs. Clark attempted to reach Alex, but Amber was a pretty shy kid from what he could gather.

She looked around calmly and shifted her attention to the floor. "Hello again." He offered.

"Hi." She answered politely before making timid eye contact.

"Yeah, everything's all set. " Alex nodded and looked around himself. "Who else is here?" He asked.

"Lexie I think. She might be napping, she's on call tonight." He responded. "Oh by the way, the social worker left the kid's bags in the foyer."

"Thanks Jackson."

"Not a problem."

Alex started to walk into the den before noticing that Amber hadn't moved an inch. "Amber, come on." He directed. She reluctantly stalked behind him into the den and through the doorway leading to the foyer. Two small suitcases sat at the foot of the stairs. "Is this is?" He implored, pulling out the handles and dragging them down the hallway.

"I don't have much." She mumbled, following behind him at a distance.

"This is your room." He said, pushing open the door. "Mine is right next door in case you need anything."

"I won't." She assured him coldly. Alex chose to ignore the comment and rolled the suitcases in front of the bed, which was now covered with a blue, polka dotted duvet.

"Mrs. Clarke said your favorite color was blue so…." He began, but let his voice trail off.

"Thanks." She cut him off half-heartedly. "I guess I'll unpack."

Alex lingered in the doorway, wondering if there was anything else he could possibly say to lighten the situation. "You can go." She dismissed him without looking up as she unzipped her bag.

Alex sighed and retreated back towards the kitchen.

"She's adorable." Jackson commented as he came back into sight. "Looks absolutely nothing like you."

Alex chuckled, receiving a smirk from his co-worker. "I have no idea what to do with her, she hates my guts." He ground out after a minute.

"Give it some time." Jackson advised as he shuffled through a stack of papers in the top drawer of the center island. "Chinese?" He asked, holding up a menu.

By the time the food had arrived, Derek and Meredith had returned from the hospital, both having just finished a forty-eight hour shift. The bags under their eyes were starting to develop their own set of bags, but they were chipper nonetheless. Alex decided it was probably a good thing. Amber might as well get a feel for what life in this house was really like, sleep deprivation and all.

Alex walked down the hall to the spare room that now housed his sister. Amber had adamantly stated she wasn't hungry, but he ordered her a pint of chicken and broccoli anyways. He was entirely new to this whole 'parenting' business, but he assumed making her eat dinner was somewhere in his job description.

"Dinner's here. Come to the table." He told her, arms folded, leaning against her doorway.

"I said I'm not hungry." She shot back, not bothering to glance up from her Cosmo magazine.

"And I said you can come to the table anyways." He retorted quickly, taking care to make his voice sound somewhat stern. Amber waited momentarily, curious if he would give up and leave her alone. When he showed no signs of movement, she eventually closed her magazine without a word and walked into the kitchen.

"Meredith, you aren't giving me enough credit. The tumor was _this_ big." Derek was recounting his most recent surgical victory with a huge smile as they walked in the room. He held out his hands, creating a gap about the size of a softball. Meredith laughed and rolled her eyes.

"That thing has been growing by the hour." She teased.

As if sensing the presence of a newcomer, they both glanced up and noticed the young girl standing shyly behind Alex.

"Hi there, I'm Derek." Derek said, offering one of his perfect smiles. "This is my wife Meredith."

"Welcome to the jungle." She commented, earning a laugh from everyone in the room including Alex. Derek stood up and pulled a chair out for Amber. She offered her best fake smile and sat down as her brother handed her the chicken he had ordered.

"How old are you, sweetheart?" Meredith implored after a brief period of silence.

"Fifteen." Amber replied, twirling her fork around inside of the plastic container without taking a single bite.

_How could I not have known that?_ Alex chastised himself, extremely thankful that Meredith had asked the question so he wouldn't have to.

"You play soccer?" Jackson entreated, pointing to her shirt with one of his chopsticks. Amber nodded, keeping her eyes on the table.

"Since when?" Alex asked. Before he had moved out, she was dedicated to the swim team. He didn't think she even owned a soccer ball, let alone knew how to kick one.

"Six years ago." She replied sharply. The room became silent. _Had it really been that long since he had talked to his little sister? _

The remainder of dinner consisted of hospital gossip, tales of difficult surgeries, and comparing schedules for the following week. Amber sat in silence the entire time, silently begging for the night to be over. Finally, Derek and Meredith cleaned their dishes and made their way upstairs while Jackson excused himself into the den to watch television, leaving Amber and Alex alone once again. She started to get up slowly, praying Alex wouldn't attempt another conversation.

"I don't recall excusing you." Alex said looking up at her.

"Really?" She lamented, giving him a 'You have got to be kidding me' look.

"Yes, really."

"Can I be excused?" She asked, not even attempting to hide the strong attitude in her voice.

"No, you barely ate."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm not asking you to stuff yourself, but Mrs. Clark said you hadn't eaten all day. Seriously, take five bites and I'll let you go." He tried to compromise, standing up and gathering trash on the table to throw away. Amber stared at him for a moment, trying to detect exactly how serious he was. After a moment she came to the realization that if she wanted to get away from him, she should suck it up and give him what he wanted. She took five microscopic bites, folded the Chinese food container shut, and slammed it onto the counter.

"Happy now?" She spat.

"Yep." He replied, continuing to clean up the kitchen.

Amber left the room, making sure to roll her eyes while doing so. She walked into her bedroom and slammed the door shut.

"That went well." Jackson commented, glancing up as Alex walked into the den, plopping himself in an armchair next to the couch.

"That girl is going to be the death of me." Alex declared, feeling completely defeated after only a few hours.

"That's a little dramatic. I doubt it will kill you." He countered. "I'd say, worst case scenario, all of your hair falls out."

"Thanks man, that really helps." Alex replied sarcastically

They watched television for a while, talking small breaks in attention to chat aimlessly about anything that didn't involve the hospital or the young girl residing angrily down the hall. Alex excused himself to go to bed a little after 11:00. He had to be at the hospital by 8:00 the next morning and he was both physically and mentally exhausted from the events of the day.

He walked into his room and swiftly changed into a pair of sweat pants before heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth. On his way back to his room he stopped for a minute outside of his sister's door. He hesitated slightly before opening it and peeking in. She was sound asleep with the bedside light on, the covers in a knot to the side of her. He walked in very slowly, afraid that the smallest sound might wake her. She had been a heavy sleeper when she was a little girl, but years of living in a house where you feel unsafe can change that. He gently pulled the covers up to her shoulders and turned the light off. He stopped in the doorway and took one final look at her before closing the door.

_What the hell am I doing? _He thought frantically as he collapsed into the welcoming sheets of his own bed, bracing himself for what tomorrow might bring.

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><p><strong>You likeeeee? There is so much in store if you keep reading. Drama, tears, laughs, fluff, angst, you name it. You rock for reading this. Hope you continue! <strong>

**XX Maddie**


	2. A Different Kind of Normal

**Hey everyone! Sorry it took me so long to update. It's college midterm week which means essays and tests galore! Oh happy day! Anyhow, here's chapter 2, hope it is satisfactory!**

**So it was kindly pointed out to me in a review (thank you again!) that I left out a little bit of background information**

***Alex's mother and brother struggle with drug addiction instead of schizophrenia. I changed this, just because addiction seemed easier when I began writing.**

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><p>The alarm started buzzing at 6:30, jolting Alex directly out of a very deep sleep. He groaned and glanced at the clock, willing for time to stop. He was by no means ready to face what the day might hold. Amber had spent all of Saturday locked in her room, refusing to make contact with the outside world. He had hoped he could spend his day off getting to know her, but she clearly had no intentions of being pleasant. He dragged his feet down the hallway to the bathroom and turned on the water, still half asleep. He stepped into the shower, hoping the steam and hot water would wake him up. He stood under the showerhead, absentmindedly allowing the water to poor over his back. It felt somewhat therapeutic.<p>

His mind began to wander. Everyone was working today and he would catch it from social services if he left Amber home alone. Lexie would get off sometime around 3:00, but that was still too long of a time period, and he wasn't willing to risk it. He stepped out of the shower and toweled off his hair. After pulling on a pair of jeans and a plain, white t-shirt, he hesitantly made his way to his sister's room. _This is not going to be pleasant. _He thought as he opened the door.

"Amber it's time to wake up." He said, gently shaking her shoulder. She moaned and rolled away from him. She opened one eye and glanced at the clock, suddenly sitting up with an alarmed expression.

"It's Sunday!" She exclaimed. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She shouted before allowing herself to fall back down, pulling a pillow over her face.

"Amber." He groaned. "You have to come to the hospital with me, I can't leave you here."

"Yes you can, I'm fifteen." She mumbled through the pillow.

"I know that, and in six months, you can stay here alone as much as you want. However, there is no way social services is going to be understanding of me leaving you here all day during a trial period, especially on the first day I have you."

She didn't respond.

"I need you ready in twenty minutes." He said. "I mean it." With that he turned to walk out the door, hoping she had gotten the point.

"Asshole." She said under her breath.

"Watch it Amber." He warned.

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><p>Alex looked at the clock anxiously. He didn't know whose service he would be on today, but there wasn't a single attending at Seattle Grace who tolerated residents showing up late.<p>

"Amber!" He shouted, becoming more irritated by the second. "I don't have time for this! You're going to make me late."

"Then leave without me!" She called from down the hall.

"Amber, I am getting so low on patience." He said, no longer attempting to keep his voice calm. What was he thinking? There is no possible way to balance a job as a surgeon and a teenage girl. He watched as his little sister grudgingly made her way into the kitchen, looking surprisingly well put together for only having had twenty minutes.

"I'll get you some breakfast at the hospital." He said, putting his hand on her back and leading her out the door.

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><p>Alex yanked her into the residentattending longue, knowing if he didn't sprint afterwards, he would be late. He pulled on my scrubs like he was in some sort of marathon then stuffed his right hand into the pair of jeans on the floor and pulled out some cash.

"There's a television and coffee over there. Get yourself something to eat." He said thrusting the money into her hands before running out the door.

Alex sprinted down the hallway to the nurses' station where a few of his coworkers stood in a circle.

"Karev, so nice of you to join us." Mark Sloane said.

"Sorry." Alex replied quietly, looping his stethoscope around his neck.

"You're on my service today. Let's get moving sunshine." Mark said, quickly turning on his heels and walking off.

Mark, a renowned plastic surgeon was not Alex's favorite surgeon at Seattle Grace. He was slightly abrasive and tended to treat his residents and interns like his personal staff. The two walked into an elevator and headed to the wing that housed burn victims.

"So how's the kid?" Mark asked.

"I'm guessing Sheppard told you?" Alex asked sighing.

"You guess correctly."

"She's fine. She wants nothing to do with me, but I'm hoping things will get better."

"I didn't even know you had a family." Mark said, glancing at him.

"It's not something I advertise." Alex stated as the elevator doors opened.

"This is Grace Stonemen, age 28. She suffered severe third degree burns to the face during a fire at Lincoln Elementary." Mark briefed Alex as they entered the room.

"My students!" The woman exclaimed upon seeing Mark. "Did they make it out?" Her face was bandage heavily, and from the way she winced when speaking, Alex could tell she was in a great deal of pain.

"She suffered her injuries after running back into the school when she realized one of her students was still in the bathroom." Mark mumbled to Alex before speaking up. "You're students are fine Mrs. Stonemen. The little girl you saved from the bathroom suffered some minor burns, but right now we are more concerned about you." The woman seemed to calm down upon hearing this.

After Alex had finished changing Mrs. Stonemen's bandages, under the watchful eye of Mark, the two excused themselves so she could rest.

"Now, I have a facial reconstruction surgery scheduled for her tomorrow. Unless you manage to piss me off later today, I'm officially inviting you to scrub in."

Mark said this in a tone that left little room for negotiation. Alex knew he had no choice unless he wanted to spend the next month doing scut work while on Mark's service.

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><p>Jackson Avery wiped the sweat off his forehead. He sat frustrated in the pit attempting to get the small child in front of him to stop wiggling around.<p>

"It hurts." She protested, on the verge of tears.

"I know, but if you let me give you the shot, it won't hurt anymore. Then I can give you stitches." Jackson offered her a reassuring smile, but it didn't seem to calm her down in the slightest. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Amber wander in.

"Amber!" He called to her. She caught sight of him and walked over. "What are you doing in the pit?" He asked.

"I was looking for the cafeteria." She admitted, offering a nervous laugh. He chuckled softly before offering directions. "You're on the right floor, wrong side. If you walk through those doors and past the nurses' station, there's a hallway through another set of doors. Follow that all the way down and it will be on the left."

"Thanks." She said. She was about to walk away, but hesitated as she saw Jackson struggling with the young girl.

"Where are her parents?" Amber asked.

"Single mother. She commutes to work and couldn't make it right when the fire occurred. Come on Lacey, it won't be that bad." He assured her, holding up the needle again. This time she began to struggle even more, trying to get off the gurney she was on.

"You know," Amber said kneeling closer to the Lacey, "if you make a funny face, it doesn't hurt so much." Lacey looked up at her, a tear resting on the side of her cheek. "Like this." Amber said as she scrunched up her face and bared her teeth. "Can you do that?" Lacey nodded and made the face back at Amber, giggling softly. Jackson quickly took advantage of this and numbed the area on her arm where she needed stitches.

"Wasn't so bad, huh?" Amber asked. Lacey shook her head no.

"You are officially my hero." Jackson said as he pulled out a needle for stitches.

Amber smiled at him shyly before walking out of the pit. She followed the directions he gave her and ended up in the cafeteria.

She sat down at the farthest table she could, not wanting to interact with anybody. She glanced at the clock and sighed. It was only half past nine. _My life is officially going to suck._ She thought to herself. This was the first time since she was a small child that she was actually excited for school to begin.

"Hey kiddo." A voice said behind her. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at Derek.

"Hi Dr. Sheppard." She said politely.

"Derek." He corrected.

"Hi Derek."

"I'm on a coffee break and I saw you sitting over here all by yourself." He said, plopping down in the chair across from her." Did your mean old brother drag you to the hospital with him?"

"Unfortunately." She replied. Derek laughed softly, looking down at his cup.

"You know, my wife Meredith, her mother was a surgeon here." He began. Amber looked up and met his eyes, remembering her manners. "She had to spend every day she wasn't at school here, and from what I understand, it can be pretty boring."

"Well it definitely isn't fun." She commented.

"I'll tell you what. Why don't you finish your breakfast and come with me, I think I might be able to make it a little more interesting."

She glanced up at him quizzically, a mischievous grin (accompanied by heartbreaking dimples) spread across his face.

"Are you squeamish?" He asked.

* * *

><p>Amber sat excitedly in the O.R. gallery. <em>I am watching a man cut open someone's head. I am going to see his freaking brain. <em>She thought to herself, marveling at how easily Derek seemed to maneuver. Amber had always loved biology and anatomy. Her favorite day in class was dissection day. Every other girl in her class squealed and refused to touch a single thing, letting the boys to all the work. Not her though. Amber looked around at all of the interns furiously scribbling notes, all anxious for the chance to learn from Dr. Sheppard. A woman sat down in the seat next to her.

"It sure is something, huh?" Meredith asked.

"This is so cool." Amber stated, watching in awe as Derek began to excavate a brain tumor.

"The girl assisting him is my best friend Christina."

"Is she a resident too?" Amber asked, slightly surprised.

"Yep." Meredith replied.

"Wow, she is really good."

"Tell me about it. It's like I want to hate her for it…but I can't."

Amber laughed and continued watching.

When the surgery slowed down, Meredith escorted Amber back to the main floor so she could go back to the longue.

"There you are!" Alex exclaimed as she approached the nurses' station. "Where the hell were you? I came to check on you, but no one has seen you for hours."

"Derek took me to the gallery so I could watch his surgery." She said, clearly irritated that she had to answer to Alex. He seemed to soften slightly at her response.

"Well, don't just take off like that alright? Tell someone who can tell me. For a second I thought you…" He stopped, unsure if he wanted to finish.

"Thought that I what?" She scoffed. "Ran away? News flash Alex, as much as I don't want to be here, I don't have anywhere else to go." "Look, just tell me next time. I need to know where you are in case something ever happened."

Amber began to laugh condescendingly. "In case something ever happened? We're in a hospital Alex." With that, she pushed past him into the lobby and turned on the television.

"Hey!" Alex said walking in after her. "This whole 'walking away while I'm talking to you' thing needs to stop. I have to go back to work, you stay on this floor. Understand?"

Amber didn't reply.

"Amber!" He yelled.

"I heard you." She said cold1y. Alex shook his head and walked out of the longue, letting the door slam behind him.

* * *

><p>"Where are you headed to in such a huff?" Lexie asked when she saw Alex storming out of the longue.<p>

"I can't take care of that kid!" He exclaimed, lacing his hands together and placing them on his head in distress. "She is so…so freaking moody."

Lexie threw her head back and laughed. "It's called being a teenager Karev. She's angry at you, she'll come around."

"She never gave me attitude when we were younger." He argued.

"You can't just expect her to respect you instantly. She's smarter now; she knows things like that have to be earned." Lexie said. Alex thought about it for a moment and nodded slightly. However, it still bothered him that he couldn't fix things immediately. He was a surgeon, it was what he did. Slice and dice, problem solved.

"I guess you're right." He said, pausing for a moment. "Hey can you still take her home when you get off?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Thanks." He began to walk by, but stopped when he was shoulder to shoulder with her. "I owe you a drink."

Lexie blushed slightly, lowering her head trying to cover it the best she could.

* * *

><p>Amber mindlessly navigated the hallways of the pediatric unit. When she had decided to explore the hospital, she didn't expect that every hallway would look exactly the same. Who was Alex to tell her that she couldn't leave the main floor? Despite her rebellious attitude, she was still determined to find the elevator before Alex returned to the longue and had a heart attack. She was passing by a room filled with a large group of children when she noticed the girl she had helped Jackson with earlier.<p>

A large grin crept across Lacey's face as she saw Amber walk by. She waved, smiling widely.

"Are you feeling better?" Amber asked, walking over to the little girl's bed.

"Yes, but I wish my mom would come back."

"Where is she?"

"She had to go get my older brother."

"I'm sure she's coming as fast as the can." Amber said, hoping to comfort her somehow.

"Will you stay with me until they get here?" Amber hesitated slightly, she recalled Alex telling her to stay on the main floor. However, it wasn't that easy for her to say no to the tiny blonde girl staring up at her with large, green eyes. Besides, what else was she going to do for the next few hours? It was ridiculous for Alex to expect her to stay in one place for so long anyways.

"Of course I will." Amber answered, pulling a nearby chair closer to the bed.

"What's your name?" She asked.

"Amber Karev."

"That's a pretty name."

"Thank you." Amber replied with a smile. "Lacey's a pretty name too." The little girl beamed up at her before breaking out into a fit of coughing. They sat in silence for a moment before Amber spoke up again. "So what happened to you?"

Lacey began to tell her the story of the school fire at her elementary school. Amber listened intently and the two continued to make small talk until a slim woman with long, brunette hair walked in, accompanied by a teenage boy. The boy immediately ran to his sister's side

"Hey kid." He placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Mommy, Cody, this is my friend Amber." Lacey introduced.

"Thank you for keeping her company." Her mom said with a smile. Cody nodded while glancing nervously over his sister's injuries.

"I have to get going, but I'll see you soon, okay?" Amber said, wanting to leave the family to their visiting time. Lacey nodded and waved as she walked out of the room.

* * *

><p>Amber returned to the longue just in time. She had barely sat down when her brother returned with a tiny woman who looked somewhat similar to Meredith, only with darker hair.<p>

"Amber this is Lexie, I told you about her." Alex said. Amber nodded. "Her shift is over, she's going to take you home."

Amber smiled, thrilled to finally be leaving. She grabbed her purse and headed for the door, but was stopped by her brother who clearly wanted to say more.

"Listen…" He began nervously. "I know tomorrow is your first day of school, but I told Dr. Sloane that I would assist on a facial reconstruction surgery."

Amber blinked at him, offering no more than a vacant stare. Did he actually think she cared?

"So Jackson is going to take you to school, and I thought you could just take the bus here after. I'm sorry I won't be able to take you myself, but this is really important and I'll be here when you get out."

"Alex." She said softly. "I could care less if you took me to my first day of school." Without another word, she turned to face Lexie. "Can we leave?"

Lexie nodded and threw a sympathetic face to Alex before heading out the door. Alex was left standing in the longue alone, wondering for the hundredth time that day, what he could possibly do to make things better.

* * *

><p><strong>Once again, so sorry it took me so long to upload a new chapter! However, I made it super long to make up for it! Spring Break is in a few days, so I should have a chunk of free time to work on it. Oh and reviews are good for the soul! 3Maddie<strong>


	3. Riding With Boys

**Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! The feedback I have received has been so sweet. As someone who wants to write as a career someday, it means more to me than you know! **

**If there's anything anybody wants to see in this story, please let me know. More or less of any of the characters? Pairings? Romance? Confrontation? Fighting? Blah blah blah…I'll work it in!**

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><p>Alex rubbed his eyes, watching steam waft from the top of his coffee cup as it slowly filled. For the past hour, he couldn't stop yawning. After Amber's reaction to the surgery he had decided to scrub in on, he had picked up another shift. Considering he had to be back at 6:00 AM for the facial reconstruction surgery, he thought it would be easier to just stay at the hospital. Not to mention…he wasn't looking forward to dealing with her and her attitude. What he didn't count on, however, was the mass amount of patients rushed in after a drunk-driving accident. He had been attempting to catch some sleep in the on call room when he began to get paged. Owen, the head of the trauma unit had kept him busy; he had barely been allowed to catch his breath since.<p>

"Alex, the police are here." Callie informed him, poking her head into the room.

The accident had occurred between a single drunk driver and a group of four teenagers returning from a football game. Unfortunately, the teens seemed to have suffered the more severe injuries. The drunk driver had come out of it all with only a broken leg and a gash on his left cheek.

"Any improvements with the boy?" Alex asked hopefully. Callie shook her head softly. She was just as disappointed as he was.

The seventeen year old boy who had been in the backseat of the car had remained non responsive since the accident. Ironically, he had been the only one wearing a seat belt. As much as Alex was hoping for some sign of brain activity, the outlook was not looking favorable. The other passenger in the back seat suffered from a perforated lung and was still in procedure. The driver and front seat passenger had been thrown from the car and we're in a lot better shape than their friends.

Alex was repressing the strong urge to punch a wall as he walked out of the room. It took every ounce of will power he had to refrain from doing so, but mostly because he did not want to spill his coffee. As he gave his statement to the police, his thoughts drifted to the poor family that may very well lose their son. _That driver better burn for this. _He thought, thinking if the police didn't take action, he might injure the no-good drunk himself.

* * *

><p>"Amber let's go!" Jackson urged, standing by the door impatiently. Amber appeared in the kitchen wearing a high-waisted, floral skirt with a white tank-top.<p>

"Good enough for a first-day-at-a-new-school outfit?" She asked as she lifted her backpack off of the kitchen table.

"You look very nice." Jackson reassured her. She smiled happily and followed him out the back door.

"So, you're new school emailed your schedule…it's pretty impressive." He commented once in the car. Amber shrugged and pulled on her seatbelt.

"Seriously! AP Biology, Honors Anatomy, AP Calculus…." He began as he backed out of the driveway. "When I was you're age, I couldn't even do geometry on a good day."

Amber laughed and looked out the window, surveying the neighborhood. "I just figured the only way I can make sure I get to college is by working really hard."

"That's very mature of you."

They rode in silence for a few minutes before Jackson asked the obvious question that Amber had been waiting for.

"So these courses….it looks like you…."

"Want to be a doctor." She cut him off. "Yeah…unfortunately."

"Is that a dig at your brother?" He asked, glancing at her before returning his eyes to the road.

"Well….look at him."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Amber scoffed. "He hates the world, he left his family, and from what I've heard around the hospital, he's basically mean to everyone…not to mention, he calls me 'dude' a lot."

"He isn't exactly a ball of sunshine…but he's a good man." He said slowly. "And more so, he's a brilliant surgeon."

"I guess." Amber said half-heartedly.

Jackson waited until they hit a stoplight so he could look at her. "Amber." He said. She glanced up and met his piercing blue eyes. "You know your brother wants what's best for you, right?"

"He should have thought of that six years ago." She mumbled.

Jackson sighed in defeat, but he didn't push the conversation any further. He pulled up to the main entrance of the school and handed Amber a folded sheet of paper.

"Here's your schedule. You should go to the office first and they will verify it. Alex wants you to take the bus straight to the hospital after school, got it?"

"Got it. Thanks for the ride." She shut the car door and waved, watching as he drove away. Slowly she gathered her courage, took a deep breath, and headed for the front entrance.

* * *

><p>Alex blinked rapidly, willing himself to stay awake until the end of his shift. He had finally gotten a few hours of sleep in the on-call room before being summoned by Bailey to go check on patients, but it definitely wasn't enough. He sullenly walked into the room that held the two teenagers who were awake. Both had suffered from severe whiplash and several lacerations from being thrown through the front windshield.<p>

"Where are Lucas and Chris?" One of them demanded upon seeing Alex.

He chose not to respond immediately, and instead, quietly looked over their test results. "Alright, Dave, Sam, I see no signs of internal injuries or damage to the brain, so I'd say we can release you both later this evening." He moved closer and examined their stitches, making sure they were done correctly.

"I asked you a question." The same boy said timidly.

Alex sighed; he couldn't put this off any longer. "Your friend Chris has a perforated lung and should be out of surgery any minute."

"And Lucas?"

Alex paused. He was accustomed to breaking this kind of news to family, but he had never attempted to tell two kids that their best friend was most likely going to die.

"Sam, he's….he's nonresponsive." He replied gently, taking care to look the boy in the eyes.

"What does that mean?"

"He's in a coma, with no signs of mental activity."

Sam looked as if he had just been slapped in the face. He leaned back into his pillow, his eyes glassy. "I was driving." He said, barely above a whisper. "When I saw that man coming towards us….I panicked. I tried to get out of the way, but I didn't move in time."

"Sam, this was not your fault." Alex said seriously. "You weren't the one who decided to drive drunk."

"Please, just let him be ok." He said again, this time not to Alex. With that he shifted positions and rolled onto his side. Alex took that as his cue to leave, they needed time to process the information.

He checked his pager cautiously before heading to the elevator. He wanted to go get lunch and coffee, but he had a feeling that the second he tried to move, he would be paged again.

* * *

><p>"Thanks for the ride." Amber said, offering a shy smile. Caleb, the boy who had given her a ride to the hospital, responded with a flirtatious wave. "Any time." He replied. Amber closed the door of his truck and made her way into the hospital. She smiled, pleased with herself that she had already made a friend who had his own car. She glanced at the map mounted on the wall before walking into the elevator and hitting the main floor button. The doors opened to reveal Alex, coffee in hand, standing in front of her. She narrowly avoided smacking into him.<p>

"Amber!" He said happily. "I didn't think the bus would get here so fast."

"It didn't have to, I found a ride."

"From who?" He asked skeptically.

"Some boy." She replied. "He just got his license the other day and was so pumped that he was basically offering a ride to anybody."

"Amber I-" He began in protest, but was cut off as his pager began to beep.

"Better take care of that." She said flatly before pushing past him and walking down the hall.

She had barely walked into the longue before Alex barged in through the door behind her, causing the knob to slam into the back wall. "Don't walk away from me when I'm trying to talk to you." He said sternly.

Amber rolled her eyes before turning around to face him. "I'm sorry, weren't you finished?" She mocked. Alex narrowed his eyes, clearly growing frustrated. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves before saying anything.

"Look, you don't just get in the car with 'some boy,' got it? Especially not one who just got his license."

"So you would rather have me take the bus where I could get mugged or something?" She argued.

"Dude, that's enough. I'm the adult and you're the child, okay? If I say you don't do something, you don't do it, plain and simple. If it happens again, things are going to get ugly." He threatened.

"Right, because they were so pretty the first time."

Alex opened his mouth to let her have it, but was once again cut off by his pager. "We'll talk later." He warned.

"Right! Work first, family later!" She called after him as he ran out the door.

* * *

><p>Alex stood next to Derek wordlessly, waiting for him to deliver the news. No matter how many times you did something like this, it never got any easier, not by a long shot.<p>

"Mr. and Mrs. Martin," Derek began solemnly, "I'm sorry, but there are still no signs of brain activity." The parents considered this for a moment. Choking back tears, the father spoke up.

"What do we do? We can wait, can't we? People wake up from comas all the time." He argued. Derek struggled to overcome the lump in his throat; this was the worst part of his job.

"His condition isn't going to change. This isn't the same as a coma. He's been declared brain dead." Derek said, delivering the words as gently as he possibly could. "I'm so sorry."

The mother began to sob quietly, holding on to the sleeve of her husband's shirt, knowing she would collapse to the floor if she let go.

"I think it's time you said goodbye." Alex said softly.

The father looked at his wife. She collected herself the best that she could and took a step back, leaving her husband to take his son's lifeless hand into his own. Tears quietly fell off his cheeks and landed on the railings of the bed, sliding away as if they were never there. "Lucas." He said, forcing his words out as his voice began to crack. "I have never been more proud of another human being in my entire life. You are the greatest son anyone could ask for, and I will never understand why it was you who…." He let his voice trail off, thinking very carefully of what he wanted to say next. "You know…" He began slowly, "I'm standing here struggling to think of some elaborate speech because I want the last words I say to you to be special. But, I guess there really isn't anything more important for me to say than….I love you more than anything."

He took a step back, his body retching with sobs as his wife took her turn. She didn't say anything at first, but just stared at the body of her son, looking over every inch, wondering how he could look so different, but yet still the same. Finally she leaned down, drawing her face near to his. She kissed him on the cheek softly.

"Bye baby boy." She said through her tears. "I love you."

* * *

><p>Alex returned home that night, his eyes sore and his heart heavy. Heavy rain pelted his back as he hesitantly stepped out of his car. He wanted nothing more than to fall face first into the comforting embrace of his bed, but if he had learned anything from the events of the day, family came first.<p>

He walked in through the back door into the kitchen and could here laughter drifting out of the den. He poked his head in to see Amber and Lexie curled up on the couch, giggling uncontrollably.

"What's so funny?" He asked, throwing his rain jacket onto a nearby

The two girls looked up and upon seeing him, began to laugh harder. Alex rolled his eyes. "I don't understand you two." He commented, retreating into the kitchen. "Amber, have you eaten?" He called.

"No, we just got back." She replied in between more bouts of laughter. Alex couldn't deny the fact that he was slightly irritated. He was working really hard, or at least he thought he was, to earn his sister's respect. Meanwhile, Lexie has one evening with her and suddenly, they were best friends. Somehow it just didn't seem fair.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"Doesn't matter."

Alex sighed and rummaged through the pantry, eventually settling for a box of hamburger helper.

Thirty minutes later, the three of them sat awkwardly around the kitchen table.

"How was school?" Alex finally asked.

"Fine." She said, pushing food around on her plate.

"Oh, and I expect you to eat tonight."

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She said angrily.

"Giving me attitude." He replied sharply. She glared at him and grudgingly took a few bites.

"Satisfied?"

"Very much so."

They sat for a few more minutes before Lexie could no longer stand the silence.

"Do you like your classes?" She asked. Amber looked up at Lexie and suppressed a laugh, as if sharing a secret.

"Not as much as my teachers." She said with a grin, causing the two to burst out laughing again.

"Did you make any friends?" Alex piped in, wishing he could have a simple conversation with Amber. Somehow, he didn't think that would happen.

"Yes, but according to you, I can't hang out with him."

"I said you couldn't get into the car with him." He corrected.

"Is there a difference?"

"Damn it, Amber. Quit making me out to be the bad guy."

"You always told me not to lie." She said with a smirk.

"Lose the attitude. I'm not going to tell you again."

"Screw you." She said quietly.

He sighed in frustration. "Alright, just go to your room. I'm done trying to deal with you right now."

Amber didn't show any signs of moving. She looked up at Lexie for conformation who gave her a slight nod. After seeing that, she reluctantly pushed her chair in a walked down the hallway wordlessly, slamming her bedroom door as loudly as she could.

* * *

><p>Alex couldn't shake the various emotions weighing down on him like a ton of bricks. But then again, he couldn't quite make out exactly <em>what<em> he was feeling either. It was a compilation of sorts, an intense commingling of anger, worry, hurt, and stress. He knew he had to talk to her, he couldn't keep pretending things would fix themselves. He wanted her to know he cared, and more so, he wanted her to know he was going to try. _If only things could be so simple._ He had never been able to convey emotions effortlessly; in fact, he usually just covered up every emotion with anger. It was easier that way. If people don't know what you are feeling, they can't hold it against you.

He knocked on her door twice before opening it and peaking in. Amber was in her bed, covers pulled up to her waist, a book in hand. She didn't even acknowledge his presence.

"Amber." He said, wondering if he was making a mistake by bringing this up again. She looked up from her book, but didn't say anything.

"I'm not trying to start something, so please just listen to me." He sat down on the edge of her bed cautiously. "It's obvious you don't like me. It's even more obvious that you think you don't have to do what I say."

"I don't." She cut in.

Alex took a deep breath and counted to five before continuing. It was all he could do to control his temper. "Yes you do, but that's not even the point." He began, trying to phrase his sentences carefully. "Earlier, when I told you that you couldn't just accept rides from people, I wasn't saying that for fun. I'm trying to keep you safe." Amber shifted positions and met his gaze. Her eyes were ice cold, reflecting darkly with anger and resentment.

"Look, I don't need your dumb rules. In case you haven't noticed Alex, I can take care of myself." She said returning her eyes to her book. "I've been doing it since the day you left." She mumbled as an afterthought.

Alex was caught off guard by this comment. He considered getting up at leaving, she was right after all. But then again, that didn't mean she could disregard everything he said. He was the older brother. He knew what was best for her….right?

"Amber, look at me." He finally said after a moment of silence. When she didn't respond, he reached over and closed her book. "Look at me." He repeated. She looked up reluctantly.

"I watched two parents say goodbye to their seventeen year old son today. He was in a car accident." He paused and swallowed, gathering the courage to continue. "And I know it wasn't his fault…but it all started when he got into the car with some reckless teenagers who didn't have the driving experience to react quickly enough when a drunk driver headed their way."

Amber didn't respond.

"Now, maybe it could have been prevented if they were more experienced, and maybe not. But that's not a chance I'm willing to take. I will not let something like that happen to you, ok? I don't want you in the car with anybody who hasn't had their license for at least a year, and I do expect to know who they are. That's the rule, and it's something you have to live with even if you don't agree with it. I honestly don't think I'm being unreasonable."

She looked at him, almost as if searching for signs of insincerity in her brother's face, wondering if what he was expressing was legitimate concern. Why does he suddenly care about her safety? Why now?

"I'm sorry." She finally spoke up.

She didn't elaborate, nor did she offer an explanation as to exactly what she was sorry for. Alex contemplated it a moment. Was she sorry that he watched a teenage boy die? That she had gotten in the car with someone she barely knew? That she had been acting so cold since the moment she arrived? Alex couldn't be entirely sure, but he knew one thing: those two words she had just uttered we're not empty. There was something behind them, and that was a good enough start.

**You likeeeeee? This chapter was a little less hospital stuff, a little more family drama. Tell me which you prefer, or if you are satisfied with my mix! You all rock! xxMaddie**


	4. What's More Important?

**Sorry for the wait! Basically my whole plan of having spare time to write during my spring break….yeah, didn't happen. Like a typical college student, I chose to go to the beach! However, I'm back on campus now and should be updating more! So please review! It motivates me! **

**Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I do not own Grey's Anatomy**

* * *

><p>"Karev! I need blood, O+, NOW! I don't care if you have to steal it, just get it done!" Owen screamed as he frantically tried to slow down the blood oozing from his patient's chest. A drive in the rain had resulted in a man with a tree limb protruding from his chest.<p>

"What's your name?" Owen asked calmly.

"Noah." The man gasped. He looked somewhat young, most likely in his late 20's or early 30's, but the injuries made it hard to be sure.

"Alright Noah, we're going to take care of you." Owen reassured him. "Somebody put pressure on the side!" He barked across the room. Lexie, who had been monitoring vitals, scrambled over to the gurney and pressed a stack of gauze against the lower portion of the man's chest. Blood seeped through his shirt with every pulse of his heart. She watched in horror as his eyes seemed to roll into the back of his head.

"Where the hell is Karev?" Owen shouted, growing frantic as Noah's vitals began to drop. "He's coding! Crash cart, stat!"

A nearby doctor shoved the cart to Own in a matter of seconds. He quickly wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead and took the paddles into his hand. "All right charge….clear!" Owen shouted.

"Nothing." Lexie said.

"Clear!" Owen shouted, charging for a second time. The patient's body jolted followed by the rhythmic sound of beeping. "Got it!"

Noah broke into a fit of coughing, causing blood to escape more rapidly. His breathing grew shorter and shorter. Lexie pushed the gauze down harder. A few moments later Alex appeared in the doorway, breathless, holding several bags of blood.

"Alright doctors! Let's get him stable enough for surgery." Owen instructed as Alex handed over the blood. "Good work Karev."

* * *

><p>"He literally has a tree in his chest!" Lexie exclaimed as she walked into the surgical wing next to Alex.<p>

"Yeah, now we just have to get it out." Alex said, stepping in front of a sink to begin scrubbing up. Lexie took the one next to him.

"So about the other night…" She began nervously. "I hope you don't think I was undermining you or anything, Amber and I just sort of hit it off. I didn't mean to-"

Alex cut her off. "I'm happy you and my sister are friends Lexie. She needs that kind of relationship in her life, especially since she wants nothing to do with me."

"How are things between you two?" She asked sympathetically.

"I guess we've made some sort of microscopic progress, but it's too soon to tell. She still barely talks to me, and when she does, she speaks in fluent sarcasm."

"Baby steps." Lexie said reassuringly.

"I need a drink." Alex said tiredly as he turned off the sink.

"A drink, or a _drink_?" She asked suggestively, turning towards the door.

"Oh, definitely a _drink_."

"Well you still owe me one."

"That's right, I do." He said with a flirtatious smile. "Friday?"

"Sounds good." She paused for a moment. "We do have one problem."

"What's that?"

"Mark."

Alex sighed. Despite the somewhat unpleasant breakup, Mark still seemed to think he held some sort of claim over Lexie. As much as he would like to say this didn't bother him, the man was his superior and had quite a bit of sway concerning his career as a surgeon.

"He'll live." Alex said confidently, pushing open the door to the O.R. with his shoulder. "So, Friday?"

"You know where to find me." She replied with a grin as she pulled up her mask.

* * *

><p>Alex shuffled through the various odds and ends in his locker, yanking his jeans out from the bottom of the pile. He changed out of his blood-stained scrubs and into normal human clothes. <em>What a day.<em> He thought tiredly. It wasn't uncommon to lose a patient admitted to the trauma unit, in fact, it happened quite a bit. However, Alex was taking this one harder than usual. He thought the guy would make it…but there's no telling how much damage a tree can do. Now, he just wanted to leave. He was incredibly thankful that he didn't have to return until the following evening. Normally getting stuck with the night shift was a bad thing, but getting to sleep in was a rarity in his life and he intended to cherish it.

His thoughts were interrupted as the door swung open, revealing Arizona and Callie, their fingers laced together affectionately.

"Karev, just the man I wanted to see." Arizona said happily. Callie let go of her hand and walked over to the locker next to Alex.

"Really?" Alex asked, stunned. Arizona was not his biggest fan. He had been sucking up ever since he discovered his new-found interest in pediatrics, but she hadn't entirely been buying it.

"Well…seeing how you took your sister in all, I just figured…" She let her voice trail off, searching for the appropriate way to convey her thoughts. She looked over to her girlfriend for support. Callie gave a nod and made a hand gesture, telling her to continue. "I mean, if you still are interested in pediatrics….perhaps I was a bit…overly judgmental."

Alex stood agape in disbelief. He was thrilled. Callie nudged him in the ribs with her elbow. "Y-yes, of course I am." He spit out.

"There's an eight-year-old girl with a mass on one of her lungs. We will be removing it tomorrow morning at 9:00. I know you aren't scheduled to work, so if you can't come I understand…but I wanted to let you know that you're invited."

"I'll be there." He responded without hesitation.

* * *

><p>Alex stood at the stove the next morning bustling with energy, despite being deprived of his one day to sleep in. As he pushed scrambled eggs around in a frying pan his thoughts shifted to the upcoming surgery. He felt his stomach turn at the very thought of it. He took a deep breath in an attempt to steady his nerves. Impressing Arizona was an absolute must. Pediatric fellowships were among the most competitive in the country, he wouldn't get in without her recommendation.<p>

"Amber!" Alex yelled down the hall. "Come eat something, we're leaving in fifteen!"

There was no sign of movement in the hallway. Alex huffed in irritation. "See what I deal with?" He said to Derek who was sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop. It was his day off and he was proactively using it to make some progress on plans for the "dream house" he was having built for him and Meredith.

"Would you like some help?" Derek asked, suppressing a laugh.

"Please."

"Amber! Kitchen, NOW!" Derek's voice boomed through the house.

Amber appeared in the kitchen in a matter of seconds. Derek threw a victorious face in Alex's direction. He shook his head in disbelief.

"I don't get it." Alex said quietly to Derek.

"She listens to _me_." He teased.

Alex turned his attention to his sister. She was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants with a pair of Uggs pulled over them. She looked exhausted. "I'm not hungry." She said tiredly.

"You always say that." Alex responded. "You are withering away right before my eyes, sit down."

Amber reluctantly sat down as Alex placed a plate filled with toast, eggs, and bacon in front of her.

"I expect that plate clean in less than five minutes." He walked out of the kitchen to go change into his scrubs.

She opened her mouth to protest again but came to the conclusion that actions speak louder than words. She sat in silence, knowing if she took a single bite it might very well end up on the kitchen floor. Minutes ticked away and she was half asleep in her chair when Alex came clunking back down the hallway.

"Amber!" He began angrily upon seeing the untouched food. Then he took a good look at her face. "Good lord kiddo, you are pale as a ghost." He made his way over to her chair and kneeled down, touching the back of his hand to her forehead. She immediately pushed it off.

"Amber stop." He warned, returning his hand to her forehead. He wasn't surprised when he felt the heat radiating through her skin. Her eyes were glazed over and he could see goose bumps forming on her arms. "Yeah, there's no way you are going to school. Go get back in bed."

She stood up in a trance and carried herself back into her room. Alex followed behind a few minutes later with a thermometer and a glass of orange juice. "Open." He said. Amber allowed him to pop the thermometer into her mouth and the two of them sat in silence until it beeped.

"Jesus." Alex said glancing down at the numbers on the tiny screen.

"Hm?" Amber questioned.

"103." He said with a sigh. "Here, drink this." He looked at his watch nervously

She took a small sip and returned it to her night stand. "Do you have to work today?" She asked. "I thought you had the night shift."

"I do…well I did." He began, already starting to feel guilty. "But Arizona offered to let me assist in a mass extraction on an eight-year-old. She's the one I need to impress to get accepted into a pediatric fellowship."

"Oh." For a second Alex thought she looked disappointed, as if she wanted him to stay and take care of her. However, her facial expression quickly became blank and unreadable. "Well you should probably get going then."

"Derek's going to look after you. I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?" He said, putting a hand on her leg. She moved to the side to shake it off.

"Yeah, okay." She said, rolling over and submerging herself in her blankets.

* * *

><p>Alex walked through the hallways of the hospital, once again, feeling like a horrible brother. He shoved his way through a set of double doors and was greeted by the brightly colored, artwork littered walls of the pediatric unit. He walked into the patient's room, quickly glancing at the girl's chart to make sure he was in the right place.<p>

"Hi Kelly, I'm Alex." He said, smiling at the young girl. She looked very tiny in her hospital bed, hooked up to numerous machines. Half of her face was covered by a small mask that provided extra oxygen. The mass was compressing one of her lungs, depriving her of the appropriate amount of air she needed. Despite all that, she seemed surprisingly content.

"Hi." She said through the mask. It lifted slightly and the corners of her mouth peaked out with an innocent smile. A tray was placed in front of her with a multitude of crayons spread over it. She stopped coloring her picture and gave him her attention.

"What's that you're drawing?" He asked gently.

"Aladdin." She said happily. "He's my favorite Disney prince."

"No question." He said with a smile. "He has the cool hat."

Kelly giggled and picked up a purple crayon and resumed her artwork.

Alex turned his attention to the girl's mother. He extended a hand. "Mrs. Sanders, I'll be assisting Dr. Robins today."

"Thank you so much doctor." She said warmly. She gently ran her fingers through her daughter's blonde hair. "They're going to make you feel all better, baby."

Kelly glanced up at her mother affectionately with bright, blue eyes. After setting down her crayon, she slid the piece of paper off of the tray. "I want you to have it, Alex." She said sweetly.

Alex took the picture in his hand and glanced down at it. A smile crept across his face. "You know, this is really good." He said, holding it up. "A patient has never given me a picture before." He leaned in closer so he could whisper, as if sharing a secret. "That makes you my favorite." Kelly beamed up at him and then began shuffling through her coloring book to choose a new picture. Alex folded the sheet of paper neatly and slid it into the pocket of his scrubs. When Amber was little, back when she was in kindergarten, she would bring Alex home all sorts of…interesting looking crafts and pictures. Sure, his friends gave him hell when they found the glitter stained, marker scribbled, papers hanging up in his room, but he had loved all of them.

A few moments later, the girl's father appeared in the doorway. "Dr. Robbins said they will be starting soon….Pam, you seriously need to get some sleep." He said to his wife. He looked over at Alex. "She literally hasn't left Kelly's bedside unless she was physically forced to. She was here all night."

"That's what parents do." She said with a smile. "She knows I'll always take care of her." She planted a kiss on Kelly's forehead. "Do you have kids, doctor?" She asked, shifting her attention to Alex.

"Oh…no." He said, slightly taken aback by the question. "But, I take care of my little sister."

"I could tell." She said, glancing down at her daughter. "You seem nurturing."

It was all Alex could do not to laugh. He had been called many things in his life, but nurturing? It was the exactly opposite. He was cold. He was stoic. He was self-centered. He was everything a parent should strive against. Sure, he had left home with the mindset that he was doing so to provide for his family, but was that the only reason? Was there a small part, some infinitesimal portion of him that had wanted to leave them all behind and forget? Amber wasn't wrong to resent him. He had made his choice, sealed his fate, many years before. He had put himself first instead of her…he was _anything_ but nurturing.

Alex had been involved in diagnosing enough medical mysteries that he was well accustomed to that sudden feeling of insight, the moment when everything finally comes together. A "light-bulb" moment, some might say. This was just that. He _was_ selfish. He _had_ been continually putting himself first. But time wasn't up just yet, now was the time for second chances.

"Excuse me." He said, abruptly setting down the chart and exiting the room calmly. He knew he looked ridiculous, speed walking the hallways, but he had to find Arizona. If he ever expected Amber to respect him, he had to start showing her that she came first.

"Karev, where's the fire?" A voice said behind him. He spun around quickly.

"Dr. Robins! I…I have to go." He said breathlessly. She crinkled her eyebrows in confusion, but didn't say anything. "It's Amber…." He proceeded. "I just need to…I'll explain later."

A look of realization took over Arizona's face. "Go." She said with a nod of understanding. Alex smiled at her.

"Don't give up on me…not yet." He said before turning around and bolting down the hallway.

* * *

><p>Alex set a glass of water on the nightstand softly, not wanting to disturb Amber, who had finally dozed off. He was almost out of the room when he heard her begin to stir behind him.<p>

"Alex?" She asked sleepily. He turned around. She pushed herself into a more upright position and rubbed her eyes. She glanced at the clock. "Your surgery can't be over."

"Hey you." He said, ignoring her comment and making his way back over to her bed. He touched his hand to her forehead gently, this time she didn't fight him. "Are you feeling better?"

"Sort of, but not really." She answered truthfully. He frowned and picked up the thermometer sitting on her dresser.

"Open." He said. She obeyed and waited patiently until the thermometer began to beep. "A hundred and one. A little bit better than before."

"You didn't answer my question…you're surgery." She said, settling back into her pillows.

"I left." He stated plainly.

"But, you can't just leave a surgery." She said in confusion. "You said it was for pediatrics…I thought you had to impress Dr. Robins."

"You're more important."

She thought about it for a moment. "So, you came back…for me?"

"You got it." He said, smiling softly.

Amber looked down, lost in thought. She had no idea what to make of the current situation. She shivered slightly, but quickly shifted positions, not wanting Alex to see how sick she really felt. Without hesitation, he walked over to her closet and yanked another blanket off of the top shelf. He placed it over her bedspread and tucked it around her, hoping it would help.

"Hey Alex?" She said quietly. He looked up at her and waited to see if she would continue. "Why are you being so nice to me when I've been so mean?"

Alex laughed softly, tugging on the end of the blanket so it would cover her feet. "Well, it's easy." He stopped and hesitated slightly. "I love you…..and that means I'll always take care of you no matter what."

She opened her mouth to respond, but stopped, obviously experiencing conflicting emotions.

"It's ok. You don't have to say anything." He assured her. "Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

She nodded and rolled over, nuzzling her face into the surrounding pillows. "Thanks Alex." She said after a moment, her voice muffled.

Alex turned away from her before he allowed himself to smile. He quietly closed her blinds, attempting to block some of the sunlight seeping in. As he closed her door behind him, he reflected on the events that had just unfolded. He was honestly shocked at himself. After all, surgery was his life. It validated him; it provided him with his entire sense of self-worth. But somehow, leaving his sister's room, he felt more accomplished than any surgery had made him feel in a long time.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it! I'll be updating a lot more now that I'm back at school. Thanks so much for reading! xxMaddie<strong>


	5. Baby Steps

**Thank you SO much to those who reviewed. Hearing that people enjoy my writing is what keeps me going! **

**This chapter is going to be a little bit more focused on the home life of Alex and Amber. Hope you enjoy!**

**I do not own Grey's Anatomy****….but it would be flipping awesome if I did.**

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><p>Alex glanced at his watch impatiently before returning his attention to the large gash he was stitching up. It wasn't like dealing with the aftermath of dangerous stunts was a novelty to him, but this was some kind of record-breaking stupidity in his opinion.<p>

Amber, with her award winning attitude, had refused to leave the house until her hair was absolutely perfect, forcing Alex to be late to work. Derek, although he seemed sympathetic, wouldn't show him any special treatment. Now he was stuck in the pit for the remainder of the day, stitching up the genius who took a motorcycle off the roof of his fraternity house. Instead of scrubbing in and observing while Derek sliced the top of a man's head off, Alex had thus far had the pleasure of treating strep throat, three allergic reactions, a headache, several cases of poison ivy, two puncture wounds, eight people who needed stitches, and even a bee sting. _The things people thought deserved a hospital visit. _And now he was lucky enough to pop a college student's shoulder back into place and stitch up yet another cut.

He heard snickering behind him and looked over his shoulder to glare at the small crowd of fraternity boys who were clearly entertained at their friend's expense.

"Bro, you got some serious air." One of them offered in between bouts of laughter.

"You're lucky a cut and a dislocated shoulder is all that went wrong." Alex cut him off angrily. "How stupid does a person have to be to try something like this?"

"It's called hazing, doc." His patient chimed in, cringing slightly as Alex slid the needle back through his forehead for another stitch.

"Hey, we didn't force him to take a motorcycle off the roof for hazing." A bulky-looking frat boy in the back said. "We just forced him to drink the alcohol that made it seem like a good idea!" With that, the entire group began to roar with laughter.

"Yeah, well Brad, do you mind if I offer you some medical advice?" Alex said, leaning in closer towards his patient.

"I guess."

"Find new friends."

"Brothers are for life man." He said, putting his fist in the air in the direction of his friends. They responded with an approving cheer.

"Well then I guess I'll be seeing you back here soon."

* * *

><p>When business in the pit had finally slowed down, Alex took the opportunity to go to the longue and check on Amber. School had been out for an hour or so and he hadn't had the chance to go make small talk with her. The conversation they shared in the car on the way to drop her off at school had been less than pleasant. In other words, he had spent the entire ride yelling at her that he was going to be late. He poked his head into the longue and was surprised to find in completely empty. It didn't look like she had been there at all. Normally if she went somewhere, she left her backpack and books on the back table. He made his way out to the nurses' station.<p>

"Hey Kathy, did my sister get here yet?" He asked the nurse on duty. For the past week when Amber would come to the hospital, he had asked her to check in with whichever nurse was at the station. It was easier to keep tabs on her that way.

"Not yet Dr. Karev."

He sighed angrily. He hadn't really gotten around to laying down any specific rules for Amber other than the whole car thing, but he had assumed she knew better than to just disappear without letting him know. He glanced at the doors leading to the main floor, willing his sister to appear. He couldn't deny that he was worried.

"How's the pit?" A voice said behind him. He spun around to see Derek picking up a chart and skimming over it quickly.

"Very funny."

"Be on time then." Derek said with a grin.

"Fair enough…hey, did you hear Amber say anything about staying after school or something?" He asked, hoping the answer would be yes. Then he could calm down.

"I don't think so. Why? Is she not here?" He asked, glancing towards the longue.

"No."

"She didn't' call or anything?"

"No." Alex answered, growing more irritated.

"I'll ask Jackson or Lexie if I see them, but I don't recall her saying anything."

"Thanks."

Alex headed down to the first floor to check the cafeteria. Maybe she had skipped lunch and decided to get something to eat before coming to the longue. It was worth a shot.

He poked his head in and scanned the various tables where people sat eating; there was no sight of her. He turned around came face to face with Arizona Robins.

"Alex!" She said happily, as if he was her favorite person in the world.

"Dr. Robbins." He said politely.

"About the surgery the other day…" She started

"I'm really sorry I just ran out like that. Amber was sick and I just….wanted to show her I cared. I'm kind of regretting it now seeing as that was most likely my one shot to prove to you I can make it as a-"

"Alex, take a breath." She cut him off. "I'm not angry, the opposite actually. I was rather….impressed with your decision. I could tell it was hard for you to do."

"Really?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yes. And furthermore, you really made an impression on the Sanders family. The parents were disappointed when they found out you had to leave…and Kelly has even been asking if you were still one of her doctors."

"She has?" He said, trying to hide his smile.

"She likes you. I guess I was wrong." She paused for a moment. "So, I'm not giving up on you…not yet."

Alex stood dumfounded as Arizona waved sweetly and wheeled away on her "Heely" shoes. He didn't expect things to go so smoothly.

He shook his head, reminding himself that there was a bigger situation at hand: the whereabouts of his sister. He angrily made his way into the longue. He would just have to wait for her himself.

* * *

><p>Amber stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the main floor, adjusting her backpack on her right shoulder. She walked towards the longue, dreading the hours of homework to come. She had stayed after school with Caleb, the boy who had given her a ride home the first day. He offered to help her with her Calculus, which unfortunately had proven to be much harder at her new school. She pushed the door open with her shoulder and found Alex sitting on the couch facing the door, fuming.<p>

"Amber, what the hell?" He shouted angrily, jumping out of his seat upon seeing her.

"What?" She asked defensively as she sat her backpack down on the nearest table.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been? Where the hell were you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! Caleb offered to help me with my Calculus so we stayed after school in the library."

Alex paused for a moment. He wasn't expecting an apology, at least not one that wasn't laced with sarcasm and resentment. It made it slightly more difficult to be angry with her. He lowered his voice a little.

"You should have called me." He said sternly.

"I don't have a phone." She argued.

"Wait a minute..." He said, suddenly coming to a new realization. "How did you get here?"

Amber looked down at her feet nervously.

"Amber!" He groaned. "We talked about this!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't think about the whole ride thing until it was too late. Caleb was my only option." She said, looking up at him with pleading eyes, the same puppy-eyes she used when she was a little girl.

"No no, don't give me that look. You know damn well there were other options. All you had to do was ask the librarian to use the phone and call me…or anyone from the house for that matter. Somebody would have come to get you."

"I didn't want to bother you." She said innocently. Alex knew she was playing the 'sweet little girl' card to get out of trouble, and man was she doing it well. He held up his finger like he was about to make a point, but stopped upon realizing he didn't know what to say.

"So…what do you say we pretend like this didn't happen?" She asked hopefully, throwing on a cheesy smile for effect.

"You're not off the hook if that's what you mean."

Her face deflated. "Don't you think you're overreacting?"

He exhaled; he wasn't equipped to handle these situations. This was something parents were meant to take care of. "No, Amber, I don't."

"In my defense, you never specifically stated I needed to call you if I was going to be late. So in the grand aspect of things, I only broke one rule. Keep that in mind."

_Damn, this kid is good. _He thought, trying to maintain a serious gaze.

"Amber, I've been pretty lenient with you since you got here because I know you aren't used to people actually caring what you do. Mom was never lucid enough to know where you were, and Aaron never bothered to ask. But you're in my world now, okay? And here, actions have consequences."

Her eyes narrowed with anger. "You can't penalize me for something I didn't know I wasn't supposed to do!"

"Oh, yeah?" He scoffed. "I think that's up to me."

Amber held her ground, staring angrily into Alex's eyes. He didn't back down, and this time, it was his little sister who finally looked away. "Whatever." She mumbled, taking a seat.

"Alright, we'll deal with the Caleb situation later tonight once I decide what to do with you." He stated.

She crossed her arms and returned her gaze to her feet. "Whatever." She repeated glumly.

"…And after work we're getting you a phone."

She perked up slightly. "A cool one?"

"If you're nice to me."

Amber cracked a smile. She quickly tried to hide it, but not before Alex saw. _Baby steps. _He thought. _Maybe Lexie was right._

* * *

><p>Alex checked behind his shoulder cautiously before entering the pediatric unit. Arizona had paged him and asked if he would like to rejoin Kelly's case. She still had a long road of recovery ahead of her. He had left out the fact that Derek had banished him to the pit for the day; this was too good of an opportunity to pass up.<p>

"Remember me?" Alex said playfully as he poked his head into the young girl's room.

"Dr. Alex!" She said happily.

"How's my favorite patient?" He asked, noticing how much healthier she looked already. She had more color in her face, which was now free from the breathing mask, and despite the large bandage that covered her chest and neck, she looked like a normal little girl.

"It hurts to move sometimes." She replied sadly.

"Yeah, well that will go away." He said as he walked over to her bedside. "I promise."

"Are you my doctor again?" She asked.

"Yeah," He said with a smile, "I am."

"Good." She said with a sigh of relief. "I like you better than the girl that was here yesterday."

"What girl?" He asked.

"Dr. Yang. She never smiled, not even once."

Alex laughed. "Yeah, well that's Christina for you. She isn't the happiest of people."

Kelly giggled. "No, my daddy said she reminded him of a robot."

"You would be surprised how often I hear that." He paused for a moment. "I do need to change your bandages."

"No, they're fine!" She responded quickly.

"I'll make it super fast."

"Pinky promise?" She asked, holding out her small hand. He chuckled before enveloping her tiny finger in his own. "Yes" he responded.

She hissed slightly as he peeled the gauze off of her neck, keeping her eyes focused on the ceiling tiles above her.

"Where are your parents today?" He asked, trying to distract her.

"Dr. Robbins says I have to rest, so she made them leave. My mommy was _not _happy."

"I bet she wasn't" He said as he examined her incision cite. "Looks like it's healing nicely" He commented before placing a new gauze pad over the top.

"Does that mean I can go home?" She asked hopefully, piercing him with her bright, blue eyes.

"No, I'm afraid not. I'm sorry."

"It's so boring here. They won't let me go into the playroom yet."

"That's because they don't want to risk you getting an infection." He explained. "But, judging by the look of your stitches, I bet you can go play tomorrow."

"Really?" She exclaimed.

"I'm not making any promises. I'll talk to Dr. Robbins, but only if you try extra hard to get lots of rest today."

She nodded with a smile and disappeared into the sheets of her hospital bed. Alex finished gathering the scattered medical supplies, made a few notes concerning her recovery, and made his way towards the door as Kelly began to doze off.

"Dr. Alex?" She said sleepily.

"Yeah?" He asked turning around.

"You're a good doctor."

He smiled, lingering in the doorway. "Get some sleep, pal."

* * *

><p>Amber sat in the passenger seat of the car, happily gazing at the white iPhone in her hand.<p>

"I've never had a phone before." She said in amazement. Alex chuckled, savoring the moment where she was actually happy with him. He wanted to make it last considering he would have to play the tough guy when they talked about the stunt she had pulled earlier. "Mom never saved enough money to buy me one. If she did, she spent it on drugs or beer for her boyfriend or…" She stopped talking and quickly shook the thought out of her head. "Sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry, Amber." He pulled into the driveway and put the car in park so he could look at his sister. "You can talk about her you know…it's ok to be angry with her. It's ok to be angry about all of this."

"Is it ok to be angry with you?" She asked, meeting his eyes. He stared intently at his little sister. She looked so young, but at the same time, so tired. As much as she tried to put up a front, she couldn't always hide that the years without Alex had taken a toll on her. And what she said wasn't a snide comment, it was an actual question. She wanted to know if she had a legitimate right to be upset with him.

"Yes and no." He began. Normally Amber would have looked away by now. She had always found her brother intimidating, but not this time. His voice was gentle…comforting. "You can be angry at me for leaving. I promised I would always take care of you and Aaron, and I let you down."

Amber waited, sensing there was a 'but' coming.

"But you can't be angry at me for being here this time. You can't be angry at me for trying to look after you now. The way it, this is a second chance…for both of us."

She stared at him for a moment longer before finally nodding. With that, Alex unbuckled his seatbelt and slowly stepped out of the car, Amber did the same.

"Thanks for the phone." She said as she shut her door.

"Now you don't have an excuse not to call me. So if you're ever late like that again…."

"I know, I know." She replied.

"Good. I'm glad we have an understanding."

* * *

><p>"<em>Leave me alone you bastard!" His mom's voice echoed through the empty hallways of their house. He shuddered as he heard a loud crash followed by pleading from his mother, begging their father to stop hitting her. There was once a small period of time where his dad would disappear for days at a time, providing his family with the chance to heal. Lately though, he had been returning home every night to knock her around. <em>

"_Alex!" A voice cried from the room behind him. He ran in, shutting the door and locking it. Aaron sat on the bed, his back against the wall, clutching a pillow tightly to his chest._

"_Where is she?" Alex asked frantically, praying that his little sister hadn't left the room. There was no telling what his father would do if she got in the way. He had made that mistake more than once. Aaron lifted a shaking arm and pointed to the closet. Alex threw the closet door open and picked up the trembling child from the floor. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on for dear life. _

"_It's okay, baby." He soothed, wishing he could block out the sounds of their father and mother fighting. _

"_He's hurting her again, isn't he?" She asked quietly, pulling back to look him in the eyes. _

_Alex knew he couldn't lie to her. The proof would be on his mother's face later that night when their father finally stumbled back to the bar. He touched the side of Amber's face gently. Her cheeks were wet with tears, her eyes red. Alex nodded, knowing there was nothing in the world that could make this moment better. Amber sniffed and buried her face into her brother's shoulder. It was the only place she felt safe anymore. _

"_I've got you." He assured her, sitting on the bed next to his brother as he held her close. He took his one free arm and pulled Aaron against him, holding them in a protective embrace as tightly as he could until he heard the back door slam."I'll never let anything happen to you." _

"Alex!" Derek shook his arm slightly harder the second time. "Smoke is coming out of the oven."

"Son of a bitch." Alex mumbled as he opened the oven door, vigorously fanning smoke away from his face. He frowned at the sight of the completely blackened chicken when the smoke subsided. "Guess we're having cereal."

"I've never seen someone space out that bad." Derek teased as the smoke alarm began to beep. He grabbed a pot holder and began to wave it underneath the detector until the noise stopped.

It had been a while since Alex had thought about his childhood. He had done everything in his power to completely block it from his memory. However, ever since Amber had come around, it was becoming much more difficult to do so.

* * *

><p>"This is one of the best meals you've cooked." Amber teased in between spoonfuls of Captain Crunch.<p>

"You're so funny." He said mockingly.

They sat in silence for a while before Alex attempted small talk. "How's school going?"

"Pretty good, but there's a lot more work here than there was at my old school." She took another bit and finished chewing before continuing. "Oh, I almost forgot! I was running a soccer scrimmage with a group of guys during gym today and the girl's varsity coach saw me. He told me to stop by practice on Friday and he would see if I fit in with the team."

"That's great, Amber!" He said happily. "It's a good way to make friends."

"So, I can do it?"

"Of course you can."

She returned her attention to her cereal, smiling happily at the prospect of joining the soccer team. When she finished eating she rinsed her bowl out in the sink and attempted to make a break for her room. "Goodnight!" She called, speeding up her footsteps.

"Not so fast." Alex said. Amber froze and turned around. "Take a seat." He gestured to the spot across from him. She looked around before reluctantly making her way back to the table.

"You know we have to talk." He said.

"Not necessarily." She chimed in hopefully.

"Amber." He warned. She pressed her lips together and slid down into her seat, waiting for him to proceed. He didn't say anything.

"How much trouble am I in?" She asked when she could no longer stand the silence. There was a hint of her usual attitude returning in her voice. Alex sighed. _Not this again._

"Well, I've been thinking." He began, placing his hands together. "For the next week, you need to give me your phone at 4:00 every day. I'll give it to you in the morning to take to school, but only so you can call me if there is a problem. I'm not activating your texting until the week is up."

"Alex." She groaned. "Come on, I just got it!"

"Sorry kiddo, that's the way it is."

"This is really unfair." She said, folding her arms.

He held out his hand. "Hand it over."

She didn't budge. He raised his eyebrows. "Or you can be grounded, I don't care either way."

"Alright, alright." She gave in with a sigh, placing the phone in his hand.

"Thank you." He said.

She sat in the chair across from him without a word, shuffling her feet against the tile floor. "Are you still mad at me?" She asked after a moment.

"Amber," He said gently, shaking his head, "I'm not mad at you, I never was."

She looked up at him, but didn't offer anything further.

"You scared the hell out of me, there's a difference."

"I really am sorry." She offered, her eyes large and filled with emotion.

"And I forgive you." He said sincerely. "Go on, go get ready for bed."

She stood up slowly. "Goodnight, Alex."

"Goodnight, Amber. I love you."

She nodded softly before turning towards the doorway and beginning her walk down the hall. Alex leaned back in his chair and exhaled with relief, knowing that he had made progress that day. He knew Amber wasn't ready to let her guard down completely around him. She might never be ready, but at least she knew that he cared. At least she knew that he loved her. And maybe, _just maybe_, she would love him back one day.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you liked it! Please review! xxMaddie<strong>


	6. Sleep Well

**Hey everyone! Once again, thank you so much for all of the positive feedback. I have such loyal readers and reviewers. You all inspire me to be a better writer! Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it very much!**

* * *

><p><em>Amber pushed open the rusty gate, shuddering at the metallic shriek that accompanied. The gate was practically hanging off of its hinges at this point, leading to a front yard engulfed in untended weeds so high that you could barely locate the first step. <em>

_She jiggled the door handle before bothering to dig through her bag to find her key; her mom rarely took the time to lock it anyways. As she suspected, the knob turned on the first try and she walked into her silent house, soccer cleats slung over her right shoulder. "Mom!" She shouted, glancing around for any sign of movement. No one answered, as usual. She walked into her bedroom and threw her duffle bag onto the hardwood floor next to her computer desk, allowing her soccer ball to escape and roll across the room. She glanced behind her cautiously, thinking she heard a noise. She was fairly certain that she was alone, she normally was. She didn't ask where her mother went, nor did she care. She was fine on her own. _

"_Hey kid." A gravelly voice said from the doorway. Amber flinched with surprise. Steve, her mother's newest project stood before her, beer bottle in hand. _

"_Hi." She said timidly. "Where's my mom?"_

"_She ain't here." _

"_Oh ok." Amber looked around nervously. She didn't want to be alone with him. A feeling of uneasiness slowly crept over her. "Well, I'm actually just on my way out. Tell her I'm sorry I missed her." Amber grabbed her book bag and pushed by Steve in the doorway. He grabbed her arm gently_

"_You don't need to go nowhere, honey." He slurred_

"_I really do." She assured him, panic rising in her voice. "I have a study group."_

_He gave her a gentle tug back into the room, stumbling in the process. "I feel like I haven't really had the chance to get to know you since I've been here."_

"_Well maybe you, my mom, and I can have dinner sometime. But right now I really need to go." She attempted to get past him again, but he blocked the doorway with his body._

"_You sure are a pretty little thing."He took a piece of her hair in his finger tips. _

_Amber turned her head to escape the strong scent of alcohol coming from his mouth with every word he said. He released her hair and proceeded to step closer. _

"_I just complimented you." _

"_Thank you." She managed to choke out, barely above a whisper._

_He took another step towards her, wrapping his hands around her small arms. She tried to pull away, but his grip was far too tight. Without warning, he pushed her towards her bed forcefully, causing her to fall backwards into her sheets. He climbed on top of her. _

"_Get off of me!" She shouted, trying with all of her might to fight him off. She landed a sharp kick into his lower stomach. He grunted, but other than that, remained completely undisturbed._

"_Mom! Help!" She screamed as loud as she could, tears forming in her eyes._

"_Help." She whispered again, realizing no one was coming. _

"Get off me! Get off me! Let go of me!" Amber screamed repeatedly, her voice echoing through the house.

Jackson sprinted down the hallway and into Amber's room. He found her flailing on the floor, shouting at the top of her lungs. He ran to her side.

"Amber, wake up!" He said shaking her. "Come on baby, wake up!"

Amber shot up suddenly, gasping for air. She pulled away from Jackson reflexively, looking around in fear while attempting to get her bearings.

"It's just me. It's Jackson." He said, trying to pull her out of whatever dream-state she was trapped in.

"I thought you were…" She began to say before bursting into tears.

Jackson pulled her towards him and held her head against his chest, attempting to soothe her. "Shhhh." He said softly. "You we're dreaming."

"Where's Alex?" She choked out through her sobs.

"He's still out with Lexie." Jackson tightened his grip around her as he felt her trembling in his arms. "Come on." He said, pulling her off the floor gently and sitting her on her bed.

At that moment, Derek and Meredith bolted into the room. "What happened? Is everybody okay?" Derek asked frantically.

"It's ok, Amber just had a dream."

Derek and Meredith turned their attention to Amber who sitting on the edge of her bed shaking.

"What was it about, sweetie?" Meredith asked, sitting down next to her and wrapping her arms around her comfortingly. Amber allowed herself to sink into Meredith's embrace.

"I don't remember." She lied.

Amber sat in silence for a few minutes, feeling safe wrapped in somebody's arms. Derek stared at her, a worried expression plaguing his face. "I'm going to go make you some tea." Meredith finally said. She gave Amber a reassuring squeeze before standing up and exiting the room. Derek shared a momentary glance with Jackson before following his wife. Jackson sat down and put his hand on Amber's knee. She flinched slightly at his touch.

"Hey." He whispered, waiting for her to meet his eyes. "It's okay."

Another tear fell down her cheek as she nodded and returned her attention to her bedspread.

"I know you remember what it was about."

"Please don't make me talk about it." She whispered. "Please."

"Okay, it's alright. You don't have to. Why don't you lie back down?"

Amber turned on her bedside lamp and slid back underneath her covers. "Please don't leave me."

"I won't." He said. "I'm right here."

* * *

><p>"When you say you remember everything, do you mean seriously <em>everything<em>?" Alex asked, laughing as he took another sip of his beer.

"I mean that everything I have ever read is burned into my memory forever."

"I don't believe you!"

"Try me!" She retorted, placing her glass on the bar.

"The Declaration of Independence, go."

Without hesitation Lexie began to spout off. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Li-"

"Alright, alright. You got me." Alex said laughing. He looked up and caught her eyes, she was staring back at him with an intensity he couldn't quite decipher. His thoughts were disturbed as his phone began ringing. "It's Meredith again." He said glancing down at the screen.

"That's the second time in the past half hour. Maybe you should answer." Lexie reasoned.

"Nah," He said as he shoved his phone back into his pocket, "She probably just wants to make sure I'm not defiling her baby sister."

Lexie was caught off guard by the comment and began choking on her drink.

"Aww, I got you all choked up." Alex teased.

"Don't flatter yourself Karev."

Thirty minutes later they were standing on the patio in the backyard awkwardly, wondering whether they should go in just yet. It was well after 1:30 in the morning, they had easily lost track of time while talking.

"That was fun." Lexie offered after a long period of silence. "I needed that."

"Yeah, me too." He agreed, slowly edging closer to her.

"Guess we should go in…" She turned around as slowly as she could, wanting to see if Alex would stop her.

"Wait." He said, grabbing her wrist gently. He spun her around, grabbed both sides of her face softly, and pulled her into a deep kiss.

Lexie smiled as his lips fit into hers, allowing her hands to clasp together around the back of his neck. She pulled him closer, the chemistry between the two of them was almost too much to handle.

Alex fumbled for the doorknob to the house behind his back, not wanting to break his kiss with her. He pulled her in with him, their lips still locked together. They slammed into the wall in the kitchen, his hands on her hips.

Someone cleared their throat to the left of them. Lexie pulled away quickly, her eyes wide. Alex was about to ask her what was wrong before he realized that they were not alone in the kitchen.

"Sorry about that." Alex mumbled, his face turning red as he took a step away from Lexie. Meredith stared at the two of them in astonishment, but didn't say anything.

"What is everybody doing up?" Lexie asked, unable to withstand the tension any longer.

"It's Amber." Derek said.

"What?" Alex demanded. He was across the room and in front of Derek in a matter of seconds.

"She had some sort of night terror….or memory. She's pretty shaken up."

"I was just about to bring her this." Meredith said, holding out a blue mug, steam rising from the top of it. "Maybe you should take it, she was asking for you."

"She was asking for me?" He asked in disbelief.

"Repeatedly." Derek cut in.

"Wow…I guess I should go talk to her." Alex said, taking the mug from Meredith's hands.

He walked down the hallway as fast as he could without spilling the scalding liquid all over himself, silently cursing himself for staying out so late. What had he been doing? His sister needed him. He peaked in through her doorway to see her sitting up in bed, staring vacantly at the wall in front of her. Jackson sat close by.

"Hey kiddo." Alex said, walking into the room. Jackson stood up and gave Alex a slight nod before leaving the two of them to talk alone.

Alex set the cup of tea on her nightstand and sat down next to her.

"What happened?" He asked gently.

"I just had a dream. I'm ok now." She said, taking care not to look him directly in the eyes.

"You don't look ok."

She shifted her weight and adjusted one of her pillows, but remained silent.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" He asked.

"No." She replied abruptly.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. She jumped back quickly. "Sorry." She said, realizing he was attempting a comforting gesture.

"It was about home wasn't it?" He asked, tilting her chin up to look at him.

"Maybe." She mumbled.

"About mom?"

"I said I didn't want to talk about it!" She yelled suddenly.

Alex sat silently for a moment. He knew he shouldn't push her, but it was obvious she was terrified.

"During medical school, I used to wake up the same way." He began. She looked up timidly. "I would have these vivid dreams where I was a kid again. Dad would be beating up on mom and no matter how hard I tried I was never strong enough to help her. I would wake up screaming for him to leave her alone. It scared the shit out of my roommates."

Tears began to fall steadily down her face again. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out whatever images remained in her head.

"Tonight…it was just so real." She said.

"I know it was." He replied, wiping a stray tear away from under her eye. "But you know things aren't going to get completely better until you talk to someone."

"Look, I've been trying my hardest to forget what happened to me, and for a while it's been working. Talking to somebody is just going to bring it all back again."

"It might seem like that now, but that's not really how it works. Things always have a way of coming back to you…." He let his voice trail off for a moment, lost in thought. He shook his head and continued. "They say time heals all wounds, but that's only true if you put in a little work."

"I'm not ready." She whispered, tears slowly forming again.

He pulled her against his chest and stroked her hair. "Shhhhh." He comforted. "It's over now."

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" She asked, he face still pressed against his torso.

"Of course."

She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes before sinking into her pillow and wrapping her blanket tightly around her shoulders, trying to block out the world. Alex ran his fingers through her hair gently until he heard her breathing turn rhythmic. He stood up slowly, not wanting the movement to jostle her awake. He left her bedside light on in case she woke up again and quietly shut the door behind him.

* * *

><p>"You aren't seriously suggesting she has PTSD?" Alex argued as he increased his pace to keep up with Owen. He rubbed his eyes, still not entirely awake. It was 4:30 in the morning on a Sunday. He had spent all of Friday night sitting up and worrying about Amber, and all of last night on call, still worrying about Amber.<p>

"I'm saying it's a possibility, Karev. It might be a very minor case, but she went through a lot. She's still just a kid."

"I just don't know how to help her, Hunt. God knows I don't want her to end up like me."

"Oh yeah?" Owen said, stopping in his tracks and turning to face Alex. "What's that like?"

Alex shrugged. "Angry, cold, distant….." He stumbled over his words, wondering why he was admitting all of this. "I mean, I beat the crap out of my old man, never saw him again, but that didn't undo all the things he made me see. I thought I would feel vindicated, but it didn't help at all. I still woke up in the middle of the night screaming for him to stop."

"Alex." Owen said, his tone lowering slightly. "You care about your sister more than anything. Anyone can see that. And if it turns out she does have PTSD, you'll do everything in your power to help her through it. That doesn't sound like an angry, cold, distant person to me. You're intelligent, you're talented, you're dedicated. Amber could do a lot worse than ending up like you." With that having been said, Owen turned on his heels and continued his walk to the back entrance.

Alex could hear sirens approaching as soon as they stepped out the door. He felt the familiar rush of adrenaline that he always got while waiting for an ambulance to arrive.

The ambulance pulled in a few moments later and multiple EMTs jumped out of the back, rolling out a young woman, covered in blood. "What have we got?" Owen shouted above the noise.

"Nineteen-year-old rape victim, multiple stab wounds to the torso and lacerations to the arms. She's been in and out of consciousness."

"Alright, let's move!" Owen commanded, taking hold of the gurney. Alex followed closely behind until an EMT grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Doctor, there's one more thing." He said, leaning in.

"What is it?" Alex asked, glancing behind his shoulder nervously, not wanting to miss any of the action.

"The girl claimed the ripped off the man's ear in self defense. So…keep an eye out. You might have another trauma patient soon."

Alex nodded and turned to run after Owen. He stifled a small laugh, experiencing a strong sense of déjà vu. He could vividly recall a similar case years ago that required Meredith to carry around another…_part_ of a rapist in a cooler all day for evidence.

He found Owen in trauma-room one, frantically attempting to control the bleeding on the multiple stab wounds.

"I don't know if she's going to be stable enough for abdominal stab wound exploration." Alex said as he tried to examine the depth of her cuts.

"What am I looking for?" Owen asked as he monitored the young girl's vitals closely.

"Signs of peritonitis." Alex responded without hesitation as he began to pack the wounds that were still oozing blood on the girls' arms.

"What else?"

"Evidence of evisceration."

"Correct." He said as he began attempting to slow the bleeding of the chest. "So what's your verdict?"

"It's too soon to really tell….." He let his voice trail off, not wanting to make a life or death decision that might affect his career.

"There is no "wait and see" in trauma, Alex." He urged.

"Well, if we take her to surgery and she dies, at least we did something" Alex argued over the chaos of the nurses scrambling around the room. "If we just stand here and wait, she's going to die anyways."

Owen paused for a moment. "Now you're thinking like a trauma surgeon." He said proudly before picking up the phone in the corner of the room. "Get me an O.R." He spoke clearly into the receiver.

Owen swept them down to the O.R. quickly, not wanting to jeopardize any precious time. Alex filed into surgery with a sizeable team, and took his place directly next to Owen to assist.

"Suction." Owen said to a nurse. "I need to see what I'm working with here."

The nurse swiftly cleared the wounds of excess blood to allow for better vision.

"Alex, I need to you to go ahead and take care of those cuts on her arms. We don't need her losing anymore blood than she already has." Owen said after a moment.

Alex nodded compliantly and began to remove the gauze that had been tightly packed from the elbow down on both arms. "Suture." He said, holding his hand over his shoulder.

Once provided with the appropriate tools, he began to stitch as quickly and as neatly as he could. Owen had always stressed that when dealing with a trauma patient, it wasn't about perfection, it was about survival. He could redo them later if necessary, but right now, he was focused on stopping the bleeding.

"We've got two anterior abdominal stab wounds that appear to have penetrated the peritoneal cavity." Owen said, seizing the opportunity for a learning experience as he worked. "What should I be doing, Karev?"

Alex hesitated for a moment, caught off guard by the sudden test of his surgical knowledge. "Um…" He stammered slightly. "Check for damage to the small bowel, the liver, and colon."

"Correct." He praised. The newfound calmness in his voice alerted Alex that he had not discovered any significant damage or complications. "Let's patch her up."

* * *

><p>Alex sat quietly in a chair at the end of the patient's bed, silently working on the pile of charts at his feet. He didn't want the young girl to wake up alone and panic. She was only a few years older than Amber, and it unsettled him deeply.<p>

The rapist had stumbled into the hospital shortly after they had taken the victim into the O.R. He had a ripped piece of his t-shirt tied around the side of his head to control the bleeding. Mark and Callie had been stuck with him. He now sat handcuffed to a bed down the hall with two police officers outside of the door.

Finally Alex heard her stir. As she opened her eyes she jumped slightly upon the realization that she did not know where she was.

"It's okay." Alex soothed, pushing himself to his feet. "I'm Dr. Alex Karev, you're in the hospital."

She swallowed and attempted to shift positions, but stopped after feeling the shooting pain up her chest. "I remember." She whispered. Her eyes were glassy, tear filled as she recalled the events of the day.

"What's your name?"

"Grace Ashlan." She replied, her voice gravely.

"You were found without any ID, so we didn't have any emergency contacts. Is there a family member you would like for us to call?

"My parents."

Alex walked closer to her bedside, contemplating whether he should go and find a female doctor. He assumed a rape victim might be slightly uncomfortable talking to a man. She seemed okay at the moment so he ignored the thought.

"The police are going to want to take a statement in a little while, if you can remember at all what happened."

"He came into my dorm." She said suddenly, her voice growing clearer. Alex looked down, not having expected her to speak so readily. He waited to see if she would continue.

"I woke up and he was on top of me…he had a knife." She choked out her words as tears slowly began to roll down her face. She looked so young. "I had been out partying until 3:00 in the morning. I had been drinking so much that I just climbed into bed…I kept the door unlocked for my roommate."

"It's okay." He tried to comfort her.

"I kept fighting him. I thought if he knew I wasn't weak, he might leave me alone." She wiped her hand across her eyes, attempting to stifle the steady flow of water, but it was no use. "But he didn't. He stabbed me twice and just kept going." Alex walked over to the sink and snatched up a box of tissues, handing it to her slowly as not to alarm her.

"I remembered reading that it only takes five pounds of force to pull off a human ear. So, I just grabbed and pulled. He was screaming so loud I was sure an RA would come. He stabbed me a few more times to get me to let go and when I did, his ear was in my hand. He left out the window, still screaming. I tried to stay awake to see where he went, but I passed out." She attempted to catch her breath, and all at once, she allowed herself to cave in. Her body began to rack with sobs and she winced as every movement stressed the bandages along her stomach.

Alex didn't know what else to do other than to stand there and wait as she cried.

"Shhhh." He finally said, kneeling down next to her. "It's over now."

* * *

><p>Alex had gone home shortly after the police took Grace's statement. It was early enough that nobody in the house was awake yet. He peaked into Amber's room. She was asleep, or was at least pretending to be. He dragged his feet down the hall to his own room and allowed himself to be taken over by the comfort of his bed.<p>

He awoke to voices in the kitchen after what seemed like only a few minutes later. He sat up in bed and glanced at the clock. It was well after 5:00 in the evening. He quickly yanked the covers off of his body and stumbled down the hallway to the kitchen.

"I don't know about that one Amber. You'll have to ask your brother when he wakes up." Jackson was saying when Alex emerged in the doorway.

"Ask me what?" He questioned as he made a bee line for the single-cup coffee maker.

"He lives!" Jackson exclaimed, following by a small chuckle from Amber.

"Why on Earth did you let me sleep so late?" Alex asked as he shut the top of the Keurig and waited for his coffee to brew.

"We heard you had a long night."

"That I did." Alex said. He retrieved his steaming beverage and turned to face Amber, who was sitting at the kitchen table with her anatomy book open in front of her. "You finish your homework?"

"Yeah, Jackson helped me." She replied.

"Good. So what did you want to ask me?"

"A couple of the girls from the soccer team want me to go out to dinner with them to celebrate. Can I?" She asked, throwing on her best smile.

He thought about it for a moment, noticing the bags that had formed under her eyes. Friday night had obviously not been the first time she had been having trouble sleeping. His first instinct was to tell her no, but he had a feeling that wouldn't exactly make her want to confide in him. "I guess you can." Alex finally responded. "But only dinner, it's a school night."

"Can I take my phone?" She asked hopefully

"Nice try." He laughed. "You won't need it if I'm dropping you off and picking you up an hour and a half later in the same place."

She sighed. "Actually, Alice said she would pick me up at 6:00….I sort of already told her that it was okay. She's a senior so she's had her license for a while."

He hesitated for a moment, feeling slightly overprotective after everything that had happened lately. "You told her she should come get you before you before you asked me?" He asked, throwing a disapproving glare at his younger sister.

"I'm sorry. I knew I wouldn't have a phone to text her if you said it was alright, so I gambled that you would say yes. Please? They're just trying to welcome me to the team."

He tried to maintain his serious expression, but finally sighed in defeat. "Alright, but don't make me regret this."

"I won't. Thank you!" She said, running off to her room to go change.

"You're letting her go out?" Jackson asked from the other side of the room."You know she hasn't slept in two days."

Alex sighed. "I know. Believe me, I don't want her out of my sight, but I figure that smothering her isn't going to help things either."

"That makes sense. Not to mention, I'm sure making some new friends couldn't hurt."

"I just wish I knew what was going on in her head."

"Alex, when I saw her Friday night…it scared the hell out of..." He cut himself off, swallowing nervously. "It was bad."

"I should have been there." Alex replied, shaking his head.

"You had no way of knowing that would happen. I mean, she's been here for two weeks now. This is the first time anything that happened to her at home has come up."

"Yeah, but I should have known it would. I'm her brother, that's my job."

"You can't blame yourself." Jackson said, his blue eyes locking with Alex's.

"I'll stop blaming myself when I know she's okay."

Jackson opened his mouth to say something else, but he was interrupted by the doorbell. "I'll take care of it." He said, getting to his feet and walking to the foyer. He opened the front door to reveal three teenage girls. They all seemed shocked at the sight of him.

"Um..is Amber here?" The oldest one asked nervously, glancing at the house number to make sure she had the right address.

"Yeah." He replied. "Amber!" He called down the hallway. She appeared in the hallway a few seconds later.

"Hey guys!" She called happily.

Alex emerged into the foyer and nodded politely at Amber's friends before turning his attention to his sister. He closed the gap between them so he could talk without the other girls hearing.

"Two hours." He said quietly as he slipped her iPhone into her hand, ten dollars folded on top of it. "Not a minute later."

"Thank you." She whispered, leaning in and placing a light kiss on his cheek. Before he could respond she quickly turned around and ran towards her friends. "Bye Jackson!" She called.

The door shut behind her and Alex watched through the window as she ran down the walkway happily with her new friends, eventually piling into a red jeep parked on the side of the road.

"Did she actually just show me affection?" Alex asked, turning around to face Jackson. "Or did I imagine that?"

"No, it happened." He replied laughing, before excusing himself to the kitchen to resume cooking.

Alex remained static in the foyer, still overcome with emotion from what had just happened.

* * *

><p>Amber returned at 7:59 on the dot. She walked in the back door, grinning from ear to ear.<p>

"Hey kid." Alex greeted from the sink where he was doing dishes. "Looks like you had fun."

"There are some really cool girls on my team." She replied happily as she walked over next to him. Without having to be asked, she pulled her cell phone out of her purse and held it out to Alex.

"Wow." He said, taking it and shoving it into the side pocket of his jeans. "I'm impressed."

Amber wordlessly grabbed a plate and placed put it into the dishwasher after Alex finished rinsing it. "I'm ready to talk now." She said, catching him off guard.

"Yeah?" He asked as he swirled steaming water around the inside of a pot, not knowing what else to say.

She placed a handful of silverware into the front of the washer. "Did Aaron ever tell you about mom's boyfriends?"

He hesitated for a moment. "He told me they were a bunch of perverted alcoholics. That's about it."

"He got the perverted part right." She mumbled.

"Is that what's been keeping you up at night?" He asked, glancing over at her.

"I keep dreaming about that night." She responded, keeping her attention solely on the dishes.

"The night the neighbors called the police?"

"Yes." She confirmed, jamming a bowl into the last open space on the upper rack. "Steve did things to me." She added quietly.

"I know." He sighed.

"He wasn't the first one either."

Alex took a deep breath. It was all he could do not to burst into tears right there in front of her. He couldn't bear the thought of something like what happened to Grace today happening to his baby sister. "I should have taken you away from there a long time ago." He finally said.

Amber didn't reply at first. She agreed with him in all honestly. Truth be told, she was still furious with him for leaving in the first place, but at the same time, she knew he was sincere. "You didn't know what was happening."

"I would have if I had ever bothered to check on you." He said, more to himself than to her. "I just carried on with my own life, simply sending you guys a check every month. I convinced myself that was all I needed to do." He blinked back a few tears and leaned his head down towards the sink to continue rinsing out dishes, praying Amber wouldn't notice.

"The money did help." She said softly. Alex was unsure if she was trying to convince him or herself. He shut off the sink and turned to face her. She looked up and met his stare.

"I can't change what I did before, but I swear to you, _nothing_ like that is ever going to happen to you again_. Ever_."

"I know." She replied.

Their conversation didn't last very long. Amber had said all that she could at the current moment. She supposed she would be ready to tell him more about what she had gone through after Aaron moved out eventually, but not quite yet. She had told him the truth about Friday night, and that was a good enough step for her.

Two hours later she sat in her bed, trying to focus on the copy of _The Crucible_ she was supposed to be reading for English. She heard a soft knock on her door. "Come in." She called.

Alex opened the door and walked in wearing a pair of sweat pants and a white tank top. "I think it's time you call it a night." He said, gently taking the book out of her hand and setting it on her nightstand. "You haven't been sleeping much."

Amber nodded in agreement and sunk into her covers. Alex pulled her blanket up to her shoulders. "Goodnight kiddo, I love you." He said as he turned off her lamp. "Sleep well."

"Yeah, I think I finally will." She responded with a smile before turning over and curling into a ball facing away from him.

He closed the door softly and turned towards his own room. "Yeah…" He whispered to himself. "So will I."

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know if there is anything in particular you would like to see happen soon! xxMaddie <strong>


	7. First Dates

**Before anything I want to give a special thanks to my most loyal reviewers: ****twin1 and AmyHale****. **

**When I first started this I honestly didn't know if I would even write a second chapter. Thanks to all of my readers and reviewers, my head has been buzzing with ideas and I don't plan on stopping!**

**Oh and I am aware how super fluffy this chapter is…but everybody seemed anxious for a little interaction among the housemates. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"Dr. Karev, what are the leading reasons for knee arthroscopy?" Callie asked, not taking her eyes off of the screen as she guided the camera effortlessly through a small incision.<p>

"Inflamed synovial tissue, and torn meniscal or articular cartilage." He replied, closely watching the projected images. He was not a big fan of orthopedic surgery, but Callie was a good friend of his and he wanted to at least _sound_ like he cared.

"And what do these images tell us the problem is?"

"It looks like a torn anterior cruciate ligament." He replied.

"I agree. We are going to need to trim the torn pieces of cartilage and remove the loose fragments of bone. And should I use lasers or scissors?"

"I don't think the damage is severe enough for lasers."

"Good job." She said with a smile. She passed the scissors to Karev and monitored his work closely. The procedure was short, lasting a little bit over thirty minutes. When the job was finished, Callie attempted to make small talk while he stitched up the incision site. "How are things at home?" She asked.

"Hot and cold." He replied without looking up.

"That tends to result from having a teenager in the house."

"No kidding." He said with a small chuckle. "How are you and Arizona?"

"Great." She said with a smile. "And you and Lexie?"

"What makes you think I am with Lexie?"

"Oh come on Alex, give me some credit." She scoffed. "I'm a girl. Believe me, I'm not the only one who can tell you two are sleeping together."

"Well we aren't." He mumbled. "At least not yet."

"You act like you haven't already done it before."

"You don't know that."

"Alex you forget that _I've _slept with you. I know how you act around girls you are having sex with."

"Okay fine. She and I have had sex before, and I would very much like to do it again, so please don't advertise the fact that you and I did anything."

"As humorous as I think it would be to watch Arizona slowly ruin your career, I don't think I'll advertise this one."

"Thanks." He said with a smirk. "The last thing I need is for Amber to find out what a man whore I am." Alex shifted positions uncomfortably. He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket and was not pleased with the distraction.

"True, you wouldn't want to lead by example." Callie teased.

"I will set up an arranged marriage for her before I let that happen."

The two laughed, forcing Alex to pause his work to avoid messing up on his stitches.

"So is Amber okay with it?" She asked after a minute. "I mean, I know she and Lexie are pretty tight."

"I'm not sure if she knows…but I don't really think she would care." He paused for a moment. "Do you?"

"She just wants to feel like she has a woman to confide in. As long as you don't use your relationship with Lexie against her, I'm sure it will be fine."

"You think I would use Lexie as a spy?" He asked in shock.

"Of course that's what I think. You're you!"

"Oh I know. I was just going to thank you for the idea." He replied with a smirk.

"I would hit you right now if you weren't inserting a needle into my patient's skin."

"Oh no…" He said, taking care to sound unimpressed.

Callie let out a loud laugh, watching as Alex cut the remaining string off of the final stitch. "Alright, let's transfer him to recovery." She said. "You did good work today."

* * *

><p>XXXXXXX<p>

Amber sat on the bus, anxiously waiting for it to reach her destination. She had a lot of studying to do and wanted to hurry up and get to the hospital to finish before her brother got out of surgery. She hoped Lexie or Jackson would help her, but she could never keep track of who was working and who wasn't.

"Hey stranger." A familiar voice said, plopping down into the seat next to her.

"Caleb?" She asked with a smile. "What are you doing here?"

"It's a public bus." He retorted.

"I know, but you have a car."

"I just wanted to make sure you got my note." He said, taking a hand and pushing his sandy-blonde bangs out of his eyes.

"So you left your car at school to stalk me?" She mocked.

"The bus will double back. I doubt anything will happen to it while I'm gone."

She turned to face the window to keep from blushing. She couldn't believe a boy would go through so much trouble to speak with her. "I got your note." She replied coolly. "Alex would murder me if I got caught texting in class, so I was waiting until school got out to reply."

"Well, school is out." He said with a half smile.

Amber smirked and pulled out her phone. She shifted positions towards the window, as if trying to be secretive. She slowly typed in the word "Yes" and sent it to him.

A muffled ding sounded from inside his pocket. He pulled out his phone and unlocked it to reveal the single word across the screen.

"Very smooth." He commented.

"This is my stop." She said as they pulled up to the bus stop across from the entrance to the hospital.

"Well then..." He began, standing up so she could slide by. "I'll see you Friday at 7:00."

"I guess you will."

* * *

><p>XXXXXXX<p>

"Please let me stop!" Amber groaned, shoving her text book across the table and burying her face in her hands. She had found Lexie shortly after arriving and had been studying nonstop since.

"You have a test tomorrow." Lexie argued from the chair opposite of her. She pushed the anatomy book back towards her. "One you told your brother that you were ready for." She raised one eyebrow, calling the young teen's bluff.

"So I exaggerated slightly." Amber mumbled, her face still hidden.

"Alright, what part are you still having trouble with?"

"The carpal wrist. The bones are just so weird sounding." She said, finally removing her hands from her face.

"Oh that's easy!" Lexie with a laugh, ignoring the glare she received across the table. "I mean there's an easy way to remember them."

"Coming from the girl with a photographic memory." Amber replied condescendingly, clearly not buying a word she said.

"Anybody can use a mnemonic device." Lexie coaxed.

"Alright let's have it then, girl-wonder."

"Stupid Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle." She said plainly. Amber gave Lexie a puzzled look in return. She held up her hand and began to point in the direction of the bones, starting from her thumb. "Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetrum, Pisiform, Trapezium, Trapezoid, Capitate, and Hamate."

A look of realization quickly spread across Amber's face. "That's kind of funny." She said with a slight smile, pulling her text book back towards her.

"You didn't think I got through medical school purely on my good looks and charm, did you?"

"I did not think that _at all_." She said mockingly.

"Ouch!" Lexie exclaimed, placing a hand over her heart. Amber laughed quietly and picked up her pencil to practice writing down the names of the bones.

Alex poked his head into the longue. "Oh….hi Lexie." He said awkwardly. "I was just coming to check on Amber, but it looks like you've got things taken care of."

"Yeah, I was just helping her with her….homework." Lexie replied with equal awkwardness. Amber looked between the two of them, trying to figure out the source of the tension in the room.

"I appreciate that…I guess I'll get back to work." He said, sliding out through the door as if he couldn't get away fast enough.

"What the hell was that?" Amber inquired as soon as she heard the door slam.

"What?" Lexie looked up innocently.

"Oh my god…." Amber said in disbelief. "You had sex?" She whispered.

"Amber!" Lexie exclaimed, giggling in embarrassment.

"You so did!"

"I am not having this conversation with you!"

"Why not? We're friends!" Amber argued, throwing her pencil down to give Lexie her full attention.

"Yes." Lexie admitted with a sigh. "We have had sex before…but not recently. I mean, things got heated the other night and then ended abruptly, so it's a little awkward now."

"Why did it end abruptly?" Amber asked.

"Um…." Lexie stammered. There was no way she was going to admit that it was because Amber had woken up screaming from a night terror. Things had been better lately and the last thing she wanted to do was make her feel worse about that night than she already did.

"Did 'stupid lovers try positions that they can't handle'?" Amber asked with a grin, clearly proud of her own wit.

Lexie burst out laughing. "Something like that."

Amber began to make flash cards and Lexie excused herself from the break room to find Alex. She was expecting Amber to be angry with her for being romantically involved with her older brother, but surprisingly, she wasn't. With the fear of losing her friend having been dismissed, Lexie was determined to go set the stubborn surgeon straight. She hadn't wanted things to be weird between them, but the way he had been acting lately made it difficult to interact. She caught sight of him in the hallway near the pediatrics wing. She quickly grabbed the sleeve of his scrubs and yanked him into a nearby on-call room.

"Alright Karev, what gives?" She demanded as soon as the door shut behind her.

"I didn't do it." He said defensively, raising his hands in the air.

"You know what I mean!" She blurted out. "Ever since we went out last week, you have been doing everything in your power to avoid me."

"I haven't been avoiding you." He said defensively.

"Can we both be adults about this?"

Alex didn't answer. Instead he stared at her vacantly, searching for any kind of excuse he could formulate.

"I knew you wouldn't take this seriously." Lexie said before turning away. She had the door opened a crack before Alex put his hand out to slam it shut again.

"You want to be adults?" He said rather aggressively. "Alright, well here it is. I have done nothing but try to earn my sister's respect, and I am still the only person in the house that she has yet to form some kind of relationship with. She's closest with you and Meredith….if she found out that I was…." He let his voice trail off, knowing that Lexie had most likely gotten the point.

"Alex." Lexie said softly. "She kind of knows…"

"What?" He shouted. "What is the matter with you?"

"She's not angry! I was worried about the same thing as you! I didn't want to mess up the bond I've formed with her."

"Wait…she wasn't mad? She didn't say anything about how I'm out to ruin her life or some derivative of that? Call me Dr. Evil Spawn? Anything?"

"No, she didn't act angry in the slightest. She was a little bit shocked, but she was completely fine."

Alex rubbed the back of his head nervously. With this information having been revealed, he had absolutely no idea what his next move should be. "And you are positive that she wasn't just acting?" He asked slowly, considering each word.

"Alex, have you ever known Amber to hide her feelings when she is pissed at you?"

"You make a compelling argument." He joked. There was a slight hint of flirtation to his voice now. It was as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He no longer had to suppress his feelings for Lexie at the fear of losing what mattered most to him, Amber. "You really do care about my sister, don't you?"

"Well yeah, of course I do." She replied. "She's such a strong kid. And, I mean...I'm just 'Little Grey' around here. I finally have the chance to look out for someone, not just everyone else looking out for me."

"I couldn't believe how fast she warmed up to you…but I'm glad she did. I don't have to worry about her as much when I know you're looking out for her too."

"Everyone is looking out for her, Alex." She locked eyes with him and took a step closer. "That's what happens when you care about someone. The things that are important to them become important to you too. You don't have to carry all of the weight by yourself anymore."

Alex could not muster up any words that he deemed appropriate to say in return. He was completely overwhelmed with just how thankful he was to have these people in his life, even if he didn't know how to show it. He wasn't a touchy feely type of guy, he worked very hard to maintain his tough exterior, but it didn't mean that he went without emotion. He felt more than most people gave him credit for. "Thank you." He managed to sputter out.

"So, what happens now?" She asked, suddenly feeling shy.

He leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. It wasn't a lustful kiss. It was gentle and appreciative. "How about I take you on a real date?" He said after pulling away. "Saturday night?"

* * *

><p>XXXXXXX<p>

Everyone in the house apart from Jackson and Meredith were on call that night. Amber enjoyed the crowded nature of the house, but sometimes it was relaxing to have an evening with just a few other people. The three of them had ordered pizza and then Jackson had quizzed her on the various bones of the human body for an hour straight. Now, Amber sat in the living room, watching an old rerun of "Say Yes to the Dress" with Meredith.

Amber muted the television suddenly. "Meredith, do you think my brother is too overprotective? She asked.

"No, I think he is just the right amount of crazy." Meredith replied with a sly smile.

Amber laughed heartily. "I mean, do you think there is any chance he would let me…." She stopped for a moment. "Never mind."

"No, what is it sweetie? You can ask me anything." Meredith said, shifting positions to face Amber.

"I want to go on a date…"

A large grin crept across Meredith's face. She slapped Amber's arm playfully. "Details, details!"

"Well he's a soccer player. He's a year older than me and he is really cute." She began, a smile creeping across her face. "He sits next to me in calculus. And he's really smart, but he doesn't try to hide it the way most jocks do."

"Does lover boy have a name?" Meredith asked.

Amber hesitated slightly. "Caleb."

"Oh…" Meredith replied in realization. "Is this by any chance the same Caleb that got you in trouble with Alex last week?"

"He didn't mean to." Amber defended. "It was my fault. I got in the car with him after Alex said I couldn't. He was just being nice."

"You like this boy a lot, huh?"

"I didn't know I did at first." She replied. "But we've been flirting so much lately. Then this morning he left me a note in my locker….and…okay, so I'm a sucker for clichés."

"That would have won me over too." Meredith admitted. "But you're still afraid Alex won't want you to date him?"

"Big time."

"Well, my dear." Meredith said with a mischievous grin. "I've got your back."

Amber smiled with appreciation. Her mother had checked out mentally long before the drug addiction started. Schizophrenia snatched her mother away from her like a thief in the night, without warning and when she was far too young to understand. She had never been able to trust any female authority figure, nor did she want to. Her experiences all suggested that it would end in disappointment or betrayal. In fact, that was the way it tended to turn out with people in general. However, there was something different about the people in this house, especially the women. There were all just so…_real_. None of them were perfect, and none of them pretended to be. Their imperfections were exactly what made Amber feel like she could trust them. They were similar to her in that way, they were regular people working everyday to find their place in the world.

* * *

><p>XXXXXXX<p>

The next day played out at a rapid pace. School, which usually seemed to drag on for an eternity, flew by at the speed of light. For once, Amber had wished that things could slow down. She had sat up late scheming with Meredith, discussing the techniques of manipulation until Jackson eventually came in and ordered her to get some sleep. Afternoon had come quickly, and the moment of truth had finally arrived.

Amber approached the main wing of the hospital, her stomach turning circles with every step she took. Meredith was in tow, staying within sight in case she felt the need to intervene. It was Friday afternoon; she had less than three hours to convince Alex to allow her to go out with Caleb. Lexie had told her that Alex had assisted on a pediatric surgery that morning and was in a terrific mood. Amber clutched the A+ she had received on her biology test tightly in her hand. 'Butter him up first. Give him good news' was the advice that Meredith had given her last night. Alex appeared through the set of double doors. Amber's heart skipped a beat.

"Hi Alex!" She called cheerfully.

He did a double take, knowing that his sister was never this happy to see him. His first instinct was that she was in trouble. He hoped that wasn't the case, but it did seem to be the most probable.

"Hey kiddo." He said cautiously. "How was school?"

"Great!" She said, a large smile plastered on her face. "My anatomy test went really well. Oh, and look! I got my calculus test back!" She thrust the sheet of paper in front of his face.

"Amber, that's fantastic!" He praised, flipping the sheet over, checking every inch to make sure it was legitimate.

"Yeah, Caleb _really_ helped me a lot."

Alex looked back up at her, contemplating her happy demeanor. "You're kind of freaking me out, kid."

"Can't a girl be happy to see her eldest brother?"

"What do you want?" He finally asked. "And what is it going to cost me?"

"This is not about money!" She proclaimed.

"Did you get arrested?"

"No."

"Suspended?"

"No."

"Pregnant?"

"Alex!"

"Alright, alright." He laughed. "What is it?"

"Can I please, please, please, pretty please, go on a date tonight?"

Alex's pupils became huge. "A date?" He asked, dumfounded.

"Yes." She replied casually.

"Let me guess…Caleb?"

"Perhaps."

"Amber…I don't know…" He began.

"Please Alex! He just wants to go to dinner and a movie. They're both at that shopping center that's like…five minutes from the house."

He thought about it for a moment. "He's not driving you."

"I'll take her!" Meredith shouted from the nurses' station where she had been pretending to look over patient charts.

"Is this your first date?" He asked after a moment, one that seemed like an eternity to Amber.

After glancing around to make sure they didn't have an audience, she nodded softly. "I was always the freak with the crazy mother in high school." She mumbled. "Not exactly in high demand on the dating market."

He sighed. "Okay, you can go."

"Really?" She exclaimed! She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Once she let go, she turned around and ran straight to Meredith. The two grabbed each other's arms and jumped around squealing like two sorority sisters. Alex threw a playful glare in Meredith's direction. She purposely ignored it and continued celebrating with her young friend.

* * *

><p>XXXXXXX<p>

Amber walked slowly towards the kitchen that evening, silently praying that Alex would not have any arguments about her appearance. Meredith and Lexie had curled her hair, something she hadn't had done in years. Her mother used to curl it for her for church when she was younger, but those days had long since faded away. She hoped the shock of her hair would draw some attention away from the maturity of her outfit when facing the guys. She tugged at the hem of her jean-skirt, attempting to make it look slightly longer. She lingered with one foot in the kitchen, not wanting to reveal herself completely. Alex, Jackson, and Derek were chatting aimlessly around the center island. A hush quickly fell over the room as they spotted her.

Alex nearly gasped upon seeing his baby sister in the doorway. Her brunette hair glimmered in the light of the kitchen, falling around her face in loose ringlets. She was wearing a form-fitting, black top that hung off of one shoulder. It was a bit too flattering for his taste, but he couldn't find the words to protest.

"Hi." She said nervously. She shifted her attention downward and began to adjust the straps on one of her black wedges.

"You…um…you.." Alex stammered, hating how grown up she looked. He was suddenly overcome with emotion, realizing that the days of pigtails and overalls were long gone.

"Please don't make me change." She pleaded, looking up at him, her eyes dusted with an array of smoky colors neatly blended together.

"You look very grown up." He choked out. Amber smiled at him sweetly, hoping that was his awkward way of offering a brother's blessing.

"Take a seat." Derek said suddenly from behind Alex.

"Am I being interrogated?" She asked as she plopped down into a wooden chair next to the kitchen table.

"We just want to talk." Jackson assured her. "No interrogation tactics necessary….if you cooperate."

Amber laughed. "Okay, shoot."

"No making out." Derek stated plainly. "It leads to other things."

"In fact, just refrain from kissing entirely." Alex added.

"Hand holding too while you're at it." Jackson tacked on.

"Don't even let him touch you. He's probably up to no good…." Alex continued.

"Why don't you just put me in a nunnery?" Amber cut in sourly.

"I wasn't informed that was an option, but if it is, I really think we ought to explore it." Jackson said turning to Alex who nodded in agreement.

"Would you three leave her alone?" Meredith scolded as she walked into the kitchen. She stopped to get a good look at Amber. "You look stunning, sweetheart."

"Too stunning if you ask me." Alex mumbled.

"Good thing we didn't ask you." Meredith shot back. Alex made a face, but took the hint and backed off slightly. "So, Caleb's brother is going to drop you off after your date?" She verified.

"Yes." Amber responded.

"At eleven." Alex stated, a menacing tone lingering in his voice.

"Yes at eleven."

"Are you ready to go?" Meredith asked.

Amber nodded eagerly. She had never properly understood the term 'butterflies in your stomach' until this point. A fluttering motion was slowly making its way from her midriff up to her throat. She turned to face her brother.

"Have fun." Alex said with a half-genuine smile. He was doing his very best to maintain composure. After all, he had promised himself that he would refrain from becoming the cliché, emotional parent.

Alex shook his head, shocked for a minute at his own thoughts. _Parent?_ He silently questioned. _Is that what I am now?_ As he watched her walk towards the back door next to Meredith, he knew that it was undeniable…he did think of her as his child. And why shouldn't he? While his mother was fighting a war with her own mind, he quickly became the most important influence in his sibling's lives. He was the one in the front row of every ballet recital, every gymnastics competition, every swim meet. He had been a parent since the day his mother gave up the battle with her illness. Amber was in every way, his.

"You alright?" Jackson's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah man, it's just a date." Alex stated, doing his best to put up a front of someone who didn't care.

"We're still going to kill him if anything goes wrong though, right?" Jackson inquired.

"Oh, hell yeah."

* * *

><p>XXXXXXX<p>

"Is it too early for me to ask for a second date?" Caleb asked as he shifted positions. He stood outside on the back porch with Amber at the end of their date, although he was fairly certain they were being watched. His brother had told him he would wait in the driveway 'as long as needed,' but he couldn't decide if it was too soon to make a move or not.

"I'd like that." Amber replied shyly. She was thankful for the cover of darkness, knowing she could never keep from blushing with mere self control.

They stood in silence, too afraid to look at one another, but not ready to say goodnight either. Amber glanced behind her shoulder, knowing there were three men watching her every move somewhere.

"If you're going to kiss me…" Amber said softly, barely moving her lips. "You should hurry up and do it, because I can guarantee my brother and his merry-men are watching."

A secretive, half smile quickly spread across his face, revealing a set of dimples. "Then I guess I better make this fast." Caleb said as smoothly as he could. He leaned in and allowed his lips to make contact with hers. A set of wind-chimes began to collide behind them as a gentle breeze rolled in. Amber felt a layer of goose bumps form on her skin, not knowing whether they were from the wind…or him.

It took every ounce of will power she had to finally pull her face away from his. "Thanks for the date." She whispered, their fingers still laced together. He squeezed her hand affectionately before she turned away reluctantly and walked in the back door.

Amber stood facing the door for a few seconds after she shut it, lost in a dream state. She spun around, knowing she would inevitably be facing the motley crew who most likely saw the whole thing.

As suspected, three men stared back at her, exchanging glances among one another.

"I take it you had a good time?" Alex asked.

"Yes."

"Did you just-" Jackson began.

"Where's Meredith?" Amber cut him off.

"She's upstairs reading I think." Derek said.

Amber nodded and quickly scurried out of the room, making a direct path for the stairs. She kicked off her wedges by the front door in the foyer before grabbing hold of the banister and running up to the second floor. She knocked on the open door that led to Meredith and Derek's room.

Meredith looked up from the book she was reading it. She quickly slammed it shut and threw it onto her nightstand. She then patted the spot next to her with a smile. Amber grinned and jumped onto the bed.

"Tell me _all_ about it!" Meredith commanded. "Oh wait a second! Lexie, get down here!" She shouted, her chin tilted up towards the ceiling. They two of them waited in silence as they heard Lexie clunking down the steps that led to the attic. She didn't waste any time before diving into the bed with Meredith and Amber.

"Let's hear it." Lexie said as soon as she was settled.

"He kissed me!" Amber squealed.

"On the first date!" Lexie replied with excitement. "That's bold." She said turning to her older sister.

"So bold." Meredith agreed.

"I may have prompted him slightly…" Amber admitted. The two looked up at her in astonishment.

"You little scandal you!" Lexie teased.

"Says the woman who 'kissed' my brother!"

"Oh, she's good." Meredith teased.

"Who is kissing who?" Derek asked as he walked into the room.

"Derek!" Meredith protested. "Girl talk!"

"I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to get my own pajamas." He mocked. "I'm terribly sorry."

"Apology accepted, now get out." She replied.

"Why do I put up with this kind of abuse?"

"Because you love me!" She called after him as he headed back down the stairs.

"So tell me…" Lexie began once they had the room to themselves. "Did he do the classic yawn-and-put-his-arm-around-you bit?"

"Yes!" She admitted, causing the three of them to collapse in a fit of laughter.

"Every teenage boy does that at some time or another. It's like a rite of passage." Meredith added.

"He took forever! I kept waiting for him to do _something_, but he was so nervous! It was half-way through the movie before he finally got up the courage to bust a move."

"That is such a typical man!" Lexie complained. "They act all confident beforehand, but once you get them on a date, they are hopeless."

"But he was so sweet. He opened doors for me and pulled out my chair."

"That is so adorable!" Lexie squealed.

"So tell me, was that your first kiss?" Meredith asked.

Amber's face immediately drained itself of all color. "Um, yes." She replied a little too fast. Lexie and Meredith shared concerned glances, both knowing that she was lying, but not sure why.

"Is everything alright?" Meredith voiced her concern.

"Oh, yeah." Amber replied superficially. "I'm just tired, it's been a long week."

Amber diverted their attention with a detailed account of her date. When she was done telling them about it, Lexie excused herself to go to bed.

"I'm going to go to bed too." Amber said with a yawn. She stood up and headed for the stairs.

"Amber." Meredith called as she reached the doorway.

"Yes?"

"You know you can tell me anything…right?"

"I know." Amber said with a smile. "Goodnight."

Meredith watched as Amber walked down the stairs, an uneasy feeling building in her chest, knowing that there was something important going unsaid.

* * *

><p>XXXXXXX<p>

Alex walked down the hallway towards Amber's room. It was approaching 1:30 in the morning and he wanted to see if she had gone to sleep yet. He opened her door softly. Her room was completely dark aside from the light that her phone was generating in front of her face.

"Texting Caleb?" He asked.

Amber flinched slightly, unaware that he had come in. "And if I said I was testing out my new Bible App?"

"I would call you a horrible liar."

She gave an innocent smile. "So you caught me." Alex laughed. As unhappy as he was that his little sister was dating, he couldn't help but find her behavior adorable.

"Ok Juliet, time to tell Romeo goodnight."

Amber sighed and punched a series of keys on her screen before setting her phone on the nightstand next to her.

"Now let me see you turn it off."

Amber laughed. "You're smarter than you look."

"How do you think I became a doctor?"

Amber shrugged. "Dumb luck?"

"Very funny." He said, walking over to her bedside. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Go to sleep."

"Goodnight Alex."

"Goodnight Amber, I love you." He said before he shut the door.

He walked into his room and sat down on the edge of his bed, hands laced over the top of his head. He suddenly felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It had gone off multiple times during surgery that day, but he hadn't bothered to check who it was yet. He didn't really need to after all. It was bound to be the same person who had been calling all week.

He grudgingly pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it up to his ear.

"Aaron." He sighed. "You need to stop calling."

* * *

><p><strong>Oh I know, I'm so mean ending it like that. Mwahahahaha. <strong>

**Hope you enjoyed all of the cuteness! Coming up in the next few chapters: More Lexie and Alex romance and a confrontation with Aaron! Please review! **


	8. Angel Spawn  Part 1

**Hey everyone! As usual, thank you to everyone for such kind reviews! So, this chapter ended up being so long that I divided it in two. Here's part one, the "to be continued" should be posted tomorrow or the day after. Enjoy! **

**Oh and as always, as much as I wished I owned Grey's Anatomy...I don't. **

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"_Amber, are you sure?" Aaron asked for what seemed like the thousandth time._

"_Aaron, I'm telling you the truth. He was coming onto me. He put his hands on my hips; he told me I looked beautiful." She paused for a moment. "He really scares me."_

"_I'm sure there is a reason for this. What did mom say?" _

_Amber snorted at the idea that their mother would do anything to help her. She would never believe that her precious boyfriend was actually a pervert. "Mom is too drugged up to care."_

"_It's gotten worse, huh?" He asked._

"_If you were around more, you would know." She replied sharply. A wounded expression fell across his face like a shadow. His eyes dropped as he lost his ambition to meet her brooding gaze. Amber could feel hot tears forming in her eyes. She fought them as hard as she could, but she felt completely trapped. She used to think that Aaron would save her from any situation, but now she wasn't so sure._

"_She's just going through a rough time." He assured her. _

"_I don't get it." Amber said, her breathing becoming labored as she tried not to cry. "She never did drugs before. I don't even recognize her anymore."_

"_I know munchkin." Aaron replied, rubbing her back soothingly. "It's just…schizophrenia is a very…complicated disorder. Sometimes it seems like the only way out is through drugs or drinking."_

"_Trading one false reality for the next." She snapped. Aaron glanced down at her apprehensively. He had forgotten how well she seemed to understand the situation at hand. Fourteen didn't seem all that old to him, but she was well beyond her years._

"_I'm still here." He offered._

_Amber didn't reply at first. She scooted away from him slightly before wiping off her eyes. "You upped your medication again." She spoke softly. The way she said it, Aaron didn't know whether it was a question or a statement. _

"_Amber, I…." He began to try to defend himself. _

"_You leave all the time…where do you go?" She already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it for herself. She wanted him to admit that he was no better than their mother. Both of her brothers, the boys who raised her, the ones who vowed to never turn out like their parents, became just that. Alex had left and never looked back, just like their father. And now Aaron. He had lost touch with reality, just like their mother._

"_You're not old enough to understand these things, baby."_

"_Don't." She replied, her anger rising. "Don't patronize me when you know damn well I'm the only one of us who kept their promise to not end up like them."_

"_I'm not anything like them, and neither is Alex." He argued._

"_Oh please." She scoffed, new tears forming in her eyes. "You're worse." _

"_What does that mean?" He asked, growing irritated with his sister's increasing resentment. _

"_I never counted on them. I never trusted them. You and Alex…I actually believed it when you said you would always take care of me."_

"_Munchkin, I would never let anything happen to you. You know that, right?" _

"_Bull shit!" She shouted, barely allowing him to finish his sentence._

"_Amber!" He exclaimed._

"_Don't you get it?" She choked out as tears fell freely down her face. "How can you not see what's been going on every time you leave?" _

"_Amber, I'm not sure what you mean." He had an idea, but he refused to believe it. It was impossible. Their mother was irresponsible, but she would never let anyone touch Amber. _

"_I don't even know who I am anymore. Do you know what it's like to not feel safe in your own home?" She inquired, looking up to meet his gaze. His expression was blank and unreadable. She couldn't get past his wall, he wasn't hearing her. She had lost him too "I've told you that he keeps hitting on me…and you don't even care." _

"_Of course I care, sweetheart!" He cooed, speaking to her as if she were a small child. He tried to place a hand on her arm, but she jerked away instantly, as if touched by fire._

"_You don't believe me." She breathed. Her face was overcome with a mixture of shock, realization, and hurt. _

"_I think that you are exaggerating slightly. Steve is a very….affectionate person. Maybe it makes you uncomfortable, but I don't know if you understand what a serious accusation you are making."_

"_Aaron, I'm not a child." She stated, completely blindsided by his comment. "Believe it or not, I am capable of assessing the situation on my own."_

"_Mom wouldn't let that happen."_

"_And how would you explain all of the times before Steve?" _

"_What times before Steve?" He asked slowly, as if this was the most ridiculous accusation he had ever heard._

"_You know!" She shouted at him. "You're just too stubborn to admit that mom doesn't give a damn about either of us. You don't see it because you don't want to! You need to wake up."_

"_I've talked to Steve myself. He is really upset that you would accuse him of 'hitting on you'." He said, sounding slightly irritated. Amber couldn't grasp what was happening. He honestly thought she was lying. "Now, mom is upset too! I know you don't like how often she changes boyfriends, but that doesn't mean you have to try to get rid of them." _

_Amber blinked at him, she was finally fed up with the neglect. She was through with being deserted by everyone in her life. "Get out." She commanded._

"_Amber…" He protested._

"_And this time," She said, her voice cold as ice, "don't come back."_

Amber swiped a tear away from under her eye as she clutched the wrinkled picture of her and Aaron. It was taken at his high school graduation. He stood tall in his navy blue robe, his cap tilting off the side of his head. Amber hung from his back, her arms looped around his neck as he carried her to the car. This was before the drugs, back when their mother still cared enough to bring a camera to such an event. "Say siblings!" She called as the bright, yellow flash went off.

Their relationship hadn't all been bad. In fact, most of it had been perfect. He was the archetypal older brother….that was, until his health began to decline. The night she ordered him to leave had been the worst fight they had ever had, but it passed just as all the others did. He returned a few days later, determined to make things right with her. Aaron typically wasn't much for heartfelt apologies, but that time, he had poured his soul out. He vowed that he would get better. He promised he would get well enough that the state would give him custody of her. He swore that he would get her out of that house.

For some reason she had believed him. She had thought that Alex leaving made him realize just how important it was for them to stick together. Amber never envisioned that she would lose him too.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Alex's phone began to buzz against the dark mahogany of the dining room table. He glanced down at the screen and groaned. He knew that he hadn't heard the last of his baby brother. He had ordered him to stop calling last night and hung up without giving Aaron the chance to utter a single word. Now, however, Alex felt the need to at least let him speak his peace before taking the time to block his number. He glanced around cautiously to make sure Amber was well out of earshot before picking up the phone.

"You have three minutes to tell me why I shouldn't block your number right now." Alex spoke sternly into the receiver.

"Well hello to you too, big brother." A voice replied on the other end.

"Cut the chit-chat Aaron, I have to go to work soon."

"I just want to talk to her, Alex."

"You lost that privilege." He replied coldly.

"Don't you think Amber has a say in this?"

"No." Alex stated. "As a matter of a fact, she doesn't. I'm her guardian."

"And I'm her brother!" Aaron yelled.

"So where were you when she was being assaulted by Steve?" Alex hissed.

"No Alex, I think the proper question is….where were _you_?"

Alex laughed condescendingly. A comment like that would have bothered him a few weeks ago, but not anymore. "If Amber had come to me, if she had confided in me that she thought she was in danger, I would have helped her. When I got the call from the police, do you think I hesitated to accept custody of her? Do you think there was even a question of whether I was going to let her stay in that house? If I had known…I _never_ would have done what you did."

"I know I messed up!" Aaron exclaimed desperately. "Look, you weren't there during mom's demise. You don't know how hard it was on us. I didn't want to admit that she…..I didn't want to believe that she would put Amber at risk like that."

"So you put Amber at risk even more." Alex rejoined. He felt very little sympathy for his brother. In fact, all he felt was anger. "You accused her of lying and left her to fend for herself against a disturbed man with no sense of remorse."

"I never meant for anything to happen to her."

"Do you think that matters, Aaron?" Alex asked, exasperated. "Amber lost a whole lot more than her mother the night that Steve attacked her, and it could have been prevented if you had just listened."

"It also could have been prevented if you didn't walk out on us."

"You think I don't know that I screwed up too? Well, I do. But I'm making up for it now."

"So you get a second chance, but I don't?" He implored angrily.

"I didn't say that, but right now…Amber's doing well. She finally has structure, stability, support. I'm not about to uproot her by bringing you back into the picture." Alex asserted roughly.

Aaron sighed deeply. "I still think you should ask Amber what she thinks. She's a big girl you know."

"This isn't a democracy, Aaron. I'm calling the shots here and I'm not comfortable with you being a part of her life right now."

"You can't keep me from her forever."

"And I have no intentions to." He affirmed. "But right now, she is still getting settled. The answer is no."

The line grew silent. Alex thought they had been disconnected before his brother finally spoke up.

"Has she even asked about me at all?" He entreated timidly.

"Aaron…" Alex responded, lowering his tone. He didn't want to be quite so bunt as to just tell him 'no,' but that was the truth. "Not recently." He managed to choke out with as much empathy as he could encompass at the given moment.

"I'll be in touch soon." Aaron stated abruptly.

"Don't call back." Alex repeated as Amber walked into the room. He quickly hit the 'end call' button and set his phone onto the table.

"Who was that?" Amber asked as she scanned the room for her Biology textbook.

"Solicitors." Alex muttered in return, hoping she hadn't heard anything else of the phone call. She had come down the hallway so quietly that he hadn't bothered to sensor his end of the conversation. "You ready?"

It was Saturday morning and Amber had been given the choice of coming to the hospital with Alex or spending the day at Mark Sloan's apartment. She had chosen the hospital almost instantly.

"Almost, I can't find my biology book. I have a project to work on."

"It's in the foyer under Meredith's rain coat." He responded quickly, silently reprimanding himself for sounding like such a housewife.

She scampered off into the other room. Alex could hear the rustling of paper as she reorganized the contents of her bag to make room. "Ready!" She called out.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"You don't understand." A slender blonde woman argued with Derek in the hall outside of a patient's room. "That is _not_ my husband in there. Something is wrong."

"Mrs. Hawkings." Derek replied in a well rehearsed, comforting tone.

"Scarlett." She corrected.

"Scarlett, Brody is describing the symptoms of chronic migraines. It doesn't sound like anything you need to be alarmed by."

"Look, I know Brody. He hasn't been acting like himself for months." Derek opened his mouth to speak again but she quickly silenced him. "And don't tell me that his irritability is a side effect of having severe headaches."

Derek glanced through the window into Brody's room. His eyes were shut tight as he tried to block out the massive pain plaguing the front of his head. Although only twenty-nine years old, small wrinkles were becoming visible where he had spent so much time scrunching up his face in an attempt to relieve pressure.

"I have money, Dr. Sheppard." Scarlett spoke up to get his attention. "I don't care how much it costs…run the damn test."

Derek locked eyes with the wife and nodded before stepping into Brody's room.

"Could somebody turn off this damn light?" He demanded angrily as soon as he heard the sound of people entering the room. Derek flipped the light switch off and picked up the chart hanging from the end of the bed. "And whose dick to I have to suck around here to get a glass of water?"

"Brody." Scarlett hissed. "I'm so sorry." She apologized quietly to Derek.

"I'll have a nurse bring you some."

"It's about damn time." Brody replied, pulling his pillow over his face to block out any remaining light.

"We are going to schedule an M.R.I. for you later today. It will point out any abnormalities so we can decide how to proceed."

"Alright." Brody's muffled voice spoke from beneath his pillow.

"Thank you doctor." Scarlett said, throwing one more apologetic glance in his direction before watching him exit the room.

"Meredith, Karev!" Derek shouted down the hallway, stopping the two residents in their tracks. They turned around to find the source of their names.

"Are you two doing anything?"

"Nothing really, mostly scut work." Meredith replied.

"Good. I need you to schedule an M.R.I. for Brody Hawkings and take him down yourselves. He's not the nicest of people…so don't be alarmed. Can you handle that?"

"Yes sir." Alex replied.

"Thank you. Page me if you find anything."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber crumpled another drawing and threw it over her shoulder, knowing she was most likely missing the waste basket, but not caring. The table was covered in eraser shavings as she tried to trace the base for her project. _Whoever came up with the idea of a papier-mâché diagram of a cell can go to hell._ She thought angrily, glancing at the reference point in her text book. She picked up her pencil and began drawing again. Time flew by at the speed of light and finally she emerged from her work trance and surveyed her drawing. She was satisfied enough to continue onto her next step. Yanking a pile of cardboard out from under the table, she placed her drawing over the top and pulled out a pocket knife. Following her pattern exactly was a lot more difficult than she had originally anticipated and it wasn't long before she nicked her index finger with the tip of the knife.

"Damn it." She muttered. She wrapped her finger in the sleeve of her shirt and wiped off the blood before taking a look at the damage. It wasn't too bad, just a small cut…but there was a lot of blood.

"What on earth are you doing? Building a new hospital?" A voice sounded from behind her.

"Jackson, don't do that!" She exclaimed. "Is it that hard to tell people when you enter a room?"

Jackson laughed triumphantly, clearly having hoped to startle the young girl out of her work. His smile faded as he noticed her nursing her wounded finger.

"What did you do?" He asked grudgingly.

"Nothing." Amber replied quickly, shoving her hand behind her back.

"Let me see it." Jackson commanded, walking over to where she was sitting. He reached out for her arm and she pulled away quickly.

"No."

"Amber." He reached again.

"No."

Finally, he caught her arm and pulled her sleeve up, revealing her bleeding finger. "How did this happen?"

She mumbled an answer that was barely audible.

"A what?"

"A knife." She said slightly louder.

"What are you doing with a knife?"

"Working on a project."

He glanced behind her, noticing her work for the first time. "Come with me." He pulled Amber behind him down the hall to an empty patient's room. "Sit" He said as he opened a drawer to rummage for medical supplies.

"You know, I didn't cut my finger off." She spoke with aggravation.

"Attitude." He reminded her.

Amber sat down silently and made a quick face behind his back before he turned around.

He wiped off her finger with a cleansing solution. Amber hissed as a strong sting engulfed what felt like her entire hand. "I know." Jackson said sympathetically. Once he had her finger disinfected, he wrapped it neatly with gauze to stop the bleeding. "All done."

"Thanks."

Jackson walked Amber back to the longue where she sat down to resume her work. He watched as she picked up the knife and stared at it blankly upon realizing the bandage on her finger was so large, she couldn't cut the cardboard properly. He chuckled softly before taking a seat next to her.

"May I?" He held out his hand and Amber placed the pocket knife in his palm. Jackson swiftly began to cut out the base of her cell diagram, as well as the smaller details she had drawn out. Amber had to admit that it probably looked a lot better than it would have had she done it by herself.

"My hero." She said with admiration.

"Anything for you." He replied, dotingly.

Amber diligently started on other details of her project as Jackson worked alongside her.

"Hey Jackson, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you think Alex has been acting weird?"

"Weird like how?"

"Like he's hiding something."

"Not really." He replied before setting the knife down. "Why? Do you?"

"Kind of." She grew silent again.

"Care to elaborate?"

"I don't know…" She paused for a moment, trying to compile the appropriate words to describe her brother's behavior. "His phone rings all the time and whenever I ask him who it is, he just tells me it was solicitors. Now, call me crazy, but I don't think he can be on so many lists that he is receiving calls five times a day."

"Amber." Jackson began. Amber could tell he was about to give some kind of speech, he had switched to his parental tone. "Whatever Alex is hiding…he probably has a reason. That's his business. He respects your privacy doesn't he?"

"The three of you stood at the window and spied on me at the end of my first date!" She exclaimed.

"That's not the point…." He retorted, clearly caught off guard.

"Amber one, Jackson zero."

"Okay fine." He laughed. "But seriously. What I'm saying is that Alex is a grown man, and a responsible one at that. Whatever he is doing, you don't need to worry about."

"I just have a feeling…."

"A feeling, huh? What kind of feeling?"

"That it has something to do with me."

A look of understanding spread across Jackson's face. "Sweetheart, everything is fine."

"If you say so."

"I do, and you know I'm always right."

"I think we just established that you are often wrong." She joked.

"You know…..I'm still the one holding the knife." He teased back.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Alright Brody, you need to lie as still as you can." Alex commanded. Brody rolled his eyes, but proceeded to stiffen his body to prevent movement. Alex nodded to Meredith who hit a button on the wall. A loud buzz followed as the patient slowly moved into the M.R.I. machine. Alex returned to the booth with Meredith while they waited for images to appear on the screen.

"Aaron's been calling." He said to her, not taking his eyes off of the blank screen. Meredith was the only person he felt he could wholly trust with this information.

"Angel Spawn?" She asked.

"Don't call him that."

Meredith laughed. "Alright, so what does he want?"

"He wants to talk to Amber."

"I see." Meredith's eyes turned to slits as she contemplated what he said. "And does Amber want to talk to him?"

"I couldn't tell you….she doesn't know about it."

"You haven't told her?"

"No judging." He asserted, shoving a finger in her face.

"No judgment zone." She avowed. "But…don't you think she has a right to know?"

Alex sighed, consumed in moral dilemma. "Not really?"

"Alex." She scolded.

"For all I know, bringing him back into the picture could be potentially catastrophic."

"How do you figure?"

"She's been struggling nonstop to overcome what she went through before she came to live with me. And whatever happened was so bad that she has yet to tell _anybody _the full story. I don't want to bring Aaron back into her life just so he can remind her of everything she went through! The whole point of her coming here was to start over."

"I know Alex." Meredith said empathetically. "But I think you should at least consider telling her."

"I'll think about it." He answered truthfully.

"Level with me here." She began. He knew she was about to go all 'Dr. Phil' on him. He waited patiently for her to proceed. "Is there some part of you, maybe a very tiny part, that is worried you will lose her if she forgives him?"

"I'm not quite sure I follow…."

"Well, right now, you're the hero. You're the big brother that is taking care of her, but Aaron was that guy up until now. You're worried that you won't be the one she counts on anymore if he re-enters the picture, aren't you?"

He tilted his head to the side in contemplation. He hadn't really thought about things in that manner, but he supposed it might be true. He had made a lot of progress with Amber and the last thing he wanted to do was jeopardize it by bringing back the one who betrayed her to begin with. Then again, he had betrayed her too, long ago. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew that was how Amber saw things. Was he really any better than Aaron in the long run?

Alex shook the thought out of his head and returned his attention to Meredith. Of course he was better than Aaron. He hadn't intentionally ignored his sister's pleas for help. He hadn't completely discredited her fears. He had rescued her when things went south, which was more than he could say for his brother.

"I guess you could say that." He finally confessed.

"That's what I thought." Meredith replied with a proud smile.

"Hey, don't get cocky. I'm not quite sure what I'm feeling at the moment. All I know is that I don't want Aaron around Amber right now. I may not know the reason, but I'm going with my gut here."

Meredith thought about this briefly before speaking. "I trust your judgment more than most people. If you're saying you don't think she should know, I'm going to assume you have your reasons."

"I do." He said somewhat doubtfully. "At least I think I do."

Before Meredith could open her mouth to speak again, a series of brain scans popped up on the previously blank screen before them.

"You did great, Brody." Alex praised, speaking into the microphone that communicated to the M.R.I. machine. "We'll have you out of there in a jiff."

"Oh my god." Meredith gasped behind him.

"What?" Alex spun around to take a look at whatever Meredith was marveling at.

"Page Derek right now." She ordered, her eyes wide as she stared at the images in front of her.

Alex did as he was told and Derek appeared in the booth with them less than ten minutes later. He stepped up to the screen and examined the images in extremely close proximity, not wanting to miss even the smallest detail.

"The tumor is directly above the amygdala." Derek spoke to himself, rather than to the other doctors in the room.

"That could explain the anger." Alex chimed in.

"He will most likely turn violent if it isn't removed."

"Then let's cut the sucker out."

"It's not that simple." Derek responded with a sigh. "Take a look at the thing Karev. It's huge. It may be far too advanced to remove."

"We should talk to the wife." Meredith, who hadn't said anything yet, spoke up.

"She's right." Derek agreed.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Alex and Meredith stood slightly behind Derek, listening intently as he explained the situation to Brody's wife.

"Are you saying it's inoperable?" She asked.

"I'm saying it's risky." Derek replied. "It would be difficult to get it approved, not to mention finding a surgeon willing to attempt the operation."

"Well, what about you?" She implored.

"I can't make any promises."

"Dr. Sheppard." Her tone shifted, growing increasingly grave. "Brody and I have wasted so much time believing that his only problem was constant migraines. We tried changing his diet, his sleep schedule, everything. And now I find out that there was a legitimate cause all along and you don't know if you're willing to operate?" She spat out the final sentence in disgust.

"All I'm saying is that it is something you should discuss."

"How long would he have otherwise?" She finally asked. Derek glanced back and Alex and Meredith who took a step closer to join the conversation.

"It's hard to say just by looking at it." Alex offered when nobody else had spoken up. "But I would say five months at the most." Derek nodded in agreement with his statement.

"The surgery would give him a chance though…..right?"

"Statistically…..the chances are slim." Derek professed.

Scarlett looked to her left, into the room that held her husband. "You see that man right there?" Her face softened as she stared at Brody sleeping. "That's my husband…my everything. He isn't some statistic."

Derek exchanged concerned glances with Meredith and Alex. They both knew that he was strongly considering it. An hour later he would be in Richard's office, demanding that it be allowed.

"Find somebody who will perform the surgery." Scarlett asserted heavily.

"You need to talk to him first. The final call is still his." Derek said.

"Fine." She disappeared into the room and the three doctors watched as she put a hand on her husband's arm to wake him. She grimaced at whatever rude comment followed.

"Derek, are you considering this?" Meredith asked. Her mind drifted back to the brief period of time where her husband had stumbled into some form of depression, hopelessly fretting over the number of lives he had lost compared to those he had saved. Those numbers were caused by cases like this; the ones thought to be hopeless until Derek decided it could be done.

"You know that I am." He sighed.

"Is it possible?" Alex asked.

"I won't know until he is on the table."

"It sounds like you've already made up your mind." Meredith stated, attempting to sound supportive.

Without saying another word, Derek spun around and began trekking down the long hallway.

"Where are you going?" She called after him.

He stopped and looked over his shoulder. "To see Richard." He replied with a confident smile.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Alex carried on with his day's work and waited anxiously to see if Derek would deliver them any news, but not a soul had heard from him since he vanished to the Chief's office earlier that day. As his shift was coming to an end and his date with Lexie approaching, he attempted to put the exciting surgery out of his mind for the time being. He walked into the longue where Amber was hunched over the back table, making small markings on shaped pieces of cardboard.

"You're going to have a terrible back when you get older if they don't stop giving you so much homework." He commented on his way to his locker.

"You'll have to take that up with my teachers." Amber lamented.

"What are you doing anyways? Designing a house?"

"Finishing the underlying structure for my papier-mâché cell diagram." She replied without looking up from her work.

"That was going to be my second guess….."

Amber laughed and set down her pencil so she could stretch her back out. Every inch of her spine felt stiff and screamed in protest as she attempted move.

"What happened to your finger?" Alex asked after pulling a t-shirt over his head.

"I'm surprised your evil sidekick didn't run and tell you himself."

Alex chuckled. "Who, Jackson?"

"It was nothing." She replied curtly. "I was cutting out the base for my project and I got my finger instead of the cardboard."

"What?" He was at her side in a minute. He grabbed her hand and made a face upon noticing the spot of blood that had soaked through the gauze.

"It's fine now. There was just a lot of blood at the time." She tried to reassure him, hoping to prevent a reaction similar to Jackson's.

"I'll want to take a look at it later."

"That's fine." She agreed, happy that he was letting it go. It was only a cut after all. _Doctors…._She thought, rolling her eyes.

"Get your stuff. I have to get ready for my date." He flashed a quick smile in her direction. "You going out tonight?"

"Probably."

"Alright, then let's move it slow poke!" He followed her over to the table and began to help her collect the scattered supplies.

"Any more calls from solicitors?" She inquired with a slight edge to her voice.

"Nope, I told them to take me off of their list." Alex slung her bag over his shoulder and placed his hand on the small of her back to lead her out the door. As they walked, Amber snuck a quick glance up at her brother. She was completely unsurprised by his troubled expression. There was no longer a doubt in her mind….her brother was hiding something.

And she was going to figure out what it was.

_**To be continued…..**_

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you liked it! Part 2 should be up tomorrow or Saturday! Please review. I will send you a virtual pie. <strong>


	9. Angel Spawn  Part 2

**Hello readers! So sorry that the chapter is late! My astronomy professor seemed to think that 2 lab write ups and an online quiz would be fun to do this weekend…..so I did not have much time to write. Hehe, enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"Wear this one." Amber suggested, lifting up a black pencil skirt that she had found in Lexie's closet.<p>

"I don't know, Amber." Lexie hesitated. "Are you sure that won't be too fancy? I was thinking maybe some jeans and a cute halter top?"

"Come on Lex, boys love skirts. It's a fact."

"Fine." She snatched the hanger out of Amber's hands. "I'll trust you this time. What top should I wear with it?"

Amber touched her finger to her lip in thought as she scanned the contents of the closet before her. She yanked a hanger off of the top bar and threw it over her shoulder. "This."

"Hey!" Lexie protested as the silky top landed on the top of her head.

Amber heard the bathroom door slam downstairs and listened intently until she heard the shower begin to run. "I'll be right back….I need to get something." She announced, trying to act as casual as possible.

"Wait!" Lexie caught her arm. "Hold on a minute, I need you to tell me how this looks."

Amber nodded reluctantly and waited as Lexie disappeared into the bathroom to slip on the outfit she had chosen out. She glanced towards the hallway impatiently, not wanting to miss her chance. "Almost done?" She asked calmly.

The bathroom door opened and Lexie emerged slowly.

"Lexie." Amber breathed. "You look absolutely stunning."

"You think?" She pulled down on her skirt nervously.

"No question!"

"Thanks." She smiled. "So I should wear this?"

"And heels." Amber added.

"Heels too? Come on, we don't want to oversell it."

"Heels!"

"Fine!" She groaned, stomping over to her closet. She threw a glare over her shoulder at the young girl. "You're so bossy."

"Be right back." Amber said, before darting out of the room and down the stairs.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Are you sure about this Derek?" Richard Weber asked with great uncertainty. As the chief of surgery, most of his arguments stemmed from the possible lawsuits that could accompany such a risky surgery, but he could not deny that he was also concerned about the surgeon standing before him. Derek did not have the greatest track record in dealing with failure.

"You don't think that I can do it?" Derek questioned.

"You know that isn't what I'm saying, Derek." Richard had been fighting him on this matter all day and was finally wearing down. "Of every neurosurgeon in the country, it is obvious that you are the best chance this man has."

"Then what is the problem?"

"We don't know if this man has a chance at all."

"He won't, not unless we give him one." Derek rebutted.

Richard sighed, knowing that Derek would stand there and argue with him all night long if necessary. He was not the kind of surgeon who backed down once his mind was set on an outcome. "Have you found anyone willing to assist?"

"Nearly every attending in this hospital has offered their support. Take your pick on who you want in there."

"Miranda Bailey." He stated plainly.

"I had a feeling." Derek replied with a smirk. "But I had someone else in mind."

"I'm guessing you mean your wife." Richard raised one eyebrow.

"Well of course I would love for her to be in there, Karev too…but no."

"Alright then, let me hear it."

"I was referring to you sir."

At first Richard seemed taken aback, but after a moment of thought, a look of realization spread across his face. His lips curved upward into a soft smile. "I'd say I'm about overdue for a surgery, wouldn't you?"

"Oh, no doubt about it." Derek agreed with a laugh.

"You know what I'm risking by letting you do this, don't you?" The chief's mood quickly shifted back to professional and serious.

"Of course, and I will do everything in my power not to let you down."

"Well then." Richard spoke, extending his right arm across his desk. Derek firmly grabbed hold of his hand and shook it. "You've got yourself a surgery."

Derek walked out of the chief's office, buzzing with pride. He couldn't wait to inform the wife that he had gotten the surgery approved. Suddenly his stomach twisted himself into a tight knot. The thought of possibly killing this young woman's husband was almost too much for him to handle. He quickly shoved the thought out of his mind, wanting to have complete faith in his ability to perform this surgery.

"Did you get it approved?" Mark asked, running to catch up to Derek's side.

"Yes I did." Derek replied.

"Congrats."

"Thank you. I'm a little nervous, but I've overcome greater odds than this before." He said, his mind flashing back to Izzie. He had saved someone's life when everyone believed it was impossible before, who was to say he couldn't do it again?

"So….have you seen Lexie?" Mark inquired.

"Mark…." Derek let his voice trail off. His did his very best to stay out of the situation between his best friend and sister-in-law, and yet, the two insisted on continually thrusting him into the middle of it. "Let it go."

"I just want to talk to her." He stated defensively.

"I didn't want to be the one to tell you this Mark, but she is going on a date with Alex Karev tonight."

"I'm going to kill that no-good, conniving, little…"

"You are going to leave him alone." Derek cut him off. "And you are going to leave Lexie alone too. It's for the best."

"I still love her." Marked sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Then let her be happy."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber moved about Alex's room as quietly as she could. _Where on earth does he keep his phone?_ She demanded silently. She glanced out into the hallway nervously and watched as steam flowed out through the lower crack of the bathroom door. She had roughly a few minutes before he got out of the shower and finding his phone was crucial.

At last, she lifted up the comforter of his bed and a small, black phone came tumbling out. She unlocked it quickly and began sifting through recent calls. She heard the water stop and could feel panic rising in her chest. She glanced down at the recent calls and cupped a hand over her mouth to keep from gasping upon recognizing the Iowa area code. She knew it could be one of two people…her mom or Aaron. Quickly, she transferred the number to her own phone and sprinted out of the room.

"What were you doing in your brother's room?" Jackson asked from behind her.

Amber spun around in shock. She hadn't even known he was home. "How is it that you are always behind me?"

"I asked you a question." He didn't look particularly pleased. Amber assumed he was most likely able to guess that she had been snooping around.

"Ummm…." She stuttered, wracking her brain for any viable excuse. She glanced down at the white iPhone in her hand. "I needed his iPod cord. I can't find my charger."

"So where is it?" He asked skeptically.

"Huh?"

"The iPod cord."

"Oh…uh…couldn't find it."

"I see." He clearly didn't buy a word that she was saying.

"Well…see ya." She said abruptly before rushing past him towards her room.

"It's in the kitchen." Jackson called after her.

"What?"

"Your charger."

"Oh, thanks!" She called back before slamming her door shut.

It didn't take long before Jackson opened her door and walked right in.

"So how about we try the truth this time." He pulled out her desk chair and straddled it with his arms folded over the back. "Go."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He shot her a look, a very serious one. She didn't recognize this side of Jackson very well. He was normally very light hearted and silly, but now, with his blue eyes piercing her, she felt somewhat intimidated.

"Yeah, I was snooping." Amber sighed.

"That's what I thought." He said, lightening up on his death glare slightly. "Would you like to tell me why?"

"I just needed to know."

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what?" He asked, his deep voice softening.

"Afraid that she is going to try to take me back."

Jackson leaned back in surprise. He hadn't even considered that something like that could be what was troubling the young teen. She was afraid of being sent back to live with her mother again, back where she wasn't safe.

"Amber, honey, your brother is not going to let that happen." He said with certainty. His anger had quickly faded and had transformed into sympathy.

"How could he stop it?" She asked, looking up at him with pleading eyes. "She's my mother. Doesn't she have some sort of…claim?"

"I don't think any judge in their right mind would give that woman custody of you again. And if she tried, I promise….Alex would not be the only one fighting for you."

That seemed to calm her down slightly, but not completely. "I was right though." She mumbled.

"About what?"

"It's an Iowa area code."

"Amber, that could mean anything."

"I guess." She shrugged, not feeling all that comforted.

"I'll make you a deal." He said. She looked up to meet his eyes. "You're off the hook for going behind Alex's back if you promise me you will stop worrying. At least until we know more."

"You're not going to tell on me?"

"Only if you stop killing yourself over this." He tentatively held out his hand. "Deal?"

She grabbed hold of his hand and shook it firmly. "Deal."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Alex waited at the bottom of the stairs anxiously. He had considered going around and ringing the doorbell to simulate an actual date between two people who _didn't_ live in the same house already, but he decided that was far too cheesy. He heard the soft clicking of high heels as Lexie rounded the corner towards the top of the stairs. The clicking turned into loud clunks as she neared the landing.

His eyes grew wide as she emerged into his sight, wearing a black pencil skirt with a navy blue top tucked into it. Her hair was hoisted up in a neat bun and she wore a pair of silver, dangling earrings. Alex suddenly felt self-conscious in his own white button-up and khakis, as if he wasn't good enough to be going out with the stunning woman before him. "You look beautiful." He commented.

"It isn't too much? I was going to go for a more casual look, but Amber picked this out herself."

"Then my sister has good taste." He held out his arm and waited for her to place her hand on top of his. He escorted her through the kitchen and out the back, opening her car door for her when they reached the driveway.

They drove in silence for a few minutes before Lexie attempted to start a conversation.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Dinner." He answered shortly.

"I know that! Where?"

"Someplace nice."

Lexie gave him a playful glare and returned her attention to the window. "I'm glad we're doing this." She said without turning to face him.

"Me too." Alex smiled. He reached his hand over hesitantly and placed it on top of her knee. She put her own hand on top of his and allowed their fingers to lace together. They didn't move for the remainder of the drive.

"Meredith told me that Richard gave Derek the go ahead on the surgery."

"And..." Alex questioned, hoping this meant they were allowed to be a part of it.

"He said that he wants us in there with him."

"That's great!" Alex exclaimed. If Derek was successful in this surgery, it could potentially mean great things for every surgeon in the room with him.

"I know, but I'm kind of nervous. I mean, what are the chances that this is actually going to succeed?"

Alex shrugged. "It's Derek...you never know with that guy." He cut himself off not wanting his mind to drift to Izzie. It was impossible to think of Derek's surgical skills and not be reminded of everything that he had done for her. Everybody assumed that she was as good as dead, but Derek had other plans. He had done the impossible once, and Alex was more than certain he could do it again.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber sat on the floor of her room, her back pressed up against the side of her bed. She stared at the screen of her phone holding the ten digits she didn't know what to do with. Her friends had been badgering her for the past hour to come meet up with them downtown, but she couldn't bring herself to leave until she had addressed what had been bothering her.

_There's only one way to find out._ She took a deep breath and hit the 'send' button. The phone rang three times before a familiar voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Aaron?" Amber asked in disbelief.

"Oh my god…Amber." He had never been so happy to hear her voice. "What do you….how did you…"

"Is it really you?" She questioned with uncertainty.

"It's me, munchkin."

"Are you the one who has been calling Alex so much?"

"I've been looking for you." He answered.

"Why?" It came out a lot meaner than she had anticipated, but she had no idea why he wanted to speak to her now. He sure wasn't interested back when she actually needed him.

"I don't know." He replied, caught off guard by her hostility. "To hear your voice….to see how you are doing."

"I'm doing fine, and yourself?" She answered bitterly.

He groaned into the receiver. "I take it you're still angry."

"Ding ding ding."

"So did you call to chew me out? Or are we actually going to try to resolve this?"

"I didn't really know who I was calling." She admitted.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Alex has been acting strange, and I thought it had something to do with whoever has been calling him nonstop….so I stole his phone and got the number."

"You haven't changed a bit." He chuckled.

"It hasn't been that long." She snapped.

"It feels like it to me…I miss you more than you can imagine."

"You're right, I can't imagine." She retorted sharply.

Aaron sighed loudly. "I guess I deserved that."

"Well, what did you expect Aaron? Did you think I would be so overcome with joy to hear from you that I would forget everything that happened?"

"Kind of…" He confessed.

"It's not that simple. You should know that."

"I do, Amber." He said reluctantly. "I just wanted to hear it straight from you that you're doing okay."

"I'm actually doing pretty well…" Amber conceded, almost as if she couldn't believe it herself.

"He's treating you right?"

She chuckled lightly. "It's different, but I'm getting used to it."

"Different how?"

"I don't know…" She thought for a moment. "People actually care what I do here. There are eyes everywhere. If it isn't Alex giving me the third degree, it's Jackson, or Derek, or Meredith."

"I guess you could use that after our upbringing."

"You could say that."

"Look….Amber." He started to speak, but stopped briefly to collect himself. Amber thought she heard his voice break slightly. "I know you might not be ready, but I was hoping that maybe sometime….whenever you decide you want to…I could come see you."

"Aaron, I don't even think I'm allowed to be talking to you right now."

"Says who?"

"If I had to break into Alex's room and steal his phone just to get this number, I'm guessing that means I'm not supposed to be talking to you."

"I suppose you are right….but I really would like to see you."

"I don't know if I want to see you or not." She replied with brutal honesty.

"I don't blame you….I figured I would try." His voice was heavy with despair. Amber felt a pang of guilt, but refused to give into it. This was his fault, not hers.

"How's mom?" She implored after a period of silence had passed. She couldn't decide if she actually cared, but still figured it was worth asking.

"I think it's best if we leave that unspoken."

"Aaron, I can handle it." She snapped. She was so tired of him treating her like a child. He had no right to be so protective over her when he was the source of much of her pain.

"It got worse after you left." He disclosed with a sigh. "More drugs, more alcohol. I don't think she really remembers everything that has happened."

"Well that's fine with me." Amber proclaimed bluntly. It honestly wasn't, but Aaron didn't need to know that. She could be on her death bed and would still deny that the actions of that woman meant anything to her. It bothered her that she still cared, that for some reason she longed for the love of the one woman who was never going to come through for her.

"Amber…" Aaron began to speak again.

Amber jerked around as she heard a noise from the hallway. "I hear somebody coming." She whispered into the phone. "I should probably go."

"Will you call me again sometime?"

"I'll try." She answered, not entirely truthfully. She didn't know if she wanted to speak to him again, but now was not the time to discuss it. "Bye."

She hung up the phone right before a knock on her door sounded.

"Come in!"

Jackson poked his head into her room. "Hey. I hadn't heard from you in a while. I thought I would come and check on you."

"Just texting friends." She answered, popping up from where she had been sitting against the far side of her bed.

"Anything interesting going on?" He inquired. Something about the tone in his voice made her nervous. He was a lot more perceptive than people would think. She couldn't shake the feeling that he could see right through her.

"Not really." She lied. "Can I go out tonight?" She hoped that asking him if she could go out would sell that she had just been speaking with friends.

"Where?" He questioned, leaning against the doorway, his arms folded over his chest.

"I'm not sure yet."

"Will you be doing legal things?"

"Yes." She giggled.

"I need a little more information than that. I would prefer not to be shot by your brother."

"I'm pretty sure it's just dinner and a movie with Caleb, some of his friends, and a few girls from my soccer team."

"Is Allison driving?"

"Yes. She said she could come and get me at 7:00 if that's okay."

"That's fine."

"Thank you Jackson, you're my favorite." She proclaimed with a grin.

"Of course I am. Somehow I always let you get your way."

"Exactly!" She paused for a moment. "So if I always get my way…I'll be home at midnight?"

"Well played." He scoffed. "I'll see you at eleven."

"I had to try." She shrugged.

Jackson laughed and turned to leave the room. He hesitated slightly and turned back around. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." She said calmly, although inside, her heart began pounding.

"Why do all of your friends always laugh at me whenever they come to pick you up?"

Amber sputtered slightly as she tried to stifle a laugh. She had been so worried that he was going to ask about her phone call. "Jackson…" She drawled. "They think you're hot."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Alex and Lexie returned home around 10:30 that night, both pleased with their evening out. The date, in Alex's opinion, was perfect. They hadn't run out of things to talk about for a single minute. He was unaccustomed to spending time with a woman who was so smart, who could find a way to enrich even the simplest of conversations. He found everything about her enticing, and he wanted more.

"Where's Amber?" Alex asked Jackson as the two of them cut through the living room.

"She went with a group to the movies."

"Was Caleb part of this group?"

"Yes, but don't worry, I told her 11:00." Jackson replied, without taking his eyes of the television.

"Thanks."

"There's one other thing…" Jackson said hesitantly. He turned to face Lexie. "Could you give us a minute?"

"Sure." She replied, going to wait in the hallway.

"What is it?"

Jackson sighed. "I caught Amber snooping in your room earlier. I talked to her about it and I thought we had an understanding but…." He stopped.

"But what?"

"I guess she got the number of whoever has been calling you lately. I heard her on the phone."

"Oh god." Alex said, placing his palm over his face. He rubbed his temples with his index and forefinger.

"I didn't tell her that I had heard her. I figured I should let you handle it."

"Thanks for telling me."

"No problem." He returned his attention to the television.

Alex walked into the hallway and took Lexie's hand in his.

"Is everything alright?" She asked.

"It will be." He pushed a strand of hair out of her face. "Let's not worry about that right now though….I had fun with you tonight."

"Me too, a lot of fun."

He remained static in the hallway, his hand still held tightly in his own. He didn't want the night to end and was beginning to panic, worried that he was making things unbelievably awkward. While he was busy wracking his brain for a way to keep the romance going, Lexie took hold of the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss.

"The night isn't over yet." She whispered, her lips moving against his as she spoke. She took a step away from him and pulled her hand back until she was only holding on to his finger tips. A seductive look passed across her face as she pulled him behind her towards his bedroom. She could remember the last time she had been in there. Their "hook-up" had been one of lust and sexual frustration, but not this time. Now, with her heart pounding as she walked down the hallway, she knew that she was falling for him.

Alex slammed Lexie against the back wall of his bedroom, one hand on the side of her face as he maintained a deep kiss. An alluring grin made its way across her face as she drew back and began to undo the buttons of his shirt one by one. It was all she could do to not rip it open at once. She couldn't stand waiting any longer. She had wanted, no, _needed_ him for the past week. The ever growing tension between them had become too much to handle.

Alex bit his lower lip in anticipation and shook the unbuttoned shirt off of his shoulders. He grabbed the side of Lexie's blue tank and yanked it out from inside of her skirt, pulling it over her head. She placed a hand on his abdomen and gave him a gentle shove towards the bed, climbing on top of him once he allowed himself to fall backwards. She could trace the outline of his abs as she moved her hands down his body, feeling the warmth of his skin against hers.

"Are you sure I'm not going too fast?" He whispered, his lips moving against her neck. Goose bumps formed along her body at the feeling of his breath. He lifted his head to wait for her reaction.

She placed a finger over his lips to quiet him. "Hush up." She chastised playfully.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Jackson glanced at the clock and back towards Alex's bedroom, hoping his endeavors with Lexie would last a while longer. _Amber, get your ass home. _He silently urged. It was sometime after 11:15 and he wasn't so much worried about her safety as he was worried about her angering her brother. He didn't know how well Alex was going to handle the news that she had taken it upon herself to call whoever has been harassing him, and she didn't need to add a curfew violation to the list of things she had done wrong that day.

He heard a car door slam in the driveway and sighed in relief as the back door creaked open. He laughed to himself, imagining that she was most likely panicking by now.

Amber tiptoed through the backdoor, praying silently that Jackson had been unexpectedly incapacitated. He had been acting weird all day, and now, coming home twenty minutes past curfew, she did not want to deal with him. She stepped into the kitchen and sighed with relief at its vacancy.

She took each step as if trying to avoid buried land mines as she cut through the dining room, hoping to slip past the den unnoticed.

"Yes I'm awake, and yes I know that you're late." Jackson's voice sounded from the den behind her.

"You really need to stop this 'always being behind me' business." She sighed, turning around to face him. She stared at the ground, not wanting to see whether he was angry.

He laughed. "Alright, go ahead."

"Go ahead with what?"

"Your excuse! That's the best part. So what was it? Kidnapped? Attacked by pirates?"

Amber was surprised that he seemed so nonchalant after how serious he had been acting all day. "There was a massive wreck on Main Street, so only one lane was open. We left downtown around 10:45, but ended up sitting in traffic forever."

Jackson frowned. "That wasn't nearly as entertaining as I was hoping."

Amber didn't reply, but instead, remained staring at the ground, shuffling her feet nervously.

"You look like you think you're about to be executed." He teased

"I might as well be."

"Nah."

She perked up. "Really?"

He glanced at his watch and shrugged. "First time I've seen you be late since you've been here. I think we can let twenty minutes slide."

"Oh my god, you really are the best." She ran up and hugged him. He ruffled her hair affectionately. He felt somewhat guilty for outing her to Alex, but he really did feel like it was something that he needed to know. Alex wanted what was best for her…they all did.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Lexie?"

"Hmm?" She mumbled, refusing to lift her head off of his chest. Alex hated to disturb her. She looked so peaceful, her body resting against him with one arm draped across his abdomen. He was once more overcome with how beautiful she looked, her head on his bare chest, the warmth of her cheek penetrating his entire body.

"I just wanted to see if you were asleep." He replied softly, running his hand along her side. She was wrapped loosely in his comforter with legs hanging out. Her skin appeared to be glowing as moonlight flooded in through the open window. "I'm awake." She said sleepily, shifting positions to look at him. "It's okay if you need to go talk to Amber. I won't be offended."

He pushed her hair aside and kissed her forehead. "You're really are smart."

"That's what they tell me." She joked, her voice still strained as she fought the urge to plummet back into a deep sleep.

"I won't be long." He said, kissing her cheek before he forced himself to get out of the bed. Lexie rolled over and allowed herself to close her eyes. Alex snuck one final look before closing the door.

He started to walk to his sister's room, not knowing exactly what he was going to say to her when he got there.

"Hey you." He said.

"Hi." She looked up at the clock, noticing how late it was. "You and Lexie just finish up with your 'date'?" She raised an eyebrow accusingly.

"Oh, very funny." He mocked. "Did you have a good night?"

"Yeah, I had fun." She answered. "Did you have a good date?"

"It was great. I definitely plan on taking her out again."

"Good." She replied smiling. "I like Lexie."

"I know you do."

"So, are you here to tell me it's time to go to bed?"

"Not yet, I need to talk to you first."

"Am I in trouble?" Amber asked, glancing up at her brother nervously.

Alex thought about it for a moment. He honestly wasn't mad. On the contrary, he was slightly ashamed that he had tried to keep such a secret from her in the first place. "No, you're not in trouble." He replied gently.

"What is it?"

"Well…" He started, taking a seat at the edge of her bed. "Jackson told me about your little phone call earlier."

"He heard me?" She gasped.

"Yes."

"Are you mad?"

"No, but I do wish you had come and talked to me instead of going all CSI."

"I'm sorry." She looked down, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"Hey." Alex tapped her leg to get her to look up at him. "It's okay." He said reassuringly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her eyes were large, filled with confusion.

"I just wanted to protect you." Alex divulged. "You've been doing so well…I guess I thought he might cause a relapse of some kind."

The room grew silent as Amber contemplated her brother's motives. She understood where he was coming from, but Aaron was her brother too and she felt that she had a duty to at least hear him out.

"I didn't want to let him hurt you again." Alex added as an afterthought.

Amber sighed in frustration. "Everybody needs to stop treating me like I'm made of glass. It's like you all worry that I can't handle the truth, so you walk on eggshells around me without taking the time to realize that I've known what's been going on all along….I'm not a baby anymore."

Alex placed his hand on top of hers affectionately. He expected her to pull away immediately, but surprisingly, she didn't. "I know you aren't a baby, Amber. I just figured that I did such a poor job of looking after you in the past…the least I could do was prevent you from getting hurt now."

"You're a good brother." She stated suddenly. Alex looked up, not expecting such a statement to come from her. He remained silent, wondering if he had imagined it. "When I came to live with you, I was expecting some heartless, hollow shell of the guy I used to call my brother. I figured that you took me out of obligation or for a welfare check or something."

Pain shot through Alex's heart as if he had been struck by lightning. He hated to hear the impression he had left upon his sister by leaving.

"But the more I watched you…" She continued. "I started to remember that you had it just as bad as I did. Actually, you had it worse because you had two kids to look after in addition to everything going on with mom and dad. So now, I still don't agree with what you did…but I guess I'm starting to understand it a little bit more." She paused for a moment, tilting her head in consideration, the same way Alex does when deep in thought. He smiled as he noticed the resemblance. "I kept thinking you would be different…but you aren't. You're still my big brother."

"I will always be your big brother."

"I'm starting to realize that." She offered him a genuine smile for one of the first times since her arrival.

"Amber, I'm sorry."

"For what?" Her eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

"For leaving."

Amber didn't respond. Up until now, it seemed like Alex honestly didn't believe he had done anything wrong. Her anger had subsided in the past few weeks, but it didn't mean she had forgotten.

"I just realized that I never actually apologized to you. And don't worry; I don't expect your forgiveness. I know that I'll never forgive myself for letting you go. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made….I just wanted you to know that."

"I didn't know you felt that way." She whispered.

"Of course I feel that you. You were always the most important thing in my life….Aaron too."

"And now?"

"You're still the most important thing in my life." He replied, leaning in and kissing her forehead. "And you always will be."

She nodded softly, suddenly feeling physically and emotionally drained. Alex must have noticed because he immediately pulled her blanket up over her shoulders. "You look beat. Why don't you go to sleep?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired." She agreed.

"Goodnight Amber, I love you." He recited, as he did every night.

"Goodnight." She replied. He smiled and turned off her light. He had made it halfway down the hallway before she shouted after him.

"Alex!" She called to him.

He reemerged in her doorway. "Yes?"

"I love you too."

* * *

><p><strong>DAWWWWW. SHE FINALLY SAID IT BACK. Hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it! Please review and receive VIRTUAL HUGS this time! Coming up in the next chapter : More Alex and Lexie, the big brain tumor surgery, and a peak into Amber's love life! <strong>


	10. Five Against One

**Hi everyone! I apologize for the wait. Sadly it is college exam week and I've been basically pouring blood, sweat, and tears into my textbooks 24/7! Honestly I don't know why I bother having a dorm room when I just end up living in the library! My last exam is on Saturday and then I should be updating regularly again! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Amber wiped her face nervously on the sleeve of her jersey as she quickened her pace to keep up with Caleb. She hated being next to the boy she liked right after soccer practice, still caked in mud and sweat. The two stopped on the outskirts of the parking lot, a short walking distance from where the bus stop was.<p>

"The whole boy's soccer team probably hates me now." Caleb announced triumphantly, sitting on the ledge of a brick wall at the end of the student parking lot.

"You're the star player. They have to love you!" Amber argued, standing in front of him.

He grabbed one of her hands and began to play with her fingers affectionately. "I'm sure they did love me…that is, until they saw me walking off of the field today with my arm around you."

"Now, why would that make them hate you?" She implored, leaning her body against his dangling legs. Caleb pushed a strand of hair out of her face that had come loose from her ponytail.

"Because I have you and they don't."

She leaned in closer until their faces were almost touching, suddenly not caring what a mess she looked. "You are so cheesy."

"It's true!" He protested. "I have the hottest, smartest, coolest girl in the whole school and they are slowly being consumed by jealousy."

"You have me, huh?" She teased. "And what makes you think that?"

He closed the remaining gap between them and landed a soft kiss on her lips. "Because, you are mine."

"Oh, really?" Amber replied with a grin, allowing him to kiss her once more. "And what about me? Do I have a claim on the hottest, smartest, coolest _guy_ in the whole school?"

"Mhmm." He mumbled in reply, squeezing her hand tightly in his. "So…."

"So…." She answered, wondering where he was headed with this.

"What do you say?" He inquired nervously. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Hmmmmm…" She paused with a mischievous grin on her face. Of course she was thrilled to be his girlfriend, but she loved to make him wait. He nudged her playfully. "Of course I want to be your girlfriend."

A victorious smile spread across his face. "Now they are really going to hate me."

Amber looped her arms around his neck and allowed him to pull her onto his lap. His lips met hers and a feeling of happiness washed over her whole body.

Caleb pulled her tighter against his body, his fingers tangled in her hair as she tilted her head. Kissing him ignited a fire in her that she hadn't felt before. It had been so long since she had been shown affection from someone that she didn't fear. Every man that had touched her in who knows how long had been no more than a drunken, perverted piece of her mother's life.

After a few minutes, as much as he didn't want to, Caleb broke off the kiss. "We've got to get you to the hospital. It's getting late."

"It's not our fault the coaches scheduled a make-up practice." Amber argued, wanting nothing more than to stay with him all evening.

Caleb touched the side of her face. "True, but I don't want to get on your brother's bad side."

"You're my boyfriend Caleb." She smiled sweetly. "It's impossible to be on his good side."

"And here I thought you would say something to make me feel better." He teased.

Amber gave a playful shrug. "Oh, well."

Caleb took her hand in his. "Alright, come on. I'll wait for the bus with you." The two walked down the road to the bus stop with their fingers laced together. Amber was overcome with utter bliss, she felt like she was flying.

The two sat on the bench, both silently hoping that the bus would be running late. Caleb frowned as he heard the familiar sound of a loud engine rounding the corner.

"I'll call you tonight." He told her as the bus entered their line of sight.

"Okay boyfriend." Amber said with a smile.

"Have a good afternoon girlfriend." He responded with a look of sheer glee. _Girlfriend_. He thought. _I like that._

She stepped on the bus slowly, turning around to wave before disappearing to find a seat. She watched through the window as Caleb stood on the side of the road until he became a distant pinpoint behind her. _I have a boyfriend. _She told herself, still not believing that it had actually happened.

Amber walked into the longue absent mindedly fifteen minutes later, tossing her backpack and soccer duffel bag onto the floor in front of the couch. Before she could make sense of what was happening, she was nearly being lifted off the ground in a tight embrace.

"Lexie! What are you doing?" Amber asked, still stuck in the bone-crushing hug.

"Why the hell didn't you call?" Lexie demanded immediately upon releasing her.

Amber took a step back at looked intently at the girl before her, checking to make sure it was really Lexie who was yelling at her. "My god Lexie, cool it. I'm fine."

"Don't tell me to cool it! Everybody's been trying to get a hold of you!"

"I sent Alex a text."

"Alex is in surgery. I was standing right there this morning when he told you to text me or Jackson if you needed anything this afternoon."

"Oh." Amber shrugged. "I forgot."

"You forgot?" Lexie inquired irritably. "And that makes it okay?"

"Lexie, what gives? Quit acting like my mother." Amber snapped.

"You know that you're supposed to call if you aren't coming straight to the hospital!" Lexie continued.

"We had an extra soccer practice. It was scheduled last minute. It's not like I ditched to go smoke in an alleyway somewhere."

"You had us all worried! Don't you think we all have enough on our minds with the big tumor surgery coming up this evening?"

"Wow Lexie. Overdramatic much?" She snorted.

"I'm serious, Amber! Everyone has been calling you like crazy."

Amber pulled her phone out of her pocket and looked in horror at the message on her screen that read _9 missed calls_. She suddenly felt horrible, realizing that everyone seemed to think she had been trapped in some dire situation.

"So is this how it works?" Amber hissed, refusing to show that she felt somewhat guilty. "You start dating my brother and now you think you can boss me around to impress him?"

"This has nothing to do with Alex." Lexie responded sharply. "Jackson, Derek, or Meredith would be acting the same way I am."

"Exactly!" Amber cried. "I would expect this from any of them, but not you. Some friend you are!"

"Would you quit arguing? If Alex was here, you wouldn't be talking to me this way."

"I'm starting to think if you hadn't slept with him, you wouldn't be talking to me this way either!" Amber retorted angrily. This was completely unfair. Lexie was the only person in the house who she felt she could consider a peer rather than a parent. Everyone else had taken a position of authority in her life, and now Lexie too.

"Watch it!" Lexie barked.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Alex exclaimed as he pushed open the door to the longue. "I could hear you two all the way down the hallway. He looked rather winded, clearly fresh out of surgery, but Amber didn't care.

"You're _girlfriend _is having some anger management problems." She spat.

"Amber!" Alex reprimanded, loudly enough that Amber quickly dropped her attitude as she remembered who she was speaking to.

"Lexie." He gestured her into the hallway so she could fill him in on the situation. "You, wait here." He dictated before exiting the room.

_Oh, just great. _Amber thought. _She can tell him all about what a bitch I am where I can't even defend myself. _She waited anxiously, praying that Alex would get paged and leave.

No such luck. He stormed into the room a few minutes later. "Sit down." He ordered loudly. Amber sat down with an aggravated sigh. Alex remained standing so that he towered above her as he spoke.

"What makes you think you can talk to her that way?" He demanded angrily.

It sounded like a rhetorical question, so Amber remained silent, refusing to look up at his angry gaze. Alex kneeled down in front of her. "I asked you a question."

"She was overreacting." Amber said nervously.

"I don't care if she was overreacting!" He stated. "When an adult talks to you, you are respectful."

"Lexie's my friend. She doesn't normally tell me what to do like that."

"Look at me." He said, not wanting to hear another excuse. She looked up at him, her face stone cold. She didn't know how he could be so oblivious to why this bothered her.

"You are expected to listen to every adult that lives with us." He asserted. "Whether you want to or not. You are fifteen years old. You don't do what you want; you do what you're told. Is that clear?"

"Yep." She replied, fuming inside.

"We have the surgery this evening, so you won't see Lexie tonight. However, tomorrow, when you get back from school, I expect you to find her and apologize."

"For what?" Amber countered.

"You are on thin ice, Amber." Alex warned her. "If I were you, I would fix that attitude in a hurry."

Amber looked down, scowling at the ground. She hated feeling as if she had lost, especially when she believed she wasn't the one who was in the wrong.

"Jackson has the night off, so he is going to take you home soon. When I talk to him tomorrow, I better hear that you were a perfect angel." His tone left little room for argument.

"I don't like you very much right now." She informed him coldly, finally meeting his eyes.

"That's fine." He answered calmly. "I don't need any teenage friends."

Amber didn't bother saying anything in return. It wasn't going to do any good. On the contrary, it would likely just land her in more trouble. She could feel that her brother's eyes were still fixed on her, but she refused to look up. She knew if she did, tears of frustration would begin spilling down her cheeks.

Alex watched her facial expressions intently, trying to read her, but with little success. He hated having to speak to Amber like this more than she would ever understand, but he felt that he needed to protect Lexie. He was well aware that becoming accustomed to constantly having so many people on her case at all times was a difficult transition for Amber to make, but it was a necessary one.

"Look." Alex sighed. He took a seat on the couch next to her. "I know that you don't want the relationship you have with Lexie to change, but you do understand that she is just looking out for you, right?"

"You're missing the point, Alex." She responded. "I have enough people looking out for me."

He could somewhat comprehend the point she was trying to make, but he still didn't agree with it entirely. He found it comforting that there were so many people with her best interests at heart; it reminded him that he wasn't in this alone.

Alex pushed her bangs behind her ear. "I'll talk to her." He offered. She lifted her eyes and gave him a forced smile. "But you…" He continued sternly. "You need to start working on that attitude of yours. Understood?"

She nodded in agreement. He kissed her forehead. "I will see you tomorrow when you get back from school. I love you."

"Good luck on your surgery." She responded superficially as he walked out of the room. _Asshole. _She thought as the door slammed shut.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Alright Brody, we're going to take you down to surgery in just a few minutes." Alex informed him as he shaved off the last bit of Brody's hair. Jackson had taken Amber home an hour or so earlier. She didn't even offer so much as a wave to Alex as she left.

"Yeah yeah, just slice my head open." Brody snarled.

"What exactly is going to happen?" Scarlett asked nervously, the situation suddenly becoming very real as she watched her husband being prepared.

"Basically, Derek will make an incision in the scalp and remove a window of bone from the skull so he can get a better look. We're hoping that the tumor will be removable. If it isn't, he is going to biopsy a small piece that will be sent to the pathologist to decide our next step."

Scarlett seemed to relax slightly at the description. She would have thought the process would sound much more complex, but she could grasp what was going to happen for the most part. "And you both will be in there too?" She asked.

Lexie and Alex nodded their heads simultaneously. "Not to mention the chief of surgery." Lexie tacked on.

Alex's pager began to beep. "It's time." He said.

"I love you so much, Brody." Scarlett said, planting a gentle kiss on her husband's lips. Alex stood to the side, holding onto the railing of the gurney. Lexie watched sadly from behind as Scarlett attempted to have a moment with her emotionless husband.

"I love you too." Brody responded. Scarlett gave him her best fake smile, but inside, she was choking back tears. The statement didn't sound like her husband, it sounded forced. She took a step backwards and stood to the side as Alex unlocked the wheels of the bed.

"Are you ready Brody?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, Doc. Let's get this over with."

Lexie turned to follow Alex as he began wheeling Brody down the long hallway, but stopped as she noticed Scarlett standing in the doorway with tears streaming down her face.

"Hey Alex! I'll meet you down there!" Lexie called after him.

"Don't be long!" He shouted back. Lexie turned around and shifted her attention to the woman in front of her.

"Scarlett?" Lexie addressed her gently.

"This is his only chance." Scarlett chanted quietly, desperately trying to remind herself that this surgery was the only hope they had.

"Scarlett." Lexie repeated, finally gaining the woman's attention. "I know that this is scary."

"No kidding." Scarlett retorted sarcastically, wiping her cheek on the back of her hand.

"Everybody has been so focused on telling you the high risks of this surgery that no one has bothered to tell you how good Derek really is at what he does."

"I know that he is well qualified." She replied.

Lexie let out a laugh. "Qualified?" She asked in astonishment. "Derek has done things that people claimed were literally impossible. The word 'inoperable' is not part of his vocabulary."

"It's just that everybody keeps saying statistically…."

"Didn't you say that your husband was more than a statistic?" Lexie cut her off. "I'm going to let you in on a secret…"

Scarlett locked her light brown eyes with Lexie's, waiting for her to continue.

"Doctors tell patients statistics because it is pretty much the only answer we can give. We have no idea what is going to happen….nobody does. We have an idea, but that isn't really saying much. The truth is…statistics mean absolutely nothing to the individual. Sure, they look good on paper, but no calculation is going to affect the outcome of your husband's surgery."

"I guess that's true." She sniffed. "I just really need him to be okay." She held her hand against her stomach, almost protectively. Lexie's eyes grew wide with shock as she noticed the gesture.

"Scarlett….are you pregnant?"

She nodded solemnly and new tears quickly began sliding down her face. "I just found out." She whispered.

"Does he know?"

"No." Scarlett replied, glancing at the double doors at the end of the hallway that her husband had disappeared through. "I just couldn't." She choked out.

"I can call Alex and see if there is still-"

"No." Scarlett silenced her quickly. "I can't tell him…not like this."

"What do you mean?"

"When I tell him that I'm pregnant, I want it to be the happiest moment of his life. I don't want some rude comment or crude remark. I want my husband to be _my husband_ when I tell him."

"Scarlett I…." Lexie opened her mouth to offer some form of comfort.

"Don't." Scarlett protested. She offered a weak smile. "Just get down there and take care of my husband. Because when he gets back…I'll have something wonderful to tell him."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Amber, are you hungry?" Jackson asked, leaning against the doorway to the den.

"No." She said flatly, refusing to remove her eyes from the television screen.

"You know, I think you're onto something here." He commented, walking over and taking a seat next to her where she was curled up on the couch. "Not eating every time you are upset with someone. It's a genius diet plan, especially for a teenager. No wonder you're in such good shape."

"Very funny."

"Oh, come on kid." He nudged her leg, looking for some trace of the snarky teenage girl he was accustomed to. When she continued to ignore him he swiftly stole the remote from her hand and shut off the television.

"Hey!" Amber protested loudly. "You big bully."

"Why are you in such a sour mood?"

"You wouldn't understand." She growled.

"Is it because you fought with Lexie today?"

"See, why do you even bother asking me? I'm well aware that you all just tell each other everything anyways."

"Alex didn't tell me what happened. He was just warning me that you were probably going to be irritable this evening."

"Then you should be well prepared for this." She argued, reaching an arm out to take the remote back. Jackson held it above his head.

"Not until you talk to me."

Amber groaned loudly. "Everybody is constantly in my business! I swear, there are way too many of you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just…everybody in this house tells me what to do all of the time. Don't you think I deserve at least one person who is on my side?"

"We're all on your side, Amber." Jackson said.

"Not like that." She shook her head adamantly. "I know that you all care for me and what not, but I mean…five against one just isn't fair."

"Why do you say it like we are all teaming up against you or something?"

"I know you aren't doing it to make my life miserable or anything, but it is slightly overwhelming at times."

"Oh come on, we aren't that bad. I'm not _always_ telling you what to do."

Amber made a face in reply. "You have your moments."

"Even so, what does this have to do with Lexie?"

"She got mad at me for being late this afternoon." Amber informed him.

"So?" Jackson inquired. "You deserved it. If it had been me in the longue when you got back, I would have acted the exact same way."

"Yeah, but that's you. This was _Lexie_!"

"She was worried about you. We all were."

"You are missing the point! This is why I can't talk to anyone about this." Amber cried, throwing her hands up in defeat.

"Okay, just tell me you're point. Believe it or not, I might be able to keep up." Jackson coaxed.

"Before Lexie was screwing my brother, she acted like a cool older sister to me. She covered for me with Alex, gave me advice, and _definitely_ didn't try to tell me what to do. She was just my friend, nothing more."

"What's so wrong with her wanting to be a little more present in your life?"

"Nothing…unless I want to get away with anything…ever."

Jackson began to laugh but cut himself off upon noticing Amber's expression. Concern and frustration were plastered across her face. He was doing his best to empathize, but he couldn't quite decipher what she was feeling. "I guess you're not used to this, huh?" He asked softly after a moment.

"Used to what?"

"Having to answer to people."

Amber looked up at him, somewhat shocked. She didn't feel like anyone could properly understand what was going through her head, but at least he was trying.

"You don't know what it's like to be forced to grow up when you're still so young…"

"You're right, I don't."

"I've been taking care of myself, for the most part, since I was nine years old. I didn't get to be a kid, because if I didn't handle things on my own, I wouldn't have survived in that house. Now I come here feeling like an adult…and everybody is treating me like a child. It isn't fair." Amber sunk backwards into the leather exterior of the couch, exhaling sharply.

"Amber" Jackson spoke up, attempting to regain her attention. She tentatively shifted positions to meet his eyes. "Don't you think it's about time you tried being a kid?"

"I'm not sure if I even know how." She admitted.

"Just stop worrying so much." Jackson replied, nudging her with his elbow playfully. "There is an abundance of adults in this house….why don't you start letting us do the worrying for once? That's what we're here for, to take care of you."

"You make it sound so easy."

"I know that it isn't." He agreed. "It will take some getting used to, but you'll make the transition. You're smart."

Amber smiled appreciatively before returning her gaze to her feet. "I feel kind of bad." She commented.

"Why?"

"I guess…I sometimes feel like I respect you more than I do Alex." Amber confessed. "Is that terrible?"

He considered her statement for a moment before replying. "It sounds pretty normal to me."

"How do you figure?"

"You're still learning to trust him. Instant gratification is fun in theory, but it isn't realistic. You feel more comfortable opening up to me because I never hurt you in the past…Alex did." Jackson explained. "And that's okay, Amber. I'll be here for you when you don't think your brother can be. That's the good thing about having so many of us. You never have to be alone again."

"I guess it isn't _so_ bad living with so many of you…"

"It doesn't have to be. Just give Lexie some time, alright? Right now she's probably confused. She doesn't know what dating Alex means for her relationship with you."

"It doesn't have to mean anything." Amber lamented.

"And maybe she'll figure that out…maybe not. But in the meantime, you do have to respect her. Just because she never acted like this before doesn't mean you can say and do whatever you want."

"I know." She drawled.

"Alright then. So we have an understanding?"

"Yes." Amber responded quietly. She shifted her attention downward. She did feel better, but she was still somewhat upset. After everything that had happened lately, she was so sick of things changing.

"Hey." Jackson jarred her out of her thoughts.

"Hm?"

"You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah I know." Amber replied with a smile. She tucked her leg under her and shifted positions before looking up to meet his stare. "I love you too."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Lexie stared nervously at the man lying on the surgical table before them. All she could think about was Scarlett and their unborn child, the one that he had no idea about. She fixed her stare on Derek as he moved about the O.R., reminding herself repeatedly that he was the most brilliant surgeon she knew.

Finally Derek settled in front of the table, the remaining assistants in the room quickly following his lead.

"Is the stereotaxy frame good to go?" Richard asked, watching intently as Derek prepared to work his magic.

"Yes, I had it attached before his second brain scan this afternoon."

"A wise choice." Richard praised warmly. Derek began flipping on various switched on a screen in front of the operating table. He wanted to double check the connectivity before beginning.

"Can anyone in here tell me anything about sterotaxy?" Richard inquired to the surgeons standing by.

Everyone remained silent as Derek continued setting up the machine.

"No one?" Derek prodded with his back turned. "Come on, I've taught you all better than that."

"It works like satellite navigation…kind of like the GPS in your car." Alex finally spoke up. "The surgeon uses a pointer to see exactly where they are in the brain."

"Good. And what kind is this?" Richard continued.

"A frame-based stereotaxy." Lexie answered.

"Very good. Are you ready Derek?"

"Making the first incision." Derek announced in reply. He stole a quick glance up at the gallery, scanning the crowd for Meredith. His shoulders relaxed as he spotted her in the front row. She gave him a reassuring nod.

"It's a beautiful day to save lives, let's have fun today." He recited as his blade slid through the first layer of skin on the scalp with ease.

Alex and Lexie watched breathlessly from the side as they slowly gained sight of the exposed skull.

"Drill please." Derek commanded, holding out his hand. "Karev, you have had experience with burr holes in the skills lab, correct?" He asked.

Alex was slightly caught off guard. He assumed he would only be watching. "Yes sir." He replied.

"Are you comfortable with doing this portion of the procedure?"

"Absolutely." He responded with confidence.

"Alright." Derek said, passing the drill to Alex. "You need to make two small holes in the skull, right where those markings are on the screen. I'll create the window when you finish."

Alex took a deep breath before holding the drill against the skull, carefully aligning it to the side of where the window would need to be. He pressed down and was quickly rewarded with a loud screech as the drill passed through the skull.

"Not too deep." Derek reminded him as Alex finished the first hole. "Time for round two."

Alex completed the second hole with ease and triumphantly placed the drill on the tray opposite the operating table. "Great work, Karev!" Derek complimented before turning his attention to the markings that dictated where the window should be located.

"Craniotome." He requested after reviewing the images on the screen.

Derek took a moment to ensure his hands were steady before he allowed the large piece of metal to grind through the human skull between the two holes. Slowly, he produced a small chunk of bone that was directly above the amygdala. He swiftly passed the bone flap to a nurse so it could be kept sterile until the end of the procedure. Picking up a scalpel, he made a small incision in the lining and exposed the underlying brain.

"Alright doctors, take a look at this." He said as he inserted the stereotaxy wand through the hole. A clear image of the large tumor appeared on the screen. Lexie and Alex gasped.

"It's huge." Lexie commented under her breath.

"What do you think, Derek?" Richard inquired. "Can it be done?"

"I can't be positive about removing the entire tumor yet, but I can at least relieve the pressure it is placing on the amygdala." Derek looked up at Richard and waited for the final decision. "Permission to continue?"

Richard considered the risks silently in his head before finally offering a soft nod.

Derek pushed the wand around repeatedly, not wanting to miss any portion of the tumor. The room stayed completely silent as he contemplated the images before him.

"I think if I use a laser, I can get the whole thing." Derek spoke softly to himself, taking a final glance at the screen. "In tumors this large, the boundaries are usually difficult to identify, but I can see all visible edges." He looked to Richard for conformation.

"It's your call, Doctor." The chief replied.

Derek could feel his face becoming increasingly hot as he looked back and forth between the laser in the nurse's hand and the patient on his table. He usually didn't get this flustered over a split-moment decision, but in this case, he couldn't stand the idea of having another death on his hands. Exhaling deeply, he counted to five in his head and shifted his focus to the brain in front of him. _I am a neurosurgeon. _He told himself. _This is what I was born to do._

"Laser." He held his hand out to the nurse.

Derek worked slowly and efficiently, knowing that the smallest mistake would prove to be fatal. The edges of the tumor were well defined, but the process was extremely intricate. After what felt like a life time, he removed what appeared to be the final remains of the tumor. He stepped to the side to allow Richard to aspirate the remaining abnormal tissue.

When the chief was done, Derek reinserted the stereotaxy and navigated the wand across the removal site.

"Well?" Richard implored eagerly.

Derek's cheeks lifted behind his surgical mask as his lips formed a large grin. "We got it." He announced, causing the O.R., as well as the gallery, to burst into applause.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"I just got a text from your brother." Jackson informed Amber as he emerged in her open doorway. "The surgery was successful."

"That's great." Amber said in return from her desk, her eyes fixed on the laptop screen in front of her. She was lounging in her pajamas, unwinding from the frustrating events of the day.

"What are you doing?" He asked, taking a step into the room.

"Facebook." She replied, scrolling her mouse.

"When did you get a laptop?"

"Last week. Alex said I would need it for homework and stuff. I definitely wasn't going to complain."

"See, he's not all bad."

"You can try all you want, but I'm still mad at him." Amber replied with a half smile, shifting her body in her computer chair to face Jackson.

Jackson shrugged. "You guys are way too alike. That's probably why you clash so much. One of you always has to have the last word."

"Do not." She countered.

"Thank you for just proving my point."

Amber scowled playfully before exiting the browser on her computer screen.

"Did you finish your homework?"

"Yeah, a while ago."

"Good job." Jackson praised. "It's getting late, why don't you hit the hay." He nodded his head in the direction of her bed.

"Fineeee." She lamented jokingly before shutting her laptop and climbing under the covers of her bed.

"Did Alex ask about me at all?" She questioned.

"He wanted to know if you had bitten off my head yet." Jackson laughed.

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him that you were having a rough day and were doing just fine, all things considered."

"Thanks." She responded weakly, wishing that she had ended the day on better terms with her brother. Things had been going so well.

"He's not mad at you, baby." Jackson said, reading her thoughts like an open book.

"I hate it when you do that."

"Do what?"

"Know me so well. Am I that predictable?"

"No." He scoffed. "Quite the opposite, actually. I just….I don't know…I was a teenager too not _that_ long ago."

"Thanks….for everything. I don't know what I would do without you."

"You would be just fine." He assured her. "But thankfully, you don't have to find out."

She smiled before sinking down into her pillows. "So you don't think things with Alex and I will be okay?"

Jackson didn't reply immediately. Instead he shook his head and laughed before pulling her blanket up to her neck. "You worry too much."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Lexie, Alex, and Derek were all fast asleep the next morning when Jackson woke up to take Amber to school. They were all given the next day off to catch up on some well deserved sleep. However, the three returned to the hospital in the late afternoon, wanting to personally transfer Brody from recovery to the ICU. Lexie especially wanted to be there when Scarlett saw him. Derek escorted her through the winding hallways quickly, she was practically sprinting.

"Now, when he wakes up, he is most likely going to be extremely disoriented." Derek warned Scarlett ahead of time.

"Temporary amnesia is very common after this form of brain surgery." Alex added on. "He may not remember who you are at first."

"I highly doubt that." Scarlett scoffed. "I understand what you are saying, but I still want to be the first person he sees when he wakes up."

"That is completely understandable." Derek agreed with a nod. "We just want to make sure that you are prepared if things don't go smoothly when he is first lucid."

"Appreciate your concern. May I go in now?"

"Of course." Derek pushed opened the door to the recovery room and gestured her inside. She pulled a chair to the side of the bed and sat down next to her sleeping husband to wait.

As if sensing her presence, Brody immediately began to stir. Derek, Alex, and Lexie watched from the doorway intently.

"Brody?" Scarlett asked cautiously. "Brody, it's me baby."

He moved his head gently before his eyelids fluttered open. He blinked a few times in an attempt to adjust to the light. Slowly, he looked around and tried to make sense of where he was. He stole a peak to his right and a warm look of recognition spread across his face at the sight of Scarlett.

"My angel." He said sweetly, holding out his hand to caress her cheek.

Tears quickly gathered around the brim of her eyes. "Yeah, honey." She whispered, savoring the affectionate feeling of his hand against her face. "It's me."

"You're here."

"Of course I'm here." She exclaimed softly. A few tears of happiness escaped from her glassy eyes. "I never left."

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

Scarlett threw herself into his arms, no longer able to contain herself. He was back, she had her husband back. "Yes you have." She sniffed. "But I never get tired of hearing it."

"I'm so sorry Scar." He spoke softly, quickly becoming emotional himself.

"For what?" Her face was still pressed into his chest as she took in the familiar scent of the man that she loved more than anything.

"I've been horrible. And you stood beside me the whole way…even though I didn't deserve it."

Scarlett pulled away to look him in the eye. "None of this was your fault." She stoked his arm affectionately. "But they got it, they got it all. Now we get to move on, we get the rest of our lives together."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Brody…" She addressed him.

"Yes, love?"

"I'm pregnant."

For a moment Brody expected the monitor attached to him to start coding, because he was absolutely certain that his heart had just skipped a beat. "We're having a baby?" He asked enthusiastically, wanting nothing more than to jump out of the hospital bed and swing his wife in circles.

"We're having a baby." She confirmed through tears of joy.

"We're having a baby!" He repeated exuberantly before pulling her back against him in a loving embrace.

Derek smiled to himself in the hallway before walking away to give the happy couple some privacy. Lexie turned to do the same and Alex followed after her.

"That was really sweet." Alex commented, knowing that Lexie was most likely all tuned up about it.

"That was amazing." She breathed.

They walked in silence, side by side, replaying the past events in their heads.

"Amber should be back from school any minute." Alex finally stated.

"Oh…" Lexie replied awkwardly, knowing that she was likely the last person Amber would want to speak with.

"I told her she needed to apologize to you."

"Alex, I don't know what to do…I think I really messed things up."

He squeezed her hand sympathetically. "You know Lexie…I guess I had always sort of wished that you would be a little stricter with her because I was jealous of how close you guys are. But, that isn't fair to do to you. You don't have to play the bad guy with her for my sake. I'm okay with it if you want to leave things the way they are."

"I would never undermine you." She assured him.

"I know you wouldn't. I know how much you care about her…and that's enough."

"I just don't know exactly where I'm supposed to fit into her life." Lexie admitted.

"I think you were doing just fine to begin with Lex." Alex said gently. "It's not _my_ job to be her friend. It's my job to help her become a well-functioning member of society. So maybe that's where you come in….I think she could really use a friend."

"I think you're right." She agreed as they stopped walking, suddenly noticing that they were outside of the longue.

"Go talk to her." He urged.

"Thank you Alex." She couldn't express how much this actually meant to her, so she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek before shoving her way through the door to the longue. Amber was sitting on the couch texting.

"Hi." Lexie spoke up first.

"Hey." Amber replied sadly.

"So…."

"I'm sorry about yesterday." Amber said, willing herself not to roll her eyes.

"It's alright. I think we both could have handled things a little bit better."

"Yeah." Amber whispered as she stared at her feet. Lexie took a seat next to her

"I think we should talk." She said.

"Then talk."

"You first." Lexie said. "Just tell me what's on your mind."

"I liked it better when you were my friend." Amber whispered.

"It was a lot easier then." Lexie agreed.

Amber shuffled her feet uncomfortably. She hated how awkward she felt now around the one person she considered a true friend. "So what happens now?"

"Well…" Lexie began. "I think having four people who boss you around at home is plenty."

Amber's eyes brightened, wondering if she had imagined the previous statement. "You mean it?"

"You need at least one person on your side."

"We can go back to the way things were before?" Amber asked hopefully.

"You have to promise that you aren't going to try to take advantage of our friendship though. I'll always be here for you, but I have to be loyal to Alex as well."

"I would never ask you to go against him. You know that right? I think you guys are really good for each other….I just didn't want you to stop being my friend because of him."

"I will always be your friend." Lexie assured her. "But being friends also means being considerate enough to not put me in a position where I get so worried about you that I'm forced to act like an adult in the first place."

"I'm sorry." Amber spoke whole-heartedly. "You were right to be worried. I shouldn't have been such a bitch about it."

"Well I was sort of a bitch too." Lexie admitted. "I kind of went all crazy on you out of nowhere."

"Is Alex still mad at me?"

"He wasn't mad at you, he was just defending me. You know Alex. He's so macho that he forgets I can fight my own battles."

"I told him that I didn't like him." Amber professed.

"It's your brother we're talking about. Believe me, it is not the first time he's heard that statement." Lexie said as she cracked one of her signature smiles, the one she always wore while joking with a close friend. Amber grinned in return.

"So you don't think I hurt his feelings too bad?"

"If Alex took it to heart every time someone said they didn't like him, he would be shacking it up, unemployed and homeless in an alley somewhere."

"Oh?" Amber teased, her usual spark returning to her eyes. "The same one I spent yesterday afternoon smoking with gangsters in?"

"So not funny!"

"I'm hilarious." Amber said in response. Lexie laughed and leaned into the couch in relief, she had managed to fix things after all.

"So…" Amber looked up. "Friends?"

"Best friends." Lexie confirmed with a smile.

* * *

><p><strong>Awwww so precious. Love it? Hate it? Tell me! Reviews are greatly appreciated. XXmaddie<strong>


	11. Crime, Punishment, and Anger Management

**Hello readers! I'm SOOOOO sorry for the long wait! I just finished up with my freshman year of college and moving back home was a lot more work than I anticipated! Who knew I had so much stuff? On top of that, I got a summer job as a nanny so I've been getting settled into my new routine. Now that I'm in the swing of things, updates should return to normal! **

**This chapter is slightly more centered around home life than the hospital, but I felt like we were overdue for some deep, Alex-character-exploration. So I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>**XXXXXXX**

"Oh shit!" Caleb exclaimed, bolting upright off of the pile of pillows on his floor. Amber, who had been lying on his chest, was quickly jostled awake by the sudden movement.

"What is it?" She asked groggily, looking around in confusion as she took in her surroundings.

"We must have fallen asleep! It's after 4:00 in the morning."

"Oh my god!" She could feel her face growing hot as she began to panic. "I am SO dead."

Caleb used his hands to push himself off the ground, shocked by how stiff he felt. His face felt almost crusty from falling asleep while crying. After all, his grandfather had been his hero. He forced his window open and gestured to it. "Come on, I'll walk you."

"No way." She stated adamantly as she glanced at her cell phone. She had at least ten new voicemails. "Only one of us should get in trouble for this. Preferably me."

"I'm not letting you walk back alone."

"Fine, you can walk me to my neighborhood. It's only a block or so from there, I can run it pretty quickly."

"Deal."

After sprinting down Caleb's street, the two of them power-walked through two intersections, not bothering to wait for the appropriate signal. "I can take it from here." She said, her hand still clutched tightly in his.

"You're the best girlfriend in the world, you know that? We haven't even been together that long…and you ran to my house in the middle of the night when I needed you."

"You would do the same for me." She whispered as she kissed his cheek.

"You know I would." He replied tenderly, kissing her for as long as he could despite the feeling of urgency in his stomach. "Run fast." He spoke finally, tilting his head in the general direction of her house. Amber nodded and took off into the shadows.

Five minutes later, Amber was hurling herself down the dimly lit streets of the secluded Seattle neighborhood her house was located in. _Why is it so dark here?_ She thought repeatedly as her sneakers pounded loudly against the pavement. As she finally pushed her way through the foliage of her backyard she caught sight of the kitchen, which was still brightly lit. Not wanting to be caught by whoever was awake at this odd hour, she opted for the side window that led into the dining room. More than six hours earlier, she had begged Lexie to cover for her…just for thirty minutes.

"_His grandfather died! He needs me!" Amber argued frantically to her friend._

"_I already told you that I wouldn't cover for you, Amber." Lexie responded, keeping her voice low as people moved about the house._

"_Please, I'm begging you. Just tell everyone I went to bed. Thirty minutes…I promise." _

_"Alex told you no. It's a school night. We all heard him."_

"_I know, Lexie!" Amber drawled. "He sounded so upset. He really wants me to come over." _

"_You'll see him tomorrow. It's not the end of the world." _

"_I doubt he's coming to school tomorrow. Plus, it wouldn't be the same. He's vulnerable right now."_

_Lexie bit her lip. The friend to Amber and the girlfriend to Alex were locked in a fight to the death deep in her subconscious._

"_You know that you would do this for Alex." Amber finally urged. She knew that it was a low blow, but she was quickly growing desperate. Caleb was the first person who had reached out to her when she arrived in Seattle. She had been broken, lost and terrified of her new life, and he had been a friend to her when everyone else stood at a safe distance. Now it was her chance to return the favor._

"_I swear to god if you aren't back in thirty minutes I'll…." Lexie cut herself off, not knowing what she would actually do to carry out her threat. She would leave that up to Amber's imagination._

"_I promise." Amber nodded eagerly. _

"_Go say goodnight to your brother." Lexie added after a moment. "Say you had a long day and want to turn in early…I'll make sure nobody goes in your room."_

"_Oh my god, I love you." Amber threw her arms around Lexie's neck and pulled her into a friendly embrace._

"_Yeah, yeah." Lexie replied jokingly. "Just get your ass there and get your ass back before anybody notices you're gone. My neck is on the line here too, got it?" _

"_I got it!" Amber replied before turning and running down the hallway to find her brother. _

Amber gulped thinking about Lexie. She knew that it was highly probable Lexie had realized she never returned, and she had no idea what kind of damage this would do to their friendship. Just last week she had made a promise to never take advantage of Lexie. _So much for that. _Amber thought sourly, disgusted with herself for allowing things to get so out of hand.

She attempted to shove the discerning thought out of her mind and stared at the window before her, praying with every fiber of her being that it was unlocked. She placed both of her palms on the glass and pushed upright gently, cringing at the squeak that followed as the window slowly opened. She kicked one leg up above her head and slung it across the window sill, pulling her upper body with her along the way. She managed to climb through the narrow opening she had made and allowed herself to fall onto the hardwood floor below her.

"It's never a good sign when someone is climbing in through a window." A voice sounded from a few feet behind her.

Amber gasped and spun around, still sitting on the floor. She looked up to see Derek glaring down at her with his arms crossed. "Derek!" She exclaimed. "I…didn't see you there."

"Clearly." Derek responded sternly. He held out a hand to Amber. She accepted it wearily and avoided eye contact as he pulled her to her feet.

"This really isn't what it looks like."

"I see. And what is it?" He asked accusingly. "Going out for a leisurely stroll at 4:30 in the morning?"

"Not exactly." She muttered. Unlike Alex, she found it incredibly hard to lie to Derek. It was true that she was somewhat frightened of her brother, but Derek…he was on a whole other level of intimidation. She could barely look up at his hard stare without suddenly feeling like she was shrinking.

Derek placed his hands on her shoulders, holding on firmly until she gathered the courage to look at him. "Lexie was fifteen minutes shy of calling the police." He informed her, sounding as stern as she had ever heard him. "Where the hell were you?"

"I went to see Caleb." She replied truthfully. "We fell asleep on his floor."

Derek took his hands off of her shoulders and pinched the brim of his nose in frustration. _God, kids are stupid._ He thought to himself. He was coming across as angry, but truthfully, he had been scared out of his mind. He came home from work shortly before 4:00 in the morning to find Lexie sitting at the kitchen table, phone in hand, on the verge of tears as she professed that she had lost Amber. She was far too terrified to wake Alex and tell him, so instead she sat in the kitchen and refused to sleep until she knew the young girl was safe.

"Did it ever occur to you, that if social services found out about this, you would be on your way to a foster home?"

Tears sprang to Amber's eyes. How could she have been so stupid? Truthfully, she hadn't even considered the ramifications her actions could have had on her living situation.

Before Amber could answer, Lexie walked into the room. "Lexie…I-" Amber started to defend herself.

"I'm glad you're safe." Lexie replied coldly. "I'm going to sleep."

"Lexie, wait!" Amber called after her, but it was too late. Lexie ignored her and pushed past Derek. She listened as the footsteps grew quieter, followed by the slam of a door. Amber looked back up at Derek nervously.

"You really need to think about these kinds of things before you act impulsively." Derek spoke softly, hoping he had made his point. Just like every other man in their house, Amber had him wrapped tightly around her finger, and he hated to see her upset.

"I'm sorry." She whispered meekly.

"I appreciate that… but I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to."

"I know."

"It's Lexie and Alex you really need to speak with." Derek affirmed. The mention of her brother's name quickly caught her attention.

"You can't tell Alex." She pleaded.

"Of course I'm going to tell Alex." He scoffed. "I think his fifteen year old sister climbing through a window at early hours of the morning is something that concerns him."

"I told you, it was an accident. We fell asleep!"

"Maybe so, but I recall him saying that you couldn't go see Caleb at all because it was a school night."

Amber groaned, she had really done it now. "He was upset." She whined. "He really needed me…so I thought I would go see him for a few minutes, just to cheer him up."

"Somehow I don't think that is a viable excuse."

"I wasn't thinking."

"Damn right you weren't." He agreed with her, his eyes narrow with anger. "You nearly sent Lexie into cardiac arrest….me too. If Meredith had been here, I don't think I would have been able to calm either of them."

Amber shifted her attention downward, feeling incredibly guilty. Somehow, disappointing Lexie and Derek seemed worse than the inevitable lecture she was going to receive from her brother later on.

"And you can thank your lucky stars that Jackson wasn't here." Derek tacked on as an afterthought.

_Oh lord. _Amber thought nervously. If her brother, Lexie, and Derek hadn't already killed her by this evening, she could be certain that Jackson would finish her off.

"I'm going to let your brother deal with you when he wakes up, but if I were you…. I wouldn't plan on leaving this house for a while."

Amber sighed in return, knowing that there wasn't much she could say in her own defense.

"Go get some sleep." Derek finally ordered after a moment of silence. "You have school in a few hours."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber dozed on and off for the next few hours. It was hard to get any rest when she knew she would be dealing with her brother when she woke up. As if on cue, she was startled awake by the sound of her name.

"AMBER ELIZABETH KAREV, KITCHEN RIGHT NOW." Alex's voice boomed through the hallway from the kitchen. Amber could hear his shouting loud and clear, even with her door shut and her headphones in her ears. In fact, she was fairly certain the entire neighborhood could hear. Amber swallowed and slid off of her bed slowly. She had the sudden urge to take her chances and dive out the window again, but opted to go to the kitchen and face the music instead. It was bound to happen eventually.

Amber poked her head in the doorway cautiously. As suspected, Alex was glaring down at her. His arms were crossed tightly and his muscles threatened to burst out of the sleeves of his scrubs at any given moment. Upon seeing him, she reconsidered the window idea again.

"Don't even think about running." Alex commanded, sensing her hesitation. There was no doubt that he was absolutely livid.

"Wasn't gonna." Amber mumbled as she moved her feet onto the cold tile floor.

Alex waited until she glanced up timidly before saying anything. "Well?" He questioned, causing her eyes to return to her feet. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry Alex." Amber said, looking at the ground. She cursed herself silently in her head, wondering how she possibly thought she could get away with something so stupid.

Alex put his thumb and forefinger against his temples, trying to calm himself. This was not what he wanted to wake up to. He wasn't exactly a professional when it came to dealing with anger, but he was trying to learn to be more patient for his sister's sake. "What could you possibly have been thinking?" He finally managed to choke out. As much as he was trying to keep composure, he couldn't deny that it came out with a certain air of hostility.

"I don't know." She replied defensively, suddenly feeling nervous about how much trouble she was in.

"That answer is not going to cut it." He shot back.

"I was trying to be a good girlfriend."

"So you lied." He snapped. "You snuck out. You took advantage of Lexie. You broke my trust."

Amber swallowed again, attempting to rid herself of the lump in her throat. "I didn't mean to."

"You think that makes it okay?"

"No, all I meant was-"

"Stop making excuses." Alex silenced her.

A wave of anger rushed over Amber. Her immediate instinct was to come back at him with a rude comment, but she bit her tongue. Provoking Alex wasn't worth it if she could manage to reign in her attitude. She remained quiet and waited for him to make the next move.

"So you fell asleep there?" He finally asked. He already knew the answer to the question, but he still wanted it reiterated that nothing other than sleeping had happened.

Amber gave a barely noticeable nod, knowing that it wouldn't do her any good to lie now. Derek had probably already told him everything. "But we didn't do anything!" She added desperately. "We just fell asleep!"

Alex didn't respond, he couldn't think of anything to say. He was too angry.

"I take it you're mad?"

Alex gave a condescending chuckle. "What do you think?"

"Probably." She muttered.

"Well I hope it was worth it, Amber."

"I doubt it."

"Go bring me your laptop." He dictated.

"What?"

"You're grounded." Alex asserted firmly. "Three weeks. No going out, no phone, no internet. You don't so much as go into the backyard without permission. Am I clear?"

"Three weeks?" She questioned, fueled by a sudden burst of courage.

"Yes, two from me and one from everyone else you put through hell last night."

"I didn't rob a bank Alex! I just wanted to cheer up my boyfriend. His grandfather died!"

"I get that, Amber. And that is very sad, but you lied to me and I don't care about anything other than that. You walked to his house in the middle of the night. Do you know how dangerous that is? You asked Lexie to cover for you. You fell asleep there and Derek found you climbing through a window at 4:30 in the morning. What part of that sounds okay to you?"

"Why can't you just give me a break for once?" She yelled. "I get it, I screwed up yet again! I'm sorry I can't be perfect!"

"Don't raise your voice at me!" He shouted back, suddenly finding it very hard to control his temper.

"When you were my age, you went out to see girls all the time! I saw you!"

"That's different, Amber. I didn't have someone who cared enough to stop me."

"Well do me a favor, and stop caring! I don't need you on my ass all the time!" She replied, still not lowering her voice.

"Like it or not, it's my job to care! That's not going to change kiddo!"

"Fuck you." She said quietly, more to herself than to him. That didn't stop him from hearing it though.

"That's it!" Alex screamed, his fury finally consuming the single ounce of control he had left. He flipped over the nearest kitchen chair which landed on the floor with a loud crash. Amber took a step back, not recognizing the fire in her brother's eyes. "I _dare _you to keep arguing with me. Let's see how far it gets you."

Amber remained in the doorway, frozen in her spot. She knew she had provoked him, but still….the anger he was exhibiting was all too familiar.

"Now…" Alex hissed, fury still clouding his thoughts. "I suggest you go to your room and get ready for school before things get any worse."

Amber hurried out of the kitchen and down the hallway without another word. As soon as she slammed her door shut, she threw herself on to her bed and clutched her pillow against her chest. She suddenly realized that she was shaking. For some reason, she had legitimately been afraid of what Alex might do. It's not that she thought he might actually hit her…but something about his temper was so out of control that she wasn't quite sure.

Once she had finally calmed down, she got dressed and did her hair slowly. For the first time, she wanted nothing more than to go to school. If anything, she was hoping for a large pile of homework that would give her an excuse to stay late in the library after soccer practice.

A knock on her bedroom door sounded. Amber's heart began to race slightly as she wondered whether it was Alex. _Calm down, you idiot. _She scolded herself. _It's your brother. Why are you so jumpy? _

"Just a second!" She called as she slung her book bag over her shoulder. She took a deep breath before turning the knob and was rather relieved to find Derek on the other side.

"I'm taking you to school today. Are you ready?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh and Alex says you need to give me your laptop before you leave. You can take your phone to school though."

"Where is he?"

"He already left for work." Derek replied, attempting to sound nonchalant. Amber knew that he had left early on purpose. Had she really made him so angry that he couldn't even stand the sight of her?

"Gotcha." She replied. "So what if I have homework and need a computer later?"

"I guess you'll have to use it in the kitchen."

Amber considered protesting for a moment, but decided she had done enough damage that morning. The last thing she needed was for Derek to start throwing chairs too. She dragged her feet over to her desk and unplugged her computer before placing it in Derek's hands. He tucked it under his arm. "Alright, let's get going."

Amber walked out to the driveway and stood by the passenger side door of Derek's car, waiting for him to find his keys. Once he made it outside, she climbed into the car in silence, not particularly feeling like morning small-talk. Derek, however, had other plans.

"What happened with you and your brother this morning?" He implored once the engine had started.

"What always does." Amber replied coldly. "He didn't want to deal with me…so he walked out."

"There has to be more to it than that." Derek argued.

"Not really." She assured him. "He grounded me, I argued, he threw a chair, I went to go get ready for school…and he left. End of story."

"I'm sorry, I think I'm losing my mind…did you just say he threw a chair?"

"Yes."

"He actually _threw _a chair?"

"Do we have to talk about this?" Amber snapped, wanting to forget the events of that morning. It was all she was going to be able to think about for the next three weeks and she didn't feel like starting now.

"No, we don't." Derek replied. They spent the rest of the drive in silence, but the whole time, Derek was scheming. He cared about Amber, but he cared about Alex too, and his actions were seriously concerning. It wasn't the first time that the attending at Seattle Grace had spoken to him about his temper, but this would have to be different. His actions didn't occur at the hospital. Therefore, he would have to be very careful with how he approached him. One thing was for sure though. That man needed to learn to control himself.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Lexie walked through the halls of the hospital like a ghost. Needless to say, she hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, and she was obviously still angry about the events that had played out. _Not nearly as angry as Alex probably is. _She thought nervously. She was supposed to be working in the pit, but she kept finding herself roaming the hospital looking for Alex. After what seemed like forever, she finally spotted him.

"Alex!" Lexie called, quickening her stride to reach the preoccupied resident. He was standing at the nurse's station shuffling through his charts for the day. He didn't even bother looking up as she approached him.

"What?" Alex asked irritably as she stared at him. He had dealt with enough this morning and Lexie was one of the last people he wanted to talk to at the current moment.

"I just wanted to apologize for last night, I had no idea that Amber was going to...you know. I mean, I know she messed up, but I'm just as much to blame as she is…and I'm really sorry."

"Don't go so easy on her." Alex snapped. "She manipulated you...and you let her."

"I know." Lexie said, her cheeks burning as she realized how angry Alex was with her.

"At least I knew how to handle Amber." He continued. "But you…I don't really know exactly how to deal with what I'm feeling towards you right now. There isn't a simple way for me to get past it."

"Yes, I know I messed up…but it's been really hard to find a happy medium between being her friend and your…whatever we are."

"Then I'll make it really easy for you." Alex retorted coldly. "Let's take a break…at least until you've figured out how to handle your relationship with my sister."

"Alex!" She exclaimed. She didn't expect this. She knew he would be angry, but it never occurred to her that he would be so quick to throw in the towel. "You don't mean that."

"I really do." He answered angrily. "I have a teenager to raise. I thought you could handle that, but I guess not." With that having been said, Alex scooped up his stack of charts and left Lexie to stand at the nurse's station dumfounded.

Derek, who overheard the whole thing, quickly walked around the corner and into Alex's sight.

"Karev, come with me." Derek ordered as he flew past him in the opposite direction, not even bothering to stop to allow Alex to catch up. Alex picked up his pace until he reached Derek's side.

"What's going on?"

"I had an interesting talk with Amber this morning." Derek commented. Between what Amber had told him on the way to school and what he had just overheard with Lexie, it was clear that Alex needed a little lesson anger management. It's one thing to be stressed, but it becomes a completely different story when you start taking it out on others.

Alex groaned and placed his palm over his face. "Yes, I got slightly out of control, but-"

"Throwing a chair is not what I would call _slightly_ out of control."

"I didn't _throw_ it…I knocked it over."

Derek stopped outside of a patient's room and turned to face Alex. "Do you want your sister to respect you?" He asked in a hushed tone.

"Of course I do!"

"Then you need to learn how to control your anger. There's a fine line between respect and fear…and you're dancing with it."

"She's not afraid of me!" Alex argued frantically, trying to convince himself more Derek. He knew what it was like to be afraid of the people who were allegedly supposed to be taking care of you, and he did not want his sister to ever experience that.

"Maybe not yet, but you are pushing it."

"I would never hurt her." Alex asserted firmly, pointing a finger in Derek's face. Who the hell did he think he was? Was he honestly suggesting that Amber feared him? That was ridiculous.

"Calm down, Karev." Derek replied calmly. "Of course you wouldn't hurt her, but you probably did scare the hell out of her, and that's not fair either."

"I'm working on my anger. It's not going to fix itself overnight. At least I calmed down by the time I got here."

"Oh really?" Derek questioned sarcastically. "So what was that I just overheard with Lexie?"

Alex's eyes narrowed. "What's going on between me and Lexie is none of your business."

"Fair enough." He rejoined. "But either way, I have a case I would like you to join."

Before Alex could open his mouth to ask a single question, Derek had entered the patient's room they had been standing outside.

"Dr. Sheppard." The patient acknowledged as the two entered. He looked somewhat older, Alex guessed in his late 50's to early 60's. His cheeks sagged with permanent frown lines, his forehead was wrinkled, and his hair was an even shade of silver.

"Dr. Karev, I would like you to meet Richard McGhee. He was admitted after health complications due to chronic anger."

"Chronic anger?" Alex couldn't help but ask. This had to be some kind of a joke, it was far too convenient.

"If you ask me doc, you're making a mountain out of a mole hill." Mr. McGhee spoke up. "I've always had high blood pressure."

"Oh?" Derek questioned. "And I suppose you've always had heart disease as well?"

Mr. McGhee exhaled and sunk back into his bed.

"When you experience emotions like anger or hostility, your stress hormones speed up your heart rate and give you a surge of energy. Your blood pressure rises and your blood vessels constrict." Derek began to explain. Although he was speaking with his patient, he stole a glance or two in Alex's direction. "This reaction is a good thing….for emergencies. However, high cortisol and adrenaline levels cause wear and tear on the heart and cardiovascular system."

"I take it that isn't good?" Mr. McGhee asked sarcastically.

"No." Derek said, ignoring the snide comment. "You're making your heart work a lot harder than it has to."

Mr. McGhee couldn't think of anything to say in response. He had never believed that he was _that _angry. Then again, he had driven away his wife, his children, and basically all of his close friends. Perhaps it was time for him to make a change.

"The bottom line is, if you do not start learning to control your anger…it could literally kill you."

Mr. McGhee shifted uncomfortably in his bed. He hadn't been aware that being angry could cause these sorts of problems. Of course he had always been the hot tempered one of the family, so it didn't come as much of a surprise when he found out about his blood pressure issues. But _this_…how had things literally come down to a matter of life and death?

"I suppose I have some work to do." He admitted.

"I agree." Derek confirmed. "Dr. Karev, would you mind finishing up Mr. McGhee's medical history? I am going to go order a few tests. I'll be back shortly."

Alex nodded, still somewhat in shock. He pulled up a chair and tried to collect himself. He had been taught all throughout medical school that it was a dangerous game to begin recognizing yourself in your patients. But this time, he couldn't help it. Chronic anger? He didn't know such a condition even existed until now. Obviously this had been Derek's intention, but he wasn't anywhere near as bad as this guy, right? But still…the more he thought about it, the more he came to the conclusion that anger was far too present in his life, just like Mr. McGhee. This morning, Amber had acted like a normal teenager. She tested him, he punished her, and as expected, she argued. So what did he do? He threw a chair instead of talking to her calmly. The most important person in his life and he was well on his way to making her terrified of him. Not to mention, the obvious health risks accompanied by hot tempered nature.

"So…" Mr. McGhee said, sounding level headed for one of the first times. "What did you do to piss that guy off?"

"I'm sorry?" Alex asked, caught off guard by the sudden advice.

"He obviously wanted you to meet me." He clarified. "So what is it? Your anger get the best of you too? Did you punch a co-worker or something?"

"What makes you think I'm angry?" Alex spat out defensively.

"Well you sound pretty angry right now."

"I have my moments."

"Then do something about it. Don't let it get like this…when there's no turning back."

"Dude, don't say it like that. You aren't dead yet. Trust me…you can have a second chance if you want one."

"What's the point of a second chance if I have nothing to fight for?" He questioned lugubriously. "I ran off damn near everyone in my life. My folks are dead, my son and daughter want nothing to do with me, and don't even get me started on my ex-wife."

"I'm probably not the best person to go to for advice on this subject." Alex responded truthfully. "But if you do want my opinion, don't sit here and feel sorry for yourself. You aren't going to get anywhere if you don't make a move. Call your kids, make some apologies, do something."

"They probably won't want to talk to me."

"Then keep calling." Alex replied. "You would be surprised at the kind of things that people come to forgive."

"Do you have any kids?" Mr. McGhee inquired.

Alex paused for a second in hesitation. "Yes." He finally answered, realizing that it was the honest to god truth.

"And your relationship with them…is it similar to mine?"

"It was." Alex replied, as much as he hated to admit it. "But I built some bridges back and things are looking up. I still have a lot of work ahead of me though."

"Yeah." Mr. McGhee said softly, feeling surprisingly comforted. "I guess I do too."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Alex arrived home a few hours later. He would never admit it out loud, but he would forever be grateful for what Derek did for him today. For surgeons, emotions are tricky, especially when it comes to the touchy-feely kind. It was a subtle gesture on Derek's part, at first coming across as disapproval. However, Alex was beginning to realize things were more complicated than that. It had been an interesting way to find out that Derek not only cared about his little sister…but cared about him as well. Somewhere along the line, they had become family.

As always, Alex found himself walking down the hallway to his sisters room wondering what he would say when he arrived. He normally just tried to wing it, and generally it worked. This time, however, he couldn't afford to screw up.

He stopped outside of her closed door and took a deep breath. He was just as scared to talk to her as she probably was to speak with him. It was a tricky game, coming into a girl's life after being absent for so much of it and then expecting to call the shots. If fact, it was a tricky game learning to be a parent entirely, and Alex wished that his sister could understand that. He was subject to fallibility just as much her.

"Hey kiddo." He said, pushing open her door and peaking in. Amber was lying in her bed staring at the ceiling.

"Hi." She replied meekly without looking over. Alex cautiously made his way over to her bed.

"Mind if I sit down?"

Amber shrugged, attempting to seem nonchalant. "Go ahead."

The bed jostled slightly under Alex's weight as he plopped down by her feet. He took a good look at his sister, praying with all of his might that she wasn't afraid of him now. "I shouldn't have gotten so angry earlier." He spoke apologetically.

"It's ok." She replied, barely above a whisper. "It was my fault."

"No, Amber, it wasn't." He sighed. "I wasn't thrilled with your behavior, but how I handled it…that was nobody's fault but my own."

Amber sat up, but remained quiet. A million things were running through her mind at the speed of light. The events of the morning seemed like a distant blur to her now as she tried to piece them together. The one thing that she could remember the most vividly was how much her brother had frightened her.

"You sounded like dad." She muttered sadly, hugging her knees to her chest. "At least what I can remember of him."

Alex took a deep breath, attempting to relieve the sting from his sister's last sentence. Those words cut him like a knife. "Amber, I would _never_ hurt you. You do know that, right?"

"I know." She mumbled, still looking at her bed spread. "It was just scary, that's all."

Alex was completely beside himself, wondering how he could have let his anger get the best of him like that. "Come here." He finally spoke, holding out his arms invitingly. He hoped that he hadn't damaged things beyond repair.

Amber hesitated briefly where she was sitting before crawling to the edge of the bed and allowing her older brother to wrap his arms tightly around her. She leaned into his chest and realized how safe she actually felt. Suddenly she regretted her previous statement.

"Alex, I didn't mean that." Amber blurted out. "I just meant…it was similar…it was…you were just so angry." She stumbled over every word before finally giving up, hoping that he got the point that she didn't consider him to be anything like their father.

"Shhhh." He cut her off, his chin resting on the top of her head as he held onto her. "I know what you meant."

"You're not anything like him." She clarified.

"I hope not." He still sounded somewhat doubtful.

"You aren't…you could never be. I don't remember much of it, but as far as I know, all of his anger came from drinking."

"My anger came from love." Alex confirmed. "And worry….and me being a hot-head."

"I'm sorry I messed up." She said, pulling away to look at him. He pushed a lock of hair to the side of her face.

"You don't have to be perfect, Amber. God knows I'm not. And that's okay… because one of the best ways we learn is through our mistakes…I just want you to take something away from all of this."

Amber considered this for a moment. "I will if you will." She agreed.

Alex nodded, swallowing to contain his emotions. "I'm so sorry, Amber." He squeezed her shoulder.

"Sorry enough to knock a week off?" She offered a hopeful, half smile.

Alex smiled, happy to hear the humor return in his sister's voice. It was almost enough to make him give in. "No." He replied, doing his best to stay firm. "In fact, Jackson was trying to convince me to make it four weeks, but I talked him out of it."

Amber smiled slightly. "Jackson would." She paused, suddenly wondering just how many bridges she had burned the night before. "Is he really mad?"

"He's not happy about the whole ordeal…but you two will be fine. He loves you."

Suddenly Amber was reminded of the hurt she had seen in Lexie's early that morning. She had no doubt that things would be okay between her and Jackson…but what about Lexie? Lexie was the one that she had betrayed. "I need to go talk to Lexie." She announced suddenly.

"Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"Not if you want me to get any sleep."

Alex nodded in understanding. "Go to bed when you're done."

"Thank you." She replied before jetting out of bed and down the hallway. As she climbed the stairs and the attic door came into her sight, she suddenly felt nervous. She opened the door and walked up the dusty wooden steps. Before emerging into the actual bedroom, she knocked on the wall next to the landing. "Can I come in?" She asked.

"Yeah." Lexie replied, sounding rather emotionless. Her guilt had faded into anger shortly after her conversation with Alex. She had lost him, and it was because Amber couldn't do as she was told.

Amber walked in and found Lexie in bed, the covers pulled up to her waist. She looked up from the book she was reading. Her eyes were dim, un-amused and clearly still hurt.

"Hi." Amber offered. The tension of the room was unbearable, threatening to engulf her with every second of silence that passed.

"Hey." Lexie replied lifelessly. She folded the corner of the page she had been reading and tossed her book to the side. She kept her focus straight ahead, unable to look at Amber for a long period of time.

"Lexie, I'm _really_ sorry." Amber finally gathered the courage to say.

Her older friend sighed in reply. "I shouldn't have agreed to cover for you…it's something I swore I would never do."

"I shouldn't have asked you to."

"No you shouldn't have." Lexie agreed, still somewhat irritated. "You took advantage of me."

"I wasn't trying to." Amber spoke quietly, now on the verge of tears. "I don't know if I've ever felt this guilty about something before."

"Do you even know how devastated we would all be if something happened to you?"

Amber honestly didn't. When you are young, any amount of time, even a year, feels like forever. She had spent seven years, seven grudgingly long years feeling like nobody on this earth cared about her, especially her brother. She never imagined she would find herself living in a house, literally surrounded by people who concerned themselves with her every move. It was still too soon for her to fully understand that other people were now affected by her actions as well. Nevertheless, she nodded.

"It would rip this place apart. You've become…family. It feels like you've always been here, I couldn't imagine you anywhere else."

"I'm really sorry. I swear, I'll never ask you to cover for me again."

"Amber." Lexie turned to face her. The hurt in her eyes was evident. "Believe me, I want to be able to tell you that everything is ok…but I can't."

A tear slowly trickled down Amber's cheek. "Why not?" She whispered.

"Because we lost something last night." Lexie responded assertively.

"Will we ever get it back?"

"I honestly don't know."

Amber didn't say anything. She just turned her attention to the floor. She had no idea how she managed to mess things up so badly.

"And it's my fault too. I made the choice to be your friend instead of an adult. But the thing is, I _am_ and adult….and you _are _a child. It complicates things, especially when you pull a stunt like you did last night."

"So what does this mean?" Amber asked, her voice audibly shaking. "You want me out of your life or something?"

"No." Lexie replied. She was obviously struggling with her next sentence. Her heart and her brain were telling her two different things entirely. Finally she gathered her composure and spoke up. "We're just no longer friends."

* * *

><p><strong>Oh dear! Big time drama! Tell me what you thought of it! Your reviews definitely help me to write faster. And please let me know if there is anything you would like to see happen, that always helps me with my writer's block. Until next time xxMaddie <strong>


	12. Winning Goal

****Sorry for uploading thischapter twice. My keyboard has been a little screwy lately and there were some typos that were driving me crazy.**

**First of all I am SO SO SORRY for the wait. I went on vacation for three weeks and forgot my laptop. I was seriously freaking out the whole time, not wanting to disappoint you guys. I even tried to write a little on my cell phone haha! Thanks to all my readers for waiting so patiently for this chapter. I think you will be pleased. Enjoy! **

**P.S. I could really use some feedback on what you guys think about me including the shooting (end of season six) in this story. Should I skip it and go straight to the timeline of season seven, or would you like to see how I include Amber in the tragedy? I would also like your opinion on whether you would like Zola's adoption to be a part of the story as well. Any feedback helps!**

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber had never fully understood the expression 'you could cut the tension with a knife' until she found herself sitting at a dinner table with Meredith, Derek, and Lexie. Meredith was chipper as always, Derek seemed normal as well, and Lexie…she shoved her peas around on her plate wordlessly.

Amber had been on house arrest for over a week now and it was a thousand times worse than she ever could have imagined. It wasn't necessarily the boredom that was bothering her (although that certainly didn't help), but rather the awkwardness she felt towards everyone around her, especially Lexie. Alex continually reassured her that their view of her had not changed. They still thought she was a great kid and didn't think any less of her. As nice as it was to hear that, Amber couldn't help but call bullshit, given the way that Lexie had been treating her. Then there was also Jackson, who never passed up an opportunity to remind her that she had deserved to be in trouble and had no right to sulk about it. It was honestly exhausting. Not to mention, now that it was Saturday, she hadn't even had the refuge of school to save her. At least there she had the comfort of her boyfriend and her teammates.

For the past twenty minutes Derek had been attempting to spark a conversation that would include everyone, but kept failing miserably. Lexie wanted no part of their dinner small talk and Amber wanted no part of a conversation that she clearly wasn't wanted in.

"How was school yesterday?" Derek asked for the second time. He was running out of things to say and had resorted to repeating himself.

"Fine." Amber recited dully.

"And soccer practice?"

"Good." She replied, perking up a bit at the mention of the one fun part of her week. "Coach Yates is really drilling us lately."

"That's right! The big game is tomorrow!" Meredith clapped her hands together cheerfully, referring to the town's infamous soccer rivalry between the two largest high schools.

"Yes." Amber responded. She quickly glanced over at Lexie, who was showing no interest whatsoever, before returning her attention to Meredith and Derek. "He says I've been doing so well in practice that he's going to let me start."

"That's amazing!" Derek praised. Having grown up in a family of jocks, he was rather anxious to see the young athlete at work. "Two months in Seattle and you've already made it to the starting line…not to mention as a sophomore!"

"Will you be there?" Amber asked. She knew that Derek and Meredith would be there without a doubt, work permitted, but she was more curious about Lexie.

"I wouldn't miss it!" Derek replied with a grin.

Meredith nodded in agreement. "Lexie?" She asked, looking up at her sister.

"I picked up an double shift….starting tonight." She responded without looking up to meet her eyes. She didn't need to look at Derek and Meredith to sense their disappointment.

"Lexie." Derek scolded under his breath, glancing nervously in Amber's direction.

Amber did her best to hide how hurt she was, knowing very well that Lexie had picked up that shift on purpose. Meredith reached across the table and grabbed her hand affectionately.

"I for one cannot wait to see you play." She spoke up.

Amber offered a smile in return. "I'm so nervous…but I'm really happy you're coming."

Meredith opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off as a key began to jingle behind them. The back door flew open and Jackson dragged his feet through the door, ready to collapse in a heap.

"Food?" He questioned, not bothering with pleasantries. Meredith pointed her fork toward the large platter of Greek chicken next to the stove.

"Thank you." He grunted before swiping a plate off of the counter.

"We're not just coming." Derek resumed their previous conversation. "We're going to be your own personal cheer squad."

"Please don't start dancing." Amber begged with a giggle.

"No promises."

"What? The soccer game?" Jackson inquired as he took a seat next to Amber. "Oh, there will be dancing."

Amber laughed, wondering exactly how serious they were being. She could never tell with the men in this house. "Did Alex get work off?"

"Of course, Alex asked off over a week ago." Meredith informed her.

"He remembered?" She asked in shock.

"Yeah." Derek revealed his dimples. "He did."

Amber stared down at her plate, smiling like an idiot. Even after everything that happened, Alex hadn't forgotten.

"What do you say we get these dishes done?" Meredith broke the silence. "You know, a little extra practice with your teamwork skills?"

"Oh, I've got teamwork skills." Amber teased.

Jackson tossed a used napkin across the table at her before resuming devouring his food. "Good, let's see if they can evolve into maid skills."

Amber giggled and gathered the remaining napkins to throw away. "So there's no way you can change your shift?" She asked hopefully, glancing over her shoulder at Lexie.

"I don't know. It would be a pretty big hassle. I'd have to get it approved, find someone to switch shifts with me and…" Lexie trailed off, realizing that finding someone to take her shift was about all she would really have to do, but she really didn't feel like admitting that. "It's just not likely."

"Oh." Amber's face quickly turned to face the floor.

"Did you finish all of your homework?" Derek asked as the four of them cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher. He wanted to change the subject as quickly as possible before Lexie made an even larger ass of herself.

"Yes." Amber responded quietly.

"Your brother said you could watch some television if you finished your homework and didn't give us a hard time." He informed her, hoping it would cheer her up. She was obviously bothered by Lexie's blatant disregard for her soccer game.

"Really?" She replied with a forced smile.

"Yeah, go right ahead."

"Thanks Derek!" Amber grinned, thrilled for the opportunity to do anything other than stare at the walls of her room.

"Lexie, what the hell is wrong with you?" Derek demanded once Amber was out of ear shot.

"What?" She questioned defensively.

"That was just cruel." Jackson chimed in. "She's a smart kid and you are a ridiculously bad liar."

"Well what am I supposed to do guys? Reward her for what she did to me last week? I already told her that we aren't friends anymore."

"Lexie that's not fair and you know it." Meredith, who had remained silent until now, finally spoke up. "She's already been punished for what she did. You don't need to try to make her feel any worse."

"I'm not _trying_ to do anything." Lexie argued. "Things are still awkward between us and I figured it would be best if I wasn't there. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a double shift to get ready for." Having said that, Lexie threw down the dish towel she was holding and stormed up the stairs.

"Poor Amber." Meredith said quietly to Derek.

"Your sister is way too hard headed."

"Remind you of anyone?" She asked with a grin.

"Maybe…but even you wouldn't do that. Amber's just a kid, a good kid who made a mistake."

"I don't think that Lexie doubts she's a good kid." Meredith defended her sister. "But I do think that she's going a little too far by ignoring her."

"Maybe you could talk to her?"

"I think it's Alex she really needs to talk to. In my opinion, she's still angry that he broke up with her over this."

"No way! He broke up with her?" Derek exclaimed, suddenly realizing that he sounded like an overly excited teenage girl.

"Flat out dumped her. He started spouting off about how she clearly couldn't handle him having to raise a teenager." Jackson cut in.

"Ouch."

"I know, right?" Meredith smiled, loving the way she could gossip with the men in her house like three old women in a hair salon.

Jackson rose from his chair with a clean plate and carried it over to the sink. "I'll go keep Amber company." He volunteered before leaving the Meredith and Derek to their alone time.

Derek glanced at his wife in anticipation, grateful for the chance to spend some quality time with her for once. "Alone at last." He spoke up suggestively.

"Enough with the chit chat." She spoke sharply, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "Race you upstairs!"

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><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Alex rubbed his eyes and glanced at his watch. Time was moving at a snail's pace, and he wanted to get home and spent what was left of his Saturday night with Amber. He hadn't been home much this week and was beginning to feel guilty about leaving his parenting duties to his housemates. Nonetheless, he felt his dedication to the hospital this week was the best thing for him at the moment. He had spent almost the entire week following Arizona Robbins around like a trained seal. She had casually mentioned the idea of him becoming her "Peeds fellow" a few days ago in passing and he hadn't been able to get it out of his mind since. Now, Saturday had rolled around and his mind was focused solely on two things. One, waiting for Lexie's shift to begin, and two, the new case he had just been handed. Approaching the pediatric wing, he could feel blood surging through his body with excitement, ready to show Arizona that he was the person for the job. It wasn't until he had been fully briefed on the matter that his elation quickly faded.

"She just a baby…I mean…two, maybe three at most." Alex breathed. "They found her in an alleyway?"

Arizona cringed at the mental image of this adorable, curly-haired blonde child alone in an alleyway in downtown Seattle at night. "Tests show that she has a congenital heart defect. The cops believe that might be why the parents abandoned her."

"Well, what kind are we talking about?" Alex pressed. "I'm no cardio-god, but isn't it common for an atrial septal defect to close on its own with no complications?"

"Think about what an ASD is, Dr. Karev. It is, in plain terms, a hole in the heart. Some are as small as a pinhole, rarely having serious symptoms. When they get larger….things get complicated."

"So rather than deal with it, the parents dumped her off on the streets?" He could feel anger rising in his chest. The stupidity of the human race never ceased to astound him.

"I contacted social services about an hour ago, but she's going to need surgery…" Arizona trailed off in defeat.

"Which makes adoption unlikely." Alex finished her thought for her.

"Not many people want a kid with medical issues." She agreed.

"Then we better do a real good job of fixing her up."

Arizona couldn't help but smile. Alex's growing interest in pediatric surgery was beginning to reflect very positively in his work. There was a fire within him, an undeniable passion for what he did that had only grown stronger over the past couple of months. He was happier, and everyone could tell.

Alex glanced in through the window, gazing at the small child fast asleep in her hospital bed. She was so tiny, defenseless and unknowing to the evils of this world. It wasn't fair for her to be exposed to them at such a young age. Maybe it hit close to home for him, remembering all that Amber had witnessed when she was equally as small, but he felt it was his duty to help this child. His thoughts were instantly clouded as he saw Teddy Altman roaming the hallway with Lexie in tow.

"Dr. Altman is here." He informed Arizona, never taking his eyes off of Lexie for a second.

Given the age of the patient, Arizona felt that it was necessary to consult with Seattle Grace's 'cardio god' before making the appropriate arrangements for the ASD surgery. Raising a hand, she waved Teddy in her direction. Lexie hung back hesitantly.

"What have we got?" Teddy questioned, craning her neck to peak in at the sleeping patient. Her mouth formed a thin line upon noticing how young she was.

"A very large atrial septal defect." Arizona replied.

"Can you show me the scans?"

"Of course, follow me."

And with that Alex and Lexie were left standing face to face in the silence of an empty hallway. Lexie quickly turned to make her escape before Alex reached out.

"Wait!" He grabbed her wrist gently. "Please just hear me out."

Lexie crossed her arms in defiance, wanting to make it clear that she was less than thrilled with him.

"I never should have said those things to you. It wasn't your fault. Amber is more than capable of making decisions on her own, and she's the one that has to pay for those choices…not you."

"Do you even understand how guilty I felt Alex?" Lexie hissed. "What I did made me sick to my stomach. I was truly sorry…and you didn't even care! It was so easy for you to write me off."

"Lexie, it was exactly the opposite!" He protested adamantly. "I regretted what I said ten seconds after I left the room and I've been trying to gather up the courage to apologize since."

"You're a jerk." She stated plainly. "You know that?"

"A cute jerk though?" He attempted his signature smile. The blank stare he received in return told him that it was far too early for jokes. He sighed. "Lexie, I know I was wrong. I was sitting in there talking to Amber about how the best way we learn is through our mistakes and…I realized just how hypocritical I was being."

"What do you mean?" Lexie inquired, thoroughly enjoying his repentance.

"I mean that you have done so much to help me out these last couple of months, and it's understandable that you might slip up every once and a while. I sure have…multiple times."

"Look, Alex…it's not that I don't appreciate what you're saying, but…." She allowed her voice to trail off, recalling the last time she attempted an argument with Alex. He was far too proud to stand there wordlessly while being called out about anything. It didn't' seem worth it.

"But what?" He questioned. "I'm listening."

Lexie sighed. "It's exhausting Alex, it really is…trying to be perfect for you all the time. What you're saying is something I've been dying to hear for some time now, but how do I know you're serious? What happens the next time I piss you off, huh?"

Alex said nothing in reply. Perhaps he had been too naïve, expecting some glorious reunion between the two of them.

"You know, you have a really bad habit of walking away when things don't work out for you and I don't know if I can be a part of that…it hurts too much." Lexie continued.

"No." He cut her off. "I'm done walking away."

She blinked at him in return. Words were wonderful, but she wanted results. As much as she wanted to throw herself into his arms, some infinitesimal portion of her heart was stopping her from trusting him.

"Well that's a lie." Alex suddenly blurted out. "I walk away…it's what I do. I get angry too much, I say mean things, I make inappropriate jokes, I run from my feelings, and I have some irrational fear of allowing people to see me when I'm vulnerable."

"So what you just said was a lie?" Lexie spat. "How do you expect us to work out if you're just going to keep running from me whenever things get tough?"

"No. That' not what I'm saying at all Lexie." He cut in. "I just can't promise to be a changed man. I can't guarantee you that I'll instantly fix something that has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. I can't promise I won't run from things that seem like too much to handle….but I can promise that I'm done running away from _you_."

Lexie's harsh demeanor quickly melted to a puddle at her feet. "That's good." She admitted in relief. "Because it's really exhausting chasing you all the time."

Alex took a step closer. "Just so you know, I don't blame you at all for what happened. Amber's safe and that's all that matters. Anything else is just a meaningless detail."

"I really did need to hear you say that." She said, allowing the gap between the two of them to shrink. "It's like I've been drowning in all of this guilt…guilt about what I did to you, guilt about how harsh I was with Amber…."

"How were you harsh with Amber?" Alex silenced her inquisitively.

"I told her that we couldn't be friends anymore."

A frown spread across Alex's face, not out of despair or anger, but rather confusion. "Why did you want to do something like that?" He didn't necessarily disagree with her decision, but he was curious to the method behind her reasoning.

"It's not fair to her, Alex." Lexie spoke adamantly. "There are rules in our house for a reason and I'm not trying to purposely undermine them…but as long as I'm only her friend, I do it without meaning to. I constantly feel like I have to validate myself as her friend while also making sure I don't step into your territory. It's too confusing for her."

"I agree with you." Alex offered after a moment of contemplation.

"You do?"

"Yeah…I do." He restated. "She'll be okay, Lexie. She may not always like it, but she is surrounded by people who love her….and that's enough."

"I just wish it was easier for me. I mean look at her and Jackson. They have something that mostly resembles a friendship, and he tells her what to do all the time without her freaking out."

"Yeah, well that's just Jackson for you. He makes everything work out the way he wants. You know, the kind of guy who makes everything seem so simple."

"Asshole." She muttered.

Alex laughed. "You'll figure things out with Amber, but in the mean time, ignoring her probably isn't going to help."

Lexie cringed. She hoped Alex hadn't noticed. Obviously it wasn't the right way to handle things, but her knowledge of how to deal with teenagers was as shallow as a shower.

"I just need some time."

"You can have your time." Alex nodded. "But she doesn't understand the way you're acting and eventually it's really going to start to hurt her….so just don't take too long."

Lexie took a minute to comprehend Alex's words. She wasn't trying to hurt Amber; that was never her intention. In fact, if anything, she wanted to protect her.

"And once I figure things out with Amber…where does that leave us?"

"Is there any possible way that we could just undo last week?" Alex asked timidly. He knew it was a lot to ask, considering the way he had treated her.

"You're saying that you want to start over?"

"Exactly." He clarified, hoping that she would feel the same way.

"As long as you don't do something cheesy like shake my hand and re-introduce yourself." She teased.

Alex laughed heartily. He didn't plan on going _that_ cliché'. "I was thinking more along the lines of a relationship….something I should have done a while ago."

She raised her eyebrow, wondering if he was being legitimate.

"I've let you walk around thinking of us as 'whatever we are.' I should have just told you what I wanted from the beginning. I don't want you to see other people. I want you to be with me. There's no need to hurry. We can take our time, but eventually…that is where I would like this to end up."

"Alright." Lexie said compliantly.

"Alright what?"

"Alright…let's take it from there. We'll spend some time together and work in that direction."

"You make it sound like a business transaction."

"I don't mean to make it sound so formal, but obviously I have my reservations."

"I know." Alex sighed. "And that's my fault…so I'll take it as slow as you want."

"Thank you." She replied sincerely, feeling incredibly thankful that she hadn't lost him entirely.

Alex leaned in and kissed her cheek quickly before returning to his original position. "I have to get going. I feel like I haven't seen Amber all week. See you at home?"

"I'll be there." She nodded with a half smile, feeling the happiest she had been all week.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber glanced up at the clock again. She wished Alex would hurry up and get home already. It was 10:00 on a Saturday night and she was sitting motionlessly in the living room under watchful eye of Jackson Avery. It was pure torture. To make matters worse, Lexie had just left for her own double shift that would extend well into tomorrow night without so much as a 'Good luck.'

"Amber quit moping." Jackson ordered as he watched her scowl at the television screen in front of her. "It's your fault that you're grounded. If you ask me, you got off easy."

Amber had to resist the strong urge to flip him the bird. He had been on her case constantly for the past week. She didn't care about being grounded…well that was a lie, she did, but there were more important things on her mind. "It's not that." She answered without looking up.

Jackson made his way over to the couch and dropped down next to her. "Is it anything you want to tell me about?"

Amber shook her head. Jackson's mood swings were starting to give her whiplash. He couldn't give her hell one minute and expect her to open up to him the next.

"So is that how you're going to play this? You're going to shut me out too?"

"I know this may be hard to believe, pretty boy, but this isn't about you."

Jackson's eyes opened wide with surprise. It wasn't often that Amber spoke to him like that. He got to his feet and turned off the television before returning to stand in front of her. "You're already in enough trouble as it is for the next couple of weeks." He lectured, his voice carrying an obvious ultimatum. "Now, I can be the good guy or the bad guy during that time. That's up to you."

"Sorry." She mumbled in return. His face softened. He wasn't trying to be so harsh with her, but he was growing sick and tired of her carrying around the house like her life was over. It wasn't the first time she had been in trouble and it most certainly wouldn't be the last, so he assumed there had to be something else going on.

"Haven't you figured out by now that you can tell me anything?" He asked, waiting patiently for her to offer him any piece of information.

Amber heaved a great sigh, knowing that Jackson was not going to leave her alone anytime soon. "I can't stand Lexie hating me."

"Amber!" Jackson exclaimed in shock.

"What now?" She sighed.

"Look at me." He demanded, his voice deepening as he grew more serious. He returned to his seat and Amber slowly lifted her green eyes to meet his piercing stare. She hated it when people forced her to make eye contact with them and he knew it.

"There is nothing that you could do to make any of us hate you. You need to understand that."

"That's easy for you to say." She rebutted. "You're not the one who was mad at me to begin with."

"You don't think I was angry when I found out what you did?"

Amber shrugged, regretting her attempt to let him into her thoughts in the first place.

"Of course I was." He confirmed. "But I could _never_ hate you."

"Alright." She gave in, just wanting him to leave her alone. "I get it."

"No, Amber, you don't." Jackson had no idea how to make her believe him. It wasn't her fault that she had a hard time trusting people; he was well aware of that. She had spent so much of her life having only herself to count on. That was enough to damage anybody, but the problem was that he didn't know exactly how to help her.

"I do Jackson…I just don't think it applies to this situation. Maybe you don't hate me, but you're not the one that stopped wanting anything to do with me."

"Lexie is confused. She's upset about her and Alex and I think that she's taking it out on you a little bit."

"What about her and Alex?" Amber's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. She had barely seen the two of them together lately. Their shifts hadn't overlapped much and they never seemed to be in the house at the same time.

"They broke up." Jackson explained.

At first Amber was shocked, but after a moment, all she felt was anger. "And let me guess…somehow that's my fault?"

"I didn't say that and neither did Lexie. I'm merely suggesting that her anger might be somewhat…displaced."

"Has anybody even stopped to consider that I might have learned my lesson?" Amber blurted out in aggravation.

Jackson tilted his head, willing her to continue. He chose to overlook the obvious hostility in her voice, hoping that it wasn't directed at him.

"I mean, isn't it possible that I might be smart enough to figure out that I did something wrong?" Tears of frustration welled up in her eyes. "I don't need Lexie to treat me like some no good delinquent for me to figure out that it was a mistake to ask her to cover for me."

"Babe, we all know that you're sorry. That honestly isn't what this is about."

"You do it too, Jackson!" Amber accused suddenly. "You take every chance you can get to remind me that I deserve all of this."

His face deflated in realization. He hadn't meant for his disappointment in her to come across this way. It was just that the idea of her throwing away everyone's trust over a boy she had only been dating for a week scared the absolute hell out of him and he wanted to make damn sure that it wouldn't happen a second time, even if it meant being the bad guy.

"If I have made you feel like I think any less of you because of what happened…I owe you a serious apology." He kept his voice steady, not wanting her to doubt his sincerity for a single moment. "When I was your age, I did the exact same thing. Nobody expects you to be perfect."

"You snuck out to see a boy?" She teased, unable to resist the perfect set up he had provided.

Jackson glared at her. "A girl, knucklehead. On multiple occasions actually."

"Did you ever get caught?"

"Yeah, I did." He laughed. "And that was the last time I ever did it. So I'm hoping that you-"

"I already said I wouldn't do it again." Amber held up a hand to silence him.

"Sorry."

"Forgiven." She muttered dryly. "I just want to know what I have to do to make things go back to normal…"

"Time heals all wounds kiddo." Jackson informed, hoping his optimism would be catching.

Amber bit the inside of her cheek, deep in thought. "You know, you're kind of obnoxious." She announced with an air of humor. "But you do always know what to say."

"I've told you before, and I'll tell you as many times as you need to hear it. I'm always here for you, no matter what."

"Thank you." She said quietly, not knowing what else could be said.

"Any time." He cupped her shoulder affectionately. "Now get to bed. You have a big game in the morning."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Hello?" Lexie pulled her cell phone out of the pocket of her scrubs, wondering who would be calling her while she was at work. She watched through the window as Arizona interacted with her young patient, attempting to get what little information she could.

"Hey you." Meredith spoke from the other end. "Alex wants to know if there's any headway with the baby Jane Doe?

"We now know that her name is Nora Rodgers. She just turned three."

"I take it the parents stepped forward?"

"Single mother." Lexie replied in disgust. "A drug addict who didn't think she could afford surgery. She was arrested a few hours ago."

"Any family?"

"No."

"Alright." Meredith sighed. "Well, Alex says he's going to make a few calls to try and keep her from winding up in a group home."

"I guess at this point all we can do is hope for the best."

"When's the surgery?"

"Monday I think. There are still some issues concerning a medical guardian." Lexie answered, shifting the phone to her other ear so she could prop it against her shoulder.

"Are you scrubbing in?"

"No." Lexie responded sourly. "Arizona wanted Teddy in there and since Alex is already on the case, they don't really need anybody else. Supposedly it's going to be a fairly simple surgery."

When Meredith didn't respond, Lexie voiced her curiosity. "If this was really about Nora, Alex would have called me himself…"

"Alright, so I'm a nosy woman living her life vicariously through your drama. I just wanted to see what was going on. Alex told me you two patched things up…and I was curious."

"Yeah well…we're sort of back together. I mean, not officially, but we're taking things slow."

"That's great!" Meredith exclaimed joyfully. "Does this mean you're finally going to cut Amber a break?"

Lexie took a deep breath as a wave of anger passed over her. "Why is everybody against me on this?"

"Because you are kind of being ridiculous Lex. This isn't like you." Meredith spoke slowly. She didn't want to offend her, but quite frankly, she was tired of sugar coating things. "Amber's had enough abandonment for a lifetime. Don't you think?"

"So just because I won't go to her soccer game, I've suddenly abandoned her?"

"You're usually so level headed. I don't really understand what's going on with you lately, but I hope you figure it out soon."

Lexie sighed. There was no use in hiding things from someone she shared her own DNA with. Meredith had a knack for seeing directly through her. "I really like Alex a lot…and I can see things going the distance, you know?"

Meredith waited, silently contemplating what this had to do with her recent disdain towards Alex's teenage sister.

"But if Alex and I continue to work out…" Lexie continued, her eyes shifting in every direction, carefully avoiding Meredith's face. "I don't know how I'm just supposed to jump into being a parent."

"You were doing just fine before, Lexie."

"Yeah, and we all see how well that turned out." She mumbled sarcastically. "The bottom line is if I want to be with Alex, things have to change, and I'm really struggling with how to make that transition."

"Lexie, I didn't have the greatest role model when it came to motherhood…so I don't know how sound my advice is going to be. The only thing that I can tell you is that if you want to become more of a parental figure to Amber…the very _last _thing you should ever do is take away your love."

Lexie was rendered speechless. She opened her mouth, only to produce a pitiful stutter, alerting Meredith that she had finally gotten through the thick skull of her younger sister.

"Do you know anyone who needs an extra shift?" She finally managed to choke out.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

The following morning, Amber's heart raced a mile a minute as she tore up and down the crowded soccer field. As time ticked away and the score remained the same, she could feel her knees beginning to weaken. Two of her teammates had already been benched due to injuries. She stole a quick glance at the stands for motivation. A warm smile spread across her face as she saw Alex, Derek, Jackson, and Meredith doing a four-person wave.

"You alright newbie?" Allison called to her as she ran past. Amber picked up her pace to keep up.

"I had no idea a soccer rivalry would be this intense." She offered a nervous laugh, out of breath from running for so long.

"Hang in there." Allison comforted her. "There's only a few minutes left, if we can just score one goal, they won't have a chance."

Amber watched as her friend took off rapidly back towards the opposing team's goal. It had been a game of ping pong thus far. One team would get close to scoring only to have the ball propelled back down the field. Back and forth, back and forth she ran aimlessly, waiting for the chance to do something. A wave of cool air passed over her, causing her to shiver involuntarily. She looked up to the sky in aggravation as she felt rain begin to pelt her cheeks. This would not make her job any easier.

The field quickly became a slippery mess and she struggled with the repeated shift in directions during the mad dash for the ball. There was less than a minute left now and Amber heard the crowd begin to cheer as Allison maneuvered the ball out from under the foot of another player. Sprinting down the field, defense hot on her tail, Allison took her only chance and kicked the ball with great force towards their friend Courtney. Amber made her way closer to the goal, carefully eluding a defensive member of the opposing side. No longer able to remain on her feet as the ground became a muddy plain, Courtney sent the ball flying before falling flat on her face.

Before she could make sense of what was happening, the soccer ball was in Amber's vision. It grew larger and larger as it hurled through the air towards her face. One would think the typical response to this would be to dive out of the way, but having played soccer for some seven years, Amber had developed other reflexes. Before she had the time to comprehend what her brain was telling her to do, she jumped as high as she could and allowed the ball to make contact with the side of her head. She slammed into the ground and skidded to a halt, caked in mud. She could hear the crowd cheering but couldn't quite figure out what had happened until she was being tackled by her entire team, shoving her back down into the pile of muck. It was then that it finally clicked.

"It went in?" She shouted above the uproar.

"You did it newbie!" Allison screeched, hurling herself into pile in great celebration. Amber did her best to keep air flowing into her lungs as more and more people joined in. Finally, the dog pile dissipated and Amber was greeted by her coach, smiling with pride. With one arm around her affectionately, he informed her that she had just earned a permanent position on the starting line.

After thirty grudgingly long minutes of high pitched squeals and muddy embraces, Amber walked sluggishly towards the car, suddenly feeling the toll today's game had taken on her. Her entire body screamed in protest with every step she took. All she wanted was to get home and take a hot shower.

"Our little champion." Jackson gushed, draping a towel over her shoulders.

"My sister's a true athlete." Alex beamed.

"The soccer hero of Seattle." Derek joined in.

"Guys!" Amber drawled. "It was just a soccer game, calm down." Of course she loved that she had made them so proud, especially since she had spent the last week feeling like she had let everyone down.

"Don't be so modest, sweetheart." Meredith said, tightening the towel around Amber. Her motherly instincts were beginning to kick in as she noticed the teenager starting to shiver. "Any girl who is willing to slide through a mud puddle for the good of the team is one worth recognizing."

"Why thank you." Amber smiled up at Meredith.

"So Meredith can compliment you, but a guy can't be proud of his baby sister?" Alex frowned playfully as he threw an arm over her shoulder.

Amber giggled. The wind picked up and she was grateful that they had finally reached the parking lot. She was soaking wet and covered head to toe in mud. All she wanted was to be clean and to collapse into her bed.

"I can't believe you all came." Amber said, suddenly realizing how wonderful it felt to have everyone there. She deflated slightly as she realized they were one short. "Well…almost all of you."

"Think again." Meredith said tilting her head towards the car behind theirs.

Amber spun around to see Lexie leaning against a tan Chevy wearing a navy raincoat. She offered a half-hearted smile and waved with her keys in hand.

"Could you give me a minute?" Amber asked her brother.

He hesitated slightly before finally giving in. "Alright, but make this fast. You'll catch a cold out here."

"Don't be such a mom!" She called behind her as she ran towards Lexie's car.

"I'm not being a mom, I'm being a doctor!" He argued.

"Dude." Jackson chided in. "…..You're kind of a mom."

Amber heard a powerful thud and a grunt of protest as Alex undoubtedly punched Jackson in the arm. "Hi." Amber said as she reached Lexie.

"Hey." Lexie said awkwardly. "Good job."

"Thanks….and I'm really happy you came. I didn't expect you to."

"Yeah, well neither did I." Lexie admitted truthfully.

"Then why did you?"

Lexie sighed. She didn't really know the answer herself, other than that she didn't want to cut Amber out of her life completely. Yes, she felt that things needed to change between them for the time being…but that didn't mean she didn't care about her, that she didn't love her.

"Because I'm trying, alright?" It came out sounding somewhat hostile and Lexie immediately regretted it, but Amber didn't seem too torn up about it.

"Well…it meant a lot to me."

"I'm sorry I've been such a bitch." Lexie divulged.

"I'm sure you had your reasons."

She hesitated briefly. "I thought I did." She stumbled over her words. "But now I….I'm just happy I got to see you play."

"So what does this mean?" Amber couldn't help but ask.

"It means that I know we aren't friends but…" Lexie looked over at the crowd of surgeons waiting at the other car before returning her attention to Amber. "We're still family."

"Family?" Amber said out loud, trying out the word for herself. She liked the way it sounded. It wasn't exactly what she wanted her relationship with Lexie to be, but at least it wasn't entirely void of hope for restitution in the future. "I can live with that."

* * *

><p><strong>Once again, thank you so much for your patience. Please let me know what you hope to see in the upcoming chapters. It definitely speeds up the writing process! xxMaddie <strong>


	13. Are You Okay?

**A few brief statements: **

**I'm going to be honest with you guys. Being a full time nanny and still finding time to write is REALLY REALLY HARD. So please hang in there with me for the remainder of the summer. I know I'm posting chapters a lot slower than I normally would, but things ****will**** return to normal once I move back to campus and have a reasonable schedule. Thank you so much for waiting so patiently.**

**I only got a few opinions on the shooting, and right now it looks like those in favor of it are winning. It won't occur for another couple of chapters though, so if you are extremely against it and want to stop it…speak now or forever hold your peace!**

**This is the final chapter of Amber on lockdown. Her love life will resume in the next one, so please let me know what kind of storyline you are interested in for her and Caleb! As always, thank you for your patience and I love each and every one of you simply for reading this.**

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"So school is good?"

"Yeah." Amber whispered into the receiver. It was well after 1:00 in the morning, but she couldn't risk being caught. Not only was she still grounded from using the phone for another day but she doubted Alex would be too pleased if he knew about her secret conversations with Aaron. "And I got moved to the starting line on the soccer team."

"You always were the athletic one of the three of us. The only time I ever got to touch the ball was when it was slamming into my face."

Amber giggled, but quickly threw her hand over her mouth to stifle the laughter. The last thing she wanted was to burn any more bridges with Alex, and she knew he wouldn't' approve of what she was doing. It was much easier to simply hide it from him.

"How are you feeling?" Amber changed the subject. She didn't know how to subtly ask him if his health had declined any further. He had briefly exhibited the early signs of schizophrenia before she left, but had swiftly masked them with his drug addiction. That was partly why it was so important to her to speak with him now. She worried that if she waited too long, he would soon become someone else. Someone that she would want absolutely nothing to do with.

"I'm fine." Aaron dismissed her concerns. He knew what she was asking, and he didn't feel like delving into the subject, especially with his kid sister. "I've had a lot of headaches lately, but what can you do?"

Amber tapped the phone against her forehead in frustration. Why did both of her older brothers have to inherit the hard headed Karev gene? "Have you been to see your doctor?" She asked after calming down.

"Why does it sound like you are the older sibling in this conversation?" Aaron parried. The truth was that he hadn't been since Amber was taken away. With her gone, his mother rode off into the night and he didn't have anyone around worth staying healthy for anymore. He honestly didn't even see the need.

"Has anyone ever told you that you are a very straight forward person and never try to change the subject?"

"No…."

"Good!" Amber exclaimed as quietly as she could. "Is it that hard to just answer my questions?" She was trying her best to come across as light hearted, but it was all she could do not to yell at him and throw the receiver across the room.

Aaron sighed. "I'll tell you what." He began, ready to bargain. "I'll go see my doctor…..if you let me come see you afterwards."

The line fell eerily silent, leaving them both to contemplate the other's breathing patterns.

"I mean…I was thinking of heading that way this weekend." He continued.

Amber had no idea how to respond. As much as she hated to admit it, she really did want to see him. She missed him, she missed what their relationship once was…but at the same time, she was afraid of him. She was afraid of what he might become, what he _had _become. How did she know he hadn't ended up like their mother? It was all too possible. Schizophrenia ran in their family…one of them was bound to get it, and he was right around the age when it was likely to begin.

Besides, even if she did want to see him, how could she possibly talk Alex into allowing it? She would be allowed out of the house again tomorrow, but was it really worth jeopardizing her freedom and everyone's trust by lying _again_? Amber exhaled in frustration, knowing that no easy solution would present itself to her.

"Iowa and Seattle aren't exactly close, Aaron." She finally mustered up the courage to reply.

"I'm not in Seattle actually."

"Where are you?"

"I've been staying with an old friend from high school in Portland."

"Since when?" She demanded, a little louder than intentioned.

"About a month."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because." He sighed. "I didn't want you to feel pressured to see me."

"Like I do now?"

"I'm not trying to pressure you." He spoke in a relaxed tone. "Money was tough, and he offered to let me move in for a while. I haven't heard from mom…it was kind of my only option."

"Aaron…I really don't know."

"Just think about it, okay?"

Amber's face grew hot with the combination of various emotions playing out at once. Her brain spun itself inside her skull, trying to make sense of every conflicting thought and rationalization being used to help in her decision. "I need more time." She finally managed to sputter.

"Take all the time you need." He replied softly. His voice was nurturing, similar to the way he used to speak when he would comfort her as a little girl. The nostalgia prompted by his voice was not helping her to think logically. "I'm not going anywhere."

Amber opened her mouth to speak in return, but could no longer compile and ample sentence. Instead she settled for an excuse. "I think I hear somebody coming." She lied, anxious to end their conversation. "I need to go." She hung up without giving him the chance to say goodbye, still flustered by the idea of seeing him face to face. As nice as he had been on the phone the past few weeks, something about his façade was unnerving. His tone, his words, his entire thought process…all of it seemed somewhat jumbled. He spoke about his life in the same way one would attempt to recount the details of a dream. For all she knew, that might be what his life was now. A dream. The aspects of his personality were growing far too familiar…and it terrified her.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

The following morning, Alex stood surprisingly chipper in the midst of the O.R. He had pulled a double shift and was running on what had to be pure adrenaline at this point.

"Alright Dr. Karev, let's see what you've learned this week. Dazzle me with your knowledge on ASD." Teddy immediately began drilling him upon beginning the surgery.

"Come on Dr. Altman, I've been answering these questions all week." Alex groaned. He had been waiting not-so-patiently for this surgery since joining the case, and now that it had finally arrived, he was not in the mood for a pop quiz.

"You're the one who wanted to scrub in." Arizona reminded him. She stood close behind, not taking her eyes off of Nora's vitals for a single second.

"Ugh, alright." Alex gave in. "An ASD is a hole in the septum between the left and right atria. It basically causes blood from the left atria to flow back into the right which then gets pumped back to the lungs again, causing the heart to work overtime.

"Fair enough…and which of the three types of ASD are we dealing with?"

"Secundum." Alex replied instantly in a rather monotone voice. "It means that part of the atrial septum failed to close completely during the development of the heart. It most commonly closes on its own by the age of four or five, but Nora's is a lot larger than the average case."

A sly smile played across Teddy's lips. "I'm done torturing you now. Let's get down to business." She and Arizona examined Nora's tiny frame from head to toe, mumbling to each other on occasion.

"Karev." Arizona spoke up. "Which approach would you take for a minimally invasive surgery if you were in our position?"

Alex glanced down at Nora and tried to decide which would prove to be more beneficial for such a tiny patient. "I know that most people would go for a right thoracotomy, but with her size I would probably take the submammary approach."

"I told you he was good." Arizona flashed a quick smile. Teddy nodded in agreement and held out her hand for the blade.

"Alright Dr. Karev." Determination fell across Teddy's face in one fowl swoop. She observed her hand for a moment to guarantee its steadiness. "Once the pericardium is opened, we're going to place her on cardiopulmonary bypass and divert the blood away from the right atrium."

Alex nodded in understanding and watched motionlessly as Teddy made the first incision. Watching her as she worked was what he could somewhat equate to watching an artist with a canvas. Her movements were precise and fluid, filled with purpose. It was moments like these that he truly appreciated his job.

The next few parts of the operation were tedious and time slowed down to a snail's pace. Alex was allowed to clamp the aorta and administer Cardioplegia to stop the heart by himself, but after that, he mostly observed as Arizona and Teddy maneuvered a small patch to close the defect. It didn't take long for gossip to begin filling the silent air of the O.R.

"So what happens when the chief gets better?" Arizona questioned to no one in particular. "Is Derek just supposed to step down and give back what he's been working for since the day he arrived? It all seems a little cruel to me."

Alex sighed. He had known this was bound to come up at one point or another. After all, standing alone in a deserted O.R. with two females for a long period of time could only result in conversation revolving around the hospital's latest scandals.

"I take it you're not amused?" Teddy asked. She closed one eye in concentration as the patch fell into its final position.

"I just think that if they're going to offer Derek the job, it should _stay_ his job." Alex argued. He felt absolutely no sympathy for alcoholics, no matter how much he previously respected this man. "And if Weber wants to have a moth-long pity party, I will not be attending…he can host it in a basement somewhere."

Arizona snorted from behind him. She had slowly grown to enjoy his dry, borderline cruel, sense of humor. "I don't know if I would call it a pity party."

"Oh it's a pity party, trust me. And if you ask me, Derek's the right man for the job anyways."

"But does _Derek_ think that Derek is the right man for the job?" Teddy inquired as she took a step back to view her work at a distance. "He seems rather standoffish about this whole ordeal. I think he misses being out on the floor."

"He'll find a happy medium. He always does." Alex pressed.

"You have a lot of faith in that man."

"He's never given me a reason not to." He replied. The unsaid words "_unlike Weber"_ hung in the air without having to be spoken.

"Any luck with social services?" Arizona asked, deciding it was time to change the subject.

"I made some calls, but so far, it looks like she's going to be tossed into a group home after recovery."

"We're the ones who have to sign off on it." Teddy reminded Arizona, who seemed troubled by the idea of an orphanage. "We'll make as slow of a recovery as Derek will allow. We can buy her a little bit of time."

"We better." Arizona sighed in defeat. She couldn't deny the connection she had developed with this particular child. As much as she constantly reminded herself not to become too involved, it was becoming hopeless to fight it.

"For now….we can take some pride in the fact that we have just given this little girl a future that she may not have had otherwise." Teddy stated adamantly before turning to face Alex. "Would you like to close her up, or should I?"

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Mandible, maxilla, palatine, zygomatic" Amber recited to herself barely above a whisper. She quickly glanced down at her text book to verify that she had the first four bones correct. She blinked rapidly a few times in an attempt to jolt her body awake. She really needed to stop staying awake so late on school nights making secret calls, but it was the only time she could find to get it done. Now that Friday had finally arrived and she could keep her cell phone for good, she would be able to obtain more privacy. _I'll need it._ She thought apprehensively as Aaron's recent offer to visit ran circles through her mind.

Amber shook her head and attempted to push all other thoughts to the side. "Mandible, maxilla, palatine…" She began to recite again before she was startled by a sudden movement behind her.

"Are you reciting the bones of the face?" Jackson's smooth voice erupted.

She flinched involuntarily before turning to meet him with an unwelcoming glare.

"Oh…right." He slapped his forehead lightly with the palm of his hand. "I'm supposed to stop popping up behind you randomly."

"I've given up hope on that one."

"Well that's good, because I didn't really plan on ending it anytime soon."

"Pity." Amber replied sarcastically.

"So what are you doing?" He questioned once more.

"Studying."

"Isn't your anatomy test not for like…another week and a half?"

"Yeah, but what else am I supposed to do? I have no phone, no computer…no life until I get home. So for now, I have officially resorted to using this time to better my education. How lame is that?"

Jackson tried his best to stifle a laugh with little success. "I think that is actually very mature of you."

"I've also had a lot of time to walk around." Amber spoke up, her voice carrying a suggestive tone. "I hear things."

Jackson tilted his head, wondering what she had discovered.

"An alcoholic, huh?"

Jackson sighed, not the least bit surprised that Amber had figured out what was going on. Not only was she a very resourceful girl, but the people in this hospital had the tendency to gossip more than a high school lunchroom.

"I would have told you about Richard myself, but Alex is so touchy on the subject and none of us knew how you would handle it….finding out that you had been unknowingly spending time with an alcoholic."

"Yeah, well, Alex is more affected by that sort of thing than I am." Amber asserted.

"It doesn't bother you?" Jackson inquired.

"Not particularly." She replied honestly. "I barely remember my dad, so it's not a very sensitive subject. Alex was the one who really had to deal with it head-on growing up. So it's understandable that finding out his boss was the same way would piss him off. Me on the other hand…I can't say I find it too unsettling. Now, if he had been diagnosed schizophrenic…yeah, I might be slightly more affected."

"That's understandable."

"Plus, I think Derek will make a good chief." She shrugged.

"I think so too." He nodded in agreement.

Amber looked back down at her book, suddenly feeling nauseous at the thought of studying any longer. She slammed it shut and shoved it to the edge of the table. "Are you on break or something?"

"Sort of…" Jackson said, the glow in his eyes suddenly diming as his playfulness faded. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"How could I already be in trouble again?" Amber groaned. "I haven't even left the house!"

Jackson laughed heartily. "Relax, you're not in trouble. I just…made some observations earlier and I thought we should discuss them."

"What kind of observations?" Amber questioned skeptically. Jackson had obviously wasted a truly brilliant talent when he decided to become a surgeon. It was clear that he was much better suited for a career in criminal investigation.

"The phone bill came today."

"And….?"

"I was looking through it to see what I owe Meredith for the month and I noticed a pretty sizeable number of calls placed to a cell phone with an Iowa area code."

Amber's mouth hung open in surprise. It honestly hadn't occurred to her that the calls would show up. That was actually the only reason she didn't fish her own phone out from the back of the plate cabinet where Alex had been keeping it. She knew the calls would show up on the cell phone bill, but for some reason she had just assumed nobody would put two and two together with the house phone. After all, Derek got a million calls from all over the country on a weekly basis.

"Are you going to tell me that they weren't your calls?" Jackson asked, a little more harshly.

"No they're mine." Amber replied calmly. She had the general feeling that things would go more smoothly for her if she simply placed all of her cards on the table.

"I'm not going to lie…I did not expect you to admit that."

"Glad I could surprise you."

Jackson put his hands together and opened his mouth as if ready to speak, but hesitated. "Why are you keeping this a secret?" He finally asked.

"You mean, besides the fact that I was grounded and shouldn't have been using the phone?"

"Small details." He dismissed her previous comment with a small wave of his hand, knowing that there was likely more to the story.

"Because I know Alex, and believe me, he would want to micromanage every single moment of contact that Aaron and I have. He would probably even record our conversations or something creepy like that." Amber replied in a steady, well rehearsed tone. She had thought she might be forced to have this argument one day, although she didn't expect it to be with Jackson. "I know that Aaron isn't exactly trustworthy now, but he was there for me for a short while after Alex left….he's still my brother."

"That doesn't mean you should be doing this behind your brother's back….and mine."

Amber held Jackson's gaze without falter for a brief moment before allowing her attention to shift to the wall behind his head. "You don't want me to see him, do you?" She asked.

He weighed the pros and cons briefly before answering. "Personally, no…I don't want you to see him. However, if you really _really_ want to, I'm sure Alex would arrange it with supervision."

Amber didn't answer. It was the supervision part that frustrated her. For some reason, she felt that facing her brother was something she needed to do on her own, not in a secure location as if she was visiting a convicted criminal.

"As for the phone calls, I'm just going to pretend like I don't know about them. It would be different if you were sneaking around talking to Caleb….but I think your brother is a different story."

"Thank you." Amber said with sincerity. It was all she could manage to say.

"But…" Jackson continued. Amber rolled her eyes. She knew that there was a catch. "I'm hoping that you have learned enough during these three weeks to tell Alex on your own. You hear me?"

"Yeah, I hear you."

"Good girl." He messed up her hair affectionately and offered a half smile before leaving the room to head back to work.

Amber turned her attention to her backpack, contemplating what else she could do to pass the time into the evening.

"Please be careful." A voice sounded from behind her.

Amber spun around. She hadn't seen Lexie come into the room. "You scared me!" She exclaimed as she made eye contact with the petite brunette.

"I'm serious." Lexie reasserted, not bothering to waste time with small talk. "Not only is Aaron potentially dangerous….but you know that Alex can be very touchy with this topic."

"If by touchy you mean that one wrong word can send him spiraling into a teenage wasteland, then yes…he is extremely touchy."

Lexie fought the urge to laugh. She wasn't here as a friend, she was here to be a responsible adult and attempt to offer some sound advice. "You know if he finds out about this before you tell him, you'll be living in the basement…right?"

Amber's eyebrows knit together as she considered this. "Do we even have a basement?"

"He'll build one." Lexie replied swiftly, attempting to keep her tone steady and void of playfulness.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Lexie sighed, knowing that it was impossible to get through to her right now, at a time when their relationship was at its most vulnerable state. It was difficult to accept the one fact staring her straight in the face: Amber no longer respected her.

"Just don't do anything stupid." Lexie stated one final time before retrieving the cup of coffee she had come for and heading out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Alex, you really ought to head home." Arizona suggested for the third time. "You've been pulling way too much over-time." Alex looked at the small pair of blue eyes pleading up at him. He just didn't feel right leaving her unattended, especially while she was still recovering. Every doctor who had been working on Nora's case had quickly become attached. That wasn't exactly considered a good thing in their line of work, but she was cute enough that they all seemed to easily overlook the fact.

"I'll stay with Nora." Arizona added, as if reading his thoughts. She leaned over and shoved a curl out of the toddler's eyes. Her expression quickly shifted to one that was dark, clouded with disgruntled thoughts.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked, noticing the sudden change in her demeanor. He thought he had noticed a certain sadness to her earlier that day during surgery, but he had ignored it, thinking it was in his head.

"You know it's funny." Arizona exhaled and turned her gaze to the floor. "Callie dumped me because I told her I didn't want children."

Alex didn't respond, knowing there was likely more she had to say.

"And sitting here right now, I'm so content to spend every waking moment with them…I just don't want one of my own. Now coming to work is a constant reminder of what ended the best relationship of my life."

Alex blinked at her skeptically, finding it somewhat hard to believe. First of all, Arizona and Callie were one of the most stable couples at Seattle Grace. It seemed as if everyone else flew around in a whirlwind of uncertainty, aimlessly bouncing from one person to the next. He was guilty of it himself, but not them. Callie didn't have the best track record in that department early on in her career, but something did seem to change for her when she began dating Arizona. She was static with her decision, and more so, she was happy. Second of all, Arizona was a pediatrician, not to mention one of the most maternal people he knew. It seemed oddly out of place that what broke the happy couple up was her hesitance to become a mother.

"I guess I just always assumed you became a pediatrician because you love kids…." Alex offered, still slightly out of sorts from the previous declaration. He didn't necessarily care for children himself. Perusing a career in pediatrics had little to do with how he felt about kids. He had always been in it for the competition, or so he tried to convince himself. Arizona on the other hand, there was no denying how strongly she felt for each patient she treated, and that had to count for something.

"I adore children with all my heart…but I've seen the things that these parents have been put through. It shatters me just to have to deliver the news to them, and I don't ever want to risk having to go through that myself."

"I can't say much." Alex began, not knowing whether he was supposed to offer advice or comfort. All he could really do was answer with his own experience. "I mean, after all, I've only been a surrogate parents for a few months now, but I can tell you that…it's worth the fear. I worry about everything that Amber does, every time she walks out the door, every time she goes to school, every time she plays a soccer game, but if I had to do it over I would still make the same choice…you know?"

Arizona allowed a slight smile to play across her lips. "I don't know how aware of it you are…but you have _really_ changed."

"I'm still the same guy."

"But you're a better version of that guy." She replied. "I know it's no secret that I didn't always like you."

"You don't say?"

Arizona laughed at his sarcasm. "I know it's hard to believe." She teased. "Now I would probably prefer to work with you over any other resident actually…"

"Are you drunk?" He inquired, highly unaccustomed to receiving compliments from her.

Arizona cackled. "No Karev, I'm being serious. You're good at what you do and I think you would make an amazing pediatrician someday."

"Thank you." He breathed in gratitude. He glanced down at the hospital bed before him and a half smile warmed his face. He nodded his head in the direction of Nora, who had fallen fast asleep, her hand clutched tightly in Arizona's. "And for what it's worth Dr. Robbins…you are amazing with kids."

Arizona returned his words with a gentle smile. It was the type that she often used with her own patients, warm and inviting, the kind that seemed to brighten a room effortlessly.

Alex left the pediatric wing a few minutes later and caught sight of Lexie making her way towards an on-call room. He imagined she was going to try and catch and a few minutes of rest. He too had been at the hospital since the previous night. Without formulating an excuse for doing so, he followed into the room behind her.

"Hi Alex." She said calmly, not appearing shocked or bothered that he had accompanied her. She did seem worried though, as if something was on her mind.

"You alright?" He questioned, wondering if it was simply a bad day for everyone at Seattle Grace.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine." She delivered a fake smile right on cue, not feeling that it was her place to say anything about Amber, especially not after everything that had happened lately.

"That's good." He spoke up quickly. He was unsure of what else to say. His immediate instinct was to try and comfort her, to fix whatever was bothering her, but he didn't know how anymore. "I prefer it when you're happy."

Lexie didn't know whether it was her mind's way of overcompensating for the fact that she was harboring yet another secret from him, but she suddenly found herself overcome with the desire to feel close to him. She missed the way she used to have to fight the urge to blush every time he spoke, the way butterflies found their way into her stomach every time their hands brushed against each other accidentally. And it wasn't Alex that was the problem. She was the one who was holding back.

They stared at each other in silence, both wanting the exact same thing. It was no secret that they were good together. It just seemed like lately the universe had other plans, plans that would continually threaten to put a gap between them.

Not wanting to allow another moment to slip away, Lexie grabbed a lose piece of his scrubs and pulled his body closer until it was touching her own. She could feel excitement rising in her chest as she was greeted by the familiar fire that took over his eyes during an intense moment.

The two of them clumsily fell back onto the bed and their lips met in a glorious reunion. Fireworks propelled through her brain as she did everything she could to savor the feeling of his breath on her neck, his hands on her hips, and the chemistry surging between them like an electrical charge. She hadn't realized just how much she had missed him in the last few weeks.

Alex pulled away and placed his hands on either side of her face, wanting to look at her, wanting to make up for lost time. He took in every detail, every piece of her that he found beautiful; her high cheek bones, the soft glow of her skin, the gentle light in her eyes. Leaning in, he pressed his forehead against hers and stared longingly into her eyes. "I missed you." He whispered.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber walked in through the back door and slung her backpack onto the kitchen table in exhaustion. She had done everything she could to make time go by faster, but knowing that she would be free upon coming home seemed to slow things down dramatically, as if her brain thought she hadn't had enough. Finally around 6:00, Mark had offered to drop her off on his way home.

"Welcome home!" Meredith called without looking behind her to see who had returned. She was shifting her attention incrementally between a large saucepan on the stove, and a recipe book propped open beside her.

"Hi Meredith." Amber replied cheerfully before walking up to the stove. "What are you making?"

Meredith sprinkled some garlic salt into the saucepan before answering. "I am making a pepper marinara sauce that I saw on Rachel Ray. I thought I might give it a try."

The look on Meredith's face said it all: just like Amber, she too was trying to stay busy. Amber could only assume that it had something to do with the chief. "That sounds nice. Is it hard to make?"

"Not really, but there are a lot of ingredients. I had to substitute an Anaheim pepper for a Fresno, but I think that will be okay."

"Are they similar?" Amber entreated.

"I have no clue…but they are both cities in California, so I'm going to go with it."

Amber laughed. Meredith's logic was something of the marvelous. She continued to watch, debating whether to engage her in conversation.

"So are you going to do anything on your first night of freedom?" Meredith asked a she turned the heat on the stove down to a simmer.

"I might go out with Caleb after dinner or something. I think there's a new movie out that he wanted to see….I mean…if that's okay."

"I don't know why it wouldn't be." Meredith answered nonchalantly. "You paid your debt to society. Of course you should check with Alex, but I'm pretty sure he's thinking of this as a normal Friday night for you."

Amber smiled in return. "It's weird to think I might actually go out tonight. It feels like it's been forever."

"I can imagine!" Meredith exclaimed. "Although I'm fairly certain the boys are viewing this as more of a parole….so don't mess it up, okay? I'm rooting for you."

Amber swallowed nervously. Meredith's words made what was about to commence in a few hours all the more difficult. Glancing up, she couldn't help but notice the stress that seemed to be defining Meredith's face. She looked tried, as if heaving around a large burden everywhere she went.

"Meredith?" She spoke up.

"What's up?"

"Are you okay?"

Meredith allowed the spoon she was using to stir to rest against the side of the saucepan and turned to face Amber. She wiped her hands off on her jeans. "Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"I don't know… and I'm sure you are." Amber began, wondering if this conversation was a mistake. "It's just that everyone has been so preoccupied with arguing about Richard's condition or what kind of chief of surgery Derek will be that no one has asked if you're ok."

"And why would anyone be concerned about me?" Meredith was skillful at deflecting questions that she didn't want to answer, but Amber could tell simply by the look on her face that she was hurting.

"My dad was an alcoholic." She offered after a moment of silence.

"I know." Meredith replied sympathetically.

"And Richard is kind of like a dad to you…right?"

"My relationship with Richard is…complicated to say the least."

"Well, no matter what your relationship is…you're close to him and you care about him." Amber pressed the matter further.

"Yes." Meredith sighed.

"Alex and Aaron used to get so upset." Amber spoke slowly, not particularly wanting to dive into the details of her childhood, but nevertheless felt it was necessary to convey her point. "No matter how many times my brothers or my mom begged my dad, he just kept drinking. It was like the people who loved him just weren't enough. And it hurts, you know? It hurts to think that you can't do anything to stop it."

Meredith's expression softened slightly and she let out a deep sigh. She didn't quite understand why, but it was incredibly easy for her to open up to Amber. "Can I tell you a secret?" She inquired.

"Of course." Amber placed her hands on the center island and pulled herself up to sit on it.

"I knew."

"You knew what?"

Meredith took in a large breath of air before continuing. "I knew he wasn't well. I mean, it's not like he took a great deal of care to hide the fact that he had a problem…but deep down I always knew."

"You couldn't have known for sure." Amber tried to reason with her. Meredith felt bad enough as it was, she didn't need to add any extra guilt to the picture.

"No…I knew." Meredith choked out, her emotions becoming increasingly evident. "And I did nothing about it."

"I wouldn't have either." Amber offered.

"Yeah?"

"I can't say I would have done anything differently…" Amber confessed. And she meant every word of it. The more she thought about it, the more she realized she was doing the same thing as Meredith right now. It wasn't as if it was difficult to tell that Aaron wasn't completely healthy, but was she going to do anything about it? Probably not. In fact, she was about to hitch a ride from Allison to go meet him at a diner somewhere, despite her gut instinct that it was a bad idea. In many ways, she was exactly like Meredith.

"I find that sort of comforting." Meredith divulged. "Is that weird?"

Amber smiled softly and shook her head. "No."

Meredith ran a hand along Amber's hair affectionately. "You're such a good kid, you know that?"

"I'll take your word for it."

The two ate together peacefully, enjoying the unusual quietness of their surroundings. They spoke briefly about the chief again, but mostly kept the conversation light, sharing other hospital gossip and poking fun at the men of the house. Shortly after they finished, Amber heard a familiar car horn sound and quickly made her escape before Meredith could discover that it wasn't actually Caleb.

Meredith stood in the kitchen and cleaned up from dinner, allowing herself to become entangled in her own thoughts. It wasn't until somebody else came home that she returned to reality.

"Hey Mer." Lexie greeted cheerfully as she entered in through the backdoor. She had spotted her sister standing at the sink through the window from the backyard.

"Hey you, there are some leftovers in the fridge if you're hungry. The food is phenomenal if I may say so myself."

"I'll take you up on that." Lexie replied, making a b-line for the refrigerator. "Hope there's enough for an army. Alex is on his way home too."

"There is more than enough. I always cook for an army in this house."

"Your wisdom never flounders." Lexie complimented as she shoved a Tupperware container of pasta into the microwave. She glanced around noticing an absence. "Speaking of the Karevs…where's Amber?"

"She went out with Caleb."

"No she didn't." Lexie replied, abruptly spinning around to face her sister. Panic was evident on her face.

"Yeah she did. She's not grounded anymore so Alex said she could go."

"The boys' soccer team is in Bellevue this weekend for a tournament. I heard Amber telling Derek about it a few days ago." Lexie proclaimed, a slight edge to her voice. "I don't know where she is, but I can promise you that she isn't with Caleb."

"Oh my god." Meredith breathed. She could feel her heart threatening to burst out of her chest at any given moment. All at once, she finally understood why Alex had been so angry the night that Amber snuck out. The feeling of not knowing her whereabouts, knowing that she could possibly be in danger, that anything could be happening, was so overbearing that she suddenly felt as if she could no longer breathe. "Where is she?"

Lexie dropped the fork she was holding and stood motionless and it clamored to the tile floor with a resounding clang. Her pupils dilated to twice their size as realization sunk in. "Aaron." She managed to choke out before snatching her keys and darting back out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>Dun dun dun dunnnnn! Yes my friends, Aaron is back and he done gone crazyyyy. Love it, hate it? Lemme know! <strong>


	14. If I jump, Will I Survive?

**Hey guys! I know I've been gone FOREVER. I've just returned from a glorious stay in the mountains of Vermont! It was a wonderful break from the fabulous world of nannying, so now I'm back and ready to write! My juices are flowing and I really think the chapters that are coming up will be very exciting.**

**Also, as suggested by a few readers, I'm going to attempt to introduce a few of the other main characters into the story. Tell me who you are most anxious to see. Mark? Christina? More Callie and Arizona? Teddy? Owen? I'll figure out a way to make it work!**

**Enough of my rambling. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

_If I jump, will I survive? _

_The question played on a loop in Amber's head. There wasn't much time now. She shifted her attention between the gun in her brother's hand and the door handle next to her. Glancing at the speedometer, she had a choice to make. How fast was too fast…to jump? _

Sirens. Sirens and voices. That was all she could hear. Where they were coming from, Amber. didn't really know. All she knew was that she was in pain, _a lot_ of pain. It felt as if a large boulder had fallen onto her chest, constricting her airway with every breath she attempted to take. Every pulse of her heart was another searing throb in her head and abdomen. Gathering her strength, she tried to move, wanting to sit up and survey her surroundings. Unfortunately, every time she tried, she was restrained.

"Don't move." A small voice urged, stroking her arm gently.

"Lexie?" She tried to speak. The resulting voice sounded foreign. It was gravely, weighed with distraught.

"I'm here." Lexie scooted closer, grabbing Amber's hand and holding it against her chest. She used her free hand to brush away tears incrementally, not wanting to frighten Amber with the fact that she was crying.

"Hurts." Amber mumbled in return, her mind still engulfed in one large, hazy cloud.

"I know, but we're almost to the hospital, okay?"

"I have to go see Aaron."

"You did, honey." Lexie desperately wanted to explain the situation to her, but she wasn't completely aware of the full story herself. By the time she had arrived downtown, the paramedics were already scooping Amber's mangled body off of the ground. All she knew was that for reasons unknown, Amber had jumped from a moving vehicle…at fifty miles per hour.

"I want Alex."

"He might still be at the hospital. You'll see him when we get there….but I'm here right now." She offered.

Amber tried to move once more, but to no avail. She involuntarily cried out at the intense stabbing sensation in her chest that followed.

"Everything's going to be okay." Lexie said, tightening her grip on the young girl's hand. "We're almost there."

"What happened?" Amber asked breathlessly, unable to recount a single detail of her earlier meeting with Aaron. The last thing she could vividly remember was waving goodbye to Allison after being dropped off at a quaint coffee shop in downtown Seattle. The rest came to her in bits and pieces; the blurring of the street through a car window, distant voices….a gun.

"You jumped out of a moving car, Amber. Do you remember anything?"

"No."

"Aaron's in custody. Before you passed out you kept telling the police on the scene that…." Lexie paused for a moment, knowing that Amber was in no condition to be hearing this. "You told them that he was trying to kill you."

Amber blinked up at her, a vacant expression in her eyes. "I don't remember."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it now." Lexie could see the confusion taking over Amber's delicate features. Trying to recall traumatic memories was the very last thing she should be concerning herself with at the current moment.

"Why would he want to kill me?" She whimpered, the emotions becoming far too severe to comprehend all at once.

"I don't know." Lexie spoke softly, doing her best to fight the new tears forming at the brim of her eyes. She still felt out of breath. In fact, she was fairly certain she hadn't been breathing regularly since darting out of the house an hour earlier. The thought that anything might have happened to Amber was overwhelmingly brutal.

When she watched the paramedics pick Amber's seemingly lifeless body off of the ground, she had thought that it was the end. She thought she would never have the chance to repair her relationship with someone who meant the world to her.

She had vowed to herself right then that if Amber made it through this, she would make things right with her, no matter what it took.

Before Lexie could say anything else, the ambulance came to a halt and the back doors flew open.

Amber groaned as her gurney was lifted up and pushed out into the open.

"Amber!" A familiar voice called frantically. "Oh my god….Amber."

She attempted to crane her head and see who was calling her name, but had lost her strength to move. She didn't have to look very far, though. Alex's face came into her sight almost instantly.

"What happened?" He demanded, almost angrily, in the direction of the nearest EMT.

"We don't know." Lexie interjected, working overtime to maintain levelheadedness. She made eye contact with him, trying to convey with a look that this was a discussion they should have in private. With a slight shake of her head, Alex seemed to get the message.

Amber found it next to impossible to keep her focus on one particular point. She was stuck in the very center of a tangled mass of chaos. People shot past her before her brain could interpret them, words buzzed in one ear and out the other before she could piece them together into sentences. The world was spinning, as if she was lying on her back on a merry-go-round. Her eyes darted back and forth until her brother came into sight once more. "I'm sorry." She tried to say, although it didn't come out fully audible.

"Don't you dare." Alex ordered. "This was not your fault." He quickly grabbed the side rail of the gurney. He was not letting her out of his sight.

"Don't leave." She begged, fear creeping around her. She attempted to move again and was suddenly immobilized by pain. A sudden piercing sensation in her chest left her unable to breathe. It was by far the most painful thing she had ever experienced.

"Not on your life, kiddo." Alex asserted, wishing more than anything that he could pull her into his arms, to hold her and _never_ let her go. Now wasn't the time for breakdowns though, it was the time for strength. But could he really be strong right now? Was he even capable of staring at his baby sister, helplessly constricted to a hospital gurney, paralyzed in agony? She was only a child. _His_ child.

"Alex you need to let go." A voice snapped him back to reality. He locked his eyes with Mark's, almost pleadingly. He still couldn't quite comprehend what was happening.

"Let go." Mark commanded with urgency. "Her right lung is punctured. We need to get her inside _now_."

Alex obediently let go and followed closely behind at a half sprint as Amber was whisked inside. Lexie did her best to keep up, occasionally placing a hand on Alex's arm for comfort. They were quickly joined by Owen and Callie as they approached the main floor.

"What do we have?" Owen asked, doing his best to ignore exactly _who_ was on the gurney before him.

"Mid-sized pneumothorax."

Amber moved her head from side to side Voices became distant, the way music fades out t the end of the song…and then everything was dark.

"She's unconscious!" Mark called to Owen, who was several paces ahead of them. He yanked open the door to Trauma Room 2 and held the door open as the gurney was pushed through. Alex tried to follow them inside, but Owen placed a hand on his chest. "You have to stay here."

"Like hell I will!" Alex shouted, trying to push past Owen.

"You know the rules Alex!"

As if on cue, Derek came running through the large double doors that led to the trauma unit.

"Neither of you are coming in!" Owen proclaimed before Derek could even attempt to smooth talk his way inside.

"Yes we are!"

"What's going on?" Meredith demanded as she ran down the hallway after Derek, still wearing what looked like her pajamas. Jackson followed closely behind.

"I'm the chief of surgery." Derek reminded him

"And you also live with her. The answer is no. None of you are coming in." He stated with finality before slamming the door shut.

"I need a chest tube!" Owen shouted, spinning around to face his team. Callie and Mark were standing observantly at Amber's side.

"Look at the bruising on her side. I think it was one of her ribs that caused the puncture." Callie said as she yanked her stethoscope from around her neck. She gently placed it against Amber's chest and listened intently. "There are hardly any breath sounds on her right side."

"We can't wait any longer." Mark stated. "There's a wound on her head that needs attention too."

Owen pinched the brim of his nose in frustration. Of all the people that could have ended up in the room before them, why did it have to be Amber Karev? He had shut out the five people who lived with her, knowing that they were far too involved in her life to be objective medically. However, staring down at her now, he didn't know for sure whether _any_ of them could be objective. Truth be told, everyone in the hospital adored her from the get-go.

"Owen!" Callie shrieked. "Cut her, or lose her!"

Owen snapped out of his trance, picked up a scalpel and swiftly cut a line in between two of her ribs. "Chest tube." He repeated. One of the nurses passed it to him and he wasted no time in inserting it through the incision site.

The three of them stood in what felt like a slow-motion replay as they waited for any sign that the procedure had worked. In a matter of seconds, Amber's heart rate began to steady to its normal pace.

"The air is draining." Callie exhaled, looking as if she might burst into tears any second.

"That head-wound still needs some attention, Mark." Owen commanded, feeling confident enough to take control again.

"I'm on it." Mark replied.

"Callie, check out the ribs."

"Aye, aye.".

Meanwhile outside, Derek glanced over his shoulder to see Alex slowly lowering himself to the ground, his back pressed against the wall opposite the door. Lexie immediately ran to his side and attempted to put her arm around him, but he shrugged it off, not wanting to be touched.

Knowing that nothing more could be done, Jackson slid down next to Alex and folded his arms over his knees. He tilted his head back and allowed it to rest against the wall, never taking his eyes off of the door. Meredith and Derek followed his lead and continued to form a line along the back wall. The couple sat hand in hand for a moment before Meredith reached an arm out and placed it on Jackson's leg. Jackson hesitated slightly, anticipating the reaction, but eventually reciprocated the gesture and placed his own hand on Alex's knee.

Alex remained motionless, but after a few minutes, he finally reached out and took Lexie's hand.

The five of them sat like that, linked together in a wordless display of support. And it didn't need to be vocalized, the loyalty among them. If it hadn't been obvious before, it was now: they were bound to one another. What began as a platonic living arrangement had evolved into a bond stronger than most. They were a family.

Seconds ticked away, and a looming feeling of dread filled the hallway like a thick fog.

Alex was by no means a religious man. He never really saw the point in any of it. He had been around death long enough to take the side that no god would ever put millions of innocent people through such trials. But now, sitting on the cold tile of the trauma wing hallway, his thoughts continuously drifted to prayer. Truth be told, he was afraid of it…the idea of begging for his sister's life from an unseen force that he still wasn't sure he believed in.

_Please, don't take her away from me…I haven't had the chance to give her the life she deserves yet. _

Alex finally thought to himself. Could he call it a prayer? Maybe. He would never admit it to himself though. All he wanted was to know with absolute certainty that Amber would still be on this Earth the following day.

The door swung open and Owen emerged from the room after what seemed like several hours, although in real time, it couldn't have been any longer than forty-five minutes. All five house members were on their feet in a split second. They stood, their arms still joined together as one unified group.

"She's alright."

And with that having been said, for the first time in what must have been fifteen years…Alex began to cry.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber's eyelids fluttered open and she slowly began to recognize the rhythmic beeping of the monitor she was attached too. Startled, she jerked forward. "Ow!" She moaned in protest at the sudden throb in her side.

"Easy there, eager beaver." Mark spoke up from her left hand side. Amber glanced over to see him and Callie peering down at her anxiously, as if wondering what she would do next.

"Where's my brother?" Amber's voice was extremely raspy. Her eyes grew wide upon hearing herself for the first time.

"Oh, him?" Mark responded cavalierly. "He and Jackson were driving me up the wall. Callie and I could barely get our jobs done."

"Can I see him?"

Mark and Callie exchanged glances nervously. "He's going to stop by in a little while. He had to take care of a few things."

Amber opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced by a dull throb that was beginning in the back of her head and working its way up to the front in record speed.

"My head is killing me."

"Side effect of the concussion most likely." Mark mumbled. He turned to Callie who nodded in agreement.

"Concussion?" Amber questioned.

"Concussion….broken ribs, lacerations, dislocated shoulder." Callie rattled off. "The concrete was not your friend."

It wasn't until then that Amber finally took notice of the ever-present stinging in her side. Sliding her hospital gown over, she caught sight of the small line of stitches above her rib-cage.

"Owen had to insert a chest tube." Callie explained.

"How long have I been asleep?" Amber asked, alarmed that so much had happened to her.

"Close to two days." Mark answered this time.

A troubled look overcame Amber's face. Holding out her hand, she reached up and touched the bandage on her forehead. "Ouch!" She hissed.

"Easy, easy!" Mark warned. "Don't mess up my handy work."

"Aren't you a plastic surgeon?" Amber questioned, somewhat cheekily.

He responded with a smirk, pleased that she still had a sense of humor. "Hey, I was the only thing standing between you and a very large scar. You'll thank me in a few years."

"I'll thank you right now."

"It was my pleasure." Mark rejoined smoothly. He lifted her hand slowly, as if it were made of glass, and gently touched his lips to the back of it. "We're all just happy that you're okay."

"Amber…." Callie's voice sounded from across the room. "Do you remember anything?"

"It's really fuzzy." Amber answered. "It's like I'm trying to remember a dream."

"That should clear up as the concussion fades. Just keep trying to recall more details. It will help." Callie advised.

"_Shut up! Just shut up!" Aaron's voice boomed throughout the car. Amber shoved her body against the seat, wishing she could disappear into the fabric. How had things gotten to this point? Sure, he had seemed out of sorts when they hugged…almost like he was afraid of her, but this? He had absolutely gone off of his rocker. _

"_You look so much like her…" Aaron continued to ramble. His words came together like the thoughts of a mad man. "But you aren't her. Don't think that I don't know." He waved the gun around as he spoke, driving with one hand. They swerved all over the road. _

"_Aaron it's me." Amber sobbed, unsure whether her words could even be deciphered anymore. "I'm your sister." _

_Aaron slammed the hand holding the gun against the dashboard. "I said shut up!" He screamed. _

"I can remember bits and pieces…" Amber disclosed, "But not enough to want to talk about it."

"Don't worry about that now." Mark reassured her. "Just try to rest. We'll come back to check on you soon."

"When do you think Alex will be back?"

"I'm not sure how long his…errand is going to take." Mark informed her, seeming uncertain about his choice of words. Amber chose to ignore it. "But everyone else is here. Do you want to see anyone?"

Amber thought about it for a moment. Her first thought was to ask for Meredith. That was who she really wanted to see. But then again, she wasn't sure whether she was quite ready to face Meredith. She had lied straight to her face just the night before…and look where it had landed her. No, she most certainly was not ready to deal with that just yet.

"Can I see Jackson?"

"Of course." Mark and Callie disappeared from the room and Amber stared at the door, waiting impatiently for Jackson to emerge from behind it.

She glanced over at the television and considered turning it on for a moment, thinking it my pass the time. However, it occurred to her that her face would be plastered across the screen on almost every major news channel. She could practically hear the headlines in her head: 'Psycho tries to murder his own sister.'

Her thoughts were graciously interrupted as the door swung open and Jackson appeared. He obviously had not slept over the past two days; his appearance was disheveled and the bags under his eyes were evident from across the room.

The look on his face was enough to nearly bring Amber to tears all over again. Naturally, he would never break down and cry; he was far too 'manly' for that. However, his lower eyelashes were noticeably wet and he seemed to be having to work incredibly hard to prevent a breakdown. Upon seeing Amber, his breathing hitched slightly and he sighed in relief before striding over to her bedside and enveloping her in a gentle embrace, mindful of her ribs.

Amber allowed herself to fall into his arms without question. "I'm so sorry." She said, her cheek resting against the front pocket of his scrubs.

Jackson finally let go of Amber and shifted positions so he could sit facing her.

"_You're_ sorry? I should be the one apologizing to you, Amber." He spoke sincerely. Guilt dripped from every syllable.

"What are you talking about?"

"I knew you were talking to him." Jackson reminded her. "I'm supposed to help look after you….I should have said something."

"You were just giving me my space to make my own decisions…that's what you're supposed to do, right?"

"That wasn't my decision to make. I should have told your brother. Alex counts on all of us to help keep you safe."

"He counts on you with good reason!" Amber tried to comfort him. It wasn't very often that Jackson Avery needed reassurance from anyone. He was often considered to be somewhat cocky, not necessarily in a bad way, but he definitely had the average 'surgeon-god-complex.' Now, however, for the first time, he was taking full fault for something. Something that he honestly had no control over.

"That sure did a lot of good." He glanced up, reluctantly meeting her eyes. Amber couldn't help but note the irony of the situation. Normally it was her, afraid to look into _his_ menacing stare. "My god…look at you. Look what he did to you."

"I'm okay." She informed him softly, as much as she knew it was a lie.

"No you aren't. And I played a part in it…I just hope you can forgive me."

"Jackson…I know you aren't going to love hearing this, but I would have found a way to see Aaron no matter what you had done. You could have forbidden me to see him, or told Alex, but I still would have gone." She confessed. It wasn't easy to openly admit that she would have been willing to once again go behind the backs of everyone she loved, but it was the truth. "And I'm not proud of it, alright? I know it was stupid, but I didn't think that my own brother…"

Suddenly feeling the weight of her last sentence, Amber could no longer put up a strong front. Everything slammed down on top of her at once like a pile of bricks. Her brother, _her own brother_, had tried to kill her. She couldn't remember the specifics of what had gone down, but she remembered enough, enough to know that she was losing every single member of her family that she had left. And that wasn't many.

"He didn't even know who I was." She choked out, although she had begun to cry and her words weren't particularly clear. Jackson reached out and pulled her back against his chest. He was unsure whether he was supposed to offer any form of encouragement. He decided instead to just hold her, a gentle reminder that she wasn't alone.

Jackson held onto Amber and allowed her to cry, eventually giving into his own tears. He shut his eyes tightly, hoping to subdue the steady flow of water they were releasing. He hated crying, but thankfully, Amber didn't seem to notice. Neither of them said anything for a long time. They simply held onto each other, engaged in their own catharsis.

"Is Alex going to be next?" Amber inquired through bouts of sobbing. "Or me?"

"Alex is fine." Jackson tried to reassure her. "He's not going anywhere and neither are you."

"I'm never going to have a family, am I?" She asked angrily, emotions shooting out of her like built up water pressure. "They're all too fucked up. I'm just going to lose them eventually."

Jackson knew there was no point in attempting to reason with her right now. She had been holding in her feelings since the day she arrived, and she was long overdue for an emotional release. He had to let it play its course.

It wasn't until Amber had fully calmed down that he finally decided to offer any form of logic.

"One thing you'll come to learn pretty fast, kiddo, is that family has nothing to do with who you are related to." He reached out and swiped a tear from under her eye with the pad of his thumb. "We're your family now, whether you like it or not. And as much as you might try to wish us away, I swear to you, we're not going anywhere."

Amber looked down and fidgeted with the fabric of her hospital gown, unsure of how to reply.

"I'm serious, Amber. After the merger, just like everyone else from Mercy West, I felt like such an outsider. I resented this place, as well as the people who work here." Jackson continued. "It took me sometime to realize the obvious, but eventually I saw it."

"Saw what?" She spoke up timidly. Jackson smiled, happy to finally have earned her attention.

"Look around, babe. Look how deep the friendships run here, it's unlike anything I've ever seen. It may not always be perfect…but neither is any family. And you're a part of it now."

Amber offered a weak smiled. She appreciated the sentiment, she really did. It just wasn't the same. "I spent all of my childhood wishing I had a family. Even at our happiest times we were mediocre at best." Amber divulged. "No matter how things turn out, the truth is always going to be the same. My dad is an alcoholic who doesn't give a shit about me and my mom is a paranoid schizophrenic who spends the majority of her time locked in her room with the lights off. And my older brother? He-"

"But now you've got Alex." Jackson cut her off. "You've got me. You've got Meredith. You've got Derek….and Lexie."

"Sometimes Lexie." She corrected him with a smirk.

"Sometimes Lexie." He confirmed.

Amber tilted her head in contemplation. "I guess I kind of have a family."

"More than kind of."

"Jackson?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know how you do it, but you really do always know what to say."

"It's a part of being old and wise."

"Yes, because you are _so_ ancient." She teased.

Jackson laughed and allowed his eyes to wander the contents of the room before regaining his serious demeanor. "I do love you, Amber. As much as if you were my own sister."

"I love you too. And I'm glad I have you for a surrogate brother, considering Alex can pass for half of one on a good day."

Jackson made a face, but chuckled at her reply. Truth be told, Alex was doing a phenomenal job raising her, and as much as Amber made jokes, she knew it too.

"So where is he, anyways?"

"Hm?" Jackson asked, although he knew exactly who she was referring to.

"My brother." She spoke slowly, as if talking to a confused child.

"He's just….busy. I'm sure he'll be back sometime soon." Jackson stumbled over his words, obviously hiding something.

"Jackson." Amber's voice lowered. "Where is he?"

Jackson sighed, not knowing how to approach such a touchy subject. "He's at the hearing to have Aaron committed."

Amber's pupils dilated in shock. "Committed?"

"To a mental institution back in Iowa. He's already been declared a paranoid schizophrenic."

"Like my mom?"

Jackson hesitated slightly. "Yes…like your mom."

"My mom was never institutionalized."

"She never tried to kill you."

Tears returned to Amber's eyes.

"Shit…I'm sorry sweetheart." He said, wishing he could retrieve his last sentence. "That was a bit blunt."

"There isn't really a way to sugar coat it." Amber admitted. "My brother did try to kill me."

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"I'm sure."

"Amber, you know that you can-"

"I know." She silenced him before he could complete his sentence. "I can tell you anything. Right now…I want to go to sleep. Can I tell you that?"

Jackson grunted. He hated it when she shut him out. It was like talking to a brick wall, a stubborn, teenage, brick wall.

"Alright. Get some rest."

He left the room slowly, hoping that she might change her mind. Upon realizing that she wasn't going to tell him anything, he fretfully allowed the door to shut behind him. She was alright. She was alive. And that was all that mattered for now.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

The following morning, Alex shoved in through the main entrance of the hospital, still reeling from the past forty-eight hours. Aaron had shown absolutely no signs of remorse. In fact, he didn't even seem to know where he was or what had happened. His lawyer had of course pled insanity, granting Aaron an all access pass to a nut house rather than going to jail for his attempted murder charges. After seeing him in person, however, Alex had decided that this was most likely a good thing. He was clearly very ill and needed extreme medical attention. _Runs in the family._ He thought coldly.

'Capgras Syndrome,' the psychiatrist had called it, which apparently isn't all that uncommon in paranoid schizophrenics. Aaron had literally believed that Amber had been replaced by….an evil twin, to a certain extent. He would have to get the full story from Amber herself, but he could safely assume what most likely happened. Amber had met up with him and he had gone off the deep end, thinking that he needed to rid the world of her 'imposture,' so to speak.

_Poor kid._ Alex thought to himself. Fifteen years old and she had already seen several episodes of domestic violence, watched her own mother overdose, been sexually assaulted on multiple occasions, and now she could add 'witness older brother have a psychotic break and become homicidal' to the list. _How am I going to deal with his? _He wondered apprehensively. Dealing with her authority problem was one thing…but emotional trauma? That would be another boat entirely. For all he knew, she could revert directly back to her old ways; the rebellion, the sarcasm, the resentment, the disregard for any and all boundaries. _Am I ready to deal with that again? Am I the right person to help her heal? To restore her trust in people? To move on?_

Alex grunted and swiped a bead of sweat from his forehead. He hadn't realized that he had more or less been power walking to the opposite end of the hospital that housed his little sister.

He found himself somewhat nervous to see her actually. He hadn't spoken to anyone who had recently had contact with her, and he honestly had no earthly idea how she was coping with the situation. It would be easy for any normal person to come out of an event like this completely shattered, terrified of life and stoic about the future. But then again, he couldn't categorize Amber as normal. After all, she did share a chunk of his DNA.

His thoughts bounced back and forth like a game of ping pong. One moment, he had complete faith in her to emerge from this whole ordeal as strong as before, and the next, he was convinced that she would forever be damaged. As much as she had been through in the past, she was still a teenage girl…and this was a lot for _anybody_ to handle, let alone a child.

Alex's heart rate increased dramatically as her room came into sight. He had wanted nothing more than to sit at her bedside nonstop for the past day, but unfortunately he had another sibling who had needed his attention. No matter what Aaron had done, Alex still couldn't help but view him as partially his responsibility.

"Amber!" He exclaimed as soon as she was in his sight. He yanked her into the tightest hug he thought she could physically handle.

"Easy bro." She complained. "I have a few broken ribs."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said pulling away to get a good look at her. Only two days earlier, he thought he might never look her in the eyes again. "My god baby…look at you."

"I'll heal." She reminded him.

_Perhaps physically._ He thought snidely. "Will you?" He inquired.

"Eventually."

"I don't know what I would have done…" He let his voice trail off. The idea alone that she could have been killed was enough to leave him unable to breathe.

"Then it's a good thing you don't have to worry about it."

Alex sighed in partial contentment. When it suited her, Amber was well beyond her years.

"What's going to happen to Aaron?" She spoke up. Alex was somewhat shocked. After everything that boy had put her through, he could still detect a slight tone of concern in her voice.

"I found a really nice institution in Iowa for him. Top of the line care. He's going to get the medical attention that he needs."

"Does that mean he'll get better someday?"

"I just don't know, kiddo."

"Probably not, though?"

Alex rubbed his temples. He hated trying to explain this, that there really was no way to heal someone with schizophrenia. He had waited year after year for their mother to show any signs of improvement, but nothing ever came of it.

"I wouldn't say that." He attempted to muster up his remaining optimism. "You spend time in this hospital; you know how quickly medicine is evolving. In a few years, they might come out with something that could completely cure it."

"Mom too?"

"Mom too." Alex agreed. "But for right now, they are going to control it the best they can."

Amber grew silent, contemplating her older brother's words of encouragement. She knew that there had been something wrong with Aaron, but she had ignored it. Maybe this was for the best. He didn't belong in jail…he needed help.

"Why didn't he recognize me?" She finally asked.

"Amber…the doctor said that Aaron is suffering from something called 'Capgras Syndrome.' It basically means that he believes those who are close to him have been replaced by identical-looking impostures."

"That makes a lot of sense." Amber mumbled.

"He didn't recognize me either when I got there." Alex informed her.

"He didn't?"

"No….he didn't. He was shouting things through the glass at me the whole time I was there…about how I wasn't-" Alex took a deep breath, stuck on the ending of his sentence. "About how I wasn't his brother."

"Sounds familiar." Amber whispered in return.

"I tried to give the professionals on his case any information that I could, but I don't have much to go on. I told them that he threatened to kill you, but that is really the only piece of information I have."

"That's really all there is to know."

"I think you would feel a lot better if you told me what happened before you jumped."

"Look." Amber began, feeling increasingly defensive. "I'll tell you the same thing that I have told everyone else who has asked. I _don't know_ what happened."

"But…that's a lie isn't it?" Alex asked with caution. It wasn't his intention to upset her, she had been through enough. But then again, Amber had a terrible problem with blocking out issues that she didn't want to face, and that wasn't healthy. "Tell me….have you really forgotten?"

Amber stared at him blankly before leaning back against her pillow. She shut her eyes and exhaled. She remembered. It had come back to her in bits and pieces throughout the day. She tried to block it out, wanting to pretend it had never happened, but sure enough…it returned to her, slowly coming together like a movie watched out of order.

_If I jump, will I survive?_

* * *

><p><strong>Well well well, this was rather intense if I do say so myself. Please review! <strong>


	15. ISSUE RESOLVED! I WILL UPDATE SOON

Hello guys!

The situation involving my story being plagiarized has been resolved! The girl took it down. Thank you to everyone who reviewed or checked out the situation for yourself. Your encouragement was incredibly touching!

Now that all this has been taken care of I will update very soon!


	16. Always Sharks in the Water

**Hi guys, I'm baaaaack! Oh my goodness, I can't fully express just how much I have missed writing this story! I've been back at college for a little under a month now, and I think I have finally gotten the hang of my schedule. **

**On another note, thank you SO much for all of your support when I was going through the whole plagiarism thing. That was a really tough time for me and if it hadn't been for my readers, I might have just called it quits on this story all together. However, I could never do that to you guys. I love you too much! **

**As for updates: I have decided to make my chapters a little bit shorter. Instead of being around 15-16 pages, they will most likely be somewhere around 8-11 pages. This will allow me to update more often with my busy schedule. **

**I can't thank you enough for the support and the kind comments. I intend to show you my appreciation by working really hard to make this an amazing story. Please don't hesitate to request anything that you would like to happen! Alright, enough of my rambling. Here it is!**

* * *

><p>"Derek…I can't make this call for you. I know what I would do, but ultimately, this is your decision." Alex spoke timidly.<p>

"I can't make this mistake, Karev. Not again."

"Then just sit this one out. Is it really worth your dignity?"

"Are you trying to tell me how to do my job, Alex?" He asked, sounding somewhat insulted.

"No, but I really think you should listen to me for once. Just quit while you're ahead!"

"I'm not ahead though, Alex!" Derek argued. "This could be my chance for a comeback."

"Now is not the time to try to make up for past mistakes. Just count your loses and move forward!"

"No. I have to do this."

Alex sighed. Derek was nearly as stubborn as he was. "Fine. I believe in you."

Derek ran a hand through his thick, black hair before shoving three dollars to the center of the tray resting on Amber's hospital bed. "I'm in."

"Oh, bad call." Amber smirked. "Straight." She said, turning her cards around to face the boys.

"Damn it!" Derek exclaimed.

"You could have folded like me." Alex shrugged. "Now you're out almost thirty bucks."

"You would think an injury would hinder her performance." Derek commented.

"Maybe, but I like a challenge." Amber teased as she scooped the pile of money into her lap.

Derek chuckled and ruffled the young girl's hair, careful to steer clear of the bandage on her forehead. "You should just send this girl to Vegas. It would save a bundle on college tuition."

Amber glanced up at her older brother. "That's the best idea I've ever heard. Who needs school? I clearly have a gift."

"How do I put this nicely?" Alex leaned in and kissed his sister on the cheek. "No way in hell? Over my dead body? When pigs fly? Take your pick."

"Hmm…" She tapped her finger to her chin in thought. "I'll take 'Over my dead body.'"

Alex couldn't resist laughing. "Alright, smart ass. You've had your fun. Get some rest."

Amber groaned. "All you ever tell me to do is rest. Can't I go for a walk around the hospital?"

"Absolutely not. Go to sleep." He nodded to Derek who took the cue and flipped off the overhead light. "Rounds start early on this floor. You're going to get woken up before 8:00 most likely."

"It's only 9:00 though."

"Early to bed, early to rise." Derek chimed in.

"Not helping Sheppard." Amber snapped playfully.

"I'll let myself out." He said, flashing a blinding smile. "Goodnight Amber."

"Goodnight Der."

Alex waited for the door to shut before sitting down on the side of Amber's bed hospital bed. She quickly diverted her attention to the wall, knowing that he was going to use this rare moment of privacy as an opportunity to chat. Using his index finger to tilt her chin up, he took a good look at her face. She had barely acknowledged her injuries at all since telling him the full story of what happened with Aaron and he was beginning to get worried. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Alex." She shrugged. "I thought you wanted me to go to bed."

"Sure…you want to go to sleep now that I'm trying to talk to you."

"I think we've talked enough this week, don't you?"

Alex took a deep breath. This is what he had been afraid of, that she would backtrack and shut everyone out all over again. "Have you talked to Meredith yet?" He asked, attempting a different approach.

"Meredith probably doesn't want to talk to me." Amber mumbled.

"That's not true and you know it. You're being ridiculous."

"I literally lost the trust of everyone I care about. I can't deal with that right now…especially with Meredith."

"Amber…" Alex lowered his voice slightly. "None of us know exactly what you went through with Aaron back at home. I wasn't there…I should have been, but I wasn't. Meredith was hurt by what you did, but we all really do understand why you felt like you couldn't tell us you were still talking to him."

"You do?"

"I do." Alex confirmed. "But…." He grabbed her hands, hoping to regain her attention.

Amber exhaled and lifted her emerald eyes.

"You know that I'm not mad at you. None of us are. I still trust you completely…on one condition. _Never _do anything like that ever again. Got it?"

"Never." Amber whispered in agreement.

"And you're talking to Meredith tomorrow." He asserted as he began to stand up. "You might want to pull away from everyone right now, which is understandable given what you've gone through, but I'm not going to let you. I would rather have you hate me for making you talk about your feelings than hate yourself for keeping them locked inside."

Alex couldn't be certain, but he could have sworn he saw a small smile creep across her face, although it disappeared far too quickly to tell. "You're really annoying." She spoke, a distant twinkle returning to her eyes.

"I love you too." He replied.

As soon as the door shut behind her brother, Amber hugged the sheets of the bed tightly around her neck. She had come to hate sleep in the past few days. Her dreams were haunted, her thoughts were haunted. Every moment of rest was another excuse for a nightmare….or worse…a memory.

Despite her resistance, she could feel the weight of her eyelids as the toll of her injuries stole every ounce of energy from her youthful body. Sleep was nothing more than a beautiful contradiction now. She craved it, she needed it, but she resented it, she feared it.

She tossed and turned for what she assumed was at least an hour, attempting to prevent her body from falling asleep. However, it didn't take long to lose what little fight remained in her. Soon, she had no choice other than to allow her eyes to succumb to the darkness.

"_So, when should I pick you up?" Allison asked nervously as she pulled to a stop outside of 'Presto Espresso'. _

"_Um…." Amber wasn't exactly sure how long she would want to talk to her brother. They might hit it off, or it could be incredibly awkward. She had no way of knowing. "I'll text you." _

"_Alright….good luck." _

"_Thanks for doing this for me."_

"_Anytime, just please be safe." Allison offered a half smile. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with the situation, and it was obvious that Amber could feel it too. _

"_Yeah…I'll see you in a bit." Amber hopped out of her friend's jeep and watched as she disappeared down the road. Turning around to face the coffee shop, she could see the profile of her older brother through the wide glass panel across the side of the building. She could physically feel the speed of her heart beat increasing. He looked different….older, tired. _

_Amber pushed through the front entrance. Aaron hadn't noticed her yet._

"_Aaron." She called out to him. A smile took over his face upon hearing her voice. He turned around and his happy expression immediately vanished upon seeing her. Amber tilted her head in confusion and Aaron quickly planted a new grin on his face, only this one seemed fake. Amber chose to shrug it off, convincing herself it was only her mind playing tricks on her. _

"_Hey, munchkin." He said, holding open his arms_

_Amber walked up to him happily, accepting his embrace. Aaron's body stiffened at her touch, but relaxed after a few seconds. Once again, she tried to convince herself that it was just the side effects of initial awkwardness. After all, they hadn't seen each other in a few months, although it felt much longer._

"_Are you okay?" _

"_Y-yeah." He stuttered. "You just seem….so different." _

"_A lot has changed since you last saw me." _

"_Yeah." Aaron laughed nervously before sitting down at a table next to the window. "Alex still being good to you?"_

_Amber took a seat across from him. "He's really strict, but he's always good to me."_

"_That's good, I suppose." _

"_It takes some getting used to, but I'm a work in progress." She gave a soft laugh, the kind that often slipped out when she couldn't think of anything to say. Aaron used to tease her about it, saying that she could never hide when she was nervous, lying, or uncomfortable. This time, it skated past unnoticed. "How do you like Portland?" _

"_It's a pretty nice change from Iowa. Our town started to feel like a prison after a while." _

"_Our home felt like a prison after a while." Amber muttered._

_He only nodded in return. _

_After that, Aaron asked basically the same questions that he usually did on the phone: school, grades, soccer, friends, but it was as if he didn't believe a word she was saying. His mind was clearly somewhere else, and as desperately as Amber tried, she couldn't successfully bring him back down to earth. _

"_You seem….happy." Aaron commented after an uncomfortably superficial conversation concerning her AP classes. _

"_That's because I am happy." She admitted. "I really do like living with Alex….he has change. And his roommates, they're amazing." _

"_You really think he's changed?" He snorted in return._

"_He did take me in, Aaron." Amber replied, a slight edge to her voice. She did not like the way he was acting at all. "You can say what you want about him in the past, but he's a really great guardian."_

"_Better than I would have been?" Aaron asked looking down._

"_Aaron, don't do that." _

_A small smile began to reappear, but once again left his lips as soon he looked up at her face. _

"_Is it wrong for me to wonder how I would have done? You know…If it had been me instead of him." _

"_Alex is a good parent…isn't that enough?" _

"_So he's your parent now?" _

"_Well…." Amber glanced down at her hands. "I mean, yeah. He is. He kind of always was, don't you think?" _

"_Then what the hell was I to Amber all those years?" _

"_Wait...what?" Amber glanced up._

"_What?"Aaron asked defensively._

"_Why are you talking about me like I'm not here?" _

"_I'm not." He stated. "I asked if Alex was your parent, then what was I to you?"_

"_No, you asked what you were to 'Amber'." _

"_Oh…sorry. I guess I'm just really tired." He responded, reaching across the table and placing his hand on top of hers. She felt him flinch. _

_Amber looked down at her phone, strongly considering texting Allison to pick her up. This wasn't going to way she had hoped it would._

"_I probably have to get going soon….I have a curfew." Amber lied, reluctantly looking up at her brother's face. He seemed on the verge of panic at the mention of her leaving. _

"_Come on munch, I'm sorry. Please don't leave. You know what would help?" Aaron spoke up. "I haven't eaten yet. What do you say we go grab a bite? Take a ride in Lucile for old time's sake?"_

_Amber smiled weakly at the mention of 'Lucile,' the old, green pick-up truck he purchased when he turned twenty-one. After Alex moved out, they would often escape to Lucile as refuge when their mother would have a schizophrenic episode. Sometimes they would even burn an entire tank of gas, too afraid to return home._

"_I guess that would be okay." She finally agreed. "But then I have to go home." _

"_Let's go." He nodded towards the door._

_Amber was comforted by the nostalgia that quickly overtook her as soon as she breathed in the familiar smell of Lucile's interior. "Hello old friend." She whispered, running her hand along the console._

_Aaron barely said a word as he pulled out of the parking lot. Amber continually tried to spark a conversation, but was only rewarded with the occasional grunt or forced laugh. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore._

"_Alright Aaron, what gives? You've been acting weird all night."_

_Aaron began to chuckle, but not humorously….almost menacingly. A chill ran down Amber's spine. "You are in no position to tell me about what's weird."_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_I just want my sister back. Just give her back."He was on the verge of tears. Amber glanced at the speedometer nervously. The outside world began to blur as they sped down the streets of downtown Seattle._

"_Aaron, slow down."_

"_You." He pointed at her. She moved her body as close to the window as possible. "You shut up."_

"_Aaron…" She pleaded, hoping she could calm him down. "Just tell me what's wrong, we can get through it. You and I…we can get through anything. We always have." _

_He just started laughing again. Jamming his hand deep into his pocket, he produced a gun. He didn't point it directly at her though. Instead he just waved it around for emphasis as he spoke. "Not this time." He hissed. "You aren't her, and the only way I can get Amber back is if you are gone." _

"_I don't know wh-" _

"_Shut up! Just shut up!" Aaron's voice boomed throughout the car. Amber shoved her body against the seat, wishing she could disappear into the fabric. How had things gotten to this point?_

"_You look so much like her…" Aaron continued to ramble. His words came together like the thoughts of a mad man. "But you aren't her. Don't think that I don't know." He waved the gun around as he spoke, driving with one hand. They swerved all over the road. _

"_Aaron, it's me." Amber sobbed, unsure whether her words could even be deciphered anymore. "I'm your sister." _

_He slammed the hand holding the gun against the dashboard. "I said shut up!" _

_Amber glanced out the window desperately. She couldn't believe what she was considering silently to herself. _

_If I jump, will I survive? The question played on a loop in Amber's head. There couldn't be much time left before Aaron would do something drastic. She shifted her attention between the gun in her brother's hand and the door handle next to her. Glancing at the speedometer, she had a choice to make. How fast was too fast…to jump? _

"_You know…I put in just as much work raising her as Alex did, and she doesn't even know. I let her down, and now she'll never know. She'll never know what she means to me. I just want her back."_

_Tears fell freely down Amber's face, blinding her vision. If she remained in the car, she would die, that she could be somewhat certain of. Did she have any other option? Could she survive a jump like this? _

_Aaron lifted the gun and directly pointed it in her direction. "I don't know who you are, and I don't know what you want with my family, but I'm going to fix this…. because I won't give up on my family. I'll never give up on them."_

_Allowing adrenaline to fully take over the actions of her own body, Amber yanked on the door handle which flew open easily. Amber tucked her legs in tightly to her chest and let herself fall from the car. The last thing she heard as she hit the ground was the loud crack of a gun firing…and then everything was dark. _

Amber shot up in her bed with such intensity that she almost flew out of it completely. She reached an arm out and fumbled for a light switch. How much longer would she be haunted by the look on her brother's face? How could she ever forget that he, the man who was her hero, didn't even recognize her? How would she ever recover from her own brother trying to kill her?

Alex had explained the disease to her in full. He had even brought her several case studies and research articles in case she had further questions. The voice is the only thing not affected by Capgras Syndrome, which explained why he had no problem connecting with her on the phone. As soon as he saw her in person, however, it caused a psychotic break.

Every night, the same scene played in her head, often more than once. Sometimes she remembered that she needed to jump, other times the car crashed into a wall before she had a chance, and sometimes…..he killed her.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"No…I understand." Meredith spoke into the receiver of the phone, doing her very best not to sound hostile. "Thank you for your time."

"Any luck?" Arizona spoke up from the opposite side of the room.

"They can put her on the waiting list for a group home, but that's about all they can do."

"A group home isn't sanitary enough for someone recovering from open heart surgery." Arizona hissed. "She'll be back here in a week due to infection."

"I know." Meredith agreed glumly. "But most of the families that are willing to accept a sick foster child don't meet the living standards for someone in Nora's condition either. There is no way I can get any of this approved by social services until a later stage of her recovery."

"That's what I was afraid of."

"How much longer can we keep her here?"

"Once she's out of the ICU, it's only a matter of days before Derek's interference is overridden by the politics of the system."

Meredith cringed. "We're going to have to think of something."

"Let me know if you come up with anything, because I've just about reached the end of my wits." Arizona spoke quietly as she neared Nora's bedside. The toddler was sleeping peacefully. "Poor thing." She stroked her hair gently. "None of this is your fault…and somehow you're the one suffering for it."

"Hey Arizona?" Meredith spoke up suddenly, a look of insight flickering across her face.

"Yes?"

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You could take her." She replied, as if it were the most obvious solution in the world.

"Good one Mer."

"I'm being serious." Meredith pressed.

"I think it's time you went home and got some rest, Grey." Arizona laughed nervously. What Meredith was suggesting was absolutely absurd…right? "It's nearly 1:30 in the morning, why don't you call it a night."

"Fine." She held up her hands in mock defeat. "But promise me you'll think about it."

"There's nothing to think about."

"Yeah…you keep telling yourself that." Meredith retorted cheekily before turning around an exiting the pediatric wing.

She stopped on the main floor on her way out to tell Derek that she heading home. After bidding him farewell, she started down the hallway to the elevator. There were times when the halls of Seattle Grace felt like they stretched for miles.

Glancing to her right, she sighed in the direction of Amber's room. They hadn't spoken since the accident. Every time Meredith tried, Amber would pretend to be asleep or formulate some other equally viable excuse. She did a double take as a flash of movement caught her eye through the blinds of the patient's window. It was then that she noticed the lights were on. Pushing the door open, she stuck her head inside.

"Everything okay in here?"

Amber quickly wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. "Yeah, I'm fine." She sniffed.

"Really? You certainly don't look fine."

A stray tear rolled down Amber's left cheek and Meredith's maternal instincts began to consume her from the inside out. She wanted nothing more than to yank the young teen into her arms and assure her of her safety, to tell her that everything was fine now, that she was home where she belonged. However, she didn't know if Amber was ready, so she refrained.

"I'm not." Amber whispered after several moments of silence.

Although not explicitly stated, Meredith knew Amber well enough to understand that this was her way of opening up, her way of admitting that she needed Meredith…she had just been too afraid to ask.

Amber scooted over in her bed, clearing a spot for Meredith.

Meredith couldn't help but smile as she made her way over and climbed into the bed next to her. She placed an arm around Amber's shoulders.

Amber leaned into her arm and savored the feeling of comfort, of safety, something that she hadn't experienced in the eerie hours of the night since before the incident.

"I'm sorry." She choked out, willing herself not to cry.

"Shhh." Meredith silenced her. "It's in the past."

"No." Amber argued. "I need to say this."

She waited to see if Meredith would interrupt again, and when she didn't, Amber continued. "I'm not just sorry for what happened with Aaron…I'm sorry I tried to shut you out."

"Why did you, Amber?"

"I thought you wouldn't trust me anymore." She divulged. "I thought you would do what Lexie did….tell me that I put you in a compromising position and that our relationship would never be the same."

"I pride myself on being a different person than Lexie." Meredith teased, squeezing Amber's shoulder affectionately.

"Do you still trust me?"

"Everybody deserves a second chance."

Amber relaxed slightly. "How are you always so understanding? I don't get it."

"Everybody has a past Amber…and for some people, it's darker than others. I don't get to tell you how to deal with yours, I wasn't there."

"But I lied to you."

"You didn't lie to me about sneaking out to see a boy…or about going out to a party and drinking or something." Meredith rejoined. "This was a part of your life that none of us will ever fully be able to understand. And if you felt like you couldn't tell me…I'm sure you had your reasons. I can only hope that after all of this, you've learned that the next time you want to fight a demon of your past…I'll be right beside you. We all will. You only have to ask."

"Jackson says I have to learn that I don't have to face my problems alone anymore."

"Jackson is a smart man." Meredith agreed.

"You called him a chimpanzee with a scalpel last week…."

"Jackson is sometimes a smart man." She corrected with a laugh. "He's right though. We've got your back."

"Do you think things will ever get completely better?" Amber inquired.

Meredith sighed. "There are always sharks in the water….but you'll know what to do the next time they come."

"That's the most honest answer I've gotten since I've been here."

"I'll always be honest with you….will you promise me the same thing?"

Amber locked eyes with Meredith. "Yes."

"Good…because the fear I felt the night you went out…I don't think I could ever live through that again."

"You won't have to."

Meredith ran her fingers through Amber's hair. She seemed calmer now, the tear tracks on her face slowly fading away, just as these traumatic events would someday as well.

"Will you stay with me?" Amber glanced up at her friend, the only woman in her life who had never let her down, the first motherly figure that she had ever fully been able to trust.

"Close your eyes, sweetheart." Meredith replied, allowing herself to do the same. "I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

><p><strong>Finito! Well my lovelies, let me know what you think! And once again, thank you for everything. It's your words of encouragement that have convinced me to be a writer. I never thought I would receive this kind of support. It is truly humbling! <strong>


	17. Gentleman of Promise

**Ugh, guys, I'm sorry! I know that I have been taking forever, and I wish that I could give you a clear timeline of how my chapter updates will go from here on out. Sadly, I am in college and lately I have had so much work that my roommate has been telling me I'm developing an ulcer. Since I last updated I have had 2 formal speeches, 4 essays, 10 hours of volunteer work, several tests, and even a fifteen page paper. I'm currently writing another speech and my free time is needless to say, limited. **

**It's ALL my professors' fault. Feel free to form an angry mob outside of their houses. Maybe I'll actually get a chapter done on time if they are busy cleaning up rotten tomatoes and protest signs! **

**But just to put everyone at ease: I will NOT give up on this story! Seriously. I know it's moving slow right now, but I'll figure out a way to update! **

**So the shooting will definitely be occurring, possibly in the next chapter. It will basically follow the story line of the shooting on the show, but with a few minor alterations and a lot of Amber thrown in. I know that's a lot to put Amber through, but bear with me, I have ideas!**

**New poll: how do you feel about Arizona and Nora?**** Someone suggested to me a while back that one of the characters should take her in, and it got my wheels turning. Perhaps it will spark a reunion between her and Callie. Eh, eh? Thoughts? Opinions? Soulful comments? **

**I love you all! Here it is…WARNING: FLUFF AHEAD**

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"I still don't get why I wasn't allowed to come see you until now." Caleb argued in a partially joking manor as he ran his thumb along the top of Amber's fingers. "It's been four days of me pacing back and forth. My mom thought I was a few hours shy of completely losing my sanity."

"You can't lose what you never had." Amber teased back, a playful light twinkling in her forest green eyes. It seemed like a lifetime had passed since she had spoken with her boyfriend. She leaned her head against his shoulder, suddenly feeling incredibly thankful that he was sitting next to her.

Caleb glanced down and scowled at her mockingly before resuming the smile that had not left his face since his arrival.

"I was unconscious for the first two days, Caleb." Amber resumed with a laugh, flattered by her boyfriend's urgency to see her. "The third day was mostly tests, accompanied by people poking and prodding me to gage my progress."

"I know." He responded solemnly, kissing the top of her head. Just like everyone else, he did his best to steer his thought process away from the images of Amber's near death experience. Amber felt his body tense up and placed a hand on his chest reassuringly.

"But, had I been awake, you would have been the first person I wanted to see."

"Oh really?" Caleb inquired. "Even before Allison?"

"Definitely before Allison!"

"Then, why is there a soccer ball sitting in that chair over there?" Caleb nodded his head towards an empty seat on the other side of the room, the chair that Alex, Jackson, Meredith, Lexie, and Derek had been taking turns sleeping in – depending on who was on call at the time – for the past three nights.

Amber attempted to stifle a laugh at the sight of the soccer ball that held the signatures of all the team members of both the girls and boys varsity soccer teams. Allison had orchestrated the whole thing, and Caleb's signature was one of the very first, so it wasn't as if she could deny who the ball came from.

"I didn't invite Allison though." Amber countered. "In my defense…she just kind of showed up while I was sleeping this morning and leapt onto my bed."

Caleb laughed and looped his arm around Amber's shoulders. The warmth of her body against his own was a comforting reminder that she was alright. He didn't care how long he had to wait to see her. The fact was, she was alive. His mother had received the call from Meredith late Friday night. When she told him what happened, they had no idea how bad it was or whether she was going to survive. All he knew was that she jumped out a moving vehicle…which didn't sound promising.

It was the longest night of his life. The call didn't come until close to 4:00 in the morning, and even then, all they told him was that Amber was 'stable'….whatever that meant. He just knew that he couldn't lose her. In the short few months that he had known Amber, she had changed his whole perspective on what a relationship should mean. He wasn't ready to give that up yet, not when he had just begun his journey with this amazing girl.

Caleb was by no means a saint. He had gone through his fair share of girlfriends, often growing bored with their antics after a few brief weeks. He hated to come across as cocky, but it wasn't as if he had a huge issue getting girls to like him. He was considered to be one of the better looking juniors at his school, not to mention on the starting line of boys varsity.

However, initially upon meeting him, Amber didn't seem affected by his charm in the slightest, and if she was, he could add 'acting skills' to the long list of talents she possessed. She didn't try to flirt with him or try to hide the fact that she was smart, which was something he rarely encountered. He was willing to admit that when he offered her a ride home on her first day, it was originally because he found her incredibly attractive. The entire drive to the hospital, he dropped casual hints about hanging out or catching a movie sometime, but what was her response? She asked if he would help her with AP Calculus because she wanted to maintain a perfect GPA.

She was oblivious to his ploys to gain her affection. His olive complexion, muscular build, shaggy hair and blue eyes weren't even a blip on the radar in her mind. All throughout high school, all he had to do was wink and a girl would be a puddle at his feet, but Amber, she made him work for it. Amber dropped a pile of bricks on him from the moment she first shook his hand. She was down to earth, humble, brilliant, athletic, beautiful, and kind hearted. And for the life of him, Caleb had no idea that girls like that existed at their age.

Caleb's thoughts were abruptly interrupted as the door to the Amber's hospital room flew open without warning.

"Amber, fancy seeing you here!" Derek poked his head through the door.

"I've been living here for the past three days…" Amber reminded him sourly, throwing an apologetic glance to Caleb.

"I just came to-"

"Oh I know what you came for." She cut in. "And the answer is no. No I don't need an emergency bandage change, no I don't need pain medication, no I'm not feeling dizzy or nauseous, no I don't want to learn more about Jesus Christ or whatever else you could possibly come up with!"

"Well then…sassy." Derek mumbled. "I just thought I would remind your _friend _here that there is a hospital policy about sitting on the patient's bed. Good day!" He spoke quickly before fading back into the crowded hallways of Seattle Grace Mercy West.

Caleb shifted positions quickly to pull himself out of the bed, but Amber extended her arm across his stomach to stop him. "There is no policy."

"Oh…" He nodded in understanding. "It's like you have your own secret service or something."

"This is probably my brother's doing." She explained, sounding slightly embarrassed. "He's still upset because I haven't 'properly' introduced the two of you."

"I'll meet him. It's absolutely no problem. Pick a date." Caleb volunteered. "Parent's love me."

"Of course they do babe, but I don't exactly have a normal living situation…." She rejoined nervously. "I mean, I kind of have roughly anywhere from five to seven parental figures in my life. It just depends on who is around at a given time. They're sort of…interchangeable, like they work in shifts or something."

"That number has grown since last time." He chuckled.

"Yeah well, there are the five people I live with, and then Mark and Callie have been kind of protective of me too since they helped perform my procedure."

Caleb pressed his forehead against hers. "I don't care how long it takes. I'll win them over, every last one of them, okay?" He placed a feathery kiss on her lips before pulling back to look at her.

Amber nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but stopped as her door flew open again.

"Oh, hey guys." Jackson walked in, attempting to seem nonchalant. Amber groaned noticeably. _ Honestly….again? _She thought in irritation.

"WHAT?" Amber questioned, not bothering to cover up her blatant hostility.

"Jeez." Jackson huffed. "Don't get your gown in a knot."

"I'm sorry." Her expression softened slightly, but she maintained a 'no-nonsense' demeanor.

"I just wanted to warn you that Derek let it slip to Alex that Caleb's still here. He's on his way. Thought you might want to prepare yourself."

"You couldn't have told me a little earlier?"

"Hey!" Jackson argued. "I'm an adult…I'm supposed to be on your brother's side. I've crossed into enemy territory just by warning you."

"Fine" Amber lamented, drawing out the world until it sounded close to five syllables. "Thank you for your help."

Jackson nodded before taking off down the hallway, not wanting to be caught giving Amber the head's up.

"I should probably go." Caleb said, pulling himself out of the hospital bed. "This is not how I want my first meeting with your brother to go."

"I know…" Amber empathized. "Can you imagine how awkward that would be?"

"I don't want to have to find out!" He leaned in and kissed her tenderly for a moment before heading out the door. He hesitated for a moment and poked his head back in. "Tell your brother that I'll stop by this week…the next time he is off of work."

"He'll like that."

"Maybe he won't give you such a hard time then."

"I appreciate it, now get out of here!"

Caleb smiled and faded into the crowd. A few moments later, Alex came bounding through the door, a grin plastered across his face. The corners of his mouth quickly fell as he realized Amber was alone in the room.

"Where is he?" Alex tapped his foot accusingly.

"He had to go."

"I can't believe it! You told him to leave!"

"I didn't want your first meeting to be in a hospital room!" Amber defended.

"Not cool." He frowned.

"I'm sorry…but you can't try to force it. Let me arrange the meeting when I'm ready!"

"And to think I was coming to tell you that you're being released at noon! I thought the two of you would want to celebrate together."

"Noon today?" Amber perked up, dismissing the current argument.

"Yeah…I was going to take you home as soon as my shift is over. Everyone is going to come over for a barbeque tonight to welcome you home….if you're up to it."

Amber's face fell. She felt incredibly guilty. Here Alex was trying to do something nice for her and she had hurt his feelings by making him feel like she was too embarrassed to introduce him to Caleb. "I'm sorry…." She apologized quietly. "He said he would stop by sometime this week though."

A light bulb went off in Alex's brain and his grin shot back onto his face immediately. "Tell him to come tonight!"

"Tonight? Wh-no."

"Why not? It's perfect."

"I don't want to put him through that!" Amber laughed, half-joking, half-serious.

"Come on, we aren't going to sacrifice the kid. We just want to meet him for crying out loud."

"I mean…I guess."

"Amber, I'm not going to embarrass you…I just need to meet him if you want me to continue to allow you to date." Alex divulged, sounding deathly seriously.

"Alright, alright….but tonight of all times? I mean…does he have to meet everyone all at once like this?"

"Might as well get it over with. Like a band-aid!"

"Fine, deal."

Alex kissed her on the cheek dotingly and dropped a pile of clothes into her lap. "Get dressed then, baby sister. You're going home."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Amber." A male voice called gently to her. It sounded miles away, as if she was underwater and someone was attempting to gain her attention from the surface. Groggily, she allowed her eyelids to flutter open, realizing that she had fallen asleep at the edge of her bed.

"Amber." Alex repeated, nudging her good arm softly. "Everyone's in the backyard, you should get ready."

Amber glanced at the clock and upon realizing that it was after 5:30 in the evening, she sat up quickly, wincing at the pain that shot through her still wounded shoulder.

"Easy there." Alex cautioned her. "I know that you're excited, but you're still healing a dislocation."

"Why didn't you wake me up sooner?" Amber had returned home from the hospital at noon as promised and had spent a good hour walking through every inch of their house. She had missed it more than one could possibly imagine. More than anything, she had missed her bed. She planned on just lying down for a second…and well now here she is several hours later.

"You just spent four days in the hospital with broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, a severe concussion, temporary amnesia, and not to mention a great deal of insomnia. I wanted to give you at least a couple of hours to rest."

He was being so nurturing that Amber couldn't possibly be so heartless as to argue with him, although it was basically a natural reflex for her to do so whenever he got parental with her. Nevertheless, she refrained. "Tell everyone I'll be outside soon."

"Take your time." He reassured her. "You know this group of surgeons, we never run out of gossip." With that having been said, he left Amber to get ready in private, softly shutting her door behind him.

Amber had no idea that something as simple as getting dressed could become so difficult, but her whole body felt shattered. Raising her arms above her head was excruciating due to her shoulder, bending over too far was out of the question because of her ribs, and of course there was still the ever-present throbbing in her head whenever she turned around any faster than at a snail's pace.

Having not worn real clothes for several days now, Amber wanted to look her best, so she pushed through the pain and avoided remaining in the sweatpants and baggy t-shirt she left the hospital in. Eventually, although not without a great deal of grunting and moaning, she was able to maneuver a black sweater and a pair of skinny jeans over her bandages. After tying a red, plaid scarf around her neck, Amber pulled on some boots and grinned in accomplishment. Once she had dusted some light make-up on, she finally stood back and beamed with pride in the mirror over how well together she looked despite the past week from hell.

Satisfied with her appearance, she took out her iPhone and sent a quick message to Caleb.

_Hey you! Come over whenever you're ready. _

Amber walked into the backyard slowly. She didn't know why everything seemed as if it were an out of body experience. She had only been in the hospital for four days, but it felt as if she hadn't been outside in ages. The cool autumn air caressed her skin with its gentle touch and she was greeted by the welcoming scent of charcoal on the grill. Voices blended together in a hopeless jumble and she was slightly taken aback when she realized just how large their crowd was when all in one place. It seemed like almost the entire hospital was present apart from Bailey, Callie, Lexie, and April, who said they would show up after their shift change. The chatter came to a lull as people began to notice her presence. It was almost eerily silent until Arizona made the first move and flew towards her. After that, the flood gates opened and Amber was greeted by what seemed like an endless flurry of hugs, get well soons, and questions about her recovery.

"Alright, alright let's give the girl some room to breathe." Meredith ordered, her small voice echoing through the backyard. She shooed the men over to the grill to resume flipping burgers and stood awkwardly by Amber's side with Arizona.

"When's Caleb coming?" Meredith asked.

"He should be here any minute."

"Is that the boyfriend?" Arizona inquired.

"Yes." Amber couldn't fight the smile that broke through at the mere thought of him.

Meredith poked her cheek teasingly. "Look at this one."

"Teenage love." Arizona chimed in.

"I am _not_ in love." Amber argued, her face going cold as if the very idea of love was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. Truth be told, it was a foreign concept to her. Any male affection she had ever been given had either been parental guidance from her brothers or….everything else from her mother's various 'man friends.' She didn't know how to love…or how to be loved for that matter.

The two older women exchanged glances, wondering silently about Amber's sudden defensiveness.

"Sorry." Amber offered a fake a laugh. "It's just that we've only been dating for a few months. It's a little too soon to be thinking about love, don't you think?"

"Of course." Meredith agreed, eyeing her young friend skeptically. She threw a look to Amber, alerting her that they were not done talking about this, but she didn't want to pull Arizona into the whole ordeal. Whatever was bothering Amber was clearly private, so Meredith did her best to end the conversation. "That's very mature of you."

Arizona nodded in agreement.

"Speaking of my boyfriend though, I'm going to go have a serious talk with the guys before Caleb gets here." Amber excused herself over to the grill. Meredith giggled as she watched Amber place her hands on her hips and get up in Alex's face, clearly threatening his life if he embarrassed her tonight.

"Meredith, could you do me a favor?" Arizona spoke up

"Sure, what do you need?"

"Could you not mention the whole …'Nora' thing. I don't want any rumors floating around, especially if Callie is coming in a little while."

"Does that mean you are thinking about it?"

Arizona hesitated slightly. "I may have spoken with Wendy….briefly about the matter."

"Wendy? As in 'social worker' Wendy?"

"Yes Meredith." Arizona sighed. "That Wendy."

"And…?"

"I told her that I was merely running a hypothetical scenario by her and wanted to know if it would even be possible for me to get approved given my work schedule. I mean…with the hours I work I've got to be ill-equipped."

"I highly doubt that, but go on…." Meredith pressed.

"So then she made a call to Teddy and inquired about the stability of Nora's immune system and all of the complications that could arise due to post-op complications…"

"So Teddy knows?"

"Yes, and I've all but threatened her life to keep her mouth shut. I don't want this getting back to Callie."

"None of us are going to say anything, quit stalling!" Meredith exclaimed. "What happened next?"

"Anyways, Teddy basically told her that Nora's situation is very unpredictable and that living with a doctor is easily the safest placement social services could make at this point."

"So were you approved?"

"It's not that simple. There's still the issue of the number of hours I work, I have to go through interviews, they have to inspect my apartment, and I should probably run it by the chief in case he thinks it's a conflict of interest…"

"But you are seriously considering this?" Meredith cut her off. That was the only question she was concerned with.

Arizona tossed a blonde curl over her left shoulder before reluctantly looking up to greet the eyes of her friend. "Why do you care anyway?" She parried, attempting to divert attention away from the question at hand.

Meredith shrugged. "I just think it's a good idea…..you….kids."

"Well why not you?"

"I thought about it." Meredith admitted. "But do you ever just…know with absolute certainty that something is right?"

Arizona nodded softly. It was a feeling she had been fighting for a while in many different aspects of her life.

"I didn't have that moment of clarity…" Meredith continued. "It's like the universe has a different plan for me. Maybe right now I'm just meant to help Amber. But when I saw you with her…it was like two puzzle pieces fitting together."

"I'm still thinking about it." Arizona asserted, pointing a finger in Meredith's face. "So don't go thinking that this is a done deal. I don't if it will work out even if I want it to."

"But…." Meredith was practically bouncing on her heels, like a child about to hear a secret.

"But…I might….want to."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber walked over to the grill with guns blazing. _Look at them. _She thought to herself as she grew closer. Derek was saying something with a very serious expression and Alex, Jackson, Mark, and Owen were listening intently. _They think they run this place. Well not tonight. I will not let them send my first serious relationship running for the hills. _

As soon as Derek realized Amber was heading for them, he quickly brought his story to a close. She only caught the tail-end of it, something about a man named 'Clark.'

"Hey, sunshine." Mark took the initiative to greet her first.

"Hello." Amber replied, standing up straight in an attempt to portray authority.

"Is everything alright?" Alex asked.

"I suppose I'll find out." She retorted confidently. "Caleb should be here any minute and I wanted to go over some ground rules."

"Ah, the first boyfriend interrogation! That's always a rocking good time." Owen smiled and took a sip of the soda he was holding.

"I can't wait to meet the victim." Jackson's eyes shone playfully.

"Stop." Amber commanded. "There will be no 'victim' here tonight."

"Do we get to have any fun?" Alex whined, enjoying the rise he was getting out of his little sister.

"Yeah, we just want to ask him a few questions." Derek cut in.

"Here's how the game works." She began, ignoring their jokes. "Alex, Derek, and Jackson can come inside and ask him some _appropriate _questions after he has had a chance to get acquainted with everyone."

"Hey, what about us?" Mark lamented, gesturing to himself and Owen.

"Sorry." Amber shrugged. "I'm not going to overwhelm him. You can stay outside."

Owen merely laughed, but Mark continued to glare at her for a few moments.

"Anyhow…" Amber trekked on. "I will be inside listening and the rules are simple: if you ask a stupid question, you get kicked out. Are we clear?"

"What if we-"

"Are we clear?!" Amber cut Jackson off forcefully.

Alex nearly had to put a hand over his mouth to refrain from laughing, but somehow managed to nod in understanding. It was somewhat adorable how serious Amber was taking this whole ordeal. He had no intentions of embarrassing her…too bad. He was honestly just enjoying how hysterical she was getting over it.

Amber turned to face her brother and Derek. "Seriously…behave guys."

They nodded and then smirked at each other once she turned away. This was comedic gold in their minds.

"Oh god…there he is!" Amber spotted Caleb pushing open the back gate and peering around. "Play it cool!" She warned the boys before speed walking across the yard over to her boyfriend.

Sporting a long-sleeved, white polo and khakis, Caleb looked absolutely jaw-dropping in Amber's opinion. His hair, which was usually endearingly messy had been pushed back and gelled in place. She was greeted by a familiar fluttering in her stomach and she approached him.

"Hi beautiful." He smiled sweetly before leaning in and kissing her on the cheek, mindful of the dozens of eyes on his every move.

"Hey." She replied, grinning moronically. She could hardly take her eyes off of him.

"Wow." Caleb whistled, peering over Amber's shoulder. "This is quite the bunch you have here."

"Remember…" She cautioned playfully. "They're more scared of you than you are of them."

He chuckled in return, nervously pulling down on his polo and running a hand along the surface of his hair. "Do I look okay?"

"You look incredible." She gushed. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Taking his hand, Amber led Caleb into the thick of the crowd. She started him off easy, introducing him to Teddy and Christina, knowing that they would likely be the least abrasive. They were somewhat reserved, but polite all the same. Teddy got a burger for Caleb so that he wouldn't have to introduce himself to the boys prematurely, and surprisingly, Christina asked him a few questions about soccer and school. After a few minutes of small talk, the two surgeons excused themselves to get ready to head back to work. Once they returned to the hospital, Lexie and Callie would be free to leave and head over to the party.

Next, Amber decided to slowly test out the waters with her 'family members' and tentatively brought Caleb over to Meredith and Arizona who were chatting at one of the picnic tables. They were obviously not nearly as shy, proclaiming several times how 'adorable' he was and that Amber 'sure could pick em' well.' Caleb didn't seem too bothered by the attention; in fact, he was incredibly open and spoke to them without hesitation. She had expected him to be slightly shyer, and was pleasantly surprised to see how well he adapted to the hectic situation. This was a lot of people for him to be meeting in one night, and she was, to say the least, very impressed.

Finally, she reluctantly led him towards the men, who had yet to break their circle around the grill.

"Alex." Amber tapped him on the shoulder. _Well, there's no turning back now. _Alex turned around and smiled warmly at his sister.

"You must be Caleb." He extended a hand politely. "I'm Alex, Amber's older brother."

"It's nice to meet you." Caleb responded with a firm handshake.

"I'm Jackson." He held out a hand as well, which Caleb accepted without pause. "Surrogate older brother."

"Mark Sloane." Mark chimed in. "I sewed up her face."

"Mark!" Amber chastised.

"Well I did…"

"I'm Derek…I live with Amber as well and I guess you have probably met my wife, Meredith."

"I'm Owen Hunt." Owen introduced himself last, not bothering to add in some form of title as the others did.

"It's nice to meet you all." Caleb asserted, his voice shockingly steady. "It's long overdue."

"That it is." Alex agreed. "I'm glad you could make it."

"Thank you for the invite."

The seven of them stood there awkwardly. Amber felt like she was about to pass out, this was an absolute nightmare. The silence was daunting. If there hadn't been a large group of people elsewhere in the backyard making noise, she was fairly certain she would have been able to hear her own heartbeat.

"Caleb, can I get you a burger or a hot dog?" Derek offered.

"Oh, no thank you." He denied sweetly. "Dr. Altman grabbed me one earlier."

The silence resumed. It was all Amber could do to keep herself from face-palming.

"Well what do you say we disperse a little and go chat for a while?" Alex asked. "We have a few questions we want to ask."

Caleb nodded nervously, he had been anticipating this. "Sure."

"Mark, Owen…you guys stay here." Amber dictated. Mark scowled for a moment but lost interest once Owen shoved a beer into his vision.

Amber and Caleb walked inside wordlessly with Alex, Jackson, and Derek in tow. They paused in the kitchen, waiting to see where the men would want to convene.

"Why don't we go sit in the living room?" Jackson gestured to the open doorway that led into the television area. Caleb followed obediently and sat down in one of the single chairs. Amber took a seat on the couch facing him and waiting for the others to join. Once all seated, they resumed staring at one another.

"Alright…" Caleb spoke up, anxious to get the session over with. "Is there anything you all want to know?"

Nobody answered at first. Amber's menacing glare was a reminder for them to be _very_ careful how they worded their next few sentences.

"So…." Derek began, tilting his head to the side as if he was wracking his mind for a very important question. "Why don't you tell me about your time in prison?"

Caleb's eyes grew to twice their size as he attempted to recover from the shock of the beginning of his interrogation. "I…never went…to prison." He answered meekly, unsure whether this was some kind of trap.

"A likely story." Derek retorted, his eyes stretching towards the ceiling.

"Out." Amber pointed to the kitchen without skipping a beat. Derek looked over at her with a wounded expression. It slightly reminded her of the face of a basset hound, sad and droopy. "Honestly Derek, you lost the game already? I thought you would last longer than this."

He opened his mouth to protest but Amber simply pointed more harshly to the backyard. Derek stood up and walked through the kitchen to the back door, muttering to himself about 'moody adolescent girls.'

"Want to try this again?" Amber asked. She couldn't deny that she was enjoying the temporary power she held over the men in her life.

"Ever knocked anyone up?" A voice erupted from behind her.

"No!" Caleb exclaimed, his jaw dropping towards the floor.

Amber glanced over her shoulder to see Mark leaning against the door frame that connected to the foyer. He held a beer in one hand and had the other shoved in his pocket casually. A smug grin decorated his face, clearly feeling proud of his ability to knock her boyfriend on his ass with four simple words.

"Oh come on, kid." Marked urged slyly. "A good looking boy like you, I know how it goes."

"Mark!" Amber growled. "You said you would stay outside."

"This looked like more fun." He shrugged, nonchalantly taking a sip of his beer.

"Get out." She commanded. "You can join Derek in the loser's circle."

"Fine." Mark raised his hands, without setting down his drink, of course. "Touchy."

"Anyone else want to ask something dumb and get themselves kicked out?" Amber eyed Alex and Jackson accusingly.

"Caleb." Jackson spoke up, looking almost apologetic. "I'm sorry about all of that…just consider it like hazing.

"Amber, could you give us a minute?" Alex asked.

Amber glanced at Caleb apprehensively. He gave her a reassuring nod, letting her know that he could handle whatever else this 'family' had to throw at him.

"If I trust you guys on this am I going to regret it?"

"No." Alex and Jackson responded simultaneously.

"I really mean that." Alex tacked on.

Amber stood up slowly, silently weighing the pros and cons of the situation in her head. In the end, whatever would earn her Alex's blessing was likely the right way to go. So she took a deep breath and dragged her feet out of the living room, through the kitchen, and into the backyard to find Meredith.

The three men stared at each other in another awkward silence for a few moments. Caleb was unsure whether he was meant to initiate the conversation. He opted to remain quiet instead.

"Look kid." Alex started, leaning forward in his seat a little. "I'm not here to ask you about your intentions or to find out what you plan to do with your life or anything like that. I honestly just wanted to meet you because I didn't feel comfortable with Amber dating someone I didn't know."

Caleb nodded, somewhat shocked that they hadn't threatened his existence yet.

"We just want to know that you're in this relationship for the right reasons and that you will do right by Amber." Jackson added on. "She has…a lot of people that care about her. More than most people."

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt her." Caleb answered, a hint of confusion lingering in his voice. He didn't quite understand how anyone could hurt Amber. She had this natural innocence to her, despite the fact that she had clearly been through a lot. She had never opened up to him about any specific events of her past, but she had a maturity that far surpassed that of almost any high school or college student he knew, the kind that only came from hardship or loss. "I mean…you say she has a lot of people that care about her…I'm one of them."

Jackson raised an eyebrow in shock. He had to hand it to the kid, he was certainly smooth. He exchanged glances with Alex, whose eyes were portraying the same sense of bewilderment.

Having heard all he needed to be at peace, Jackson placed a hand on the side of the couch and pushed himself to stand. As much as he considered himself an honorary parent to Amber, whatever else remained was a father's duty. And as far as he was concerned, given all that he had witnessed since her arrival, that person was, and always had been, Alex. "I've heard I'll that I need. I think the rest of this is Alex's job."

Jackson excused himself quickly, not wanting to cause an unnecessary disturbance in the serious mood that had fallen across the room.

"Dr. Karev…" Caleb spoke up timidly. "I'm sorry that I didn't make more of an effort to meet you guys any sooner. I guess I thought you would all hate me after what happened the night Amber snuck out to see me."

Alex couldn't help but laugh at that one. After everything that had gone on recently, Amber's midnight excursion to Caleb's house seemed like a different century. It almost seemed odd to him, now that he thought about it, that he had never blamed Caleb for that mishap. He had exhausted all of his anger and disappointment on Amber before having the chance to lash out at her boyfriend.

"I can understand you not being comfortable with us being together until you met me. I have a little sister too…I know it's not the same situation as yours, but you have to protect them regardless." He continued, unsure where this sudden burst of courage had come from. Perhaps it was seeing that all this family really wanted was to make sure Amber didn't endure any more pain than she likely already had, and he could definitely condone that type of approach. "I mean, you would want to know if she was with like, a dirt bag or something."

Alex chuckled. "Yeah…and you know what?"

Caleb lifted his eyes, willing the older man to continue.

"From what I can tell…you aren't one."

Caleb immediately knew that this was Alex's odd method of offering his approval.

"So there's nothing I need to be concerned about?" Alex pried a little. He had promised himself that he wouldn't embarrass Amber, but there were still some answers he wanted in order to put his own mind at ease. "Good grades, good family, no criminal record?"

"Yes, yes, and no." Caleb rattled off. "Not even a speeding ticket."

"Well then, there really isn't much for me to complain about." Alex admitted. "You have my 'blessing' or whatever…for what it's worth."

"I really do appreciate it. It means a lot to Amber…and me."

"You know kid…I was fully prepared to not like you. In fact, I was kind of banking on it."

Caleb didn't quite know how to respond to such a statement, it caught him off guard somewhat.

"I guess we both surprised ourselves tonight, huh?" Alex added on as an afterthought.

"Yeah…I guess we did."

"What do you say we go find your girl?"

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"You seriously like him?" Amber asked for the fourth time. She had Jackson cornered against the fence near the backdoor.

"Yes!" Jackson exclaimed in frustration. It was as if Amber simply couldn't believe that everyone approved of her choice. "We all do."

Amber looked to Meredith, who was standing off to the side with Lexie, for reassurance.

"We mean it sweetheart, you did well. He seems like a real gentleman." Meredith verified Jackson's statement.

"I haven't met him yet." Lexie pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You will." Amber laughed. "I have to make sure he's still alive first."

As if on cue, she caught sight of Caleb and Alex emerging from the back door. The two walked over casually. Amber sensed no awkward or hostile vibes between them which was…somewhat unexpected. She introduced Caleb to Lexie with haste and left them to chat so she could slip away with her older brother for a moment.

"Well?" She asked, once the two of them were out of hearing distance.

Alex only smiled and planted a kiss on the top of his sister's head. "You did fine, kiddo."

"That's it?" Amber spat. "All of that worrying and you are cool with it just like that?"

He shrugged in reply. "What can I say? The dude's a gentleman…a gentleman of promise."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means that no one on this earth will ever be good enough for you…" Alex placed his hands on his knees so that he was at eye level with Amber. "But…this one is close enough for now."

Amber held his gaze for a long period of time, searching for any signs of wavering opinion in his eyes, but saw none. A smile eventually spread across her face. "I can live with that."

Alex looped an arm around Amber's shoulders and began to lead her back towards the party. "Yeah, so can I." He agreed happily, wanting to linger in this moment as long as possible. The most important person in his life was beneath his arm and a large group of friends and 'family' were waiting for him just a few yards ahead. "I can live with all of this."

* * *

><p><strong>AWWWW. Gotta love that sibling fluff! Alright guys, I hope this incredibly long chapter helped to make up for my severe lack of updates lately. Please take the time to review and tell me what you thought! Until next time! XXMaddie <strong>


	18. Sanctuary Part 1

**Sorry for the wait. It's final exam time, unfortunately. I still have three left, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! **

**So, I am fairly certain that this will be at least a three or four part thing. I simply cannot do the shooting justice in a single chapter. There's way too much content and dialogue I want to cover. **

**For the sake of time and confusion, I will not be writing about Bailey's story within the shooting. I couldn't make Amber fit in enough to make it relevant. And if you notice any other differences to the actual storyline (apart from the obvious ones), I probably did it on purpose so have no fear. **

**I was sooo nervous to do the shooting, because honestly, I just don't think I'm mature enough of a writer to handle something this intense. So all I can hope is that I did not make a mockery out of what I consider to be two of the greatest episodes of Grey's Anatomy ever. **

**Just know that I tried really really really hard! **

**Okay, enough stalling. Here it is:**

* * *

><p><em>For most people, the hospital is a scary place. A hostile place. A place where bad things happen. Most people would prefer church, or school, or home, but I grew up here. While my mom was on rounds, I learned to read in the OR gallery, I played in the morgue, I colored with crayons on old ER charts. The hospital was my church, my school, my home; the hospital was my safe place, my sanctuary. I love it here. Correction: loved it here.<em>  
><strong>- Meredith Grey: Season 6, Episode 23<strong>

**XXXXXXX**

The pain. It was equivalent to being branded with searing iron repeatedly in the same place. _Just make it to the elevator. _Alex coaxed himself. _Someone will be able to help you. _Placing one hand on the cold floor in front of him, he dragged his body, causing himself to slide through a pool of his own blood.

It might have been the loss of blood causing his thoughts to become incoherent, but for whatever reason, his thoughts drifted to the old action movies he used to watch with Aaron on Friday nights. When their mother could remember to pay the cable bill, which wasn't often, they would sneak into the den late at night and spend hours watching marathons on AMC, or whatever channel would come in the clearest. No matter what film they saw, there was always a plethora of gun slinging. Alex could recall once or twice wondering what it felt like to be shot. He imagined everyone wondered that at some point or another. He never wanted to experience it, but…there was always that natural curiosity.

Pulling himself in agony across a three yard stretch that was beginning to feel like miles, his curiosity had been met. It was a cruel combination of the fires of hell and the biting ice of the Arctic Circle all at once. It reminded him of holding his hand under hot water too long. If you are exposed to the heat long enough, you eventually experience that brief moment where it starts to feel freezing. This was similar to that, only magnified tenfold.

_Am I dying? _He wondered calmly. There was no panic, only determination and confusion. His body was still moving, somehow. Adrenaline had taken over and he was steadily inching towards the elevator doors.

_Amber. _He thought suddenly, his body temperature dropping as he frantically tried to crawl faster. There was a shooter in the hospital somewhere, and he needed to make it out alive; if not for himself, then for her. He couldn't help but notice the irony. He wasn't afraid of dying…but he _was_ afraid of dying on his sister. Amber: the girl he had left behind with little remorse seven years ago. Amber: the girl that he had wanted nothing more than to forget five months earlier. Amber: the girl that he would do _anything _for now.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"I was fine. You didn't have to come get me." Amber argued, crossing her arms and sinking into the passenger seat of Jackson's silver Chrysler. After passing out during free period, the school nurse had demanded she return home for the day, or in her case, to a hospital on-call room. Alex had been called, but was in surgery, so the torch was thereby handed to his second in command.

Jackson gripped the steering wheel tightly to the point that his knuckles turned white. Amber was seriously testing his patience. "Amber, you had strict orders to refrain from any strenuous, physical activity."

"I didn't know that soccer counted as-"

"Oh, no you don't." He cut her off before she could complete her excuse. "I was sitting right there when Derek told you that your head injury was severe enough that you could not participate for at least another week."

Amber remained silent, sensing there was more to come.

"But you chose to disregard everything he told you instead. Your first day back at school and you start scrimmaging during free period!"

"I didn't think that it would be a big deal."

"Obviously it's a big deal. You lost consciousness."

"Can we just drop this? My head is killing me." Amber mumbled.

Jackson was thankful when they reached a stop light so he could glare at her without risking a car crash. "Just because you went through a trauma doesn't mean you don't have to follow the rules around here anymore."

Amber was already deep within her defensive mode and had to use an overwhelming amount of willpower to keep herself from firing back with a sassy comment. "I know and I'm really sorry." She replied with as much sincerity as she could muster.

Jackson continued to glare at her, not noticing the light had turned green. After receiving an aggravated honk from the Station Wagon behind him, he reluctantly returned his attention to the road.

"I really am." Amber reassured him. "I'll be more careful." She hadn't been trying to make things harder on herself or on anybody else. All she wanted was to play soccer. It wasn't healthy to go too long without some form of outlet for emotional release. Some people had drugs, some people had music, some people had surgery…she had soccer. It was her release, and lately, she really needed one.

Things just seemed to be spiraling out of control. She wanted more than anything to forget all the bad things that had happened, but she couldn't quite get back into the normal flow of things. Even the atmosphere in the house was somewhat off. Derek was running around with private, hospital legal trouble on his mind, Alex and Jackson had thrown all of their energy into surgical affairs, and even Meredith was carrying about like she had a secret, spending a lot of time whispering with Christina. Amber could guess what it might be, although she wasn't positive. She found an empty box for a pregnancy test in the trashcan of the downstairs bathroom a day or two earlier. That meant one of two things. Either Alex had impregnated Lexie, which Amber was most certainly not okay with….or Meredith was going to have a baby, which didn't bother her so much.

Jackson pulled into the parking lot of Seattle Grace Mercy West wordlessly. After parking, the two continued to walk side by side in silence. He allowed his eyes to flicker to the teenager for a moment. She really did look apologetic. "Alright Amber, here's what's going to happen." He spoke up.

Amber glanced in his direction before directing her gaze towards the entrance of the hospital.

"I understand that living with five doctors during a recovery is a little bit too much to handle sometimes, but you're going to have to suck it up and do what we say or you won't get better."

"I understand." She mumbled as the automatic doors parted before them.

Jackson grabbed her good arm gently. "Not good enough kiddo." He waited until Amber looked up at him before lowering his voice and continuing with his lecture. "We would all do anything to keep you from getting hurt…but I need you to take better care of yourself, alright? You need to _want_ to get better."

Amber nodded, making sure to maintain eye contact so her agreement would come across as believable and Jackson would shut up. It wasn't that she didn't want to heal…she had just stopped caring somewhere along the way. Every promise she made to take care of herself, to treat herself better than her parents had, ended in detriment eventually. Her only choice now was a more stoic approach, accepting that she would _always_ be on the short end of the stick and there was nothing she could do about it. Why should she care? She would be lying if she claimed the thought of ending it hadn't crossed her mind once or twice growing up.

Jackson seemed satisfied with her compliance and proceeded to lead Amber over to the main elevator where he found Christina waiting. Without warning, his pager went off. He glanced down at it grudgingly. Gunshot wound.

"Damn. I have to take this. Yang, would you take her upstairs with you?"

"Of course." She smiled down at Amber as warmly as she knew how too.

"Thank you." Jackson said appreciatively. He tousled Amber's hair before taking off running in the opposite direction. Amber and Christina stepped into the elevator, not bothering with pleasantries. Glancing around, they were alone, apart from a nervous looking, older man standing towards the far right side.

He looked almost angry, his face permanently fixed with a half-scowl causing his grey mustache to point downward. Christina stared at the floor, contemplating her shoes, wallowing in self pity over her recent break up with her boyfriend, Owen. The elevator was eerily silent, until the man spoke up.

"Excuse me, could you tell me where to find the chief?" He questioned, his voice absent of all emotion.

There was something about his empty tone that Amber couldn't quite shake….a trace of desire, a sense of purpose…an ulterior motive. The way he asked for Derek's location reminded her of the way Steve used to ask her mother where 'that daughter of hers' was. She felt goose bumps form on the skin of her arms at the mere thought.

Christina clearly didn't interpret the same warning, as she answered without skipping a beat. "Dr. Sheppard? He's probably in his office."

"I've been to his office before…can't seem to remember how to get there. I keep going in circles."

Amber silently urged Christina to make up an excuse…to say that she forgot, but her attempt at telepathy was no use. She replied flatly with a rather detailed set of directions, leading straight to Derek's office.

"Thank you." The man said. They arrived at the next floor and he lingered slightly before putting one foot in front of the other and stepping out of the elevator. "Have a nice day."

"You too." Christina answered politely as the doors closed and the strange man disappeared from Amber's sight.

She was tempted to get snippy with Christina about so willingly giving up Derek's whereabouts, but she thought against it as her brother drifted into her mind. "Shouldn't Alex be out of surgery by now?"

"His surgery got out over an hour ago." Christina answered nonchalantly. "Why?"

"When the school called he didn't answer."

"Try again."

Amber fumbled through her book-bag for her iPhone. She quickly hit her brother's number on speed dial and her heart rate quickened as it rang with no response. She had a bad feeling about this…worse than ever.

"No answer."

"I'm sure it's fine." Christina shrugged.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

The phone calls and red tape were never ending. After four years of college, four years of medical school, and countless years practicing medicine to become an attending, Derek's job had switched from medical to political in a heartbeat. He shuffled mindlessly through the scattered papers on his desk. Being Chief of Surgery was meant to be a high honor, but in Derek's mind, it seemed more like a curse with each passing moment.

The loathing of his job was quickly interrupted as April Kepner burst into his office. Immediately, Derek took in sight of the front of her scrubs, which were drenched in blood. His palms grew clammy as he attempted to keep his thoughts in order and take in every word he was hearing as she rambled on about growing up on a farm and understanding the phrase "bleeding like a stuck pig." Derek allowed himself less than half of a second to feel overwhelmed before jumping into action. He had no idea what was going on, but unfortunately, this job meant that it was his responsibility to handle it.

"April, April. Calm down, you're in shock. What happened?" He demanded, placing his hands on the young girl's shoulders, trying to bring her back to reality. The fear in her eyes was unmistakable, the look of someone who had just witnessed something horrible.

"Reed's dead." She stuttered out through tears. "S-s-someone shot her."

Derek typically prided himself on his ability to think quickly in crunch situations. Hell, it was the reason he succeeded in the medical field to begin with. However, now, dealing with something completely out of his league, he stood frozen. It reminded him of opening the first page of a tough exam in high school. You look, stare at the first question, and suddenly realize that you have absolutely no idea what you are being asked. It's a horrendous moment really, the careful commingling of fear, confusion, and helplessness.

Knowing that he was on his own for the time being, he shook his head, silently urging himself to get it together. He led April to a chair on the opposite side of the room and guided her to sit down. He then wasted no time on ripping his office phone off of the receiver. His fingers shook as he fumbled to press the numbers that would reach hospital security.

After explain the situation, although he knew that he was likely as incoherent as April in the beginning, he was nowhere closer to receiving the answers he needed. Cradling the phone against his shoulder, he rapidly flipped through a book of emergency protocol he found in the bottom drawer of his desk.

"No…I know it's never happened before." He argued with the head of security on the other line. On cue, he finally reached the page he was looking for. "I found it. Lockdown. Nobody moves in or out…yeah. Nobody moves, nobody leaves until we know what's going on." He slammed the phone back onto the receiver and took a deep breath. He reassured himself that the police would arrive soon and the situation would be handled.

He turned his attention back to April who sat opposite him, doing her best to steady her breathing. Derek walked towards her and wiped the little remaining blood off of her forehead with a washcloth.

"The police are almost here." He informed her. "I need to go for a minute. You going to be okay here by yourself?"

She quickly returned to her frantic state. "N-no. You-you just said that n-nobody leaves-"

"Nobody but me." Derek cut her off. "I'm the chief, this is my hospital."

She opened her mouth to continue arguing, but Derek was halfway out the door before she had the time to form another sentence. He needed reinforcements. Three of his best surgeons, three people he could count on, three people he needed now more than ever were huddled together in the O.R. operating on a gunshot victim with absolutely no idea what was happening outside.

He moved down the hallway right on the cusp of walking and running, his steps evolving into a light job as he reached the surgical wing and he knew that nobody was around to question his haste. Derek grabbed a mask and held it over his face as he pushed his way into the operating room.

"How's it going in here?" He asked.

Owen shook his head violently. "Touch and go." He responded over his shoulder.

Derek glanced around apprehensively for a moment. He couldn't risk alarming Owen or Teddy. They were doing the majority of intricate work. He needed someone who would have less of a chance of harming the patient, but also someone he could trust. "Avery, you got a second?"

Jackson quickly grabbed a clothed and wrapped it around his blood soaked gloves before turning and walking over to converse with Derek.

"Has anybody checked their pager?"

"No we've been too busy." Jackson answered, sounding almost out of breath.

Derek wasted no time in getting to business. Jackson could handle it, that much he was sure of. "There's a shooter in the hospital. I don't want you to say a word, but when the patient is stable…I want you to tell Owen and Hunt that no one goes out of here until they are told."

Jackson couldn't bring himself to say anything in return. This was impossible. It had to be a joke.

"Can you handle this?"

Jackson stared vacantly into Derek's eyes for a moment before shakily responding. "Yes sir."

"Good." Derek turned to leave, but Jackson caught his arm, suddenly coming to a new realization.

"Who is Amber with?"

"Amber's here?" Derek's heart dropped into his stomach.

"I picked her up early from school…she wasn't feeling well. I had to rush here so I had her get in the elevator to the main floor with Yang." Jackson whispered. Any attempts at level headedness were shot to hell at this point.

"I'll find her."

"Derek I-"

"Jackson." He lowered his voice. "I will find her. Get back to surgery."

Jackson didn't respond, Derek didn't give him the chance before he was back out the door. Wordlessly, he walked back over to the surgical table. How the hell did this happen?

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Arizona let out a puff of air to send her blonde bangs flying out from in front of her eyes. The pediatrics' wing was a flurry of confusion this afternoon, bustling with irritated parents and terrified children. She spun around in a quick circle, wising that Alex Karev were by her side. He had disappeared maybe an hour earlier after giving her his thoughts on an x-ray. _He's like a child. _She thought sheepishly to herself. _Can't take my eyes off of him for a second._

Instead, she was stuck with Callie. But as much as it pained her to admit it, she was somewhat happy that she was close by, even if Callie was infuriated with her currently. The fact of the matter was, today was not an easy day. They were understaffed, sleep deprived, and it was nice to have someone competent in the general vicinity she was in.

She walked into the room that held Nora, feeling her heart literally swell with warmth at the sight of her lying in bed, her blue eyes dancing around the room as she took in the various pictures and colors. However what caught Arizona off guard was her appearance. Over the past couple of days, Nora's health had been on a steady incline. But today, her cheeks were absent of color, beads of sweat lined her forehead, and she seemed to be squirming more than usual.

Swiftly, she popped a thermometer into the toddler's mouth, rubbing her arm gently to keep her from moving. She yanked it out after hearing the beep and scowled at the "101.4" that stared back at her.

"Do you feel okay?" She asked calmly.

"Cold." The tiny voice replied.

"Well I can fix that." Arizona smiled, pulling the blankets tightly around the young girl's tiny frame and tucking them under her body. "You'll be warm in no time. Try to go to sleep alright? I'll be back with some medicine soon."

Nora nodded and turned her head to the side, which caused her face to vanish in a sea of blonde curls. Arizona sighed and walked out of the room, hastening her steps towards the nurses' station. She knew that this was likely just Nora's body resisting the alteration towards one of the vital organs, but it was still unsettling. As she made her way into the main room, the first thing she noticed was Callie, leaning against one of the counters with her chin resting on her fist, looking like a pouty adolescent.

"Can you page Dr. Altman for me and see if she is out of surgery?" Arizona asked one of the nurses somewhat anxiously. The surgeon half of her was commanding her brain to shut up, telling her how common it is for the human body to put up a small fight when major changes have been made. It wasn't as if Nora's symptoms were any rise for concern. However, the other half of her, the half that cared for this child on a much deeper level than professionally acceptable, wanted a second opinion.

The nurse's eyes grew wide in astonishment and she hung up the phone, her hand twitching ever so slightly. "We're on lockdown."

Arizona allowed her eyes to drift to Callie's face briefly before she comprehended the words that had just been uttered. "What? Why?"

"Oh come on…" Callie lamented from the other side of the station.

"It's a joke right? It's a drill?" Arizona began to ask but was abruptly silenced as a chorus of pager's sounded throughout the room. "Ok. This is no drill. Everyone…we're sealing the floor. I don't know why and it doesn't matter why, but no one goes in or out past the double doors. Check on your own patients then come back and see if there are any others. We don't have a lot of hands on deck. And people…do not alarm the makers of the tiny humans. They will eat you alive."

Everyone began to disperse quickly and Arizona looked to Callie as she picked up the phone and held it to her ear. "I really thought that was a joke."

"Sick joke." Callie scoffed.

"Excuse me?"

"Uh…nothing."

Arizona shook her head in disbelief. She had expected the immaturity; in fact, she would be frightened if Arizona hadn't shown some signs of anger. But at work? In the middle of a crisis no less? The least she could do was perform on a professional level. "What? You can't be stuck on the same floor as me? That's a hardship for you?"

"Uh, yeah….it is." Callie replied without a single display of emotion before turning and walking to go check on her patients.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber sat in boredom on a stationary hospital gurney in an empty corridor of the hospital. Yang was next to her, swinging her legs, lost in thought as she made notes on a patient chart that sat in her lap. Amber pulled her iPhone back out of her pocket and dialed Alex's number again. She couldn't deny that she was beginning to panic. Alex _never_ missed her calls. He openly admitted that working in a hospital made him paranoid, that every time the phone rang he couldn't help but worry that something had happened to her. For that reason, unless he was in surgery, he always answered. _Always._

"Kid, calm your jets." Christina glanced up. "He's just busy."

"That's never stopped him before." Amber countered.

"Everything's fine. Quit your worrying. It's driving me up the wall."

The double doors leading into the hallway opened and Meredith emerged into their view.

"Meredith!" Amber jumped up out of her seat and ran over to her friend. "Where's Alex?"

"I haven't seen him." She dismissed Amber curtly, as if short on time. Meredith placed a hand on the small of her back and led her over to the gurney. "Did you get that page? Lockdown?"

"What?" Amber nearly shouted in Christina's direction.

Christina ignored her and shook her head as if the situation were far beneath her concerns. "Yeah, I mean whatever. It means we can't leave. I never leave here anyway, so what do I care?"

Meredith chuckled and Amber glared in their direction. How could they not be taking this seriously?

"You know it's probably just a drill, or like a psych patient got out…or a baby went missing from the nursery." She took a bite of the apple she held in her right hand before continuing. "Or there's an axe murder on the loose."

"An axe murderer would be fun!" Meredith joined in playfully, plopping down next to Christina.

"I don't think you guys should be joking." Amber urged them timidly. "This is serious."

"Can it rug rat." Christina shot back before returning her focus to Meredith. "So…how did he react? Was his world made whole because your womb is not empty and dry? Did he weep like a bitch-baby?"

"I didn't tell him because he was in a mood." Meredith answered, sounding somewhat disenchanted "I want him to be happy because it's a good thing. It should be special!"

"You're pregnant?" Amber asserted herself into the conversation, reeling from the newly obtained information. Truth be told, she more pleased that it wasn't Lexie than anything else.

Meredith tilted her head slightly and shrugged. "What do you think about it?"

"I think it's amazing." She answered truthfully. For a moment her concern for her brother vanished into the background as she contemplated the idea of Meredith and Derek as new parents. "I think you would be an incredible mom."

Meredith smiled warmly before Christina butted back in. "You found out squatting over a stick in the bathroom. That's not special. Why should he get special?"

"I feel like I'm going to explode because I want to tell him and I haven't. I hate it! This is good news, he should know, right?" She looked to her friends for confirmation, interpreting their lack of protest as compliance. "You know what? I'm telling him now."

"Ohh!" Christina exclaimed, grabbing Amber by the arm and pulling her up to follow Meredith. Amber cringed at the strain on her still-healing dislocation. "We're coming."

After receiving only a look in return, she expanded on her previous statement. "I want to see the bitch-baby tears."

Meredith raised an eyebrow at Christina. She loved her, but this was sort of a private moment.

"We'll stay in the hallway. I just…." She paused and took a deep breath. "I broke up with Owen."

"A look of realization spread across Meredith's face. She couldn't possibly turn her down now and Christina new it. She was a crafty one like that. "Alright…come on you two."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Lexie moved about the center of the main floor of the hospital, working hard to keep busy. Although scut work was the farthest thing from her mind, it was much better to worry about getting an attending signature on the order form in her hand than it was to fret over the whereabouts of her boyfriend, her older sister, and her friends. The only thing she was thankful for at this current moment was that Amber was at school. At least she could be sure, without a shadow of a doubt, that one person she cared about what having a normal day.

Sighing, she tentatively approached Mark Sloane. She didn't want to converse with him. She had been avoiding that very action since their spirited break up several months ago. He was a wonderful person, but she felt a duty to protect Alex from getting shoved into the middle of ex-boyfriend drama.

"I need you to sign off on this." Lexie muttered as she came up next to him, staring at the chipped nail polish on her fingers rather than at the smug look that seemed to be constantly glued to Mark's masculine features.

"Lock down. Really crazy, right?" Mark asked, doing his best to focus on the chart on his hands and not steal a glance at the woman next to him. "You think it's anything serious?"

"Can you just sign your name?" She dismissed his attempts at sparking a conversation. Engaging him was a dangerous game. He was clever and never broke a sweat in obtaining the information he needed.

"Is this Karev thing serious?" He questioned.

"Mark." Lexie cut him off.

"I miss you." He finally looked her straight in the eyes, giving his best puppy face for good measure.

"Can you just sign the order?" She demanded, anger bubbling in her chest. It was a foreign concept to her, why this man couldn't allow her to be happy. Alex made her feel important, he made her feel like she belonged somewhere. She felt like with Mark, towards the end of their relationship at least, she had been trying to force herself into a life she didn't blend in with. It was like wearing jeans at a black and white cocktail party, awkward and out of place.

"Now is as good of a time as any to hash this out." He commented, shifting his body to face hers. "It's just odd how you can leave me when I decided to make an appearance in my estranged daughter's life, but you have no issues playing mommy dearest with Karev's kid."

"She's his sister." Lexie spat back. "And I don't have to justify myself to you. I'm not raising a baby with him, Mark. She is fifteen years old and _his_ responsibility. I care about her a lot and yes, occasionally I act on the parental side, but don't you dare pretend like it's the same situation."

Mark stood contemplating this momentarily, frustrated that his guilt trip failed to make any kind of impact towards her demeanor. "I still miss you." He mumbled.

"Just sign it." She whispered, extending the chart to him without eye contact.

The awkward encounter between the ex-lovers suddenly came to an end as a nurse frantically called after a man who appeared to be vacating the main floor. "Sir! Sir! You cannot leave this area, the hospital is on lockdown!" She shouted after him.

What happened next was akin to a slow motion replay at the end of a close football game. Lexie glanced up, as this seemingly distraught man standing on the stairs reached into the side of his coat. As he produced the gun from his pocket, she saw what was happening, Mark did too, but there was absolutely nothing that could be done to prevent what would follow. The first shot fired and Mark immediately grabbed Lexie and hurled their bodies to the ground, throwing himself on top of her like a shield. Maybe this beautiful woman no longer cared about him, maybe he had lost his chance, but he would still be damned if he let anything happen to her. Not in a million years.

The main floor was in utter disarray as people ran for their lives, screaming. Lexie did an army crawl until she reached the nurse's station, greeted by the corpse of a woman who was only trying to stop this man for his own safety. This nurse wasn't necessarily her friend, but Lexie interacted with her almost every day. She didn't know a single thing about her, whether she was married, had kids, what she did in her spare time.

"No…no…no." Lexie stuttered in shock. This was a person, _a good person_, a human being stretched lifelessly before her in a pool of blood. "She's dead." She continued to choke out as Mark tried to pick her up off of the floor. "She's dead."

"Come on!" Mark shouted above the noise as he yanked her to her feet and began to pull her alongside of him. She felt a small surge of gratitude shine through her terror. She was far too gone to make sense of her surroundings, and had it not been for Mark, she would likely still be crouched behind the nurse's counter starting at a dead body.

Marked wrapped an arm protectively around her upper body and cradled the side of her head in his palm as he made his way through the thick of the crowd. People ran off in every direction, calling for loved ones and searching for different escape routes. Finally, he stood in front of the elevator and began jabbing the button repeatedly, doing his best to maintain a firm grasp on the frightened young surgeon next to him.

As the elevator doors parted, the sight before him stole his breath in a way he had never experienced. The only thing he could compare it to was when Derek accidentally hit him in the stomach with a metal baseball bat when they were in middle school. He practically had to beg "Mama Sheppard" not to rush him to the emergency room as she was convinced he might have suffered internal damage.

Lexie blinked rapidly, attempting to regain composure. As she finally came to, staring into the elevator, she couldn't even muster up the breath to scream. There, in a heap on the elevator floor in front of her, was a man. He was flat on his back, a large blood puddle staring back at her menacingly next to his still body. That was when it hit her. That wasn't just a man. It wasn't just another helpless victim, a nurse that she knew nothing about. The man in front of her…was her boyfriend. It was Alex.

To be continued….

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><p><strong>I could reallyyyy use some feedback on this chapter, folks! I haven't had too much practice with super dramatic writing, so please let me know your thoughts and opinions! It would mean a lot to me!<strong>


	19. Sanctuary Part 2

**Please read this A/N. There's some important information about a change I made to the shooting story line. **

**Hi everyone! Hope you're having a lovely holiday season. I didn't want to make you wait so long, but I've really been enjoying the time with my family. **

**Before people freak out, I should warn you that I changed Alex, Lexie, and Mark's location. There really wasn't a logical way that I could have Amber discover her brother's condition when she's supposed to end up in the surgical wing with Meredith and Christina. So…I just shoved them closer to one another. I apologize if this alteration offends anyone, but yeah…I gotta be my own person and what not. **

**Also, I only focused this chapter on Amber's location and Alex's location so I could do some flashbacks of their past. There will be some Jackson and Arizona/Callie in the next chapter.**

**I hope everybody had a wonderful holiday, whether it was Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, etc… I just hope it was awesome! I know mine was! **

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Oh my god." Lexie tried to say over and over. Each time, however, she only came out with a slight whimper, sounding more like a wounded puppy than a person.

Mark recognized the young surgeon before him immediately. It was the same man that he had once wanted to be his plastic surgery protégé. It was the same man that had chosen working with children over working with him. It was the same man that had stolen the love of his life away from him. And still, despite all of those things, all Mark could think about at that moment was saving his life.

"Come on Lexie." He commanded, taking hold of her wrist and pulling her into the elevator.

"W-where are we going?" She questioned, resisting his pull.

"As far away from this floor as we can." He replied, yanking her with a force that she could not counter. She flew into the elevator and Mark instantly pressed the button that would lead them to the lowest level of the hospital with the equipment they would need: the surgical floor.

As Lexie felt the floor drop from beneath them once they started their descent, she kneeled down next to Alex, her white sneaker quickly dying itself a deep shade of red as blood gathered around her foot. "Alex…Alex babe, can you hear me?"

_Alex dragged his feet into his bedroom slowly, his body throbbing from lack of sleep and excessive work. He had just pulled a double shift at a local diner a few miles south of their pitiful excuse for a house. He hated to work all day, worrying that Aaron and Amber would get into some sort of trouble and he wouldn't be able to bail them out of it. However, somebody had to pay the bills…and that clearly wasn't going to be their mother. _

_This was his second job. One just didn't seem to cut it anymore since he became a medical student. He barely had any money left over from his school expenses to spend on his family; so unfortunately, Aaron had been forced to pull a few shifts too on the weekends. His mom also brought in some money when she was on her medications, but somehow, they were still barely scraping by. That would all be over soon, though. In a few days he would be a surgical intern in Seattle and he would finally be able to send them an ample check every month. _

_Alex was suddenly alarmed by the silence that surrounded him in their house. This place was never quiet. He usually came home to the chaotic sounds of Amber and Aaron yelling back and forth at each other. Most nights he rarely got a chance to hang up his coat before he was forced to go play referee, therapist, drill sergeant, or whatever else he needed to be for his siblings. He had no idea how a little girl could cause so much mayhem, but she often found a way. _

_Flipping on the light in his bedroom, he realized why it was so quiet. The clothes that had been neatly organized in several suitcases a day earlier were now strewn across the floor as well as along his bed. The boxes titled 'miscellaneous' had also had their contents removed and placed on any open surfaces, including the floor. Alex groaned in irritation._

"_Amber Karev!" He shouted, calling for the culprit to reveal herself. As he expected, there was no response. "I'm serious kiddo, get out here right now!" _

_Normally he would cut his losses and clean up the mess on his own, but this was the second time she had attempted to thwart his moving plans and he knew it was time for them to have a much needed heart-to-heart. He had been putting it off until now, knowing it would likely be one of the hardest moments in his young life. _

_After several seconds of silence, Alex grunted and delivered his usual threat. "Alright, Amber, I'm counting. One…." The house remained quiet. He hated when he had to start counting at her. It seemed like such a cliché thing to do, and he honestly had no idea what he would do if he ever reached three. Thankfully, it freaked her out enough that he never had to find out. "Two…."_

"_Okay, okay!" He heard a panicked voice sound from the other side of the house. He chuckled softly to himself as he heard her tiny feet pound against the wooden floors until she reached his doorway. She stood nervously, her head hung in defeat, causing her brunette bangs to shield her face. _

"_Amber…" He kept his voice low, trying hard not to laugh. It was difficult to remain serious with her, she was too damn cute. "Get in here."_

_The young girl walked in at a dramatically slow pace. She allowed her socks to slide across the floor a few inches at a time, eventually standing in front of her older brother without looking up to meet his eyes._

_Alex lifted her under her arms and sat her down on the top of his dresser so that they would be on the same level. Bringing his face closer to hers, he could see her glassy expression as tears formed along the brim of her eyes._

"_This needs to stop, Amber." He gestured to the mess behind him. "You know better than this."_

"_You're leaving." She stated plainly, barely above a whisper. She didn't know whether he would accept this as a justifiable excuse for her actions, but it was in all honesty, the reason she had messed with his things. _

_Alex ran a hand down the back of his head, not knowing how to approach such a topic. "We've talked about this, Amber."_

"_No, you've talked." She corrected him, sounding well beyond her eight years. "I haven't said anything because I don't get it. I don't get why you have to move across the country to take care of us." _

"_I told you already, honey, this way I can make enough money to support you and Aaron." _

"_You're doing that here."_

"_Barely." He replied. She was far too young to understand their financial situation. His income was hardly enough for rent, utilities, and food for one person alone. Thankfully, Aaron's contribution usually covered his own expenses, but Amber was nowhere near old enough to support herself. And then their mother…when she was lucid, she was capable of bringing in a proportionate share. But when her mind went elsewhere, when she had a schizophrenic episode, she was like a black hole, continually draining their resources with expensive doctor's visits and prescription medication. Alex had to make up the difference in cost somehow and his dead end job at Joe's Diner just wasn't going to make ends meet in the long run. Amber was growing; she needed clothes, shoes, school supplies. As a surgeon, he would have more than enough to support her. He could give her more than what she needed, he could give her some of the things that she wanted too; she could be a normal child._

"_So can I trust that you won't do this again?" He continued, nodding his head in the direction of the war zone that was now his room. "Or am I going to have to get unpleasant?" _

"_I won't."Amber mumbled, crossing her small arms in an attempt to show that she was not content with the current situation. She wanted to argue with him more, but she didn't really feel like getting in trouble right before he left either. _

_Alex continued to look down at his baby sister with a hard stare. Her delivery was less than convincing. "Amber…did you really think this would keep me from leaving?" He asked, softening slightly._

"_I thought you couldn't leave if you weren't packed…" _

_A small smile emerged at that comment. "I have to go kiddo, but it's not going to be forever, alright?" _

_She glanced up at him, her green eyes melting him. Those damn eyes were the source of so many of his lost battles over the years. And as much as he yearned to throw her another victory…he just couldn't, not this time. _

"_We're going to talk on the phone, you're going to visit me, and I'm going to come see you. This isn't goodbye. It's just something I have to do to make sure you get everything you need." _

_Amber just shook her head. Everything that he said was going in one ear and out the other. "Don't you love me anymore?"_

_Alex swallowed, her words tearing through him like a bullet through tissue paper. "More than anything." He choked out. _

_She blinked at him emotionlessly before hopping off the dresser, allowing her hands to stop her from falling as she made contact with the floor. "Just not enough…" She spoke quietly before rushing out of the room. _

_Alex waited until he heard the sound of her bedroom door slamming before kicking a stray box across the room and falling down onto his bed. Was he making the right choice? _

The elevator doors opened and Mark pulled Alex over his shoulder to the best of his ability. Not only was Alex a full grown man, but Mark had to be careful not to cause him any more pain than necessary.

Lexie pushed open the door to an empty surgical preparation room, directly across from O.R. three.

"Clear the table." Mark nodded towards the center of the room his legs beginning to buckle under Alex's dead weight. Lexie obediently swept the excess supplies off of the surface, not caring as they crashed to the floor. "God damnit, Lexie. Keep it down." Mark hissed.

Lexie remained unperturbed by his comment, her eyes never leaving her boyfriend's chest. She kept herself calm by monitoring the labored rise and fall that signaled he was still breathing. All she could think about was getting him out of this hospital…to some place safe.

Mark set Alex down as gently as possible, although he still knew it had to have hurt like hell.

Alex snapped back to consciousness, the events that led him to this table returning to his mind in one quick rush. He tried to move, but Mark restrained him with the palm of his hand. Alex was too weak to fight back. "I…am so…incredibly pissed off right now." He spat out in between breaths. That ass hole had shot him, he had literally _shot _him. "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to find him and kill him."

"Alex." Mark tried to get him to stop moving. "You've been shot. I need you to stop moving, alright?"

"He could come back Mark! He could come back. We have to get him out of here." Lexie continually urged him from behind, causing Mark's thoughts to become a jigsaw of confusion.

"No exit wound." He observed with a gulp, knowing that this likely meant trouble. "We're going to have to flip him. Lexie, grab him under the shoulders."

"We have to get him out of here." She repeated, shaking her head, still unable to fully believe the events that were unfolding before her very eyes.

"Lexie, he's losing blood. We can't move him, now shut up and help me!" He commanded, desperately attempting to reason with her above Alex's various groans and shouts of pain.

The two worked diligently together to flip Alex over. Lexie silently prayed that they would find the exit wound on his back. He needed to be alright. They had wasted so much time, so many precious moments that they could have had together, fighting. The majority of it had been her fault, she was well aware of that. Now that things were finally good, she couldn't stand the thought of losing him.

She cringed at his pained cries. Alex was an incredibly tough man. He never complained about his own affairs, he never lamented about personal pain. The only time she had ever seen him cry was when he thought his little sister might be dying, and who could blame him for that one. Now, however, lying helplessly on a cold table with a bullet lodged inside of his body, his vulnerability was overwhelmingly apparent. It was difficult for her to handle, and she could imagine, even harder for him to cope with.

"Nothing…damn it." Mark cursed, coming across somewhat defeated. "The bullet is still in there somewhere. We're just going to have to wing it. Start an I.V. and I'll set up a chest tube."

"You're going to be okay Alex, alright?" Lexie spoke to him, not knowing who she was trying to convince more.

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><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Okay, he doesn't know who he loves. And if it's not me…I just…I don't want to talk about it." Christina spoke softly to Meredith, eventually turning her body away from her to signal that she was finished with the topic.

Amber rolled her eyes behind Christina's back as they started up the staircase on the main floor. Yang hadn't shut up for the last twenty minutes about her break up with Owen. Amber understood that it was a difficult time for her, she really did, but she was also getting fed up with the constant whining. Glancing around, she noticed how shockingly empty the main floor looked. She could hardly ever make it up these stairs without being repeatedly shoved into the banister by doctors, nurses, and distracted patients and visitors. It was creepy seeing the place so empty.

"Guys, I really don't think we should be out here. This is weird."

"Oh my god, Sour Sally, give it a rest would you?" Christina bantered. "We're the surgeons here, I think we can walk around our own hospital, lock down or no lock down."

"My god." Meredith interjected herself, sounding exasperated. "You two are like Tom and Jerry."

"I'm Jerry, right?" Amber piped up. "Jerry _always _outsmarts Tom."

"Oh very funny." Christina smirked, actually feeling somewhat proud of the kid's comeback. Glancing down at her, she could see so many obvious traces of Alex. It was almost startling. Everything about the girl was so…Karev. Her dry sense of humor, her infectious grin, the shape of her face, her closed off attitude. Alex could easily get away with passing her off as his daughter.

"Changing subjects. You do realize you're about to be a godmother, right?" Meredith nudged Christina playfully.

"You're kidding, I'm godmother?"

"Yes."

"So if you and Derek are in a plane crash and die, the kid is mine?" Christina snowballed, clearly enjoying herself.

"Yes…" Meredith replied with a nervous laugh.

"I kind of hope that you and Derek die…just a little bit. That way I can raise the kid with decent priorities."

"Well that's where this one comes in." Meredith added, squeezing Amber's shoulder. She leaned in close to speak quietly with the teenager. "If I die, you do not let that woman corrupt my child."

Amber laughed and Christina made a face. Meredith had purposefully spoken loud enough for her to hear the comment.

As they walked through the deserted hallway, a side door flew open and Derek crept into view, somewhere in the middle of a walk and a sprint.

"Hey." Derek called to them, seeming somewhat winded as he came to a stop. "What are you doing here?"

"Uhh…walking?" Christina shot back sarcastically.

"We're on lockdown." Derek retorted, an appearance of shock and fear dancing across his face.

"We're not walking outside."

"That's not what lockdown means. It means stay where you are." He argued, annunciating the last four words carefully in an expression of his seriousness.

Christina turned towards Meredith and scrunched her face in confusion. "Did you know that's what it…"

"No I thought it meant-"

For a brief moment, Derek looked somewhat pissed. However, the flicker of anger washed away and he grabbed Christina's arm, beckoning the three of them closer to him. "Okay, come here." He commanded, leading them into the medical supply closet a few feet away. They tried to argue but he talked over them. "There's a shooter in the hospital."

"What?" Amber spoke up, trying her best to remain on her feet. She could feel her legs transforming into gelatin and she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to keep calm.

"Stay here. Don't move. I'll come back to get you when it's clear."

Amber took a step forward and Derek spoke more forcefully. "Just stay here! Don't move."

"I'm coming with you." Amber took another a step towards him. "I need to find my brother."

Derek couldn't help the condescending scoff that escaped his mouth at the young girl's remark. "Like hell you are. Stay with Meredith." He looked up and met his wife's eyes. She gave him a nod in return, a silent agreement that she would keep Amber safe.

"If there's a shooter in the hospital I need to find Alex! He's not answering his phone, he could be hurt!"

"Amber, if you haven't noticed, we have a bit of a crisis on our hands here and I _really_ do not have time to argue with you." Derek hissed, lowering his voice. Amber immediately noticed that it was much more intimidating that way. "I know that you're scared, but you aren't being logical right now. You need to stay here, do you understand me?"

Amber nodded her head, and sunk down to a sitting position as Derek closed the door. If her brother died today, she would never forgive herself.

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><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"You're doing great Alex, really great." Mark spoke to him encouragingly. "Now I need to put in a chest tube, okay? Are you with me?"

Alex's body convulsed from pain and blood loss. Although his eyes were open, he rapidly shifted in and out of consciousness. His mind bounced aimlessly between the walls of the preparation room they were in, and images of his siblings. They weren't necessarily important moments, just small pieces of his life before he came here. He could see himself teaching Aaron how to throw a punch or sitting on Amber's bed reading to her. They came in fleeting glimpses before banishing him back into the cruel reality he was trapped in.

"No…no chest tube." He forced the words out of his mouth, fear slowly closing in around him as he realized that he most likely wouldn't survive this. Had he even filled out his will yet? Where would Amber go? Would Meredith and Derek take her? Would Jackson? Would she be shoved into a group home…._or worse_…sent back to their mother? "I'm okay." He spoke in between labored breaths. "Don't cut me."

Mark wished that he didn't have to, but there wasn't another option if Alex planned on living to see tomorrow. Lexie sterilized the incision site and Mark sliced the knife through his skin without alerting Alex first. _Like a band-aid._ He thought.

Despite the injuries, Alex knew that he needed to be quiet. He was aware enough to comprehend that much, but physically, he couldn't refrain from the screams and moans that flew out of his mouth. His vision was blurred by what appeared to be a blinding red light as the pain overtook him. Spots of color appeared and disappeared in dark patches, but he tried to focus only on Lexie. He had to stay awake.

"Shut him up." Mark said frantically. "Shut him up!"

Lexie's eyes shifted around wildly. How was she supposed to do that? She couldn't think straight through Alex's screams. Seeing him in pain was unbearable. She almost gasped out loud at the realization that she would rather it be her on the table than her boyfriend. What did that mean? Was she honestly that bad at seeing others in agony….or did she actually love this man?

"Oh god…" She stuttered, waving a hand gently in front of his face. "Shhh shhh." Her efforts were ultimately useless. Alex wanted to stop screaming for her, but he couldn't. The pain was worse than the bullet itself. It was as if he wasn't controlling his own thoughts anymore, all he could focus on was the fire igniting deep within him, through his skin, through his bones, to his very core. The screams grew louder.

"Shut him up Lexie." Mark dictated again. "If the guy with the gun hears the screaming, he's going to head this way. Now do something to shut him up!"

"Okay. Shhh, Alex. I know that it hurts but you have to be quiet, okay?" She placed her palm on the side of his face, hoping that the touch of her skin might be comforting, even through the pain. He quieted for a moment until Mark began to insert the tube. After that, another round of screams, even louder than before, broke the sound barrier throughout the room.

"Lexie!" Mark yelled.

Lexie swiped a tear from her eye before resorting to desperate measures. She fumbled behind her for a chunk of gauze and shoved it into Alex's mouth. The last thing she wanted to do was gag him, but she had run out of options. She needed him to live. Amber needed him to live.

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><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

_Amber sat quietly, cuddled up in bed with a coloring book on her lap. It was a Friday night and Alex had gone out with friends, something he rarely ever did anymore. Aaron was babysitting because their mother had been locked in her room for three days now with the curtains drawn. Once or twice Amber had crawled into bed with her, trying to get her to speak, but her mom just stared blankly at the wall or sometimes the door. Amber often wondered what she was looking at, but Aaron told her that it was something only their mom could see because she was sick. Amber didn't like that. It scared her. _

_It was almost 9:00, and if Alex were home, she would have to go to bed in a few minutes. Aaron didn't particularly care if she went to sleep or not, as long as she was in bed and could keep herself occupied. Alex had said that he probably wouldn't be back until well after midnight and Aaron always took this opportunity to let Amber get away with a little more than she usually could. She liked this because it meant she got to color for as long as she wanted. Unfortunately, she couldn't focus on her picture of Cinderella at the moment; all she could think about was that dumb Clayton Jones. Second graders could be mean, and it seemed like lately nobody wanted to be her friend. It had been bothering her all day._

"_Knock knock." A familiar voice sounded from her doorway. _

"_Alex!" She called out happily, jumping out of bed and running over to him. He smiled warmly and lifted her up into his arms, enjoying her affection while she was still this young. One of these days, it wouldn't be cool to hug her older brother anymore. "You're home early!" _

"_Yes I am. And you should be sleeping." He teased, tickling her side. She squirmed and laughed, wiggling around until she managed to evade his hand. _

"_You know that Aaron doesn't actually make me go to sleep, right?" _

_Alex chuckled. "Of course I do, I know everything." He joked, carrying her back towards her bed. He peeled back the covers and gently placed her underneath them. He grabbed her coloring book to get it out of the way and noticed the violent, blue scribbles all over the page. "Taking out our anger on Cinderella, are we?" _

"_No…I wanted it to look like that." Amber stated plainly. She sunk back into her pillows and snuggled up against her prized possession, 'Pingy,' a stuffed penguin Alex had won her at the fair two years earlier._

_Alex sat down on the edge of her bed and observed the troubled expression on her face. He had thought something might be wrong, and now he was certain of it. "What's going on, sunshine? Tell me what's bothering you."_

_Amber sighed, as if she had one of the great troubles of the world weighing on her head. At the time, it probably seemed like she did. "It's Clayton Jones." She answered, scrunching up her nose in disgust at the name._

"_Ah, your boyfriend?" He asked._

"_Not anymore." _

"_You're seven years old, kiddo. That's too young for a boyfriend anyways." He replied, although he knew it wouldn't alter her feelings in the slightest._

"_But Alex…" She drawled. "He left me on the jungle gym all by myself today and said he would rather be Jodi Walker's boyfriend."_

"_Jodi, your best friend, Jodi?"_

"_Ex-best friend, Jodi."_

_Alex put his fingers to his chin in mock contemplation. He wanted Amber to know that he would take her life issues seriously, no matter how trivial he truly felt they were. "I see…that is a problem."_

"_He said his mommy told him I come from a messed up family…."_

_That last part caught Alex's attention. Who did that no good, nosy bitch think she was, talking about their family? Their life was none of her damn business and his little sister was way too young to be dealing with this form of ridicule already._

"_Hey." He slid next to her and draped an arm around her shoulders. She instantly felt safe and leaned her head against his arm, waiting for his words of encouragement. "We are not messed up. We're different, but we are not messed up. You are loved…and that's what a family really is."_

"_He said I was a bastard too."_

"_Oh god…" Alex groaned, sliding a hand down his face. He had the same talk with Aaron several years earlier when their dad first left. He supposed kids at Amber's school had older siblings who used such terms. Their family was generally the talk of the town, but he had hoped his baby sister would be shielded from it for a while longer. "I don't want you saying that word, okay? Just ignore them; they shouldn't be saying it either." _

"_What does it mean?"_

_He sighed. How did this become his job? "It means you don't have a father…but it's a really rude way of putting it."_

"_So it's true." She spoke softly, her voice dripping with defeat. It nearly split Alex's heart in half. "I'm a bastard and we have a messed up family." _

"_Shhhh." He squeezed her shoulder, not wanting her to continue for another second. He couldn't believe that children could be so cruel to put such thoughts in her head. She was seven for crying out loud. "You may not have a dad, Amber. I wish that wasn't the case, but it is. He wasn't a good man, and no amount of wishing on my part is going to change that. But you have something else. You have an Alex…and you will always have me."_

_A smile spread across Amber's face. "Clayton and Jodi don't have an Alex." _

"_That's right." He concurred, pulling her in closer. "But you do, and I love you more than that dumb Clayton Jone's mom could ever love her jerk of a son." _

_Amber giggled and glanced up at her older brother. It was true…she knew her dad was never coming home. Even at seven years old, given the way her brothers spoke about it, it was obvious that he was never coming back to them. Now, sitting in bed feeling more loved than ever, that was just fine with her. _

"_How come you came home so early, Alex?" She finally asked._

_He thought about making up a story for a moment, but ultimately decided to go with the truth. "I thought something might have been bothering you…and I wanted to make sure you were okay. That's my job."_

"_How do you always know when something's wrong?"_

_He shrugged and kissed the top of her head. "It's a brother thing." _

Amber stared vacantly at the door, hoping that Derek would return at any moment to let them know that this was some horrible misunderstanding. It was fools hope, but it was hope nonetheless. She needed to get out of this closet, and soon. Her brother was hurt, and as much as she tried to convince herself that it was all in her head….she could feel it.

A sibling is the closest biological match possible in this world, even more so than parents. She could recall reading in several of her science classes that brothers or sisters are about as tight as two people come, genetically speaking. Amber was one of logical mind, she didn't really believe in the supernatural or any type of magic. What she did believe in was science. And in her opinion, being this closely tied to a person, to be the closest to someone out of anybody else in the world, it had to be possible to sense when something was wrong with them. Her brother was hurt. She could feel it.

"I'm sure he's safe." Meredith whispered, as if reading her mind. "He's your brother after all. That means he's smart."

"He's not okay. I just know it." Amber sniffed, dangerously close to tears. "If something happened to him…"

"It's all going to be okay." Meredith cut her off.

"You don't get it, Meredith." Amber blurted out, louder than intentioned. "He's the only family I have left. He's more than just my brother…he's the closest thing to a father that I'll ever have. If I lose him…"

Christina, not usually one to offer comfort, couldn't stand looking at the distraught teenager before her. Normally the full spectrum of human emotion didn't have such a vast effect on her, but this girl's charming innocence made it difficult not have one's heart-strings pulled.

"There's no point in getting worked up until we actually know that something is wrong." Christina spoke with such a level of comfort that Meredith didn't recognize her friend for a moment.

Amber sighed and pulled out her phone. She dialed Alex's number and allowed a tear to escape her eye as it went straight to voicemail yet again. "Meredith, do you think Lexie's okay?" She asked, taking a different approach.

"Yes. Don't worry. I'm sure she's fine."

"How can you be sure?"

"I just know." Meredith answered her definitively.

"Exactly." Amber whispered in return. "Alex isn't okay….I just know."

Meredith opened her mouth to attempt to comfort Amber again, but was silenced as a wave of nausea overtook her entire body. "Oh god."

"What's wrong?" Amber inquired.

"Morning sickness…right on schedule."

"Alright we have to get out of here." Christina stated adamantly. "Because I'm not staying in here after you stink up the place." She walked towards the door and glanced out the small glass window in the upper center. Instantly, she caught sight of a familiar face making his way into the hallway that would inevitably lead right to them; the man with the permanent scowl."That's the guy from the elevator." She divulged, speaking so low that it was barely audible.

"What?" Meredith asked, glancing down at Amber, who still sat on the floor, nervously.

"That guy…he asked for directions to the Chief's office." Christina responded, everything slowly coming together in a clear, painful image.

"I don't understand…"

"Meredith, Meredith." Christina cut her off anxiously. "The guy with the gun is looking for Derek."

And with that, Meredith threw up.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Alex's eyes never left her face. Lexie attempted to offer comforting smiles. She didn't want him to be afraid…she was terrified enough for the both of them.

"He's losing a lot of blood….he needs a transfusion." Mark alerted Lexie solemnly. He knew that this was next to impossible. How on earth was he supposed to pull off a transfusion in the middle of a lock down with an armed man on the loose? "I don't know what we're going to do."

Alex's body wracked with shivers. He felt the incessant need to close his eyes and go to sleep, but he knew better than that. _Stay awake, Alex. _He urged himself silently. _Do it for Lexie…do it for Amber. _

Lexie swallowed nervously as she watched her boyfriend shake uncontrollably. "I'll go." She volunteered without a second thought. "I'll go get it."

"That's insane." Mark said incredulously. "I'll go."

"No…I don't know what to do. You know what to do…I don't. I can't sit here and do nothing." She paused for a moment, glancing down at the wounded man in front of her. "Alex please don't die. Okay? It's me…it's Lexie. I will be right back." Her voice broke as she placed a hand along his jaw line. "Okay? I will be right back."

Mark watched with a heavy heart as the girl he loved stood up and walked out the door. Who knew if that man was still out there? He could be waiting, ready to open fire on the first unsuspecting victim unfortunate enough to walk his way. He was jarred out of his thoughts as Alex began to mumble. He couldn't quite make it out at first.

"Hey Sloan." Alex uttered slightly louder, rounding back into consciousness. "Try not to kill me… I have a kid at home."

Mark's lip quivered momentarily as he worked to form a smile. "I'm doing my best."

"Sloan…if I die…"

"Nope, I don't want to hear that." Mark cut him off. He wasn't the guy's biggest fan, but the thought of this hospital without Alex just didn't seem right.

"I need to say this." He practically choked. It was agonizing to speak. The extra breath required to talk caused pressure in his side, continually stressing the entry site of the bullet. It was excruciating, but if he was going to die, he needed his mind to be at ease.

"Alright, but keep it short…you need to hold still."

"Don't let her go back to her mother, ok? No matter what. If I die…someone I trust needs to take her."

"Hey." Mark spoke somewhat sternly. "You aren't dying today. So unless you get hit by a bus tomorrow, this isn't a concern."

"Just tell me you'll make sure someone takes care of her."

Mark didn't want to be having this conversation. After working in a hospital for so many years, death was an undeniable part of life. However, when it was someone you knew, someone you worked with everyday, it was an incredibly bitter reality. Nevertheless, he could see in Alex's eyes how much this meant to him. "I swear to you, Karev, none of us will let anything happen to that girl of yours."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Stay close to me." Meredith demanded, tugging on Amber's arm until the young girl was practically plastered to her side. The three of them ran through the main floor, heading in the direction of Derek's office. This rescue mission was, indubitably, the stupidest thing Meredith had ever initiated. As they came to the upper floor opening, the one that looked down on the entrance floor, Christina grabbed the back of Meredith's scrubs and brought them all to a screeching halt.

What they saw was Derek…held at gunpoint.

Meredith kept low, nearly folding her body in half as she tiptoed her way around the railing, attempting to get closer. Amber followed, sandwiched in a protective position between Meredith and Christina. Voices were becoming more distinct. Derek and the man with the gun were speaking.

"Mr. Carke…" Derek attempted to reason. Amber sucked in a deep breath. How he could be so brave was beyond her.

"No talking!" The man silenced him, the gun trembling in his hand as it remained fixed on its target.

Mr. Clarke continued to spout off about Derek allowing his wife to be taking off life support. In his mind, the hospital was unsafe. Derek was killing patients and other people shouldn't be forced to suffer a loss the way he did. Other people shouldn't lose their lives the way his wife had.

For an infinitesimal moment, Amber almost felt a tinge of sympathy for the man; he was clearly hurting. However, she loved Derek. He was such an amazing man. No amount of loss on this man's part made it justifiable to think Derek allowed his wife to die with malice in his heart.

They continued to edge closer. Amber could hear Meredith's hitched breathing and knew that she was crying. She kept her ears trained on Derek, wondering why he was bothering to talk again. This man was going to shoot him…he needed to be quiet.

"You don't get to be god!" Mr. Clarke shouted, shaking the gun wildly. "You don't get to decide who lives and who dies!"

"Mr. Clarke, listen to me…I know your loss. I lost my father when I was a kid. Two guys killed my father for his watch right in front of me. _Right in front of me._" Derek disclosed, his voice trembling with each syllable. "I didn't become a doctor because I wanted to be god. I became a doctor because I wanted to save lives."

The man didn't speak, he only kept the gun fixed on Derek.

"Look at me." Derek started back up. "Please look at me in the eye. I'm a human being. I make mistakes, I'm flawed; we all are. Today, I think for you, is just a mistake. You want justice, you want somebody to pay. You're a good man…I can see that in your eyes. Can you see it in mine?" He gulped and allowed a long pause. "Can you?"

Mr. Clarke began to lower the gun, slowly at first, but eventually he allowed it to fully drop to his side. Meredith began creeping towards them again and although Christina pointed to a spot against the wall, suggesting that Amber stay behind, she continued to follow. This was her hospital too.

They had almost reached a point where Meredith could get her husband's attention when April Kepner burst through the double doors that led towards Derek's office. "Oh, Dr. Sheppard." She called out quietly, still clearly in a state of shock. "Thank god you're back."

Amber knew what was going to happen the second Derek turned his back to look at April, but it didn't matter. She couldn't warn him in time. As he pivoted his body to face her, the man raised his gun once more with determination. He realized his mistake and quickly turned back around, but by then…it was already happening.

The sound was nothing like the movies. On television, it always comes across as a single, vicious popping noise. This sound penetrated deep into her ears, vibrating her whole body. The sound seemed to take over the entire room as Derek's body jolted backwards and he fell onto the ground in a heap.

Derek had been shot.

_To be Continued..._

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading! I hope it was satisfactory. Pretty please with sugar on top review and let me know what you thought, especially about the flashbacks. I was kind of nervous about those, but I felt like they really added something to the story line!<strong>

**I got so many amazing reviews last chapter and I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart! ****I also want to respond to a few of you:**** First – Yes, I will definitely be focusing a great deal on the Alex/Jackson friendship in the aftermath of the shooting. I think that it could become the bromance of all bromances. Second – I got a few comments about a scene I should include with Amber concerning her time of the month. Good lord, thank you for the idea. You know me and my love for awkward moments…the things I could do with that. It shall be fun!**


	20. Death And All Of His Friends Part 1

A/N and review responses:

A QUICK NOTE: So I had originally planned on Amber coming across Alex at some point while she was in the surgical wing, but I might just end up having her find him at the end when they're all outside. I'm not sure yet, but I'll figure it out as I go along. I just wanted to warn people that I may have changed his location for no reason, but oh well. It didn't affect the story in the slightest, so it's not like it really matters. Just wanted to let you know!

**ANSWERING REVIEWS:**

**TO EVERYONE WHO SUGGESTED IT - ****I absolutely plan on having Jackson take over in the wake of Alex's injuries. In fact, I had so many ideas buzzing in my head that I've already written a few Amber/Jackson scenes. Haha! So yes my dears, there will be plenty of arguing, fluff, tears, and everything in between. **

**TEGAN - ****To answer your question, I spent so much time building the relationships of those in the house that I didn't really think about her all that much. But I will gladly work on putting Christina in more chapters. I was kind of using the shooting as a way to introduce her. It's slightly difficult to focus on such a large variety of characters in a single chapter, so usually I center things around the people who live in the house. But if people want to see more of her, I will happily oblige. **

**BECCACCEBECCA****– First of all thank you! To answer your question, I know that he didn't move in until after the shooting, but I changed it for my story because I love his character and I enjoy writing him in as a secondary brother to Amber. Although I'm pretty true to the storyline, I do change things every now and then just to fit my writing style. Because I tend to focus on affairs inside the house, I just decided to have him in the house earlier. However, when I go back to edit my previous chapters, I will make a note in chapter 1 so other people are not confused by the same thing. Thank you for pointing it out. **

* * *

><p><em>Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. Live or die. Hero or coward. Fight or give in. I'll say it again to make sure you hear me. The human life is made up of choices. Live or die. That's the important choice. And it's not always in our hands.<em>

**- Derek Sheppard: Season 6, Episode 24**

**XXXXXXX**

A second, generally speaking, often seems like an unnecessary measurement of time. After all, what can be accomplished in the span of a few seconds, right?

We live in a world that operates on time. Time is money, time is love, time is everything. It is precious. It is a limited resource that mankind strives to make sustainable. All good things come to those who wait, or so they say. It's about patience, pragmatics, making good use. It's the large chunks that matter, the long spans that allow us to do something meaningful.

But when dealing with life or death, those few seconds, that microscopic measure of time that once seemed like nothing, becomes everything. It took less than a second for a bullet to tear straight through Derek's chest. It took less than five seconds for Meredith to reach her husband's side, screaming and pleading for his life. In the blink of an eye, a world can come crashing down, regardless of the time spent building it up. Man is ruled by time…but time has no loyalties.

"Hold on, okay? Hold on!" Meredith begged, her hands placed on Derek's chest. She held them in place desperately, as if she could act as a deterrent for his wound. "I love you! Please don't die!"

"Meredith, get out of here. Before he shoots you too." Derek coughed, his eyes shifting rapidly as blood pooled around him.

"Do not die! Do you understand?" She shouted." I can't live without you!"

Amber stood, frozen in her spot. All she could do was watch; look on as a hopeless bystander as Meredith clutched onto Derek's weakening body. There was so much blood, Amber felt dizzy. She had never been squeamish, she was different from other teenage girls in that way. But this was Derek…she knew him. There was too much blood. Where was Christina?

"I chose you! You don't get to die!" Meredith continued to scream, growing increasingly hysterical with each passing moment.

Christina ran back through the double doors, her face pale and eyes wide. "I called the police." She stated weakly, speaking above Meredith's rambling. "Meredith…they aren't going to get here in time. He needs surgery..."

Amber turned her head back and forth between the two of them, like someone watching a match of table tennis. She couldn't seem to keep up with Meredith's incessant shouting and Christina's urgent pleas.

"He needs surgery." Christina stuttered again. "What do we do?"

"Stay with me!" Meredith continued to ignore her.

Without another word, Christina took off running down the hallway, a clear purpose guiding her course. Amber glanced warily in Meredith's direction. There was no amount of comfort that would alter the reality of this moment. Knowing that there was nothing she could say or do, she collected herself and ran after Christina.

It didn't take long for Amber to find her. She had only gone as far as the next set of double doors. By the time Amber caught up, Christina was pulling a distraught April to her feet.

"We're taking Derek to the O.R." Christina informed them authoritatively as she grabbed a nearby wheelchair. "Teddy's down there, she'll be able to help."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"I'll tell you…" Alex's tired voice echoed through the steel room.

Mark spun around instantly, leaning in closer in the hopes of deciphering the young man's ramblings. He tried to speak whenever he was awake, which unfortunately, wasn't often.

"You stop yourself from doing a lot of things that you want to do…" Alex forced out philosophically. "But I'm dying…and I'll tell you…you need to have more sex…eat more bacon."

"Alright, I'll eat more bacon." Mark avowed with a sad chuckle. "But you need to keep fighting for me, okay?"

"Tell her I'm sorry." Alex mumbled, his breathing raspy. It took every ounce of strength left in him to force out another sentence.

"Hang in there Karev, alright?" Mark coaxed. "She'll be back any minute. She just had to go to the blood bank."

"Tell her." He repeated, turning his head from side to side as his vision blurred. "I'm dying. I know…you can quit with the pep talks."

"She's coming back Karev, stay with me." He repeated.

"Tell Amber…" He started to speak, but was forced to stop incrementally for his labored breathing. It seemed to be getting harder and harder to bring air to his lungs. "Tell Amber that I've never been more proud of anyone or anything."

"Alex, don't talk. You need to save your strength. She's on her way back." Mark interrupted. Alex couldn't die, he just couldn't. Mark wasn't big on fate or God, but he did believe that things happened for a reason. He found Alex. He was meant to save him…he _had_ to save him.

"Tell her that she grew up to be so smart and beautiful. I was an idiot to miss out on so much of her life…but she did an amazing job without me. Tell her I love her." Having said all he cared to at that particular moment, Alex slipped back into unconsciousness. A small portion of him was still holding on, but at the same time, he was ready.

"Karev!" Mark yelled desperately. "Come on Karev, stay awake!"

On cue, Lexie emerged through the door, breathless with a look of sheer terror clear in her eyes. Thankfully, she held several bags of blood in her arms.

"Is he alive?" She inquired immediately upon entering the room.

"He's unconscious…" Mark replied as he took a bag out of her arm. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"It was Clarke…" She stuttered out. "I w-was the one who took his wife off life support. Derek made the call…but I-I pulled the plug. He saw me…he tried to shoot me. He said he came here to kill me too. S.W.A.T. shot him in the shoulder…I got away."

She didn't give Mark a chance to say anything, she turned to Alex immediately after finishing her last sentence. "Don't die…Alex please don't die. This was my fault. I unplugged his wife. I'm so sorry, this was my fault."

Her voice broke as she continued to speak to her unconscious boyfriend, praying for his life. Staring at his seemingly broken body, she could no longer deny it. Whatever it was she had been afraid of for the past several months, she let go of at that moment. "I love you." She whispered, stroking the side of his head affectionately. "Do you hear me? I love you."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Hey, watch it." Callie snapped as Arizona tried to maneuver a wheelchair through the narrow hallways of the pediatrics' wing. The child to adult ratio was so outrageously uneven that they had resorted to placing all of the sick children in the play room in order to monitor them more efficiently.

"I thought we were going to try to be friends…" Arizona whined, growing sick of Callie's ever-present attitude.

"You want to talk about this now? We're on lock down moving kids, god knows what's happening, and you want to talk about this?"

"Well we're stuck here and we have to be together…" She countered. "So yeah, I want to talk about this."

"Okay fine…I tired being friends, rising above. I tried that and now I'm over it." Callie informed her ex plainly. "I'm going to go the more traditional route of totally hating your guts."

Arizona opened her mouth to protest, to claim this was stupid, but she knew that her efforts would be futile. Callie was by far the most stubborn person she had ever encountered. Her opinions were fixed and unmovable, completely impervious to all forms of logic and reasoning. She followed after her into the play room, wondering what she could say that might get her somewhere.

"Dr. Robbins!" A nurse called from behind her, pulling her from her thoughts. "It's Nora."

Arizona took off running back down the hallway, causing nurses and children to part like the Red Sea to make way for her. She had requested that Nora remain in a room by herself instead of moving into the play room. Too much excitement and noise could prolong her recovery, not to mention the germs she would be exposed to. It was simply too risky. She reached the toddler's room and felt her heart break as she watched the tiny blonde squirm from side to side, sweat lining her face as she cried.

"Someone tell me what the hell's happening in here!" She shouted over her shoulder. Callie emerged in the doorway a few moments later, willing to put their differences aside for a possible medical emergency. They were the only two attending on the entire floor, this was the job.

"Her fever spiked and she's in a lot of pain." Arizona told Callie, not bothering to look up at her. She watched as Nora's eyes dashed around the room, attempting to make sense of the various noises coming from the hallway.

"It might be adrenaline." Callie suggested from the doorway.

"Adrenaline?" Arizona scoffed rudely. She took a seat on the side of Nora's cot and attempted to comfort her.

Callie moved to the other side of the bed. Arizona continued to refuse to make eye contact. "She's recovering from ASD surgery, right?"

"Yeah."

"All the noise and excitement from the movement may have triggered her body's natural adrenaline response. Her heart is already working twice as hard from the ASD….add in the fight or flight response and it's probably causing blood to cycle through way too fast for someone her size."

Arizona considered this for a moment…it made complete sense. She hated that Callie was likely correct, but couldn't reject the overwhelming feeling of relief upon realizing that it might be something that easy to handle. "We just have to calm her down." She breathed.

Callie grinned in accomplishment and glanced up timidly, trying to stare at anything other than Arizona. She couldn't make sense of it, how the same woman who refused to have a family with her could care for this child so much. It wasn't a normal level of patient care…that much was obvious. Arizona's compassion for Nora far surpassed that of any other case she had ever worked on. Slowly, she lifted her eyes to meet her ex-girlfriend's. She loved this woman…she just wasn't willing to give up her dream of being a mother for her.

Without warning, a man came into view, a gun hanging carelessly by his side. Callie gasped, causing Arizona to turn around. Her face paled in an instant upon realizing the reason for the lockdown.

"There are only children here!" Arizona exclaimed.

"They shot me…" Mr. Clarke gasped, his eyes a daze of confusion.

Arizona pulled Nora against her body, attempting to shield the whimpering child. Nora began to kick, frightened by the stranger, her heart rate rising again. Arizona needed to calm her down. Too much of an increase in her blood pressure could literally kill her at this point. Her heart wasn't strong enough.

Callie's whole body shook uncontrollably. This was the kind of thing that happened in movies, not in real life. She had thought the lockdown was a drill, or at least something minor. Never in her craziest dreams would she have envisioned something so sinister. Slowly, she stood to her feet. Despite the paralyzing fear that seemed to encase every limb of her body in ice, she knew she had to get him out of here. "Mr…um…?"

"Clarke." He replied softly. "Gary Clarke."

"Mr. Clarke…" She took a few steps, walking carefully lest she alarm him. She tentatively reached her hand to Nora's bedside tray and grabbed a handful of gauze pads. "Here are some bandages. Press them to the wound and it should stop the bleeding."

Mr. Clarke stared at her, seeming lost in his own mind. His eyes were glazed over in an other-worldly fashion. It was the look of a mad man.

"Okay? Just take them." Callie held out her trembling hand, silently wondering how she was still managing to command her body to do anything. "Take them and go."

Mr. Clarke hesitated for close to ten seconds before he held out his palm, his gun still resting in it.

Callie placed the gauze pads on top of the menacing, black gun and withdrew her hand, her fingers twitching wildly.

"Thank you." Mr. Clarke spoke with so much sincerity that it nearly made her ill. Without another word, he retreated backwards into the hall, leaving the way he came.

Callie slammed the door shut and ran back to Nora's bedside, who was full-on sobbing at this point, coughing uncontrollably as she panicked.

Arizona stroked her hair as tears slid down her face like rain on a windshield. "It's okay…" She chanted over and over, so quiet that one would have to read her lips to make out what was being said.

Callie crouched down to get on eye level with Nora as she continued to wail, her back facing Arizona. "I know…I know it's scary." Callie cooed as she slid her hand up and down Nora's arm. "But it's going to be okay, because you have the best doctor in the world with you right now."

Although she did not stop crying, her sobs quieted down noticeably at the sound of Callie's voice. "Yeah!" She continued enthusiastically. "Dr. Robbins is the best doctor in this entire hospital. I-I think in the whole world…"

Arizona continued to hold Nora tightly, rocking gently, crying alongside her.

"People feel so much better after she helps them." Callie's tone was soft and maternal. It was a voice that any child would feel comforted by immediately. Even Arizona couldn't help but be affected by it. "Sometimes people feel better just after she walks in the room….because she has got this super magic smile."

Nora's sobs had settled into dull cries, sounding almost like a puppy. Her blue eyes refused to leave Callie's face as the woman spoke.

"Yeah…and when she smiles at you, everything gets better." Callie looked up and nodded at Arizona. She knew right then that it would be impossible to stop loving her. Her fate had been sealed a long time ago. Maybe Arizona would change her mind about having kids one day, and maybe she wouldn't. No matter what the outcome though, Callie was certain she would love this woman forever. She had tried not to…god had she tried, but it was useless.

"You don't know it because you have your back to her right now, but she is giving you…wow." Callie paused, raising her eyebrows. "She is giving you her best super magic smile. Isn't that right Dr. Robbins?"

"Right….I am, Nora." Arizona forced a smile at Callie. It was absolutely pathetic in comparison to the account that had just been given on her behalf, but it was still a smile. It was a smile for the woman that she loved.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Okay, you and April prep Derek, I'll go find Teddy. She should still be on this floor." Christina dictated. Derek's time was limited. They had successfully made it into an O.R., but if she didn't find an attending soon, she wasn't sure if he would have a chance at all.

"Okay." Meredith replied, stepping towards the table that held her husband.

Amber looked around nervously. This was the first time she had ever been in an O.R. She had watched from the gallery, but never had she set foot in the actual operating space. She had imagined this moment completely different, when she was much older and scrubbing in for her first surgery.

She hated this. Amber didn't like feeling helpless. "Wait, I'm coming with you!" She followed Christina to the door.

"No." Meredith objected. "I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"Please." Amber begged. "I need to do something…Christina shouldn't go alone."

Meredith looked to her best friend, communicating with a simple look. Amber envied their friendship in that moment, marveling at how effortlessly they seemed to convey every emotion without saying a single word. With anyone else, Meredith would have refused to let Amber walk out that door…but this was Christina. She was her person, and Meredith knew that she wouldn't let anything happen to that kid.

"Let's go." Christina nodded, linking arms with the teenager. "Everything's going to be fine, Mer. I promise." She added as a final parting before the two of them ventured out into the eerily silent hallways of the deserted surgical wing.

They walked arm in arm without a word. Amber continually glanced up at Christina, wondering how she could pretend to be so calm.

"What if he's down here?" Amber asked in a hushed tone.

"He's not down here."

"But what if-"

"Shut up." Christina silenced her. "Everything is fine, alright? I'm in charge and I say no one is down here."

Right as she spoke, the door they were passing flew open. Christina instinctively jumped in between Amber and whoever was in front of them without a moment's hesitation. Amber covered her head defensively, although she knew it would offer absolutely no protection against an armed man.

"You are not supposed to be walking around." A stern voice erupted.

Amber looked up, recognizing the smooth tone immediately. "Jackson." She gasped before hurling herself into him, nearly knocking him down in the process.

"Oh my god, Amber." He responded, wrapping his arms tightly around her small frame. "Thank god."

She pulled away and he cupped her face in his hands. "Are you hurt?" He asked, giving her a once over. She shook her head no and he turned his attention to Christina. "Is that blood on your scrubs? Are you alright?"

"No…no I'm fine. I'll go get Altman." Christina said, attempting to push back Jackson.

"Altman's not down here."

Christina froze in her tracks. A sinking feeling engulfed her body as she realized what this likely meant. "Go get Hunt then…"

"He left."

"He left?" Christina asked irritably. "Ok, you know what? Someone just shot Derek. He's got a GSW to the chest and he needs surgery right now. Tell me there's an attending on this floor."

The look on Jackson's face said it all. They were alone. Derek was shot, Teddy and Owen were gone…and they were out of options.

"Amber." Jackson took charge, his voice absent of all fear. He was terrified, but he knew what had to be done. "In the O.R. behind me there are two O.R. nurses and an anesthesiologist. Get them and tell them to set up for a cardiac procedure."

"Jackson…what?" Amber crinkled her brow in confusion. "If we don't have a surgeon…"

"We have a surgeon." He cut her off, his eyes locking on Christina. A loud sigh escaped her lips as she realized that she was Derek's only chance of survival.

"Who's going to operate on Derek…?" Amber questioned, still not understanding what Jackson was insinuating.

"I am." Christina answered.

Jackson shared an intense look with Christina, a look that Amber couldn't interpret. It was a surgeon thing, she supposed. Nevertheless, he did as she was told and began to head towards the room that held the O.R. nurses and anesthesiologist. "Jackson?" She stopped and shifted her body to face him.

"Hm?"

"You haven't seen Alex…have you?"

Jackson swallowed. He had exerted so much of his energy worrying about Amber's whereabouts, that he had nearly forgotten Alex. "He was supposed to help out Teddy and Owen with the gunshot victim….he never showed up."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"_Don't look at me like that, Aaron." Alex groaned, lifting his final suitcase off of his now bare mattress. "You knew this day would come…it's not like I could live here forever." _

"_Yeah, but I was thinking a ten minute move…not two thousand miles." His younger brother mumbled in return. _

_Alex took one last look at his bedroom, feeling increasingly uneasy as he noticed just how baron and empty his surroundings appeared. He had no intentions of ever returning to this place. These four walls had tortured him, trapped him, and driven him crazy as he searched for a way out. The only reason he had remained as long as he had was to minimize costs while working through medical school._

"_Help me load the car?" Alex finally asked, avoiding eye contact with Aaron. He wanted the car packed and ready for takeoff before Amber woke up to get ready for school. At the young age of eight, she hadn't seemed to fully grasp the concept of why he was leaving. _

_Alex walked out the front door side by side with his brother, glancing over his shoulder at the hazardous, run-down shack they called their home. He wouldn't miss this place, he might not even miss his mother all that much…but he would miss them. He would miss Aaron and Amber. He had practically raised them._

"_There are hospitals in Iowa." Aaron attempted one final argument as he tossed Alex's suitcase into the back seat of his car. _

"_This is a really good hospital." Alex countered, although he knew he didn't have many excuses apart from his desire to see this town in his rearview mirror once and for all. "I'll make more money in Seattle. I'll be able to send you enough now. I'll be able to take care of you guys." _

"_You're taking care of us here…you always have." _

_Alex took a deep breath, knowing there was nothing he could say that would convince Aaron that he was doing this for them, not himself. He didn't know if it was even true. He was thankful as rain began to softly pelt the top of his head, knowing that he would need it for cover-up if his emotions got the best of them. _

"_Alex?" A young voice sounded from the front steps. He spun around to find Amber, still clad in her kitten pajamas, staring back at him. She quickly ran down onto the driveway, barefoot, to meet her brothers._

"_Amber, no. Go inside." Alex protested. "It's raining and you don't have shoes on. You're going to get sick." _

"_I don't care!" She shouted back, somewhat spitefully. Normally, she would have never spoken to him like that. Alex wasn't one to tolerate defiance, but today was different. Today he was leaving her._

_Alex sighed and lifted his baby sister off of the ground, knowing the next time he saw her, he likely wouldn't be able to hold her with such ease. He cradled her against his chest, watching as rain droplets darkened her brunette hair._

"_You said you would never leave." She spoke firmly, pulling back to look him in the eyes. "You said that I may not have a daddy…but that I would always have you." _

"_You __**will**__ always have me." Alex forced out over the lump in his throat. He knew that it was hopeless to reason with her. She couldn't understand his explanation for leaving. She just wanted him there. "Just because I won't be here doesn't mean you can't call me anytime you need to talk." _

"_I want to go with you."_

"_I'm sorry, sweetheart. You can't." He answered, his heart shattering in the process._

"_Why not?" She whimpered. Even through the rain, he could see the tears falling down her face. _

"_It's complicated. You need to stay here and look after mom." _

"_I don't want mom. I want you."_

_Alex held her tighter. There was no going back now. He was committed to this move. He needed this job in Seattle. If he didn't leave, he would be stuck in this town forever, just like everybody else. "It's going to be okay." _

_Amber buried her head into his neck. Nothing made sense to her. Had she made him mad? Whenever she and Aaron would argue and upset their mother, sometimes she would get in her car and disappear for days. Had she made Alex want to leave too? "I'm sorry, please don't go." She begged her older brother._

_Alex took her chin between his thumb and index finger and gently guided her to look at him. "You did nothing wrong. Don't you ever think that. You won't understand this now, but I need to go so I can take care of you. And I need you to be a big girl for me, can you do that?" _

_Amber shook her head no._

"_You'll be okay." He reassured her, patting her on the back. "You're one of the strongest people I know." She would never understand how difficult this was for him._

"_Will you call?"_

"_All the time." He replied without hesitation. _

"_I'll miss you." _

_Alex looked up at the sky, doing all he could to prevent the waterworks that were about to commence at full blast. "Come on, give me a kiss. I have to leave." He requested, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek softly. She returned the gesture with a tight hug, throwing her arms around his neck and clinging to him._

_Alex pulled her back and stared into her green eyes, wondering what her face would look like the next time he saw her, what her smile would be like without her two front teeth missing, how beautiful she would become as the years ticked by. He glanced to Aaron, contemplating how tall he would get, whether his allergies would ever clear up, whether he would look more like their father as time went on._

"_I love you." Alex spoke forcefully. He didn't want her to ever question it, even though he assumed a day would come when she might. _

"_I love you too." She mumbled in return before wiping her eyes on the back of her hand._

_Alex passed the small child into the arms of his brother. They both looked like such children to him, and he felt like a monster for leaving them to fend alone in such a cruel world. "You'll take care of her?" Alex asked Aaron, his eyes conveying a sense of desperation. He couldn't count on their mother, and he needed to know that someone would make sure she maximized her potential. She was so much like him, smart and determined. She didn't choose this life, it wasn't her fault she was born into the family she was. She could still make something of herself. _

"_You know I will." Aaron returned his question._

_Alex gave his brother a quick hug. "I love you." He whispered, knowing that Aaron wouldn't want any "girly" displays of affection. He silently retreated into his vehicle and pulled out of the driveway slowly, still unsure with his decision. Watching the two most important people in his life fade into the background as he left Iowa behind him forever, he couldn't help but question. Would it be worth it?_

"It's my fault." Alex muttered as his breathing hitched violently.

"Alex?" Lexie crouched at his side, running her hand through his hair.

"I left her." He spoke louder. "She trusted me."

"Alex, don't talk. You need to save your strength." Mark urged from a few feet away. They had fixed him up to the best of their ability. The blood was helping, but his body was losing it just as quickly as they were pumping it in. If he wasn't transferred to another hospital in the next two hours, he would surely die.

"I didn't call. I didn't write. I didn't visit." He confessed, grimacing at the pain that accompanied each word.

"You made up for it." Lexie tried to reassure him. He clearly thought that his time was running short. He had resorted to confessions, expressing his deepest regrets.

"She was raped." He countered as loudly as his body would allow.

"Shhh….shhh."

"I could have come back for her…I let it happen. It's my fault."

"Alex, don't do this to yourself." Lexie pleaded. He was working his mind into a frenzy, putting himself in pain.

"Amber, I'm sorry." He coughed before succumbing to the darkness once more.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"You can do this, right? You're sure?" Meredith interrogated.

"Every GSW is different. Ok? It's not a blueprint, it's half instinct and half improvisation…and I'm very good. For a resident…I'm very good." Christina addressed her concerns as well as she could.

Meredith attempted to seem faithful. She had an overwhelming amount of trust in her friend, but this was her husband they were talking about. It was different.

"You can't be in there." Christina ordered. "I can't do this if you're in there staring at me with big, sad, 'don't kill McDreamy' eyes."

Their conversation was cut short as the door opened behind them.

"They're ready for you…" April announced in a small voice as she appeared in the doorway to the wash room. Amber stood by her side.

"Meredith…you and Amber are going to wait here."

Amber nodded obediently, but Meredith looked ready to rip Christina's head off.

"Amber. Meredith is going to sit here on the floor. I want you to stay with her." Christina informed her, her voice calm but deathly serious. "If she tries to enter my O.R. or even if she looks like she's getting up to take a peak, I want you to stop her. Okay? I don't care how. You stop her."

Amber's loyalty wasn't with Christina, it was with Meredith. It felt so wrong to agree to keep her from Derek, but she knew it was for the best. She nodded once more in understanding and accepted the task. "Ok."

"He is my husband." Meredith argued emphatically.

"Do you want me to kill him?" Her friend shot back. "Okay, is that what you want? "

Meredith's eyes welled up with tears and she turned her head to the side to evade all of the attention that was focused on her. Christina moved closer and placed her hands on the side of Meredith's face. "I will do my very best work, but please Meredith. I am begging you…sit down."

Ten minutes later, Meredith sat completely still on the tile floor of the sterilization room, her face resting in her hands. Not a single word had been spoken since Christina vanished into the O.R. Amber would have given anything to stand up and find out what was happening, but she knew better.

"Distract me." Meredith requested suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Talk to me. Say anything. I can't keep thinking about what is going on in that room."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything…what's on your mind?" Meredith entreated. "Other than the obvious…"

Amber didn't want to open up to Meredith at this particular moment. She wanted to leave, to go find her brother. However, the rhapsodic nature of Meredith's situation seemed to massively outweigh her own concerns. The information provided by Jackson had confirmed it, Alex was definitely hurt. How badly, she didn't know. It didn't matter anyway. It wasn't like anyone was going to allow her to look for him right now. Yes, her brother was hurt…but so was Derek. Derek was right in the next room, and after everything that this woman had done for her, Amber felt the unspoken need to be there for Meredith. That was loyalty after all; something Meredith had a dancing plethora of…and something that Amber could benefit from further development in.

"Alex is on my mind…I guess."

"What about Alex?"

"All I did was fight with him…" Amber muttered, shaking her head in disbelief. "I spent most of my childhood wishing I could have him back, and once I finally got him…I was horrible. I guess this whole thing has made me realize how important time is…and how we never have enough of it. I just wish I hadn't wasted so much time being angry."

Meredith leaned her head against the steel cabinet below the sink behind her. A look of what mimicked relief shone on her face for a short moment as she allowed her thoughts to graciously become occupied by problems other than her own. "I think that you expect way too much of yourself." She commented.

Amber remained silent for a moment, but not too long. She knew that if the conversation was broken, reality would slowly trickle back in; drowning them with the unpleasant truth of what was commencing only a few yards away. "Care to elaborate?"

"The way I see it…" Meredith leaned forward slightly. "Somewhere along the line, you forgot how to be normal. You've lost the ability to remember that you're only human. Give yourself a break."

Amber was slightly amused by Meredith's psychoanalysis. It was spot on, but not because she had forgotten…but because it was true. She wasn't normal. She would never be normal. To watch someone you love crumble before your very eyes, to be attacked, to be raped, _to be abandoned_… how does one maintain a sense of humanity? How could she, a kid who was dealt an unfortunate hand, hold on to even the tiniest filament of normalcy? Of course she was hard on herself, she had to be. If she had learned anything growing up, it was that this world is a survival of the fittest…and she couldn't allow herself to be weak. There wasn't any room for mistakes, especially now, stuck in a brutal staring contest with mortality. The lingering question was – who would blink first?

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, that is so. You're like me, dark and twisty." Meredith stated, smirking slightly.

"But I'm not too hard on myself." She argued in return. "Like I said, I was horrible. He came back for me and I repaid him by spending the better part of two months wasting the time we could have had together. He could die today, Meredith. Why should I go any easier on myself?"

"Like I said…you've forgotten that you're human. We're flawed, Amber, we're impulsive, irrational, beings. But that's because we feel so much." She disclosed, pausing momentarily as she wracked her brain for the appropriate words. "You didn't give Alex a hard time because you're horrible. You gave him a hard time because you were hurt, because you loved him so much and he left you. And that's what we do when we're hurt. We lash out, even if we don't understand why at the time. But it works both ways…we reach out too. You did let your brother back in eventually, even if it wasn't as quick as you wish it had been now."

Amber sighed, entangled in her own form of internal dilemma. Meredith's words were comforting, so much to the point that she nearly believed her. "If he's going to die…I want him to know that I forgive him."

"You know that he's sorry."

"That's not forgiveness." Amber asserted. "It's not about knowing that he's sorry. It's about accepting that he royally screwed up…but acknowledging that he's worthy of a second chance."

"Second chances are far too few." Meredith conceded. "But trust me…you already gave him one, and he's been using it wisely."

"You think?"

"I know." She affirmed. "You should try giving yourself one."

"Give myself a second chance? At what?"

"At life….at being a normal kid." Meredith replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "It's not too late."

"I could try."

Meredith smiled proudly, feeling well accomplished. It was once in a blue moon that any words of wisdom could get through the thick skull of a Karev, but somehow, she had achieved the impossible. However, with her mission having been completed, a shadow overtook her face as she remembered that her best friend was currently pulling a bullet out of her husband's chest.

"You know, you'll get one too." Amber announced, knowing exactly what Meredith was thinking.

"Get what?"

"A second chance." She replied. "He's going to be fine…and you'll get the chance to tell him you're pregnant."

Meredith considered arguing briefly, but ultimately decided against it. Amber had accepted her heartfelt advice, even if it was mediocre at best. Couldn't she accept the optimistic offerings of a teenage girl?

Meredith held out her pinky. "Second chances?"

Amber looped her own with Meredith's. "Second chances."

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you guys liked it! Since the chapter was so intense, I thought it might be nice to end with a little AmberMeredith fluff! **

There's only one more chapter of the shooting left! Get excited!

Here's another quick author's notes if you're interested in what's coming up:

**First, I would like to put everyone at ease and let you know I will not be doing a large time skip. I plan on focusing directly on the aftermath of the shooting. I might do small intervals or something (i.e. a week after, then 3 weeks, then a month and so on), but I haven't really decided.**

**Also, what does everyone think should happen with Alex and Lexie? Should I be true to the storyline and have them break up after the shooting? Or do you want me to keep them together? Please let me know!**


	21. Death And All Of His Friends Part 2

**HERE IT IS: THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE SHOOTING. JUST A QUICK WARNING. MY ENDING (WHEN THEY ARE EVACUATED) IS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT FROM THE SHOW…BUT I LIKE IT AND I THINK YOU WILL TOO. **

**Also, because this is the last chapter of the shooting, I wanted to clear up a few things so people won't be confused in the upcoming chapters: **

**After this, I will be resuming my original, creative writing. Do not expect my writing to necessarily follow the storyline of the show exactly. I will not be following specific episodes unless something extremely important happens. For example, if people want me to cover the plane crash, I will do that. **

**Please understand that any changes I make to the original storyline of the show are intentional. I know my Grey's Anatomy pretty well. So if something doesn't fit perfectly, you can ask me about it, but chances are I will always answer the same way: I felt like changing it. **

**Because I am not strict about following the show exactly, nothing is out of the realm of possibility. Feel free to ask me to do anything. I will always attempt to figure a way to incorporate your ideas. If enough people want me to make something happen, I will.**

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

The light in Meredith's eyes seemed to grow dimmer by the minute. She had been so giddy lately, finally content with her life. Her happiness had been somewhat out of character, honestly, but nobody had complained. It was as if she had finally found a permanent foot hold, her own place in this world. Unfortunately, Amber could see that all disappearing now. Bit by bit her sparkle was vanishing, the way the sunlight fades until only darkness remains.

Amber couldn't decide whether to say something. Did anything need to be vocalized? How could anyone properly discuss what was happening through the concrete wall in front of them? For all she knew, Derek could be coding. Christina and Jackson could be desperately trying to salvage his life with little hope.

Her thoughts were interrupted as the door to the washroom opened and Owen came into view.

"Owen! Thank god!" Meredith exclaimed. "Derek was shot. No one was down here…we didn't know what to do. Christina is in there. She told me not to look, but she might need help."

Owen glanced through the glass window pane and peered into the operating room. An odd look overtook his features for a brief moment. It lasted for less than a second, coming and going so quickly that Meredith didn't notice and Amber couldn't be sure whether she imagined it.

"She seems to be doing okay…but I'll just head in there and see what I can do." Owen informed them calmly.

"You're not scrubbing in?" Meredith asked as Owen stepped towards the door.

"I'll assess first, and if she needs me then I'll scrub in." He paused momentarily before adding an afterthought. "Christina was right. You should stay down there. Both of you, okay? Don't move…"

It felt as if a lifetime passed as the two of them waited for Owen to return.

"It shouldn't be taking this long…that means something is wrong, right?" Meredith voiced her concerns.

"He probably just wants to observe." Amber reassured. "He's an attending…it's probably for the best."

That seemed to calm her down slightly, but they were both smart enough to know that something fishy was taking place. They continued to shake the looming feeling of dread that seemed to surround them, shrugging it off as nerves. It made sense that they would be nervous, given the situation. It didn't necessarily mean that something serious was happening…right?

"I can't take this anymore!" Meredith screeched, slamming her head back against the cabinet she was leaning on. Amber flinched at the outburst, but remained quiet. "I have to know…I can't just sit here. I'm trying to do what Christina said…I said I wouldn't look, but Derek is my husband!"

"I'll look." Amber cut her off sporadically. Meredith looked up at the young girl and contemplated the offer.

"She didn't say you couldn't…" She rationalized.

Amber nodded in agreement and waited for the older girl's verdict.

"Alright…crack the door open, though. Don't stand up in the window…you might distract her."

Amber knelt by the door and pulled it open just enough to slip her hand in the crack as a barrier. Then, lying on her stomach, she positioned her body so that she was sticking out partially through the doorway. She could hear what was going on and see roughly half of the O.R., but remained hidden for the most part.

Loud voices were the first thing she noticed. Meredith crawled towards her and waited anxiously by her feet. Amber listened more carefully. Once she was finally able to decipher the sounds passing through her ears, her body turned cold and a powerful shiver ran down her spine.

Meredith poked the back of her leg, waiting impatiently for a report on what was occurring. Amber ignored her pleas for information and directed her attention to the noises traveling through the operating room.

"I didn't come here for this. My wife is dead!" Mr. Clarke yelled, his voice bouncing off of every metal surface in the room, leaving behind a taunting echo. His incessant rambling had no limitations, but the gun in his hand remained steady, held level with a clear purpose.

Tears poured down Christina's face uncontrollably, unable to ignore the gun trained intently on her head. She chastised herself internally, knowing that crying would only impair her sight and make her job harder. _Don't think about him. _She coaxed herself as her hands shook. _Just Derek. Think of Derek…you took an oath. Keep working._

"That is the woman I love!" Owen shouted. "If you hurt her…I will kill you!"

Mr. Clarke turned in the direction of the outcry, his eyes livid. "He's responsible!" He shouted, jabbing the gun behind him in Derek's direction before lifting it once more to point at Owen." I came here for justice; an eye for an eye. The only person I want in this room is Sheppard…now back off!"

His menacing voice was replaced by the sound of Christina's sobs as she continued to operate as best as she could.

Mr. Clarke spun back around and pointed the gun directly at Christina's forehead. "Now you step away from that table."

Amber watched in terror with tears in her eyes, biting her hand to keep quiet. Before she knew what was happening, Meredith was on her feet, stepping over her and pushing her way into the O.R.

"Shoot me." She commanded.

All eyes turned to face her. Owen's mouth hung agape at the bold proclamation.

Christina's eyes desperately pleaded with her impulsive friend. "Meredith." She whispered desolately.

"You want justice, right?" Meredith engaged him, her voice firm. "You're wife died, I know what happened. Derek told me the story."

Mr. Clarke's lip trembled slightly as he turned to face the stranger addressing him.

"Lexie Grey is the one that pulled the plug on your wife. She's my sister. Dr. Webber, he was your wife's doctor. I'm the closest thing he has to a daughter." She continued, only pausing once to catch her breath. "And the man on the table, I'm his wife. If you want to hurt them, the way that you hurt….shoot me. I'm your eye for an eye."

Amber couldn't believe what she was hearing. Meredith was sacrificing herself…she was going to let this man kill her. She refused to lie in the doorway like some scared child. She had seen more cruelty, gone through more tragedy than most will in their entire lives. Bravery was innate…so she didn't necessarily think about what her body was actively doing until she was on her feet and in the room.

"Meredith, no!" She protested, her voice breaking.

"Amber, get out of here." Meredith ordered warily as Mr. Clarke took a single step forward, contemplating his next move.

"No." She responded defiantly. Realistically, she knew that there was nothing she could do, but she refused to stand by and watch Meredith sentence herself to death without trying to stop it.

"Amber, you get your ass out of this O.R. right now!" Jackson, who had been silent up until now, bellowed from across the room.

Amber merely shook her head. Meredith stepped in front of her protectively as Mr. Clarke took several more steps in their direction. This time, he raised his gun.

"Tell Derek that I love him and that I'm sorry." She requested as some form of a last, dying wish.

"Meredith…" Christina breathed as she watched the scene unfold, frozen in shock.

"Wait!" Amber shouted. "She's pregnant! You wouldn't shoot a woman who is pregnant!"

Mr. Clarke stopped in his tracks and stared skeptically at Amber. Owen took this as an opportunity to lunge forward and attempt to disarm the man. He had seen plenty of combat in his days, it could be done. Mr. Clarke, however, saw out of the corner of his eye and immediately snapped back to attention and shot Owen without hesitation.

Christina's screams filled the operating room and Meredith grabbed a hold of Amber's wrist reflexively as Owen fell to the floor. "No, no, no!" Christina bleated repeatedly.

"Raise your hands." Jackson dictated in Christina's direction. She continued sobbing, unable to make sense of his instructions over her own hysteria. "Trust me, raise your hands."

Christina continued to ignore him. Jackson's mask lifted at the corners as his eyes widened, hoping to convey a serious look with his colleague. "He's going to shoot again. Raise your hands."

Christina finally obliged, thrusting her hands in the air as if under arrest. "I'm stopping! I'm stopping!" She announced to the gunman frantically.

"No!" Meredith screeched, distraught as she stared at the helpless body of her husband.

"See? I stopped!" Christina declared over Meredith's cries.

Now it was Meredith's turn to sob uncontrollably. It was a heart wrenching noise, Amber decided right away. She couldn't stand to hear it.

"Listen to me!" Jackson exclaimed, earning Mr. Clarke's attention. "In a few seconds, his heart is going to pump all of the blood into his chest and stop beating. You'll see it on the monitor, just wait."

Mr. Clarke stared back incredulously, waiting for any ounce of proof to present itself.

"Wait for it." Jackson repeated. "Watch the monitor and wait for it."

"Please don't die!" Meredith bawled.

"Shut up!" Jackson boomed, hoping to quiet her down.

Meredith continued to sob, clinging to Amber and listening in horror as the steady beeping transformed into a long, high pitched flat-line.

Mr. Clarke kept his gun raised, staring intently at the monitor, wondering if it were possible that this was finally over.

"It's over...he's dead." Christina affirmed.

Meredith crumpled to the floor, her entire reason for living suddenly swept out from beneath her. "N-no! Derek!" She cried out again and again. "Derek!"

Mr. Clarke stared at the thin line running along the monitor for a few moments longer before eventually backing out of the O.R. slowly.

The very second he was out of sight, Amber watched in utter confusion as Jackson reconnected a wire that he held in the palm of his hand…a wire that led to the monitor. "We've got a pulse. 128, BP cycling."

Amber nudged Meredith and pointed towards the operating table, still unable to make sense of what was actually happening. Was Derek alive? Christina placed her hands back in his chest and resumed the operation as if no time had passed.

Meredith's sobs quieted down, staring in bewilderment as her friend began operating on her husband once more.

"Mer, is Owen dead?" Christina implored, too afraid to look at the man she loved, lying in a heap on the opposite side of the room. Meredith couldn't find the means to respond, still trying to make sense of the image splayed before her. "Dr. Grey, is Owen dead?" Christina repeated forcefully.

Meredith pulled herself together cautiously before glancing at Owen's static frame. "He's alive! He's unconscious, but he's alive."

"Take him to the O.R. across the way and take the bullet out. Get April to help you."

Amber had nearly forgotten about April. She had stood in the corner without so much as a hitched breath to give away her presence. Having already had an encounter with Mr. Clarke, she had literally pressed herself against the wall and tried to disappear. Now, however, she stepped forward and alerted Meredith of her willingness to assist.

"Christina…" Meredith tried to converse, wanting her to shed even a little bit of light on what had just played out.

"I can't talk right now!" She broke in. "I'm trying to save your guy. Now please go try to save mine."

Without further protest, Meredith and April collected Owen with haste while trying to remain efficient. A minute later, they were out the door, leaving Amber like a statue. Her eyes were glued on Derek, not positive whether she was meant to leave as well.

"Are you okay?" Jackson fretted, snapping her out of her trance.

Amber nodded slowly, knowing that it was a total lie, but not caring. Jackson had bigger worries. He shouldn't be wasting his time thinking about her.

"You ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll kill you myself." He warned, catching her eye transiently before returning his focus to Derek.

"Understood." Amber returned softly.

"Remind me to thank you later." Christina looked up and stared at Jackson.

"I will." He pledged. And with that, they got back to work.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

_Alex's phone was relentless, buzzing uncontrollably against the dark wood of his night stand. It was his first day off in god knows how long and some ass hole had the audacity to call him at 1:00 in the morning. For their sake, he hoped that it wasn't anyone from the house…because he would be forced to kill them for this._

"_Karev." He mumbled sleepily, shoving the phone against his ear crookedly. _

"_Alex Karev?" A feminine voice he didn't recognize questioned. "This is Gertrude Clark of Iowa social services." _

_Alex sat up in bed and tried to tap his face awake. The word "Iowa" alone meant nothing but trouble. "Yes?" He asked, a knot forming deep in the pit of his stomach. _

"_I believe we have your younger sister, Amber Karev, in custody." _

"_What?" He asked, not sure if he had heard correctly. "What did she do? Is she alright?" He didn't know whether to assume she was hurt…or had committed a crime. She was a bright kid when he left, but it had been years since he had spoken to his mother or either of his siblings. She could be a delinquent by this point, and honestly, he wouldn't particularly blame her._

"_It's nothing that she did." Mrs. Clark informed him. "Are you familiar with the name Steven Goldstein?" _

"_No…should I be?" _

"_He's been living with your mother and sister for the past several weeks." _

"_Okay…?" Alex waited, unsure what any of this had to do with his sister being placed in state custody._

"_Police responded to a 911 call placed by a neighbor who heard loud screams and crashes through a window left open on the first floor. By the time dispatch arrived, Amber had been severely sexually assaulted and your mother was nonresponsive."_

"_What the hell?" Alex sat straight up in bed. "What do you mean sexually assaulted? And why was my mother nonresponsive?" _

"_Your mom had overdosed at the time. She's at the hospital currently. I don't have any more information on her condition other than she is expected to make a full recovery. I'm calling only on behalf of your sister, who has been placed with social services until a permanent home can be decided upon."_

"_Amber was raped?" He choked out, his voice sounding foreign as the world spun around him. He knew she was much older now, but all he could picture was the eight year old girl standing at the edge of their driveway in kitten pajamas; the little girl he had left behind so many years ago. Someone had attacked his baby sister…and where the hell was Aaron during all of this? _

"_The doctors are running a kit. She mostly refuses to speak of it…but they are fairly certain that this wasn't the first time someone like this has occurred."_

_Alex couldn't speak. He was absolutely positive that if he opened his mouth, he would be violently ill. The only sound he produced was a dull, agonized groan. _

"_You're the next of kin…" Mrs. Clarke's voice sounded from the other line._

_Alex still didn't reply. He knew what this meant…he was supposed to take Amber. What a laughable concept that was. He hadn't spoken to her years, she undoubtedly hated his guts. He didn't even know her anymore really, apart from the engraved image of the second grader he abandoned. How old was she now? He hadn't the slightest clue. _

"_What about Aaron?" He finally asked. _

"_I'm afraid that your brother's criminal record and health concerns do not make him a suitable guardian."_

"_Criminal record?" Alex inquired. The Aaron he had left had been flawless; always doing what Alex told him, always knowing right from wrong. Alex felt as if he had been shoved into a parallel universe, one where everything was misplaced. _

"_Possession, possession with intent to sell, breaking and entering….I'm sorry, but the list goes on." She answered him stoically._

"_I have a record too." Alex blurted out. "Can I even take her?" _

"_You have a juvenile record, Mr. Karev, one the courts are well aware of. Stealing groceries to feed your siblings as an adolescent is something that can be overlooked." _

_Silence filled the air as Alex attempted to make sense of all the information that had been thrown at him. Both his mother and brother were drug addicts. His mother allowed some alcoholic pervert to sleep in the general vicinity of his little sister…..and she had been raped. _

"_If you cannot accept custody of her, she'll become a ward of the state." Mrs. Clark offered after a moment, a slight trace of gloom in her words. "I'm sorry…but there isn't anyone else." _

"_N-no…" Alex stuttered frantically. "I want her. She's my sister. I can take care of her."_

"_Are you sure?" She pressed. It wasn't a rude question, but more of precautionary measure, as if she needed to know without a shadow of a doubt that Amber would be going to someone who was truly willing to take her. "Especially given what she has gone through, it's more important than ever that she live in a stable environment."_

"_With all due respect, I looked after that kid for eight years…my brother for even longer." Alex defended his capabilities. "I've spent time in foster care. Trust me, my life is more stable than anything the system could give her and I think you know it."_

"_I agree with you, but there is one thing you should be aware of before we proceed…something that you're going to have to deal with." _

"_Yeah?"_

"_She is being forced to do this…she doesn't want anything to do with you." _

_I'm ready._ Alex told himself on a loop. He was fearful, but not to the point that he needed to fight any longer. His life hadn't been great. In fact, much of it had been a nightmare, a dark shadow that he was constantly trying to outrun. But despite all that, he didn't have that many regrets. He made the best of his circumstances. The only thing he ever agonized over was the pain he caused his siblings…particularly his sister.

Lying quietly on a metal table, feeling his body grow increasingly cold, Alex was at peace. He had made up for what he had done to Amber, his one and only regret. She had come to live with him kicking and screaming. She had wanted nothing to do with him, claiming that she would prefer an orphanage to him. Now, she loved him, loved him the way she once did. There wasn't much else he could really ask for. She hadn't necessarily forgiven him, but then again, she might never forgive him. He had done the best that he could to patch things up and she knew that he was sorry.

His sadness came from the fact that he might not see her grow up. Would she become a surgeon? A geneticist? Find the ultimate cure for schizophrenia? He knew she would do something great, he just wished he could stick around for it. Then there was Lexie. Would they have gone the distance? Would they have broken up? Gotten married? Had kids? Perhaps he would never find out.

Either way, his time was nearing…he could feel it.

"Alex?" Lexie whispered, reaching for his hand. She could physically see his body resigning as he began to let go. "Keep fighting! Don't give up."

"Stay with me." He requested.

"Of course I am." She sniffed, squeezing his hand as tightly as she could. "Just keep holding on, okay? I'm not ready to lose you yet. You have a lot of people who need you here. I know it would be easier to let go. I know that you must be tried, but you have to _keep fighting_." She spoke the last part emphatically, accenting each word with another squeeze of his hand.

The door flung open. Mark jumped, ready to go down swinging. He stopped upon reading the large 'S.W.A.T.' on the vest of the stranger who had entered the room.

"This floor is clear." The man spoke. "We're going to evacuate you now."

Lexie exhaled the largest sigh of relief imaginable, as if she had been holding her breath since the event began. It was quite possible that she actually had been. Could this really be over? They were saved. Her prayers had been answered. Alex was going to be okay.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

The pediatrics ward was one of the first to be evacuated, even before Mark, Lexie, and Alex. Arizona had already had time to come to terms with what had happened. Still, she hadn't said a word to anyone, especially to Callie since they were cleared out into the parking lot. She and Callie had shared a moment, a moment brought on by tragedy, but a moment nonetheless. It was an epiphany, an extreme one. She felt the undeniable need to do everything in her power to make this woman happy forever. If Callie wanted kids, she could have kids. She could have as many kids as she wanted…as long as she didn't mind starting with one in particular.

Standing outside of the hospital entrance, both cleared by the EMTs without injuries, they stared at each other longingly. They were stuck at a cross roads, both wanting the other, but not sure if the other wanted them. Who was going to budge first?

The mystery was unbearable. Would Callie be able to forgive her? The things she had said while Mr. Clarke was in the room were wonderful, but they had been prompted. They both thought they might be about to die. All of those feelings could easily go away now that they were safe. "I'm going to go see if kids need help finding their parents." Arizona announced, turning to walk away.

"I don't want to have kids if it means I can't be with you." Callie declared suddenly.

Arizona spun around and walked to stand directly in front of Callie. "No." She rebuked. "We'll have kids. We'll have all kinds of kids. We'll have 10 kids. I can't live without you, you and our 10 kids."

Callie cut her off with a silencing kiss, holding her close, overcome with appreciation and love.

Arizona pulled away. "Adopt Nora with me." She said without warning.

"What?" Callie sputtered.

"You heard me. I keep pretending like I don't want her. Well I do, I want her. I want her so bad. Adopt her with me, Calliope."

"Arizona…" Callie breathed, exasperated. This was very out of character for Arizona, so spur of the moment and impulsive. "I m-mean…what? Is that even possible?"

"It's possible. Let's adopt her."

Callie stared back in return, not responding right away. This had to be shock speaking. The Arizona she knew didn't want kids, didn't want to be a mother. She would never suggest that they adopt a three year old girl, one who already had health issues. That was what she had been afraid of all along, the possibility of losing a child. It was the very reason they had broken up to begin with. She had been unable to let go of that fear.

"I mean it Callie. I'm being dead serious. I want to adopt her…what do you say?"

Callie shook her head in disbelief, a low chuckle rising from deep within her stomach. Soon she was laughing out-loud, a strong laugh that shook her entire body. Arizona didn't know the reasons behind Callie's oddities, but joined in anyway. Soon, the two of them were laughing uncontrollably for reasons unknown to either party.

When they finally calmed down, Callie wiped a tear away from under her eye and gave her final answer. "Yes." She agreed with a smile. "I will adopt Nora with you."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

S.W.A.T. burst into the surgical wing mere minutes after the surgery ended. Christina was thankful for that much because she and Jackson were at a loss for where and how they would transfer Derek once they had finally finished.

Christina and Jackson had saved Derek's life. While Amber was proud of Jackson's cleverness to say the least, nothing could compare to the overwhelming amount of admiration she felt towards Christina Yang. What she had witnessed was one of the most colossal acts of bravery imaginable. It was truly something that would stick with her for the rest of her life, despite the tragedy that brought it upon.

The sunlight was blinding as the S.W.A.T. team boxed them in and lead them outside through the back entrance. Jackson held Amber's hand as if she were a child, somewhat afraid that she might disappear without warning before he had the chance to return her to her brother. She let him without protest, knowing that they both needed the brief feeling of security. Christina kept a hand on the small of her back, not so much out of protection, but in preparation of bad news. The likelihood of finding Alex uninjured, or alive for that matter, was low.

Christina's eyes scanned the masses, carefully investigating the area in front of each ambulance. The wounded were being transported to Seattle Presbyterian. She knew that Meredith, April, and Owen had been evacuated first and she was hoping to catch a glimpse of them before the scene got crazier than it already was. She hadn't been told much. S.W.A.T. had informed her that the man they had cleared was stable and had remained lucid the entire time. Meredith even claimed that he put up a fight when they were patching him up. It sounded just like the Owen that she knew…and she was overjoyed by that.

The majority of the crowd flocked towards every free police officer within sight. Amber had questions too. Like anyone else, she was dying to know every last detail of what actually happened and why it took so long for someone to stop it. There would be a time and a place for those questions, but now was not that time.

She would hear about it later, about how Mr. Clarke found Richard Weber with a single bullet remaining in his gun. How he told of his dilemma: unsure whether to use that last bullet to kill Richard…or himself. She would hear the story multiple times in the days to come. How Richard showed no fear, how he was proud of the life he had lived. How, ultimately, Mr. Clarke took his own life in the end.

She would hear how Lexie narrowly avoided being murdered, how Miranda Bailey held the hand of a resident during his last moments of life…how Meredith miscarried her child while saving Owen.

Now, however, she needed only one answer. She only needed to know where Alex was.

Holding her palm out in front of her to block the sunlight, she caught sight of Mark, barking information at a nearby EMT. Lexie stood idly at his side. That was when she fully took notice of the gurney they were gathered near. She couldn't see his face. In fact, she could barely make out any of his features at all. She could only see light blue scrubs stained heavily with blood. But, for some unknowable reason, she knew that it was her brother.

"Alex!" She shrieked, taking off running towards the gurney that held him. Christina tried to grab her arm, but Amber was too far gone to stop.

Amber was at her brother's side in seconds, pushing past the EMTs wheeling him away. "Wait!" She pleaded. "He's my brother!" She grabbed the side railing and leaned over his bloody body, careful not to touch him in the process.

Jackson appeared behind her, needing to see for himself. He had believed whole heartedly that Alex was fine, or at least he tried to convince himself. Swallowing, he took a step back, unable to look directly at him for too long.

"I forgive you." Amber declared loudly, practically yelling, wanting to make sure her brother could hear it through whatever haze he was trapped in. "Do you hear me? I forgive you!"

Alex's eyelids fluttered open. He wasn't entirely coherent, that much was obvious. Nevertheless, he weakly lifted the arm of his non-wounded side and allowed his fingers to brush along Amber's cheek. "I know those eyes." He breathed with a light laugh, recognizing his sister.

"Please don't die…I need you." She whimpered in return.

"You forgive me, huh?" He mumbled.

"Yes." She whispered through her tears, grabbing his hand tightly. "I forgive you."

"Good…took you long enough." He allowed his hand to drop limply back to his side, grimacing at the pain that shot through his body.

"We need to take him." A female EMT informed her, unlocking the wheels of the gurney once more.

"Jackson." Alex managed to summon, sensing the movement of his gurney.

Jackson emerged at Amber's side, placing a protective hand on her shoulder. "Yeah?"

"You'll take care of her right?" Alex needed to hear it. Nothing is ever certain, that he could be damned well sure of. He had come to terms with it, the ever-present possibility of his death. Receiving a promise from Mark was one thing, but receiving a promise from Jackson was different. Jackson's relationship with Amber was different. This was going to be a long road. She was going to need him, whether or not Alex died.

"She's in good hands….until you get back." Jackson avowed.

"Be good, kiddo." Alex muttered, closing his eyes again. "Love you."

The EMT's began to wheel him away, loading him into the back of an ambulance. Amber kept a tight grip on the railing. She held on with every ounce of her strength as Jackson peeled her hand off, finger by finger.

"Alex…" Amber called after him. She tried to follow the EMT, but Jackson was restraining her. She attempted to fight against his embrace, but he had her enveloped tightly in his arms. The police hadn't released them from the scene yet, she had to stay.

"Amber, stop fighting." Jackson told her gently, not loosening his grip. She would tire herself out eventually. "They're going to fix him up…he's going to be okay."

"I want to go home." She choked out, feeling short of breath.

"Alright." He soothed. "We're going to talk to one of the officers and I'll take you home."

Amber pulled away and used the side of her index finger to swipe away a few tears.

"Will you be alright with Mark and Lexie for a second? I'm going to go find someone to give me some answers."

She nodded in reply and watched as he shoved his way back through the clumps of people hovering around the scene while waiting for information. It was then that she looked up and made eye contact with Lexie for the first time. They stared at each other from several yards away for what had to have been at least a minute before Amber finally discarded her stubbornness.

Flinging herself across the gap between them, she threw herself into Lexie's arms, finding comfort in the remnants of the friendship she once had. "You saved his life." She babbled. "If he lives…it's because of you."

"He's going to live." Lexie informed her, an air of certainty in her voice making it hard to refute.

Mark came closer then. He knelt down to Amber's level and put his hands on her shoulders. "All he talked about was _you_." He told her intently. "All he cared about was that you were okay."

"Did he know I was here?" She entreated.

"Not a clue." He answered. "And still, he was only thinking of you. I know you say he doesn't always show it…but don't ever question how much that boy loves you. That's some of the deepest love I've ever seen."

Amber nodded, at a loss for words. The emotions were crippling. She reached out and gave Mark a quick hug as well. "Thank you for what you did for him." She managed to squeak out.

He returned the hug, his arm span consuming her body. "Believe me. You don't need to thank me for anything."

She retreated a few feet away from the two of them and waited, lost in her own world until Jackson reemerged several minutes later.

"Alright kiddo." He said, cupping her shoulder. "What do you say we go home?"

"Yeah." She responded immediately.

He guided her around the side of the building, taking the longest route possible to the parking lot. The hospital had been cleared. He could have cut through the bottom floor, but neither of them could have handled it.

A time for healing would come. But for now, all Amber needed was for this place to be out of her direct line of sight. She didn't know whether she would feel the same about Seattle Grace Mercy West again, whether she would ever be able to feel safe, whether she could ever walk down the hallways freely without feeling as if she were in danger. Only time would tell.

For the time being, those she loved were alive. She had no idea what would happen tomorrow. But as for today…things could have ended a lot worse.

* * *

><p><strong>Alright guys, finito! My goodness, I can't believe I'm actually done with the shooting. It's been a challenge, but I've thoroughly enjoyed it! Thank you for your support and for not booing me off of the website for attempting it. <strong>

**As far as Alex and Lexie go, I need more opinions. It is pretty much a tie right now…so yeah, let me know. Break up, or stay together? I am completely open to the idea of Mark/Lexie if that's what people want. Just let me know! **

**Oh and also, I'm going to be doing some editing on my earlier chapters. I don't know whether you guys get notifications for that, but I wanted to warn you that I'll be uploading revised versions in the next few days. Don't worry though. I know I'm not the fastest updater, but the editing will not make me any slower than I already am! **


	22. 3 Days

**Sorry for the ridiculously long wait! I have been insanely sick. I haven't had a voice for like a week and I still have a cough that basically reduces me to a choking mess 24/7. I pretty much use all my free time when I'm not doing homework to rest. But, the show must go on! **

**Before anything, ****I want to say a massive thank you to delena'sangle****. The review you gave me was one of the nicest compliments I have ever received. As someone who hopes to be a novelist or screenwriter someday, such praise of my writing nearly brought me to tears. Honestly, reviews like the one you left me make me want to work that much harder. **

**Okay, so this chapter is very conversation-centered. It's mostly hospital room visits and home life for Jackson and Amber. Have no fear though, in the upcoming chapters I intend to introduce Christina and April into the story as more regular characters. And for all of those who requested Jackson take over for a little bit after the shooting, the moment has arrived! **

**Also, before you read, just know that I am intentionally writing Jackson and Amber a little out of character. They've just been through a tragedy and I am trying to capture how it has negatively impacted each of their personalities. So before anybody leaves me distraught comments telling me they're acting weird…I thought I should warn you.**

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Do you remember how fearless I was as a kid?" Amber giggled, leaning in closer. She watched meticulously for changes in Alex's face; a twitch, a smile, anything….but he remained fast asleep as usual.

It wasn't like he was in a coma or anything. He was just heavily medicated fighting off an infection. So needless to say, he slept a lot. In fact, it had been three days since the shooting and he had not been awake during her visiting hours once. Nevertheless, Amber refused to give up a single minute of the time she was allowed to spend in his hospital room.

As far as the talking went, she knew he probably couldn't hear her. It just seemed so weird to sit next to him in silence, so she generally filled the empty air with funny stories or memories.

"I used to go out behind the house and find frogs and garden snakes by the pond. Aaron thought it was weird that they didn't scare me." She recalled fondly. "I would name them and keep them in the sink or bathtub while you were at work….you would come home and get _so_ mad."

She laughed, remembering the good moments of her childhood. After their father left, it hadn't been all that bad. She was too young to understand that oddity of her situation. Her brother's attempted to give her as much stability as possible. They let her be a kid. She ran around in the front yard with Alex, collected bugs and frogs near the neighborhood pond, caught fireflies in the evening with Aaron, and so many of the little things that childhood is meant to consist of. It wasn't until Alex moved across the country that life became her own private hell. But truth be told, she had it much better than Alex and Aaron growing up.

Alex had spent a large chunk of his childhood bouncing around between foster homes, even spending some time in a juvenile detention center. Amber went to a few as a baby, but couldn't draw upon any details of her time in the system. Her mother regained custody of her and Aaron right before she turned three. Alex had already aged out of the system by that time and moved back home to make sure they wouldn't be taken away again.

"I wish I was still like that." She disclosed softly. "Like I said, I really wasn't afraid of anything….hell, now I'm afraid all the time."

It was almost comical, the way she longed for things to return to the way they were before. This was the same man she blamed for everything, the man that she spent years despising. And yet, things were so different now. She missed his quick temper, his sarcastic remarks, his dry sense of humor. He may be overly cynical, a little rough around the edges, but he was her family. They were perfectly imperfect, dysfunctional in every sense of the word. She just needed him to get better. She couldn't help but worry that if too much time trickled by without improvement, social services would yank away before she had the chance to utter so much as a 'get well soon.'

"I'm afraid of losing you." Amber admitted. "I went through it once, and believe me, it wasn't fun. That's why you have to get better. It would be a real dick move if you didn't. I mean, you leave me for seven years and then come back just to die on me? I don't think so."

Alex's chances of recovery were great, or so the other doctors had been saying. He was still in the ICU, but that was only precautionary. His gunshot wound was healing and they were keeping him strongly medicated to reverse the other damage that had been done. He had contracted a semi-serious infection from his impromptu chest tube and blood transfusion during the shooting. It was a necessary infection though…those spur of the moment procedures had saved his life.

"Amber, come on kid, I'm going to take you home. Jackson's already there." Mark spoke from behind her. His eyes were sad. Amber could assume he had just finished visiting Derek.

"I thought Lexie was taking me?"

"She's going to stay with Alex." He replied.

"Why can't I stay?"

Mark shrugged. He was sure they could have convinced the night staff to let her crash one night in Alex's room, but Lexie had volunteered to stay in her place and Jackson seemed to want Amber to come home. "You'll have to take that up with Jackson. I'm just the messenger."

"Do I really have to leave?" She pleaded. Mark acted like a hard ass with his residents, but she knew that he was a giant softy deep down.

His stance wavered for a moment as he shifted from one foot to the other. "Yeah." He sighed. If it were up to him, he would have given the kid what she wanted, but as previously stated, he was only the messenger. "I'm sorry. I can give you another few minutes while I go get my jacket from Derek's room, but that's it."

Amber grunted in clear annoyance before squeezing Alex's hand and pulling herself onto her feet. "Ok, I'll meet you by the nurses' station." She attempted to speak as politely as possible. It wasn't Mark's fault, she knew that.

Mark nodded and gave her a half-hearted smile before leaving.

Amber huffed again as she scooped up her purse and North Face from the floor. Why did Jackson get to make her come home? Her brother was in the hospital. If staying by his side was what made her feel better, who was Jackson to tell her otherwise?

It had been a tense couple of days. Clearly, Lexie and Meredith were never around. Jackson seemed to have taken over in Alex's absence. Amber knew that was what Alex wanted, even if he had barely been lucid when he requested it. That still didn't make it any easier to accept though. She felt somewhat edged out, like Lexie had decided she was better fit to look after her brother. What was Amber supposed to do? Return to a normal life and blindly accept orders from Jackson while Lexie and Meredith handled all of the recovery details? That didn't seem fair…Amber had been there too.

Maybe Lexie felt a stronger inclination to monitor Alex because she had seen everything that happened to him first hand. Amber hadn't shown up until the end. She could understand that, but it was starting to really eat at her. Perhaps she should have broken away from Meredith and Christina. Maybe she could have found him and brought help. Her heart had constantly been urging her to go after him, but her brain had made her stay put. Had she done the right thing? It wasn't as if she had really made a difference with Derek or Owen. She had just sort of…been there. She didn't save their lives like Christina or Jackson, and she didn't attempt to sacrifice herself like Meredith. She, truthfully, had done nothing. Maybe, all along, she should have been with her brother.

Amber tried desperately to shove these thoughts out of her head. As if she wasn't already in a bad enough mood, this newfound guilt was not helping her to move on. She looked back at her sleeping brother one last time from the doorway.

"I know you probably can't hear me…but I love you. You tell me that every day and I rarely say it back. I guess now is as good a time as any, right?"

She wasn't surprised by the silence that followed. She hadn't actually been anticipating an answer. It was a superstitious thing really, something she had been doing every time she left the room over the past three days. If on the off chance that something catastrophically wrong occurred while she was gone and he didn't make it, she needed to be certain that the last thing she ever said to her brother was that she loved him.

Dragging her feet out into the hallway, Amber carried herself gloomily down the hallway until the nurses' station was in her direct line of sight. A familiar face caught her eye and she quickened her pace. "Meredith!" She called out.

Meredith looked up from the paper work she was filling out and gave a small wave of her hand. She glanced back down and scribbled a signature before sliding the sheet towards the nurse on duty. It was most likely about Derek's hospital transfer. Seattle Grace Mercy West was said to re-open in a week or so, pending psychological evaluation of those in charge. It had been a horrible tragedy, but they had a duty to the city of Seattle. They couldn't stay closed forever. Everyone would have to move on eventually.

"Are you coming home tonight?" Amber asked hopefully as she approached her friend. She was happy that she had finally caught Meredith outside of Derek's hospital room for once. She didn't like to go in there while Meredith was visiting unless Christina was with her. Somehow it felt too much like intruding otherwise.

"I don't think so." Meredith offered her a sad smile, laced with pity, but nothing more. She had been home maybe once in the days since the shooting. Seattle Presbyterian had accommodated all of the wounded flawlessly, even allowing Meredith and Lexie to spend nights in the ICU with their significant others. This was generally strictly forbidden, but seeing as the visitors in this case were skilled surgeons, exceptions had been made.

Amber sighed. Her time with Alex was limited, and he was asleep all of it. He was healing nicely, but as a teenage girl with no medical title, she was allowed no more than the regular allotted visiting hours. She felt lonely…she missed Meredith. There was a period of several weeks before the shooting, a short time where Meredith had been acting so…joyful. She wasn't necessarily a dismal person, but she wasn't joyful by nature either. The fact that her optimism had been so prominent had made Amber think things were changing for the better…but that hope was gone now. Amber knew that now more than ever, Meredith was likely to retreat. It was always the same old song: let someone in, and watch helplessly as they slowly slip back out.

"How's Derek?"

The corners of Meredith's mouth lifted slightly. "He's hanging in there. He really wants you to stop by when you can."

Amber's spirits increased somewhat at the request. She had been so focused on Alex that she hadn't even thought to stop by and see how Derek was doing. Then again, she couldn't say whether Meredith had been to see Alex either. They had both been preoccupied by the person they cared about the most. Nevertheless, she was touched that Derek asked for her.

"I'm sure Alex wouldn't hate it if you came by too….although he'd never ask out loud." Amber returned.

"I would be a little bit concerned about his mental health if he _did _ask." Meredith admitted. "I'll be sure to stop by later tonight."

"Amber." Mark demanded her attention from the corridor behind her.

She turned around to face the source of her name, frowning slightly as she realized that it was time to leave.

"I guess I'll see you around…" Amber said awkwardly before sulking towards Mark.

"Take care of yourself." Meredith called after her.

The ride home was awkward to say the least. Amber usually enjoyed Mark's company. He was always very jovial, light hearted and never pushy. Today, however, she simply wasn't in the mood for his various attempts at making her laugh.

Mark seemed somewhat defeated by her lack of interest, but could understand her not wanting to speak. He probably wouldn't want to either if their roles were reversed.

"I'm a phone call away." He reminded her as they pulled into the driveway. "Callie and Arizona too. If you get lonely, I'm sure they would love for you to come by and see Nora."

"Thank you." She replied genuinely before climbing out of his SUV and making her way towards the house.

When she walked through the back door, Jackson was standing at the stove attempting to cook again. He looked frazzled. Cooking was not exactly his forte and every night had been a different horror show. She glanced at the pot and gave a small smile, figuring that _even he_ could not mess up spaghetti.

Jackson had thrown himself into the house-wife persona. Things were rather hectic, but he wanted to try to keep Amber's home life as normal as he possibly could. He was trying to handle the things Alex, Meredith, and Lexie would usually take care of. This meant cooking, doing laundry, locking the doors at night, knowing Amber's schedule by heart, and several other things that he couldn't help but feel were rapidly depleting his masculinity.

"Hey Amber." He greeted, looking over his shoulder briefly,

"Hi." She replied, not very warmly. She was still a little bit irritated that he had forced her to come home.

"Did you get to speak to Alex today?"

"No." She told him sadly. "He slept during every set of visiting hours. But doctors say he woke up for a few hours really late last night."

"He'll be awake more as he gets stronger. Just give it a few days."

Amber scowled behind his back. Ever since the shooting, she had been feeling unusually cynical. She was taking after Alex in that way she supposed. When something tragic occurred, she tended to pull back into her shell and lash out at whoever was naïve enough to try to help.

She yanked her phone out of her pocket and read the several texts she had received from Caleb during the drive home. The two of them were going stir crazy apart from each other. Not only were they at that ridiculously affectionate stage of their relationship, but the added pressure from the near death experience had left them both anxious and in need of the other's company. Suddenly she felt the intense desire to get out of the house. The walls were closing in and seeing her boyfriend seemed like a pleasant escape.

"Can I go over to Caleb's for a little bit?" Amber asked, glancing over at Jackson. He turned away from the stove to face her, mulling it over.

"I don't think so…not tonight." He answered curtly, wiping his hands off on his jeans.

"Why not?" She argued. "It's Saturday."

"Just not tonight, alright?"

"Please? I haven't seen him since before…." She let her voice trail off, knowing she wasn't brave enough to address the recent events for what they truly were. Jackson knew what she was referring to. She didn't need to spell it out. "I just haven't seen him in a while."

"Amber, I said no." He spoke firmly. He wasn't ready to have her out of his sight…not yet. If something happened to her on his watch he would never forgive himself. Alex had entrusted him with her safety, and after everything they had been through, he was definitely going to keep her on a short leash. It was one thing for her to be at the hospital, but that was as far as he was willing to allow for the time being. Even if it was as simple as going to her boyfriend's house, he couldn't shake the feeling that something could go wrong. Things always seemed to bend that way lately.

"I know you said no." She fired back, placing a hand on her hip in a display of her annoyance. "You just haven't given me a good reason why."

"First of all…I don't need a reason." He asserted, crossing his arms. He didn't like being condescending, but if he was going to be looking after her until Alex got better, it was bound to happen sometime. "But if you want one, here you go. You have make-up work to do and I know for a fact you haven't touched it. You're going back to school Monday so that needs to get done before I let you do anything else."

_Let me?_ Amber thought, slightly peeved. Yes, she viewed Jackson as an authority figure….but this was different. He was on the verge of taking complete charge and it wasn't sitting well with her. She usually tended to follow his orders simply out of respect, and sometimes out of the fear that he would nark on her to her older brother. But she didn't have a reason to listen to him now. Alex wasn't around to get mad at her if she didn't and Jackson wasn't the boss of her.

"If I do my work tonight can I go see him tomorrow?"

"We'll see." He answered blandly.

"That means no."

"No, it means we'll see." The increasing irritation in his voice was becoming obvious, but Amber didn't particularly care.

"Why can't you just give me a 'yes' or 'no' answer?"

"Amber, case closed." He silenced her sharply. "Go start your work until dinner is ready. You keep it up and I'll just give you a 'no' answer. I doubt that's what you want."

Amber backed down, although inside she could feel her blood boiling. It had taken Alex months to handle her authority problem, and that was merely with him. He was family. Did Jackson really expect her to just accept his new role? She could take care of herself with her brother gone…obviously. She had done it once before. She didn't need Jackson to tell her what to do. "Fine." She hissed, spinning around to leave.

She lingered in the doorway momentarily, a new thought suddenly coming to mind. "You know Jackson…." She started, somewhat apprehensively. "Just because you let me out of the house doesn't mean I'm going to get shot."

It was a low blow, bringing up the shooting like that, she knew. But she had a strong feeling that it was the only thing that would really catch his attention.

Amber didn't give Jackson a chance to answer before exiting the kitchen and sulking down the hallway to her bedroom. He was worried about her, she got that. But at the same time, he was being irrational….and she had no intentions of taking it lying down.

Jackson stood frozen by the stove, shoulders hunched. Amber's last comment had caught him off guard. It wasn't just her getting shot he was worried about. It was _everything_. He could control how far she went at the hospital. He had people watching her every move. The same went for the house; he could keep an eye on her. But anywhere else? God knows what could go wrong.

He knew that he was being hard on her. It wasn't something that he enjoyed, but it was something he still had to do. He had no way of knowing how long it would be before Alex was in good enough shape to reclaim his place. And in the mean time, especially with Meredith and Lexie always gone, he was the only thing that stood in between Amber and any potential danger. Maybe it was a bit excessive, but given what they had endured a few days earlier, he didn't care if he was being overprotective. Amber was just going to have to learn to live with it.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Meredith focused on the steady clicking made by the heels of her shoes as she headed down the vacant hallway of the ICU. She felt a little guilty that three days had passed and this was the first time she had set foot anywhere near Alex's room. In her defense, he had only been awake once for an hour or two a day earlier. But then again, that hadn't stopped Amber from sitting by his side, and it probably shouldn't have stopped her either. He was her friend…if that was a strong enough word. Meredith wasn't a fan of titles, of mush and gush, of anything too sweet or frivolous by nature. She didn't affectionately refer to people as "BFFs," she didn't playfully call Derek "hubby" or some other nauseating term. However, that didn't mean she didn't get close to people. She did…in her own way.

The same could be said for Alex. He was incredibly cautious with his method of defining relationships, which was perhaps the reason she had drifted to him to start with. Meredith had him pegged from day one. For some odd reason, he wanted everyone to view him as the flagrant asshole with no redeeming qualities. And obviously there were times when he was an undeniable jackass, but that wasn't necessarily _him_, it was just another façade. One of many.

Their relationship was different to say the least. It was an odd combination of brother-sister and confidant. He let Meredith see his true side on occasion, opened up, sought advice. The same was true of her. Why she would place her trust in someone like Alex Karev, most people would never understand. In fact, she may never be able to fully comprehend it herself. But for some ungodly reason…it worked.

"Are you gonna come in or are you just going to chill creepily in the hallway?" Alex's raspy voice sounded from inside the room.

Meredith let out a light laugh, realizing that she had been standing awkwardly just to the side of his doorway. She walked into his room and took a seat in the empty chair next to his bedside. This was, she assumed, one of the rare moments this chair had actually been empty. From what she had been told, Amber and Lexie were constantly battling to fill its vacancy.

"Amber's going to have an aneurism when she hears that you decided to regain consciousness right after she left. She and Lexie have been here pretty much all day every day." She commented.

"Poor kid." Alex spoke empathetically before pushing against the mattress with his hands on either side of him to sit up a little.

"Easy." Meredith cautioned.

"It's alright. I'm high as a kite, it doesn't hurt."

Meredith merely laughed, but didn't bother speaking just yet. She allowed her eyes to travel along Alex's torso, surveying the various cords, tubes, and bandages that seemed to make up his entire left side.

"So Lexie and Amber have been here a lot?" Alex implored.

"Oh yeah." She exhaled in return, as if "a lot' was the understatement of the year. "Lexie's slept here the past three nights and Amber fights tooth and nail to stay past visiting hours."

"You said she was just here?"

"Mark took her home I think, but Lexie should be coming back in a few hours."

"Oh." He answered, his disappointment evident. It wasn't that he wasn't thrilled to have his girlfriend so loyal by his side, but he would have preferred the first person he spoke to upon waking up to be his sister. Meredith was an ample substitute though.

"Don't worry." Meredith urged. She could read his thoughts without pause. "She'll be back the very second she's allowed to."

Alex nodded and sunk back into his pillows, feeling slightly more content. He felt stronger than the first time he woke up. Fighting off the infection was draining energy out of his body at light speed, but it was a healing process. He would be conscious more often now. Hopefully he would be able to speak with Amber the next day.

"Thanks." Alex mumbled suddenly.

"For what?"

"Do I really need to spell it out for you?"

"I was always horrible at spelling." Meredith smirked, not positive where he was heading with this.

Alex groaned. "My sister, Einstein. Thanks for….you know, like looking after her or whatever."

Silence fell over the room as she contemplated this. She supposed she "looked after" Amber…maybe. But then again, her stellar babysitting skills had resulted in a teenage girl standing up to an armed gunman in an attempt to save her life.

"In all honesty, she kind of looked after me." Meredith shrugged.

"She doing okay?"

"I wish I could give you a legitimate answer…but I don't really know." She admitted, somewhat embarrassed. "I've barely seen her. I'm almost always with Derek."

"I understand. It's cool, I'll just ask Lexie when she comes later."

Meredith hesitated slightly. "She probably won't know either. The only time she's seen Amber lately is here."

For a brief moment, Alex felt a wave of irritation. Yes, it was important for Lexie to be by his side. She was being a good girlfriend in that sense, but at the same time….a _great _girlfriend would know that he would rather she keep an eye on Amber. What purpose did it serve for her to sit next to his sleeping body and leave his teenage sister to her own defenses? He knew Amber very well, and if she felt abandoned after enduring such a tragedy….there was no telling how she might react. Things could spiral out of control effortlessly.

"Jackson's taking really good care of her…" Meredith piped up, sensing Alex's discomfort.

"Well that's good at least." He replied, not feeling entirely at ease, but better. Jackson would step up, keep a close watch on her. Amber needed that now. She would miss the female companionship with Lexie and Meredith so preoccupied, but at least he didn't have to worry about her safety.

The room grew quiet again. It wasn't an uncomfortable pause in conversation though. Alex and Meredith knew each other well enough that they didn't always need to speak. Sometimes they could just take solace in the other's company, with or without words.

"What about you?" Alex finally spoke.

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

Meredith sighed. She hated that word…_okay_. What did one being okay actually entail? Her husband and close friend had been shot, her best friend and younger sister traumatized, and as for her…she had been witness. Witness to what she thought was the death of the man she loved, witness to what she thought were the last moments of her own life…witness to the death of her unborn child. She could claim that she was okay, but what did that mean? She hadn't been shot like Derek or Alex, but she had most definitely been wounded.

"I'm still breathing." She settled with at last.

"Yeah, me too." Alex uttered in agreement.

They resumed their comfortable silence after that. Meredith's thoughts drifted back to the wellbeing of her husband and Alex began to imagine how his sister would deal with the aftermath of everything.

"Knock knock." Lexie chirped, poking her head into the room. She smiled warmly at her sister before stepping in.

"That's my cue to leave." Meredith reached out and squeezed Alex's arm. They shared a brief look, a mutual expression that seemed to convey something along the lines of 'I'm glad you're okay.' Neither one of them particularly yearned for anything more emotional than that.

Meredith vanished down the hallway, scurrying back to Derek's room, hoping he hadn't fallen asleep in the time she was gone.

Lexie made her way to Alex's bedside and planted a kiss on his cheek. He scooted over, giddy with the fact that the drugs were allowing him to momentarily move about without pain. He patted the open spot and waited as Lexie lay down beside him.

"Hey." He smiled, not knowing what else to say. It felt like years since he last saw her. Most of his memories following him being shot were either vivid dreams…or blurry images of her face. His anger over her neglect towards Amber quickly faded away.

Lexie couldn't fight the abnormal-sized grin that seemed to overtake her face. She leaned her head against Alex's shoulder and allowed her body to relax. "I really missed your voice."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Jackson reached out his clenched fist to knock on Amber's door, but withdrew it for what was now the third time. He couldn't help but feel that, when it came to dealing with Amber, there was a clearly defined line that he had been overly careful not to cross. On his side of the line, he had created an appropriate mixture of friend and authority figure. The other side, however, was Alex's side. It was the parental side, the side that handled the details. He had been mindful and respectful of that for the past five months, never overstepping. He had no problem calling Amber out for her mistakes and expressing his disappointment, but it was Alex who took care of anything more. Which was the way it should be.

Now, unfortunately, there was no Alex standing on the other side. So what was he meant to do? He knew that Alex wanted him to step up in his absence, but for selfish reasons, that was a difficult step to make. He didn't want his relationship with Amber to change anymore than she did. And if he tried to make the transition, she wasn't going to take it well. But he needed to assert himself. If had a single prayer of surviving Alex's recovery, a line would need to be crossed at one point or another.

At last, his hand made contact with the wooden frame of her door.

"Come in." Her muffled voiced beckoned from the other side.

Jackson grabbed the handle and made his way in without a plan. He was going to have to wing it.

Amber was sitting on her bed, laptop open in front of her. She glanced up at Jackson, but didn't bother to close it. He stared at her for a moment before speaking.

"That was a really unnecessary comment earlier." He announced. "The whole...'getting shot' thing."

Amber rolled her eyes, not taking any measures to hide it. "It was an accurate one."

"Don't do that." He cut her off. "I'm allowed to be overprotective right now. It's been three days Amber…three days. If I don't want you to leave the house, you'll just have to suck it up, deal with it, and trust that I have my reasons."

"Your reasons are probably lame." She retorted, pushing the envelope as far as she could. Of course Jackson had his reasons. Amber actually understood that much…what she didn't understand was why she felt so angry at him for acting upon them. A cloud of fury seemed to engulf her body in its entirety lately. She was angry at everyone, including herself…especially herself.

Jackson sucked in a deep breath. He didn't have any desire to fight with her. They were both hurting, her more so than him. Therefore, he was taking that into account as she hurled disrespectful comments in his direction. It took an impressive amount of patience and willpower on his part to reign in his temper. "I'm just trying to look after you like your brother asked and I'm doing it the only way I know how to. I can't explain why…and I shouldn't have to. I just need you where I can see you or with people I know I can trust. That's how I'm keeping my promise to Alex."

"Whatever."

Jackson closed his eyes and counted to 5 in his head. Yelling at her wasn't going to get him anywhere. "Just put up with my neurosis for a little while, okay? We'll compromise. Invite Caleb over here tomorrow."

"Too late." Amber spat. "I texted him and told him that you said no, but maybe tomorrow. Turns out he's going hiking with his family….so it was tonight or nothing."

Jackson didn't say anything. He felt bad for her. She was struggling, but he was definitely in over his head at the same time. The major difference between the two of them was that he was giving Amber the benefit of the doubt. She was most certainly not returning the same favor.

"If you had just let me go…" She started up again.

"Amber that's enough." He snapped in a controlled voice. "What do you want me to do? Go back in time and fix it? It's too late now, you'll see him at school on Monday. It's not the end of the world."

"That's not the point." She rejoined. "The point is I could have seen him tonight, but you were being a jerk about it."

Jackson pinched the brim of his nose and lifted his eyes to glare at her. She met him with her own harsh stare, showing no signs of backing down. "Alright Amber." He sighed. "I'm tired, so I'll make this quick. You think I want to be the one bossing you around? I don't. So the ball is in your court now. You can make things really easy and cooperate. You can listen to me without a fight, and things can stay the same."

Amber held her ground, keeping her arms folded firmly across her chest.

"But if you want to keep up this whole 'rebel' act you've got going on…" Jackson continued, his voice shifting into a warning tone. "I'm not going to let you get away with it. I'm going to have to start acting a little less like me and a little more like Alex. So why don't you just…start acting like Amber again, would you?"

Amber's face grew hot at the mention of her brother. She could barely look at Alex, think about him, or hear his name for that matter, without everything rushing back to her in one fowl swoop. More than anything, she kept reliving the helplessness she felt when she knew with absolute certainty that he was hurt and nobody had believed her. She had known all along and done nothing. She stayed with Meredith and Christina like she was told. But since when had she been the kind of girl to follow the rules? Of all times, she chose when her brother was in a life threatening situation to listen to directions? She could have done something more.

"I want to be alone." She muttered, not wanting to respond to Jackson's threat.

A brick wall. That was what Amber resembled the most at this time. No…that was incorrect. Jackson had a feeling he could actually make _more_ progress with a wall than with this girl. "Amber…" Jackson began in an attempt to persuade her to talk with him, but stopped after noticing her body language. She was completely closed off and nothing was going to change that tonight. "Just think about what I said alright?" He requested instead. With that, he offered her a pitiful excuse for a wave before vacating her room and closing the door gently behind him.

Amber collapsed backwards against a pile of stuffed animals. She was thinking about what he said alright, but it was only fueling the fire. He honestly thought that this was her way of rebelling? No, this was a light dusting in comparison to the blizzard she was capable of unleashing.

If he thought she was acting like a rebel…oh, she would give him a rebel.

* * *

><p><strong>VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: The votes are in and I will be breaking up Alex and Lexie. They're going to be together for another few chapters and then I will have some sort of dramatic or mutual break up…haven't decided yet. However, it has come to my attention that several of you are interested in me bringing Izzie back. I need to do some SERIOUS polling before I make this decision, but I am considering it. I need your opinions now more than ever, people! Because I do agree that Alex deserves to be happy. A few of you also suggested I could introduce Jo's character early. I'd even be willing to do an OC. So, what'll it be Grey's fans? How should we give Alex the gift of love? <strong>

For those who asked, don't worry, there will be some Nora in the next chapter! Also I'm thinking about including my first Alex/Jackson scene. I want to begin building the foundation for their bromance. Get excited!


	23. Tensions Are Running High

**Sorry for uploading this twice. Something funky was going on with my doc manager when I was fixing typos so I just removed the whole thing and put it back on. **

**The moment of truth…..dun dun dun dun. My final decision is…IZZIE. *Allow pause for wild celebration* **

**This was probably the hardest decision I have ever made as a writer. And I am SOOOO sorry to the 2-3 of you that reeeeaally didn't want me to bring her back. My hands are kind of tied. It was not a unanimous decision, and an overwhelming amount of people all but begged me for Izzie. **

**I know it isn't what everyone wants, and for that I am truly sorry. For those of you who don't want her, I really hope you will continue reading. I promise to do my best to write it amazingly! I'm also not going to shove her in everyone's faces immediately. It's going to be a semi-long process because obviously, Alex is going to have a very hard time accepting her back in his life, especially with Amber in the picture. So get excited people! I'm not telling you when it will happen though…that will be a surprise. **

**Moving on! So I had a blast writing out the drama for this chapter. For those of you who enjoy Jackson/Amber scenes, I think you will be a fan. **

**And to all those who asked, of course I will put more Mark in. Who doesn't love Mark?**

**WARNING: Lexie is super out of character here. I am doing that on purpose. I really don't think Lexie is the obsessive girlfriend type, but remember that I'm writing these characters a few days after a major trauma. I think plenty of people would act this way if their boyfriend had just been shot. So don't freak out at me for writing her funny...I need a reason to break them up! **

**Oh one more quick thing. I'm not going to do Alex's whole drama of not wanting to have the bullet removed and Bailey not letting him operate and stuff. I may just skip past the whole psychiatric evaluation entirely. Either way, I mention in this chapter that Alex is having it removed while still at the hospital. That's just what I decided, no offense to the original story line.**

**Enjoy this super long chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"No. Absolutely not. I'm calling bullshit on this one." Mark protested, his eyes flickering back and forth between Derek and Amber. "It's a trick. You two planned it."

"Mark, I understand that you have an abnormally-sized ego, but it _is_ possible for you to lose at something once in a while." Amber teased.

"No. I'm not buying it." He continued to argue. "No 15-year-old can be that good at poker. It's unheard of."

"It's legitimate, Mark. When she was in the hospital, she hustled me out of 30 bucks without even trying…" Derek jumped in.

Amber laughed in triumph before gathering the scattered deck of cards from the center of Derek's tray table and beginning to shuffle. So far, it had been a peaceful day. Meredith had come home around noon to gather a change of clothes before heading back to the hospital, which gave Amber the perfect escape route from the oh-so-vigilant Jackson.

Once she was out of the confines of the house, her spirits began to look up. It had been an okay afternoon, the first one in a while. She did the remainder of her homework in Alex's room until the doctors carted him away for his final procedure. Now that the infection had cleared up and they were weaning him off of most of his medication, it was time to remove the rest of the bullet from his chest, the one lingering remnant of their past tragedy.

After Alex was whisked away, she decided to keep Derek company while Meredith ate lunch with Christina. Derek seemed delighted to see her and Mark even dropped by to kill a little time before heading over to see Callie, Arizona, and Nora.

"Where the hell did you learn to play poker, kid? Some back alley-way in New Orleans?" Mark chided.

Amber giggled and continued to shuffle. "My brother taught me when I was really young actually. It was always five-card-draw, never go-fish. I guess I just had a lot of time to perfect my skills."

"I've seen Alex play poker before…there is no way he taught you and you turned out this good." Derek rejoined.

"Aaron taught me actually. He got the hustling skills, Alex got the brains….I got both." She flashed a teasing smile at Mark. He scowled playfully in return before standing up.

"Alright, well that's my last hand. I'm going to go join Meredith and Christina, I'm starving. But, Alex won't be out for a while, so you could come see Callie and Arizona with me if you want. It might be good for future babysitting business."

"Yeah, that would be fun. Could you drop me back off here afterwards though? I want to see Alex when he wakes up. Lexie said she'd take me home tonight." Amber responded quickly, pleased to do anything that would prolong going home.

"I'll come get you in a little bit. You'll be here?"

"Yep."

Mark smiled before exiting the room. Derek resituated himself until he was comfortable, although his mobility was still extremely limited. They were silent for a short period of time. With Mark out of the room, the mood seemed to shift somewhat.

"So I heard that you made a rather bold move the day everything went down." Derek spoke, now that he finally had the young girl alone.

"Meredith told you?"

"Christina actually…I don't think Meredith likes to think about it."

"Jackson says it was reckless and stupid, but Clarke was going to shoot her." Amber informed him quietly. "I wasn't just going to hide."

"I don't know if I would call it stupid….reckless, maybe. Probably a result of your under-developed frontal lobe." He poked fun, attempting to make light of the situation.

"Be more of a nerd." She heckled in response.

"Not possible."

"I keep wondering if I made things worse though…" Amber's demeanor turned serious. "Like, Owen got shot after I spoke up. So if Clarke wasn't going to actually kill Meredith, I basically got someone shot for no reason. I couldn't help Alex. I just wanted to do somethi-." Amber stopped speaking suddenly, realizing that she had likely disclosed far too much information. "I don't know why I'm telling you this…you don't need the extra stress."

"Oh, please." He dismissed her concerns. "I'm fine, you can tell me anything you want. And as far as I'm concerned…you weren't the man with the gun. You didn't get anyone shot."

"Thanks." She said softly. "So how are you feeling?"

"Stronger every day. I'm just ready to get out of here."

Amber opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by her cell phone beginning to go off. She groaned, knowing exactly who was calling. Glancing down, she saw 'Jackson' appear across her screen and her thoughts were confirmed. "Hello…" She answered, not too kindly.

"Where the hell are you?" His voice was so loud that the sound was somewhat distorted over the line.

Amber held the phone a few inches away from her ear. "Easy there. You were in the shower. I left you a note. Go check the kitchen counter."

She heard a sigh, followed by loud footsteps as Jackson went to verify her story. After finding the note he refocused his attention back on her. "Just shout through the door next time." He growled. "I thought you were in your room. It freaked me out when I saw you weren't there. Don't just leave the house without asking."

"Would you lay off?" She spat. "You knew I was going to the hospital. I've only been doing it _every single day_."

"Amber…" He started.

"I mean, you only _let_ me go to the hospital or home. There are a very limited set of places I might have gone." Amber cut him off. She was about to continue, but upon noticing the look that Derek was giving her, she thought it best to back down.

"But whatever…I'm sorry for freaking you out and I'll shout to you next time." She tacked on, not very convincingly.

"Just make sure you're home by 6:00. Lexie is going to take you."

"But…"

"You've got school tomorrow. Be home by 6:00. Oh, and you might want to hurry up and fix that attitude of yours because I'm really at my wits end here, Amber."

"Alright, fine."

"Bye."

Amber hung up without returning his goodbye. She then looked up nervously at Derek, knowing that he would never understand the tension between her and Jackson.

"Who was that girl talking on the phone just now? Because I know that wasn't Amber Karev." He questioned, looking at her peculiarly.

Amber slouched in her seat. "You wouldn't get it."

"I'm the nerd. Of course I will."

She paused momentarily, debating exactly what she wanted to tell him. "He's just…I don't know…acting like he's in charge of me and stuff."

"But he is…" Derek argued, as if it were public knowledge.

"That's Alex's job, not his."

"Alex can't be there right now. What did you think was going to happen? That you were just going to do whatever you wanted?"

"I know how to take care of myself." She rebutted, rather defensively.

"I don't think anybody doubts that, but the whole point of you coming to live with your brother was so you wouldn't have to anymore."

"Yeah, but Jackson is basically in protective over-drive. The past four days have been like a prison."

"You need to cut him some slack, Amber." Derek urged her gently. "He's going through a hard time just like you. The only difference is…he has a teenage girl to look after and keep safe. Think about it that way."

Amber exhaled deeply and nodded in return. You just didn't argue with Derek Sheppard, especially if you were his subordinate. It wasn't worth her energy to keep it up. "I'll be nicer to him." She told him, wondering if she actually meant it. It was one thing to say it to Derek, but she had a sinking feeling that it would be a different story entirely when she returned home that evening and had to deal with Jackson face-to-face.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Mark came and retrieved Amber from Derek's room shortly after their conversation about Jackson ended. Despite the irritating nature of the conversation itself, Amber wasn't angry with Derek. Not even a little bit. It was just his personality, the kind that harbored the intense desire to always dish out advice to someone else. She could deal with that. At least he didn't act upon it in an overbearing fashion.

Now she sat on Callie and Arizona's couch, bouncing Nora softly on her lap, the previous conversation becoming a distant memory.

"Be careful…watch her bandage." Arizona fretted from the opposite seat. They were currently on a trial period with Nora. She could only spend Friday through Sunday with them for the next three weeks. If everything went as planned, her permanent custody hearing would be around the same time as Amber's at the end of the month. Therefore, Arizona was as anal as ever, worrying about every possible thing that could go wrong.

"Oh my god, ignore her." Callie told Amber. "She's an overbearing mother."

"Not yet." Arizona reminded her. "Unfortunately, right now I'm just an overbearing doctor. For all I know, a judge may decide that I don't make the cut."

"That's not going to happen." Mark spoke up. "I mean look at how healthy she looks." He gestured to the bubbly child, clapping her hands on Amber's lap. It was true; she was practically glowing with happiness. A few days in a stable, home environment was all it took for her health to begin to increase rapidly. Nora was thriving, beginning to run around more and allowing her curiosity to show. She was starting to act like a normal toddler.

Amber sat the little girl on the ground and watched as she bolted towards a pile of blocks in the center of the rug between the two couches. She began stacking the multi-colored blocks on top of one another before kicking them down and collapsing in a fit of giggles. She then repeated the process again and again. Mark was right. No judge on earth could argue that this toddler belonged anywhere else.

"Arizona, Wendy basically told you that it was a done deal." Callie reminded her wife. "She said this is strictly protocol. Who is going to argue against placing a child with a heart defect in the care of two surgeons?"

"It makes sense when you say it out loud Callie, but what if..."

"But nothing." Mark chimed in as he scooted off the couch to sit on the rug in front of Nora. He reached out for a block and began helping her re-stack the tower, making silly faces each time she looked up. "This little cutie is staying right here."

"He's right Arizona." Amber decided to speak up as well. "If social services could give _Alex _a kid, you really have nothing to worry about."

Callie couldn't help the snort that escaped. Amber's sense of humor mirrored her older brother's almost perfectly.

"The kid has a point." Mark agreed without taking his eyes off of Nora.

"Alright, alright. I surrender." Arizona sighed and shifted her attention back to the rug.

"But seriously….don't worry too much. I've dealt with social services a lot more than I'd like to. So I can tell you from experience that they really do want what's best for the child." Amber offered her opinion timidly.

"Alex was your family though. It's a slightly different situation."

"Yeah but….look, I haven't told many people this so don't go spreading it around." Amber began, stopping briefly to glance at the faces of the surgeons in the room to ensure their disclosure. "I pretty much begged my social worker to send me anywhere but here. I didn't want to live with Alex...I even told her I would prefer foster care."

Amber sucked in a deep breath as she saw the shocked faces blinking back at her. She hated admitting this out loud, especially given how much her feelings about her brother had changed. However, she couldn't deny that she trusted every person in the room with her and she thought it might do Arizona some good to hear her story. The woman clearly didn't have any trust in the system. Amber knew that it had its flaws, but it did bring her to Seattle…and that had changed her life.

"Gertrude kept insisting that she had spoken with my brother and was convinced that he would be the best home for me. I fought her like crazy, but she had made her choice. And look what happened….she was right. These past few months have been the most stable ones of my life. So what I'm getting at is that if you can provide Nora with a good home, which obviously you can, they're going to give you custody."

The room grew silent, and for a moment Amber feared she had said too much. She had never been the kind of girl to express her feelings out loud. In fact, she didn't know what possessed her to do so now. Maybe it had been a severe error in judgment.

Her fears were suppressed, however, as she saw the warm grin that slowly traveled across Arizona's face.

"Now you see Callie…" Arizona spoke, pointing in Amber's direction. "That is how you calm down an overbearing mother."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Mark and Amber walked back into Seattle Presbyterian an hour later. Arizona seemed a lot more at ease when they left and Mark referred to Amber as a 'miracle worker' the entire ride back to the hospital.

"You have less than an hour before Lexie's coming to get you, so don't forget to wait downstairs by the entrance. Keep an eye on the time." Mark nagged as they walked towards the floor that held her brother.

"I know, I know." She drawled, smirking in amusement at Mark's recent behavior.

"And call me if anything comes up."

"Nothing's going to go wrong, but your number is programmed into my cell phone right where I left it…"

Mark started to speak again, but they were cut off as a familiar nurse stepped right in front of them. "You're Dr. Karev's sister?"

"Yes." Amber answered, suddenly feeling short of breath. Had something gone wrong with the procedure? Was he in a coma? Was he dead?

"He's awake and asking for you." The nurse replied with a smile.

Amber's jaw dropped to the floor and she glanced up at Mark, her eyes bright with excitement.

"Go ahead." He chuckled.

She waited for no further instruction before taking off sprinting down the hallway. She ignored the confused stares she was receiving from all she passed, not caring how crazy they thought she must be.

As she reached her brother's room at last, Amber burst in and threw herself onto his bed, landing with a thud at his side. Before Alex could even identify who was in front of him, Amber had thrown her arms around him.

"Amber." Alex laughed lightly, realizing who it was. He placed a hand on the back of her head and held him against her for a moment.

"Finally!" She shouted in exuberance as she pulled back and took a good look at him. His face seemed to have more color. He looked a lot stronger.

"Time has not been on our side, eh kiddo?"

"Not at all." She agreed vibrantly. "Your sleep schedule seemed to like Lexie and Meredith a lot more than me."

"If I had any say in it, I would have spent all that time with you." He responded.

"I was still here every day."

"Every day?" He asked, trying to hide just how much that meant to him.

"Of course! As much as your dumb doctors would allow. I argued with them about it a lot…I don't think they like me very much."

"That's not true." He laughed, rubbing her arm. A long pause followed before he looked back down at his sister. He wanted to make sure that he hadn't misheard her. "You were really here every day?"

"Yeah. I told you stories and stuff."

"Oh, yeah?" Alex smiled, marveling at his sister's cuteness. He chastised himself internally for being so affected by it. He wasn't supposed to be this much of a softy. A tough exterior was kind of his thing. However, he couldn't always keep that up with Amber. "What kind of stuff?"

"Stuff from when I was a kid….like when I put that snake in the bathtub."

"Don't you mean _Cupcake_?" He teased.

"You remember what I named him?"

"How could I forget that day?" Alex grimaced at the thought. "I went to take a shower and 'Cupcake' about sent me into cardiac arrest."

"Yeah, well you made sure I knew that. You yelled at me for like an hour straight."

"Wow, exaggerate much?" He replied with a smirk. "Cupcake wasn't even the worst of it. Remember the time your box of crickets got loose? _That time_ I might have yelled for an hour straight."

"I almost forgot about that!" She exclaimed. "That was when you gave me my nickname."

"Bug." They recalled simultaneously.

"You still remember." Amber said incredulously. She assumed Alex had forgotten, given he hadn't called her that once since she arrived.

"Yeah, of course I do. I just didn't want to call you something from when you were a kid and remind of you of all the shit you went through."

"I don't mind." She announced shyly.

"Good, it fits you….tiny and creepy."

Amber made eye contact with her brother and the two began to laugh, long and hard. By the time the giggling faded, a comfortable silence took over the room as Alex grew lost in his thoughts. Maybe it wasn't that horrible of a thing to let himself reveal his softer side around Amber every now and then. Well, as long as nobody else was around to witness it. He had a reputation to uphold.

Amber allowed her eyes to travel down Alex's side, glancing at the bulge of his gown where his dressings resided. "Does it hurt?" She implored, breaking the silence.

"Nah, not really." He shrugged, attempting to seem tough for her.

Amber sighed and turned her attention to the wall.

"I can't believe you were there in the hospital the whole time…" Alex breathed, recalling the few memories he had of that horrid day.

"I'm glad I was." She admitted. "Somehow I think it would have been worse if I heard about it while I was at school. I would have been stuck looking in from the outside…waiting for some incompetent police officer to tell me who was alive."

"Yeah, well it almost makes me glad that I got shot." Alex said half-jokingly. "If I had been conscious enough to know that you were there...I don't know what I would have done. I mean, stuck in a room somewhere, unable to come get you and make sure you were safe. I might have lost it."

"I just wish it never happened." She whispered.

"You and I both, bug."

Amber grinned before grabbing Alex for another hug. "I'm really glad you're alive." She proclaimed, her voice muffled against his arm.

"Someone has to be around to keep you on track. You know, make sure you don't become a delinquent."

"Hey!" She protested, withdrawing and making a face.

"Kidding."

"I know. Delinquency isn't really my style anyways. You should be more concerned about me become a Vegas hustler. I got Mark for $20 earlier today."

"Nice!" He laughed before throwing on a mock-serious face. "Allow me to rephrase. Someone has to be around to make sure you don't become a dirty hustler with a gambling problem."

"Much better."

The two laughed once more and Amber felt herself begin to relax for the first time in what had to have been several weeks. She didn't think she had felt entirely at ease since well before her incident with Aaron. Sitting here now with Alex, knowing that he was alive and was getting better, she could finally breathe. She glanced up at the clock apprehensively, remembering Mark's advice.

"I should head down to the entrance. Jackson says I have to be home by 6:00 because I have school tomorrow. Lexie's picking me up." She told her brother bitterly.

"Do I sense some tension?"

"No." Amber lied.

"Do what he says, Amber." Alex dictated, lowering his voice. "It sounds like he is doing exactly what I asked him to. Don't give him a hard time."

"Alright." She groaned. "But can I come by right after school tomorrow?"

"I'd be insulted if you didn't." He joked before reaching out and pulling her back against him. It just didn't seem like they could hug enough, as girly as that sounded. He couldn't help but take full advantage of the fact that she was right in front of him. He hadn't thought he would get that opportunity again. "Ok, get out of here."

"See you tomorrow."

Alex pecked her cheek before she got up. "I'll be waiting. Tell Jackson hey for me."

Amber grudgingly carried herself to the front entrance where she proceeded to wait at least another 15 minutes. Lexie wasn't answering her phone and she quickly grew irritated. She texted Jackson and let him know that her ride was late so he wouldn't be mad when she wasn't home right at 6:00. That was the last thing she needed.

Finally, she got fed up with waiting and dialed Christina.

"Hello?" Christina sounded somewhat worried upon answering, different from her usual phone voice. It was as if everyone figured a phone call from Amber at this time meant something was wrong with Alex.

"Hey Christina." She attempted to sound somewhat cheerful so she wouldn't think anyone had died. "Are you still at Seattle Presbyterian?"

"No, why? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong. It's just Lexie forgot to pick me up and she isn't answering her phone. I figured I would see if you were still here before I call Jackson."

"I'm not there, but don't call Jackson. I'll come get you."

"You don't need to do that."

"It's not like I live on the moon, kid." Christina interjected. "It's a five minute drive. I can take you home."

"I would really appreciate it."

"I'll be there in a few. Don't move, alright?"

"Okay. Thanks Christina." She answered.

"Don't mention it."

Amber hung up the phone and sighed. When had she become so invisible?

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber returned home 20 minutes later, her good mood fading by the minute.

For some reason, the only people that seemed to really notice her lately were Jackson and Mark. She hadn't really known Mark all that well before the shooting, but she was enjoying his company the last few days. He had a very caring side to him that she wouldn't have expected. More so, he seemed willing, if not eager, to lend a helping hand in any way he could. She appreciated that.

Her bad mood, however, was coming from the lack of attention from Lexie and the over-attention from Jackson. Meredith at least made an effort to spend what little free time she had talking with Amber. She wasn't exactly a cheery person lately, but she still stopped in the hallway for short chats, they got lunch together at the hospital, and she paid a visit to Amber's room whenever she was home. Lexie, on the other hand, was a ghost. When she wasn't with Alex, she was catching up on medical journals, or buying things for Alex, or talking to Alex's doctors, or reading about Alex's form of infection. She didn't know how her brother could stand it, Lexie's newfound obsessive behavior.

Then there was Jackson…..but that was self-explanatory.

Amber shoved her way through the back door and entered the kitchen. Jackson was shoving a tray into the oven, a familiar red-head at his side.

Her sour mood immediately plummeted further into the depths. She could not stand April Kepner, at least not after everything that had happened. Amber was 15-years-old, she was technically still a child…and yet, somehow she had handled the shooting better than a grown woman could. Yes, April found her friend's body, but Amber had seen things too. At least she hadn't put anyone at risk in the process.

"Hey there." Jackson greeted, turning around and throwing on his best smile.

"Hi Amber!" April chirped.

"What's _she_ doing here?" Amber asked accusingly, narrowing her eyes at April in disapproval.

Jackson's welcoming grin vanished in an instant. He raised an eyebrow and sent a clear warning glance in Amber's direction, silently demanding her to alter her tone. Amber spitefully chose to ignore the look. Jackson wasn't her brother, he wasn't Alex; he couldn't keep ordering her around and not expect a fight in return.

"_April_ is here to keep me company. It's been pretty quiet here lately…I thought it would be fun to have her over for dinner. I'm sure you could use some female companionship."

"Don't pretend like you did this for me, Jackson." She spat, pronouncing his name as if it were two separate words. April was a sorry substitute for Meredith and Lexie. "I think it's you who wants the _companionship_. If that's what they're calling it these days…"

Jackson's nostrils flared in anger and April took a step back, not wanting to be caught in the middle of Amber's lashing out. Although the girl was being flat out disrespectful, she still felt a powerful surge of pity for her. After all, her brother had been shot. It seemed normal that she would act out, especially when most of her actions could slip past the radar unnoticed.

"I think you need to take a step back and remember who the adults are in this room." Jackson cautioned. "You want to start over and try having a respectful conversation with us?"

"With the girl who got Derek shot?" Amber scoffed. "No thanks, I'm good."

April's eyes sprang open in shock and she had to physically grab the counter behind her to keep from falling over. She looked to Jackson, wondering what he would say as she stood frozen, still reeling from the young girl's comment.

"Amber Karev." He snapped, his voice ice cold. He wasted no time in grabbing her by the arm and yanking her into the hallway with him. Kneeling down slightly, he allowed his face to get dangerously close to hers before speaking in a terrifyingly low tone. "Listen here. I don't care how hard of a time you're having right now. You better hope that I never hear you speak to someone like that _ever_ again."

Amber yanked her arm out of his hold instinctively. She knew that what she said had been incredibly cruel, but on a certain level, she felt that it was true. If April could have kept her shit together, Derek would be okay right now and it would be one less person in her life she would have to worry about. Either way, Jackson's facial expression was beyond livid and Amber knew what he expected her to do. It didn't need to be vocalized, and quite frankly, she was afraid of what might happen if she offered anything other than compliance. Taking a deep breath, Amber swallowed her pride before poking her head back into the kitchen and forcing out what she hoped sounded like a sincere apology.

"April, that was wildly insensitive and I hope you can forgive me…I didn't mean it. I'm just upset about Alex and Derek."

"It's okay." April replied weakly, still somewhat taken aback. "It's a hard time for everyone…I know you didn't mean it."

_If you only knew_. Amber thought to herself sourly before throwing a fake smile at April and dragging her feet back into the hallway. She glanced up at Jackson upon her arrival and waited for him to either storm off angrily, or begin yelling. He didn't do either though. Instead, he stared at her, long and hard like someone desperately attempting to read her mind.

"What are you doing, kid?" He inquired, sounding exhausted. He looked down at her again, observing skeptically as if she were a complex equation that he simply didn't have the knowledge or experience to solve. Then again, maybe she was. He hadn't single handedly raised two younger siblings the way Alex had. He hadn't taken in a teenage girl with nowhere else to go…he had merely helped. Alex had made it look far too easy. Jackson suddenly found himself marveling at how her older brother managed being a full-time parent to her.

"I thought we came to an agreement about this rebellion thing." He added.

Amber only shrugged. She had nothing to say to Jackson. She could admit that she was pushing his buttons a little bit on purpose. It wasn't that she was trying to make him mad. It was just that she was hurting so badly…she needed to hurt someone else to lessen the pain.

Jackson waited to see if she would offer him a better explanation, one that warranted forgiveness. When she said nothing in return, he finally gave up. "Just go to your room." He ordered.

"You can't tell me what to do!" She protested, the volume of her voice increasing dramatically.

"You wanna bet?" He shot back. "Alex isn't here. I am. You're fifteen. You don't get to call the shots."

She glared up at him harshly, feeling rage course through her veins at the mention of her older brother's name. Obviously Alex wasn't here…that was the reason she was acting like this to begin with. She wanted her brother…couldn't he see that?

"Go to your room." He repeated, lifting an arm and pointing down the hallway. His other hand rested firmly on his hip in a showcase of authority. "And get comfortable."

Amber didn't say anything else. It wasn't worth the fight. She just wanted the night to come and go so she could get out of this house.

Jackson watched angrily as she stalked down the hallway. He waited until her door slammed before stomping back into the kitchen. He looked up weakly at April who sent him a sympathetic look. He sighed and walked back to the stove. Who was he kidding? He needed Alex. They both did.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Hey you!" Lexie announced cheerfully as she made her way into Alex's room that evening. He just stared at her in return. There was no warmth to his expression at all. He looked pissed, maybe even hurt.

"Is something wrong?" She inquired nervously.

"You _forgot_ my sister?" He asked, his tone baffled. Christina had told Meredith who had told him a short while ago. Needless to say, he had been sitting in bed fuming ever since. Neglecting her for the first few days after a tragedy was understandable, but forgetting her entirely?

"Oh my god!" Lexie gasped, placing a hand over her mouth. "I completely forgot!"

"Hence the phrase: you _forgot_ my sister."

"Alex, I'm so sorry. I was meeting with a board member of Seattle Grace Mercy West about your transfer." He stared back at her blankly. "Just like you asked me to…" She added for good measure.

"So you couldn't tell someone else to pick her up? She stood outside for 20 minutes for crying out loud! She called you five times!"

"I'll talk to her and apologize! I would never intentionally blow her off Alex. You know that, right?"

"I know that." He sighed. "But…you're too wrapped up in this whole 'girlfriend' thing."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that if you're with me, my family is just as important as I am. I shouldn't have to question whether I can count on you with Amber."

"I know my relationship with Amber has been rocky in the past." Lexie began to defend herself frantically. "But we've been working on it. I think we're really making progress. This was just a tiny mishap."

"I'm not saying you don't care about her." Alex corrected himself. "I'm saying that…I can't help but think that everything seemed to run more smoothly when we _weren't_ in a relationship."

"Alex don't talk like that..."

"Calm down. I'm not breaking up with you or anything." He replied, a little more harshly than he meant to. "I just need some space for a day or two. Can you give me that?"

Lexie looked down, attempting to reign in her emotions. She felt horrible. She hadn't intended to leave Amber. The last thing she wanted to do was damage their relationship anymore, especially when they were just starting to repair things. However, she couldn't help but disagree with Alex slightly. Yes, it was important to pay attention to his sister, but it was Alex that she was dating, not his family. Alex had been through a tragedy, and in her mind, it made plenty of sense that she devote the majority of her time to him. Meredith was doing the same thing with Derek.

"Yes…I can give you time." She answered softly, feeling somewhat hurt.

"Just spend some time at home or something. I'll be fine. Show everyone else that you haven't forgotten about them."

Lexie collected her things slowly. It felt odd to be kicked out by her boyfriend, the one person who should want her to stay. As she bid him goodbye and walked out the door, she had to wonder…could they get past this?

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Jackson paced outside Amber's door restlessly. He couldn't help but wonder if this was the result of some form of karmic energy. He had spent so many nights chuckling from the living room watching Alex do the exact same thing. He could recall finding it silly, wondering why on earth Alex appeared to be intimidated by his little sister. "Grow a pair and go in." He used to tease him, not realizing how hard of a task it really was. Now, he understood it completely. It wasn't fear of Amber; it was fear of the situation. It was the fear of having no idea of how to handle something, but knowing that you are expected to handle it nonetheless.

Jackson was at a crossroads with this kid. He had never been in the position where he had to punish her before. And now that he had crossed that line, he hadn't the slightest clue what his next step was. He obviously couldn't leave her in there all night and it had already been well over two hours. 'Go talk to her,' April had directed him. That sounded like an okay plan to him, but how? He would have been content to just forget everything and hope that they both pretended nothing happened in the morning. Unfortunately, he didn't have the privilege of doing so anymore.

He had sent April to collect her for dinner maybe 30 minutes after the initial fight. Amber had of course refused and requested to eat in her room. April brought her a plate and they hadn't heard from her since. Jackson knew she was waiting for him to make the first move. That made sense…he was the adult after all.

He had tried twice now and failed, running away from her door like a dog with its tail between its legs. What was he supposed to say? He was a man of many options. He could barge in and lay down the law, tell her exactly how things were going to go and what was going to happen if she couldn't deal with it. He could also take a gentle approach, attempt to empathize and reason with her to make her understand the absurdity of her attitude lately. The major problem was…Jackson couldn't envision either approach working with someone like Amber. So how could he compose a happy medium?

If only things could be more like a sit-com. If only he could magically know exactly what she needed to hear, walk into her room, and have some sort of glorious heart-to-heart that would end in tears and restitution. Amber wasn't that kind of girl though and he was not that kind of guy.

At last, Jackson knocked on her door. He didn't know what he was going to say, and to be honest, he didn't care. This wasn't about him. This was about a young girl who desperately needed to know that someone cared enough to keep her off of the path of destruction. He was just going to have to overcome his insecurities for both of their sakes.

There was no answer to the knock, and after several unanswered attempts, Jackson grew frustrated and opened her door without invitation. Suddenly it didn't matter that he had no idea what to say. He had been granted more time to think because Amber…well, she was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you guys enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. After doing the shooting for so long, it's sooo nice to be back to my own creative story-lines. If there is anything anyone would like to see, please let me know! I'm always open for suggestions. <strong>

**Thanks for reading! xxMaddie **


	24. Need You Now

**Ugh guys, I'm really really sorry! I know I'm not the slowest updater on this website, but I've got to be pretty darn close. Unfortunately, these past few weeks have been some of the busiest of my life.**

**For those of you in college or who have been to college, I'm sure you understand how mid-March and April tend to be. Professors panic that they haven't completed their syllabus yet and then pile you with work to compensate. That's pretty much what I'm going through currently.**

**Considering I'm a Journalism major, my work is constantly writing and writing and writing. So sometimes I can't get excited to spend my 2 or 3 free hours of the day writing even more. I could force myself to write it, but I don't want the quality to suffer because you guys deserve my absolute best. So I hope you understand my decision to wait until things calmed down. It looks like I have a short lull before the madness starts up again.**

**I appreciate your patience, and summer is right around the corner!**

**This chapter is basically all Amber/Alex/Jackson. It's kind of like the resolution chapter to all the fighting that's been going on. I'm going to do a small time skip next chapter which will place everyone back working at the hospital. So don't worry, I'll have a wider variety of characters coming up.**

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Jackson's initial instinct was to panic. He had lost a kid. Alex trusted him with his little sister, possibly the most important thing in his life, and Jackson had lost her. For some reason, he had been blind enough to assume that in sending Amber to her room…she might actually _stay_ there.

_Okay, calm down. Calm down, you can figure this out. _Jackson tried to soothe himself as he spun in circles, hoping that Amber would pop out at any moment and admit that it was a joke. The room remained still and silent, however, and Jackson took notice of the open window next to her bed. It was official, he had lost the kid.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Hi…" Amber spoke very cautiously, making her way into Alex's room. It was 9:00 at night, and it was going to be pretty obvious that she didn't have permission to be at the hospital.

"Amber?" Alex asked, perturbed. He pushed himself upright and winced slightly.

"Careful."

"What the heck are you doing here?" He squinted and glanced up at the clock. "Did Jackson bring you?"

"Not exactly…" She parried.

"Well, do you want to _exactly_ tell me what you are doing here then?"

Amber shuffled her feet a few steps and came farther into the room.

Alex stared at her harshly, the same way he always did when trying to weaken her resolve. It didn't take much to get a confession out of her. Usually a stern look was more than enough.

"I just needed you." She responded, barely above a whisper.

Alex's tough exterior crumbled at the pitiful sound of her voice. Each word was laced with hurt, fear, and several other emotions he couldn't quite decipher.

"Come on….sit down." He sighed.

Amber took a seat in the chair next to his bed, avoiding eye contact at all costs. She hugged her purse tightly to her chest and fiddled with a lose button on one of the side pockets.

"Amber." He beckoned her attention. She allowed her eyes to flicker to his face in response. Thankfully, he didn't look mad anymore. The level of concern plaguing his features, however, increased her guilt exponentially. Alex shouldn't have to worry about her…but she needed him nonetheless. "Talk to me, kid."

Amber took a deep breath. _Where to start?_ That was the question of a lifetime. She was incapable of understanding her own emotions. That was basically what it boiled down to. The perpetual anger, the looming sadness, the constant need to over-analyze everything…she didn't want to revert back to that. Not again. But, how to ask for help, she didn't quite know how to do that either.

"I don't even know exactly why I came here." She stalled. "I had to leave. I couldn't be there anymore…and for some reason the only place I wanted to go was here."

"Well you're here now." Alex offered gently, unsure how to coax her into spilling her guts. "But I haven't been around. So in order for me to help you, you're going to have to tell me what's been going on first."

"Have you ever gotten yourself into such a bind that the only thing you can think of to do is run away?"

"It's me you're talking to." Alex responded with a smirk.

Amber gave him a sad smile and turned her attention to the floor. "I just didn't know where else to go."

"What could you have possibly done that was so bad that you had to leave?" He questioned, slightly more accusingly than before. His heart hurt for his little sister. He hated to see her wracked with such turmoil, but he still wasn't thrilled with her running off to see him.

"I've been horrible." Amber divulged quietly. "Just god awful….angry, disrespectful, closed off."

"To who?"

"Jackson mostly." She admitted. "I've been taking everything out on him because for some reason, everything he does infuriates me lately. And I don't understand it; I don't know why I hate everyone right now. I don't know why I _want_ to be like this…but I've been doing it by choice, you know?"

Alex stared at his little sister for a moment, lost in thought. Amber braced herself for some type of lecture. She waited for him to give her the same spiel that Derek had: that he couldn't be around right now and she was going to have to made due and listen to those who were. What she didn't expect, on the other hand, was the chuckle that finally escaped his mouth. She glanced up at her older brother in confusion.

"It's bittersweet, Amber…how alike we are." Alex said, shaking his head. "I don't really want you to be anything like me, but I can't deny that it makes it easier to figure you out sometimes."

"So now you have me figured out?" She entreated.

"That's no small task." He replied proudly . "But yeah, I think I actually do. You're so much like me it's scary sometimes."

Amber stared at him dubiously, not sure what this meant or whether it was a good thing.

"It's like sometimes you get so tired of feeling hurt to the point that you just want someone else to feel it too. Obviously it doesn't lessen your own pain…but you kind of trick yourself into thinking that it does."

Amber didn't reply.

"Does that sound at all familiar?"

She slouched in her seat, symbolizing to Alex that he had been correct. "More so than I'd care to admit."

"Unfortunately, nature beat out nurture on that one. It's a classic Karev trait. Sorry that you got stuck with it."

"Lucky me." Amber exhaled and welcomed the silence that followed. Her thoughts became consumed by her actions the past few days. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that Alex was right.

"So what happens now?" She looked up at Alex pleadingly, hoping that he would have an answer…and answer that didn't involve going home.

"Are you ready to call Jackson and tell him where you are?" He prodded. "I'm sure he already knows…but I'm sure it would be better if you told him yourself instead of him showing up and busting you."

"Not yet…" She muttered.

Alex chuckled. "You're going to have to face him sooner or later."

"I brought you something." Amber announced quickly, wanting to cut her brother off before he forced her to make the call. She would rather do it on her own volition.

"What's that?"

Amber jammed her arm into her tote bag and reemerged with a medium-sized, stuffed penguin. It's once black, plush coat had faded into a charcoal grey. Loose threads stuck out from all sides, its right flipper was frayed around the edges, and there was a long scratch down one of the black-beaded eyes.

"Pengy?" Alex questioned with a light laugh. Amber held it out and he accepted it, turning it over in his hands to get a better look. "This little guy has seen better days."

"I thought he could keep you company. I figured you should know that I kept him…"

"I honestly thought you would have burned it or something." Alex admitted, avoiding her stare. He paused and swallowed the lump in his throat. "After what I did."

"It was all I had left of you." She whispered. "I thought about throwing him away all the time, but I just couldn't do it."

That sentence was a thousand tiny daggers to Alex's heart. However, as much as it hurt him, it was a good sign. Amber was talking; she was opening up to him…something that rarely happened. Maybe she was having a little bit of trouble with the present, but at least she had finally stopped pretending that the past never occurred.

He looked down at the damn stuff animal, its taunting, sewn-on smile staring back at him mockingly. It was an overwhelming reminder of how good of a brother he once was, the same person he was trying to become again. It was odd to find a role model in your past self, but in a sense that was what Alex was trying to do. He enjoyed the things he had learned as an adult, the relationships he had built, the skills he had obtained, but it hadn't come for free. In many ways, he needed to get back a large chunk of who he used to be.

Tonight was a milestone, he could feel it. Sure, his little sister had climbed out a window and Jackson was probably going to murder her later that night…that part he wasn't too happy with. But at the same time, it felt like a win. Amber was scared, sad, and confused, and she had come to _him_. Not Meredith, not Jackson, not Derek, but _him_. She had longed for his advice and comfort so badly that she was willing to get herself in more trouble just to talk to him. How could he not feel at least somewhat accomplished?

Alex glanced up at his sister. Her sad eyes seemed to cast a shadow down her face. She fiddled with the strap on her bag as her focus switched between her feet and her brother's hands. Alex glanced down at the penguin once more.

"What is this?" He asked, taking notice of the jagged line of blue string that circled below the smiling animal's head. "Practicing your sutures?"

"No." She laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. "I sort of got mad and…cut off his head when you didn't call me back on my 13th birthday. I sewed it back on a few days later."

"Yeah, you're definitely a Karev." Alex informed, glancing at his sister in surprise. "We deal with our pain in extremes."

"That's the truth."

"Kind of like what you've been doing lately?" He inquired, narrowing his eyes slightly. "Don't you think you've been feeling everything in extremes?"

"Yeah…kind of."

"Well, then my advice to you – and I hope you take it, because it's something that I didn't learn until recently – is to figure out a way to control it….before you mess things up. You have a good thing going here, bug. There are a lot of people who love you. You just have to let them."

"How do I make it stop though?" She asked him timidly.

"Make what stop?"

"My feelings…the anger and sadness and stuff. All of the things that I don't even know why I'm feeling them."

"Well, I think that's your answer." Alex advised.

"Huh?"

"I think you need to figure out _why_ you're so mad and who or what you're mad at, because I highly doubt it's Jackson."

Amber sighed, but nodded in understanding. It made sense, it really did. So how did she stop being mad at herself?

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Jackson flew down the hallways of Seattle Presbyterian, cursing himself for not thinking of this sooner. He had spent the last half hour placing calls to Caleb and Amber's friends from school. It wasn't until he'd basically called everyone she knew that it occurred to him Amber had probably gone to the hospital.

He came to the center floor and was relieved to find Meredith escorting Derek down the hall for an evening walk. He sped over to the couple, coming to a screeching halt inches away from slamming into them.

"Have you seen Amber?" Jackson practically shouted at Meredith, about thirty seconds shy of completely losing it. "I thought she was in her room, but…"

"Yeah, she's with Alex." Meredith cut him off, sounding somewhat confused. She glanced at her husband who shrugged in return. It didn't seem that odd to her to find Amber at her brother's bedside, she just assumed someone had dropped her off. It hadn't occurred to her that the Amber was on the lamb.

"Oh, thank god." Jackson sighed with extreme relief before taking off down the hallway without giving Meredith or Derek the chance to say anything else. He stopped abruptly outside of Alex's room. He could hear Amber speaking quietly, although he couldn't make out exactly what she was saying. He was almost positive he heard his name somewhere.

This was the last straw for him. He had to stop being so timid with her. She was only a kid after all. Why was he continually walking on egg shells? Determined to end the tension between them once and for all, Jackson puffed up his chest and side-stepped his way inside.

"I thought I might find you here." He spoke from behind Amber, leaning against the doorway that led into the hospital room. He was trying to play it cool, to come across like the confident authority figure who knew Amber's every move all along. Truth be told, however, he had no idea what he was doing. He usually just followed Alex's lead. Having to worry about this kid on his own was wholly different.

Amber craned her next slowly to look her visitor in the face. Her expression deflated upon realizing that it was Jackson. "Uh oh…" She mumbled. "Busted."

"Yeah, busted is right." Jackson agreed, crossing his arms. "What the hell were you thinking, running off like that? Do you have any idea how worried I was?"

Alex glanced back and forth between the two of them. He briefly considered saying something to back up Jackson, to agree with him so that Amber would know this was serious, but thought better of it in the end. This was Jackson's battle, not his.

Amber shrugged. "I was sick of fighting…and I just needed to see my brother."

That was the only explanation she was willing to give for the time being. She knew she was most likely in trouble, but she didn't feel like pouring her heart out to Jackson either. What was she supposed to say? 'You were prancing around the house acting like my parent and it made me miss Alex and his overbearing tendencies?' Nope, somehow that didn't quite fit.

"So you ask me to take you to see him. You _do not_ leave the house without permission. Understood?"

Amber nearly cringed at the tone of his voice. He sounded so much like Alex that she had to quickly glance over at the bed to make sure it wasn't actually her brother speaking.

"Understood?" Jackson repeated, louder and more forcefully.

Amber snuck a peak at her brother's expression, anxious that he might join in at any moment and she would have to fend off both of them.

Alex raised an eyebrow at his sister. "I think Jackson is waiting for an answer."

"Yes." Amber replied meekly. "I understand."

Jackson glanced to Alex, noticing his presence fully for the first time. He looked somewhat pleased, and Jackson felt relief in knowing that he hadn't overstepped. He was acting the way Alex wanted him to.

"I think you two should talk." Alex asserted calmly from his bed.

Amber's heart dropped as Jackson nodded in agreement. She had been dreading this moment and it had finally arrived.

"Why don't you wait for me outside?" Jackson asked, although there was no way it could be mistaken for an actual question. He pointed to a bench along the side of the hallway. "I'll be there in a minute."

Amber collected her belongings as quickly as she could. The air in the room felt stiff, filled with disappointment and awkward tension. She placed a quick peck on Alex's cheek and he gave her a one-armed hug before she scurried into the hallway without so much as looking at Jackson.

Once she was out of the room and Jackson made sure she went where she was told, he flopped into the chair that sat at Alex's bedside.

"I take it things haven't been that easy?" Alex teased.

"You think?" Jackson scoffed.

"Yeah, she can be a handful."

Jackson nodded and slid a hand down his face. He wanted to have a conversation with Alex, but he couldn't figure out how to begin it. The words seemed to be coming to him all scrambled up, like one of those puzzles you might find in a magazine. He was far too frazzled to accurately piece them back together at this point.

"Can I ask you something?" He finally questioned timidly. It was something that had been on his mind for a while now. Alex might not even remember enough to give him a complete answer, but he still had to try.

"Yeah, what's up?" Alex replied, turning his head to get a better look. It sounded somewhat serious.

"When you asked me if I would look after Amber…." Jackson began, unsure how to proceed with what was on his mind. "Were you talking about while you were in the hospital….or did you think you were going to die?"

Alex thought about it sincerely for a moment. The whole event was fuzzy. However, he could vividly recall his thoughts as he was being pulled into the back of the ambulance. "I thought I was going to die…" He admitted.

"Why me?" Jackson cut in. His suspicions had been verified. Truthfully, he had known all along what Alex had been asking…he just had that feeling. What he couldn't figure out was why. Amber was barely listening to him as it was. Why on earth would Alex choose him? "I mean, why would you ask me? Why not Meredith and Derek?"

"I don't know, dude." Alex shook his head, wondering if he could explain the reasoning behind his decision. "It just needed to be you."

Jackson stopped and attempted to collect his thoughts. He wanted to know more, he needed to ask more questions, but neither he nor Alex was particularly fond of heart-to-hearts, especially with another man. He had to navigate the situation carefully.

"I'm just trying to make sense of it all."

Alex squinted, thinking hard about how to vocalize the feelings that led him to his decision. Sure, he had considered Meredith and Derek. He had known Meredith the longest so it made sense that she would be his first choice. Not to mention, she was in a committed relationship. She could have given Amber a stable, or as stable as Meredith could ever be, home environment. But…he went with his gut, and his gut continually told him Jackson.

"Meredith and Derek make more sense, I know…" He started. "But I don't know man, Amber's not really used to normal, you know what I mean? I think it would be a greater shock if she suddenly had these perfect mom and dad figures."

"So you chose me because I'm less stable than them?" Jackson inquired, crinkling his brow.

Alex couldn't help but laugh. "No, not like that. I chose you because I thought you would take care of her the same way I do…like a brother. I mean, I do act like her dad, but I'm always going to be her brother. I guess I thought if I was going to die, I should leave her with someone who would raise her how I want her to be raised…close to how I would have done it."

Jackson was fully taken aback. It was a compliment of epic proportions, one that he never would have expected to escape the mouth of Alex Karev. "Wow…" He managed to utter. It was all he could say.

"I know I should have asked you first. Obviously I should have seen how you felt about it before I handed you with a responsibility like that, but I didn't really have time…"

"No, of course not." Jackson shook his head. "You thought you were dying. I didn't expect you to ask me about my feelings on the matter."

"I sort of thought you might be okay with it. You have this relationship with her that…I'm jealous of it."

"Jealous? Of my relationship with her? You're her brother."

"Yeah that's the problem. I'm her brother, the brother that left her." Alex informed. "I don't know, man. You've been there for her since the beginning, back when I couldn't because she didn't trust me enough."

"That doesn't mean I would make a good parent." Jackson rejoined. "I've been doing a pretty lousy job."

"Oh please." Alex scoffed. "Raising Amber is like trying to tame a wild horse. If you're still breathing, you're doing an awesome job."

Jackson snorted. It was a fairly accurate analogy. He looked over at Alex for a brief moment and couldn't shake the feeling that they had just gained some type of weird bond. It kind of went without saying that they were probably going to become good friends. Jackson wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that. Alex had never been one of his favorite people, but sitting with him now, it made sense. They lived together, they both cared deeply for Amber, and truth be told, Jackson didn't have many guy friends.

"I would have said yes you know." Jackson spoke up suddenly.

"Huh?"

"I would have taken her….just if you were wondering."

Alex smiled for a moment and leaned back against his pillows before forcing his face to return to a neutral state. Sure, he felt closer to the guy, but he didn't want to get too sappy. Therefore, he would have to approach his next question very carefully.

"This whole thing has got me thinking that I should probably get a will and shit." He stumbled across his words nervously. "So if I get full custody of her in a few weeks, would you care if I put you down as like…the person who takes her if I croak?"

Jackson cracked a grin. "God-brother?" He suggested.

Alex chuckled at the title. He liked the sound of it, something sort of silly. It made the concept sound less dismal than it really was. "God-brother." He confirmed.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Jackson walked next to Amber in silence towards the exit of the hospital without saying a word. He couldn't deny that he wanted to freak her out a little bit, and from what he could recall from his teenage years, silence was a good way to accomplish that. He thought it might do her some good to take a few minutes to sweat it out, to worry about just how angry she had made him. And he was angry…hurt was more like it. They were supposed to be friends, and friends didn't do this to each other.

"Can we just do this now?" Amber begged as politely as possible once they had exited the hospital. "The silence is driving me nuts…I can't stand you being mad at me like this."

Jackson was thankful he was walking slightly in front of her, that way she couldn't see the victorious smirk that flashed across his face for a moment. He spun around with his arms crossed, resuming his 'pissed off' look. "Alright fine. Sit." He commanded, pointing to a bench that lined the walkway to the visitor parking lot. A botanical arrangement decorated the edges and the rushing water of the entrance fountain could be clearly heard.

Amber obediently took a seat and waited for the questions to start flying, looking at the fountain rather than him. Jackson stared at her for several moments, wondering where to begin. "How did you even get here?" He finally decided on.

Amber muttered something that he couldn't make out, clearly nervous to reveal her methods.

"What was that?" He cupped a hand around his ear. "You're going to have to speak up."

"I said…the bus." Amber choked out, louder this time. "I climbed out my window, walked a few blocks over to one of the busier streets, and took the Silver Line to Seattle Pres."

"How many ways can you go wrong in one sentence?" Jackson scoffed.

"I'm sorry…"

"Amber, why would you do this to me?" Jackson spat out angrily, throwing his hands in the air and beginning to pace in front of the bench.

She looked up at him in silence, not sure what he meant by that.

"You don't think I'm having a hard time dealing with the shooting too? I am! Alex and Derek are important to me. They're my friends, and believe me kiddo, I don't like seeing them hurt anymore than you do."

Jackson continued pacing, running a hand down the back of his head in annoyance. Why couldn't she just listen to him? Didn't she understand that like everybody else, he had her best interests in mind? Why did she have to fight him every step of the way? He stopped and stared at her harshly for a moment before continuing.

"And I get that you probably feel alone right now. Meredith is busy with Derek's recovery and Lexie is busy looking after your brother, but you know what? If that's the case, you aren't the only one who is feeling alone right now. I am too. So the least we can do is look after each other, and you seem to be dead-set against that."

"I…" Amber tried to defend herself, but stopped upon realizing that there wasn't much she could say. She had messed up, big time. She had been horrible to Jackson and he had just been trying to help.

"We're supposed to be friends, Amber. And friends are supposed to help each other...not make things worse."

Amber looked down at her feet, suddenly enthralled by her pink Converses. Meeting Jackson's stare was physically painful. She couldn't handle the look of betrayal that seemed to define his eyes. The worst part was knowing that she was the cause of it.

"Now, I promised Alex I would look after you and that's what I intend to do. You can push me all you want, but I'm going to push right back. I know you're hurting, and I'm going to be here for you. But this rebellious act? That ends here and now. I'm not going to let you destroy yourself over this." Jackson grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him. "There was nothing that you could have done for your brother. It doesn't matter that you didn't get there in time. _This wasn't your fault_." He spoke emphatically, his voice slightly raised as he shook her shoulders gently.

Amber both loved and hated Jackson at that moment. She loved him for being the voice of reason she needed when everyone else was gone, but she hated him for understanding her pain so easily. She hated that he knew exactly what she was thinking when she hadn't even known it herself. She hated that he could see the immense guilt she carried when she had been trying to figure it out for days.

"I'm sorry." She choked out. She looked upward as far as she could in a final resort to keep from crying. "I'm….I'm just really sorry."

"I know that I haven't known you for long…but I get the feeling that you do this a lot, blame yourself for things that are out of your control. And you can't do that anymore, okay? It's no way to live your life."

Amber nodded and wiped her eyes with her sleeve, ignoring the dark-green streak of makeup that trailed across the white fabric. Jackson was exactly right. It was something that she did all the time.

"And I get it Amber, I really do. You blame yourself because that's the only way you can find a reason for why so many awful things happen. It's easier to think you did something wrong, to think that you caused something, than it is to just admit that most of the time…things are way out of our control."

Amber ran her sleeve across her face again, attempting to stifle the gentle free-fall of silent tears. Jackson sat down next to her and placed his arm around her shoulder. She sighed, fully surrendering to the words of advice, and leaned into his comforting gesture.

"Sometimes things just happen, kiddo." He whispered, running his hand up and down her arm.

"I feel like bad things happen to my family a lot…" She answered in resignation. "And after a while, I kind of have to assume that I'm bringing it upon myself."

"Don't ever think that." He ordered in a firm, but kind voice.

She nodded, not in agreement, but in understanding. It would take time to feel differently and Jackson knew that. Amber was simply acknowledging that there might be another cause for the events of her life, one that had little to do with her. When she would actually believe it – only time would tell. It was a small step, but it was good enough for him.

Amber sniffed once and pulled away. "Can we go home now?"

"Of course." Jackson took her arm and pulled her up to her feet with him.

"I really am sorry." She professed quietly, meeting his eyes for one of the first times in several days.

"I really do forgive you." He reassured, meeting her gaze.

She nodded before bowing her head and starting at a crack in the sidewalk, waiting for a 'but.' With Alex, there would have been another lecture, a very long one about respect and trust, most likely. Jackson however, didn't feel like that was his style. Amber seemed to know what she had done wrong and he didn't want to add insult to injury by spewing patronizing statements at her for the next ten minutes. He decided to go with a more simple approach.

"You know you're grounded, right?"

Amber sighed. "Yeah, I figured that much."

"And I really don't feel like having another fight about how I have no right to tell you what to do…so please just tell me that you get why I'm coming down on you like this."

"I get it. How long?"

"A week. And believe me when I say I'll be keeping a very close eye on you."

Amber groaned. She wasn't pleased, but she knew there was no getting out of it either. "Alright."

Jackson put a hand on her shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze. "Good…let's go home."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

The house was quiet for the rest of the night. Amber had retreated to her room as soon as they returned, needing to finish her homework for the following day. Jackson had simply told her not to stay up too late and went about his business. It was a refreshing change from his usual micromanaging, although she knew it wouldn't last. It was probably just a side effect of post-grounding guilt.

Around 10:00, she heard the back door open and close. She assumed it was just Meredith coming to grab her toothbrush or something. When Lexie appeared in her doorway, she almost thought she was dreaming.

"Hey." Lexie said cautiously, only sticking half of her body into the teenager's room.

"Oh, hi." Amber couldn't hide the shock in her voice. It had been forever since Lexie had willingly stopped by to talk to her.

"Mind if I come in?"

"Be my guest." Amber gestured to the foot of her bed. Lexie walked in and took a seat, twiddling her fingers briefly before looking up.

"I'm really sorry, Amber. I've been a piss poor excuse for a friend lately, huh?"

"I don't know if I would go that far…" She replied sheepishly.

"I feel like a total bitch for forgetting to pick you up."

"It's really not a big deal." Amber said nonchalantly, trying to ease Lexie's guilt somewhat.

"I know that I've been letting you down the past few days." Lexie mumbled.

It was almost refreshing for Amber, to be on the receiving end of an apology for once. But at the same time, she felt lousy too. It wasn't fun to see someone you cared about upset, even if they had wronged you.

"I guess I just hoped that after everything we went through, you and I would go back to the way we were before. I didn't get the chance though because you were never here." Amber divulged.

"I know." Lexie sighed. "It's becoming more and more apparent to me that I have an unreasonably hard time balancing the rest of my life when I'm with your brother."

"I could have told you that." Amber teased.

Lexie smirked at her before continuing. "But you know something, Amber? For the first time today…I realized why that is."

"Why?"

"Because we aren't right for each other." She disclosed, her voice slightly strained. "I wanted us to be….I wanted it so badly that I was willing to ignore everything else in my life to try and make it work."

Amber remained silent. She wanted to say something, but the words refused to come to her. She didn't know how to respond to a confession like that.

"And it's kind of pathetic, I know." Lexie continued, shaking her head. "

"Is this about Mark?" Amber questioned.

"No, it's about me actually…my own self-awareness."

"So you're going to break up with him?"

"I think so…tomorrow when I go to see him." Lexie revealed solemnly.

Amber thought about it for a moment and couldn't deny that she was somewhat relieved. Alex had seemed happy at first, but lately, the relationship appeared to be more trouble than it was worth. Unfortunately, Amber knew she was largely to blame for that. Much of their problems had come from the inability to locate a firm place with them as a couple. For a brief second, a wave of guilt washed over her, but then she could hear Jackson's words ringing in her head. _Sometimes things just happen._

"I think you're doing the right thing." Amber affirmed.

"You do? You aren't upset?" Lexie questioned.

"I think that if you were meant to be, you would know it….sometimes things happen, sometimes they don't."

"You're pretty smart, you know that?"

"I've been told." Amber joked with a half-smile.

A pause followed. Both were thinking the same thing, unsure how to request their mutual desire.

"So do you think when all is said and done…" Lexie started, allowing herself a small break to compile her words. "Do you think that we could take another shot at being friends?"

"I'd like that."

"Maybe we could go to a movie Friday or something? I don't know…just spend some time together."

"Can you wait a week?" Amber groaned. "Jackson has taken away everything near and dear to me, including my freedom."

Lexie giggled and threw her a sympathetic smile. "What did you do?"

"It's a long story, but I'll tell you about it tomorrow night if you're home?" She phrased the last part as a question, wondering if this could truly mean that things were starting to return to normal.

"I'll be here."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Alex squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for sleep to claim him for the night. He could call the nurse and ask for some medicine to knock him out, but he really didn't want to. The sooner he was off of that stuff, the sooner he could go home.

It was damn near impossible to get to sleep without it though because his movement was limited. Falling asleep perfectly on your back with arms directly by your side is harder than one might think. He kept wanting to roll too his side, but was greeted by a shooting pain, reminding him of the freshly removed bullet.

After several unsuccessful attempts, he finally managed to maneuver himself into a side position that didn't cause him excruciating pain. He had to keep his arm resting along the side of his body or else it would pull too much on his stitches.

It was once he was actually comfortable that he heard the clicking of heeled shoes nearing his door. He didn't bother trying to return to his back, assuming it was Meredith coming to check on him. It was something that she had been doing the past few days after Derek would fall asleep. If Alex was still up, they would chat for a while, watch television, or play cards. If it was her, she could just move her chair to the other side of the bed. He had worked too hard to change positions now.

The clicking came to a stop at the entrance to his room. He craned his neck, but couldn't see the doorway past his shoulder blade. "If that's you Meredith, I'm still up. You can come on in."

"Alex?" A familiar voice squeaked.

Alex remained still in confusion for a moment before it hit him. In a split-second, he had rolled himself back to his starting position with a clear view of the door. Normally, this would have been painful enough to render him unconscious, but the sudden burst of adrenaline caused him to barely feel it.

"Izzie?" He gasped.

**To be continued….**

* * *

><p>Hope you guys liked it! The next chapter is going to jump forward about 2 or 3 weeks. The hospital is re-opened by then and everyone is back at home. So don't worry, there will be more Meredith and Derek and all the other characters.<p>

I got significantly less reviews for the last chapter than I had the previous one. Your feedback is sooo helpful, so if you can find the time, pretty pretty please let me know what you thought!


	25. Once More With Feeling

**Hello lovely internet friends. Guess who just finished exams!? THIS GIRL. It's a good thing too…I was getting close to lighting myself on fire.**

**I wanted to give a tremendous thank you for the feedback I received on my last chapter. It was so kind and each review motivates me to keep going. I have a really busy life currently, but as long as you guys keep letting me know you want it, I promise not to stop writing!**

**To give everyone an update on Izzie's return: there will not be a ton of her in this chapter or the next. Everybody tells me they have yet to find a fan fiction that does Izzie correctly. Well I'm here to tell you - it's going to be me that finally gets it right. I'll make sure of it.**

**I'm going to study the earlier seasons hard core. I don't want to make her out to be a heartless bitch that left Alex. He might feel that way at first, but it won't last. I'm going to do my best to capture all of her qualities, the good and the bad: the stubbornness, the random bursts of childlike optimism, the way she empathizes with everyone, the way she manages to see the good in Alex even when he hates himself. I'll try to give you their real relationship, not a stupid fluffy rendition of it, but the honest truth. They yell, they're rude and cruel at times, but their love is incredible and they would still do anything for each other. So I hope this little monologue put some of you at ease. I'm fairly certain I know what I'm doing and I'll try not to let you down!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"_Izzie?" Alex gasped._

"_Hi Alex…" She repeated, hoping that another round of pleasantries might take some of the edge off the shock her ex-husband was experiencing. _

_Alex blinked back at her wordlessly, mouth agape. He even went so far as to slap his palm against his forehead, honestly doubting his consciousness. Izzie had left. He hadn't heard from her in months. Gone. Out of his life forever. And yet…here she stood…directly before him. _

"_I know this has got to be a bit of a surprise." She spoke. The familiar sound of her voice echoed through his room like an old favorite song, the kind you hear after decades of silence and come to realize you still know every single word by heart. _

"_A bit?" Alex couldn't help but spit out in disgust. "I haven't….I mean you haven't…..what the hell are you doing here?" _

_Izzie began to walk farther into the room, but was quickly stopped._

"_No. Don't come any closer." Alex forbade. "Just tell me what you came here for." _

_Izzie sighed, but retreated obediently. "I came here for you…to see you." _

"_What, did you have a sudden change of heart?" He hissed in reply, clearly not touched by her sentiment. "Or did you forget the part where you filed for a divorce and left me?" _

"_Alex…"_

"_No, don't 'Alex' me. I don't know why you would come here now; right when I had come to terms with…." He took a deep breath and ran a hand down his face. "I just don't know what you are hoping to accomplish by showing up like this."_

"_Look, neither do I." She asserted. It was the classic Izzie tone, the kind she used when desperately attempting to get someone to take her seriously. It reminded him of the weeks leading up to her departure and nearly sent a shiver down his spine. "I don't know why I came here. I heard about what happened to you and the next thing I knew I was in the car on my way." _

"_Why should you care that I got shot?" He bellowed, jerking slightly and hissing at the pain that followed. Izzie's lips formed a straight line as she watched him wince and readjust to a comfortable position. _

"_Why should I care?" She whispered, shaking her head in disbelief. _

_Alex stared back emotionlessly. _

"_It's not like I stopped loving you!" She practically shouted. "I just needed to find myself again. I needed to go someplace where I wasn't going to be defined by the stupid cancer, someplace where people wouldn't doubt me!"_

"_And you didn't think I would have come with you?!" He raised his voice to match her volume, not wanting to be overshadowed by her sudden burst of courage. "You didn't think I would have followed you anywhere?" _

"_You were the one doubting me!" _

"_When I spoke to Richard, I wasn't saying that you weren't as capable as everyone else. I was saying he needed to give you time to catch up…that's all! You just decided to interpret it how you wanted and never gave me a freaking chance to say otherwise." _

_Izzie retreated slightly, realizing that this was most definitely not the time to hash out unresolved issues. She wanted more than anything to make Alex understand that she never stopped caring. _

"_I tried not to love you." Alex muttered. "God knows I tried. But you made me, Izzie. You __**made me**__ love you….and then you left."_

_The room grew eerily quiet as they both took in the conversation that had taken place so far. So much had been said in such a short period of time. Izzie had romanticized this moment so much in her head once she decided to come. She had hoped their past would be overshadowed by the shock of the reunion. She wasn't naïve; she knew that she had done some wrong. But he had hurt her too, maybe not as badly as she had damaged him, but mistakes were made on both parts. All she wanted was to see him in front of her, alive and in one piece. _

"_I made the mistake of leaving when you told me to once." Izzie announced. "I'm not going to do it again."_

"_I didn't just tell you to leave, Iz." Alex scoffed. "You walked out on me first. I only told you not to come back."_

"_Well I've never been particularly good at following directions, have I?" _

_He didn't respond, still highly un-amused by her antics. Alex just wanted her gone. He couldn't have someone as unreliable as her re-entering his life, especially now that he had Amber. Their family had dealt with enough crazy to last them a life time and he wasn't looking to sign up for another round._

_Izzie sighed at the lack of response she was receiving. "I'm not giving up this time. When I heard that you got shot….you could have died. Don't you get that? It made me realize what I want. I've been trying to find myself, but a large part of that is in you! Okay? So you can send me away a thousand times…but I'm going to keep coming back until you let me in again." _

"_Then I'd buy a tent if I were you." Alex snorted. "Because I meant it when I said I deserved better than what you did to me. And I'm not just looking out for myself anymore." _

_Izzie's brow wrinkled in confusion at that last statement. It could mean a number of things. A girlfriend? A kid? A dog? Either way, she didn't push it. _

"_Please just leave." Alex requested through clenched teeth, although it was phrased more like a demand than anything. _

"_Fine." Izzie obliged, placing her hand on the door. She glanced back over her shoulder once more as she put one foot into the hallway. "But I meant what I said too….I'll be back." _

Alex stared at the set of metal doors in front of him, his heart rate increasing with each passing moment. The familiar ding nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack. He took a step backwards as the elevator parted open. The empty platform greeted him mockingly, as if daring him to take that single step inside.

He lingered with one foot in the air for a few seconds, ignoring the awkward glances he kept receiving from the various nurses passing by him. Why was it so hard to ride up a few floors? What did he think was going to happen?

_Tomorrow._ He assured himself before turning around and heading for the stairs. _I'll take the elevator tomorrow._

It had been three weeks since he was released from the hospital, four and a half weeks since he had been shot by a mad-man, and exactly 23 days since the woman who shattered his heart re-entered his life without warning.

It was amazing how quickly certain things returned to normal…and how other things seemed to remain standing still. Amber had gone back to school, throwing herself into soccer, spending time with Caleb, and increasing the number of gray hairs on his head whenever possible. Everyone else seemed to allow themselves to become engulfed by work, graciously accepting whatever crazy hours they were given without complaint.

It was the little things that lingered, however. Everyone had acquired these small oddities that could easily go unnoticed by people that didn't know them very well. Meredith's cynical attitude had reached new heights. It had taken her an extra three days to get cleared for surgery because she refused to tell her husband about the death of their unborn child. Derek had developed an intense adrenaline addiction, especially while driving. His speeding was so bad that Alex had stopped allowing Amber to ride with him several days ago. Jackson had nightmares almost every night. Sometimes they were quiet, but other times he woke up thrashing and even yelling. Lexie had been acting more timid than she typically would. She was much less competitive at work and usually the last one to voice her opinion in almost any field. Arizona and Callie had been arguing more than usual and spending all of their free time at home, cultivating their temporary custody of Nora. He had yet to speak to her about it, but there was a rumor that Arizona was contemplating an offer to move to Africa. Mark's temper had become somewhat unpredictable. Christina had been cautious about operating, as to be expected. She was scheduled for her first trip back into the O.R. in a few days. Amber had even been a little different, given them a hard time about doing her homework and studying. She also refused to set foot in the surgical wing. More often than not, she refused to venture around the hospital at all. She usually retreated to the resident's longue and stayed there until someone took her home.

As for Alex, he was angrier than usual, no surprise there. Apart from that, there wasn't much else…only a fear of elevators and constant reminders that Izzie could show up again at any moment.

All these things would pass eventually, he knew that much. In the mean time, he tried to ignore the newfound personality traits of those around him. It was a constant reminder of what they had been through. Thinking of that caused him to think of his time in the hospital, and that caused him to think about Izzie…and he didn't feel like venturing into that territory yet. He had chosen to take the high road, to focus on two things and two things only: his pediatric work and obtaining full custody of Amber next week.

He reached the top of the stairs slightly short of breath. After taking the elevator to every floor for five years, this was taking some getting used to. As the pediatrics wing came into his view, he caught sight of Arizona leaning against a patient's window. She was biting her thumbnail absentmindedly as she stared down at the chart in her other hand.

"What do we have?" Alex asked, sucking in a large puff of air to steady his breathing.

Arizona glanced up at him. "15-year-old girl, fell off of the top of a cheerleading pyramid."

Alex held out his palm for the chart. Once it was handed to him, he began to scan through the information. "Split forehead, broken ankle…." He muttered as he read through her symptoms. "Isn't this a plastics and ortho case now?"

"Keep going."

Alex turned the page and read the final line out loud. "Severe abdominal pain….so you think there might be internal damage?"

"Exactly. I want you to do a full work up. We already ruled out internal bleeding, but that's just the start. So run some tests and page me if you come up with anything."

"Will do." Alex agreed.

He peeked up at Arizona's expression for a few moments before deciding to say anything about the recent rumors floating around the hospital. "So…what's this I hear about you moving to Africa?"

"I'm not moving to Africa." She responded curtly. "I was offered a job, but I have Nora to think about…so I haven't accepted it."

"But you haven't turned it down either?"

"Yeah, well…there's no guarantee that I'll get permanent custody. I'm just keeping my options open."

"Oh…" Alex didn't know what else to say. He couldn't just come right out and say that he didn't want her to go, that he needed her to stay and be his teacher. That would be kind of girly.

"I should go. Page me if you come up with anything."

"Alright." He replied. He returned his attention to the chart in his hands as Arizona departed down the hallway. After studying her history for a few more minutes, he went inside.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Karev." He greeted.

"Fiona." She responded back, offering him a polite smile. She was small, reminding him a little bit of Amber. She was cute too, blonde hair with some light freckles spotting along her cheek bones. Teenage girls seemed to be a soft spot for him now ever since he took in Amber. It made him want to be a pediatrician even more.

"I hear you took a pretty nasty fall."

"Yeah." She answered sadly. "Our spotter was out with the flu, but I got on the pyramid anyway. I didn't think there was any chance I'd fall…I've had that trick down for weeks."

"So you're a cheerleader?" Alex attempted to spark some light conversation. She seemed somewhat apprehensive.

She nodded. "At Northwest."

"Oh, my little sister goes there."

Fiona sat up somewhat. "Wait, Karev…as in Amber Karev?"

"Yeah, you know her?"

"Not very well, but yes. We have a few classes together and we used to be in the same study group."

"You aren't anymore?"

"I guess not." She shrugged." She stopped showing up like two weeks ago, said she was too busy with soccer."

Alex nodded, trying not to let his skepticism show on his face. Amber was just as busy with soccer as she usually was, no more no less. It had never stopped her from going to study group before. Not to mention, her Latin grade had been suffering lately.

"Did I just get her in trouble?" Fiona spoke up, noticing that her doctor's thoughts had drifted elsewhere.

Alex laughed lightly and shook his head. "No, she's a busy girl. I'm not surprised."

"Ok good." The young girl exhaled in relief.

"So you started having abdominal pain after the fall?"Alex questioned, wanting to take the focus off of his spacey behavior. He squinted at the scribbling on the last page of the chart.

"No…it was right before I fell."

"Wait…what?" Alex closed the chart and looked up at the young girl. This changed a lot of things. It ruled out any problems with the kidneys and liver due to the fall, internal bleeding, and a number of other possibilities. On the other hand, it could also mean something much more serious: stomach cancer, kidney stones….he didn't know what angle to take. At least when he thought it was from the fall, he had somewhere to begin.

"That's why I fell." She verified. "It was hurting a little bit before practice, but I just ignored it. I thought maybe lunch wasn't sitting well with me or something. But at practice I was standing on one leg at the top doing my pose and all of the sudden I got this sharp pain. It doubled me over and I just…fell."

Alex set the chart on the edge of the bed and took a good look at Fiona. She seemed very healthy, clearly athletic with no signs of physical distress. It didn't seem like anything serious would be the cause, but you can never be too careful.

"Alright…well I'm going to have to run some tests. I don't want to miss anything. I'm going to send an intern down to collect the rest of your history while I run your blood work and urine sample. I'll come back to check on you really soon, okay?"

Fiona sunk back slightly, a little unnerved, but nodded in compliance. Alex gave her a reassuring smile before departing.

He left the pediatric wing hastily, wondering if he could catch Amber before Lexie took her home. She had a study session with Caleb and Alex had agreed to let him come over as long as there would be someone in the house with them. Thankfully, while things had been awkward between himself and Lexie since the break up, she and Amber's friendship seemed to be thriving.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

In the resident's lounge Amber tapped her pencil impatiently against her Latin book. She hated conjugations, and lately, they just hadn't been sticking with her. She stared at the passage in front of her, only making out little pieces of it. Her school work had been taking a small blow since the shooting. Not to mention, it had been incredibly hard to focus with her custody hearing coming up. Her motivation was lacking in this class, mostly because it didn't interest her all that much. Biology and anatomy were cool, Latin was just boring.

To make matters worse, now everyone was on her case about her grades dropping. She had always been a straight A student, so when she brought home two C's in the same week, Alex was less than thrilled. Now she had just received another one and was dreading the confrontation that was sure to come when her brother found out.

Amber huffed and closed her book, deciding to take a break from the incessant ramblings of a dead language. Her translations weren't due for another few days.

"Everything ok?" April asked from the back of the room. She and Meredith were eating a late lunch at one of the tables near the window.

Amber turned to face them. She didn't dislike April quite as much since she had moved in with them. Meredith seemed to have taken pity on her after the shooting and agreed to let her join their house of surgeons. As if it wasn't crowded enough already.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've just been having a little bit of trouble with my school work. If I don't get an A on these next few tests, I'm never going to hear the end of it from Alex and Derek."

Surprisingly, it was Derek who had been giving Amber the hardest time about her grades. Jackson was more of an "effort" type of person. He had barely said a word about the few poor marks she had brought home. Then again, he had also taken care of her for the better part of three weeks and understood her struggle the most. He knew this was a difficult time for her and that her grades would improve again.

Alex and Derek, however, believed that it was better to act as if things were completely normal. Normally, Amber wouldn't get away with bringing home low grades, so why should things be any different after the shooting? Obviously, Amber was fonder of Jackson's tactics.

"Don't let them get to you." Meredith encouraged her. "Let me guess, Derek gave you some speech about not wasting your potential?"

"Ding ding ding." Amber replied cheekily. "You should have seen the two of them tag-teaming me."

"If you ask me, grades don't mean anything anyways." Meredith commented. "Testing never accurately represents what a person actually knows."

"I couldn't agree more." Amber smiled, appreciating Meredith's cynical attitude. It was nice to have someone on her side, even if it was just for a little while. She knew that she needed to buckle down and start studying hard again, but currently, venting was nice.

"Why don't you get Caleb to help you again?" April suggested. "You said he is the reason you started acing calculus."

"He's coming over today." Amber said with a grin. She couldn't help how giddy she got at the mention of his name, even if he was coming over to do Latin. "I'm leaving with Lexie any minute now."

"Well if he's as good as you keep saying, I'm sure you'll be getting A's again in no time."

"I better." Amber rejoined sourly.

The encouraging girl talk was cut short as Alex pushed his way into the longue.

"Hey kiddo." He greeted, wasting no time in yanking out a chair and seating himself across from her. Amber felt uneasy as he stared at her expectantly.

"Yes?" Amber inquired.

"You know the girl Fiona from your study group?" Alex began, clasping his hands together.

"Yes…." She replied dubiously. She herself knew Fiona. What she didn't know was how Alex knew her.

"She's one of my patients today."

"Is she alright?"

"We'll find out. I'm running some tests." Alex said.

"Oh…" Amber allowed her voice to trail off. She was sure this was leading somewhere and was anxious for Alex to get to the point.

"What's this I hear about you not going to study group anymore?"

Amber sighed. Of course he would find out about that. Why on earth had she thought she could ever keep a secret from anyone that she lived with? These people were everywhere. "I didn't feel like I needed to go anymore. Things have just been hectic lately."

"You don't need to go anymore?" He asked accusingly. "What about those C's you've been bringing home?"

"It was just two."

"Did you get your test from last week back today like you were supposed to?"

Amber's heart sunk. Her and her big mouth. "About that…"

"Just give it to me."

Amber grunted before leaning down and jamming her arm into her book bag. She reemerged with a yellow folder and plucked a thin packet of paper out from the front pocket. Begrudgingly, she shoved into her brother's hands. His eyes scanned over the first page.

"Another C?" Alex demanded, clearly miffed. He was nearing the end of his rope. This was so unlike his sister and he had no idea how to help her anymore.

"Actually… C+." Amber mumbled, shifting her weight nervously in her seat.

"I don't care about the plus or minus." Alex thundered. "It's still going to say C on your report card if you keep it up."

Amber frowned and stared at the rough carpet of the resident's longue. She had to resist the urge to argue in return. She had been trying to be an angel for Alex lately, but it had been difficult with him and Derek on her case about her grades constantly. She had perfect scores in every single class apart from Latin. What was the big deal?

"Amber…you know I only care if you're trying your hardest." Alex began. Amber had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. "But clearly this isn't your best. You're a straight A student. You've been consistently bringing home C's in Latin now. What gives?"

"I've just had a lot on my mind…I'm sorry. I'll do better, okay?"

Part of Alex wanted to remain soft, but this was getting ridiculous. He and Derek had both spoken to her multiple times in the past week about her study and homework habits. She just hadn't been focused, and that needed to change. She needed to learn that life didn't stop because something bad happened.

"Caleb's coming over today to help you?" He asked.

"Yes."

"I better see an improvement, or you'll be getting a real tutor. Not your boyfriend."

Amber's eyes narrowed as she grew frustrated. "Alex, this is an AP level class. Most people bring home C's all the time."

"Yeah? You're not most people. You can do better and I expect more from you."

"It's one class!" She came back defensively. "Logically, it won't affect my GPA that much _and_ I still have time to bring it up."

"Well I suggest you do that." Alex spoke sternly, raising an eye brow. "Before, _logically_ I have to ground you and _logically_ make you get a tutor."

Amber huffed in defeat but didn't saying anything back.

"Am I going to need to do that?" He pressed.

"No…I'll bring it up."

"Good." He smiled right as his pager went off. He peeked down at it. "I've got to go grab these test results. Good luck studying with Caleb."

"Thanks." Amber called after him as he vanished through the door. She allowed her head to fall into the crook of her arm, which was resting limply on the table.

She stayed in that position, mumbling to herself, until she heard the door open and Lexie waltzed in. "Ready to go?" She asked cheerfully.

"Good god, yes." Amber practically jumped out of her chair. She snatched her book bag and darted out the door with Lexie in tow.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Alex shuffled his feet uncomfortably as Fiona stared back at him, her gaze unmoving.

"You're really scaring me. Can't you just tell me?" She begged.

"I thought you might want to wait for your parents…" He returned awkwardly. This was the kind of situation he had no earthly idea how to deal with.

"Not particularly. I'd rather you just tell me. What else are we going to do? Stare at each other until they get off of work?"

Alex grunted before grabbing a chair and pulling it to her bedside. He plopped down, hating that she was right. "Fiona…." He started, stopping abruptly in anticipation of how she was going to handle the news.

"What?" She demanded. "Oh god, am I dying?"

"No no no!" He dismissed her fears. He wasn't trying to freak the kid out, it was just that he didn't know the best way to give this information to anybody, let alone a child. "It's nothing like that."

"Then what is it?" She pressed. "I can handle it."

"Fiona…" He tried again, placing his hands together. "The stomach pain that made you fall…you were having a miscarriage.

The young girl stared back at him, a look of bewilderment shadowing over all of her youthful features.

"I take it you didn't know that you were pregnant?" He asked gently. It was a delicate situation and he really wasn't trying to upset her.

"No." She whispered, shaking her head in utter disbelief. "We were careful…"

Alex leaned forward slightly. It wasn't his place to judge, but staring at her, she wasn't a patient. She was a 15-year-old girl. She was the same age as Amber. Girls her age still consult Cosmo magazines for all of their major problems, they dot their I's with little hearts, they communicate through text messages, they use 'oh my god' as a part of their daily vocabulary. _Nothing_ about a 15-year-old girl suggests that they are old enough to be having sex.

"Do we have to tell my parents?" She pleaded with him, her voice squeaking.

Alex hesitated slightly. "Technically you're a minor and your parents have all rights to your medical information." He informed her. Her eyes grew wide, silently begging him to make an exception.

"Plus…" He continued. "They should know about this Fiona."

"I'm fine now." She sputtered, clearly growing increasingly frantic. "No harm no foul."

"But you're just a kid." He reasoned with her softly. He kept the same tone of voice he often used during a heart-to-heart with Amber. It was non-threatening, nurturing even. "They need to know so they can talk to you about this. The fact of the matter is you're too young to be having sex."

"But 15-years-old really isn't that young." She countered. "Most people at my age in a relationship have at least considered it."

Alex had to resist clutching his chest in physical pain as the thought of Amber and Caleb having sex passed through his mind.

Fiona must have noticed because she quickly tacked on, "not everyone…but a lot of people."

"Well, I at least want you to promise me that you're going to be even more careful from now on." He bargained.

"Trust me…I don't plan on having sex again anytime soon after this."

"I'm really happy to hear that, kid, but my hands are sort of tied on the whole 'parent' thing. The school contacted them and when they come to sign you out, they're going to want to know what happened."

"I understand." She nodded dismally. "Can I be the one to tell them at least?"

"Of course."

"I just didn't think I would ever get pregnant..." She allowed her voice to trail off. "I mean it's happened to other people we go to school with, but I didn't think it would happen to me."

"It can happen to anyone."

"Is it bad that I'm almost relieved that it's over?" She questioned, tears forming along the edges of her eyes.

Alex sighed and leaned forward again. "I think it's normal." He reassured her quietly. "You would never wish for anything bad to happen to your baby...but I understand that you aren't ready to be a mother. You have a lot of life left to live first."

"Thank you." She whispered. A sole tear slid down her cheek and she brushed it away quickly. "What happens now?"

"Well..." He paused and glanced at her face first, making sure she was alright. "I'm going to get an OBGYN consult for you and they're going to schedule a procedure to remove the fetus."

"A surgery?"

"It's very minor." He soothed her, imaging that this was all very overwhelming. "But yes...and then you get to carry on with your life."

"Everything seems too different now." Fiona mumbled.

"That will go away." He informed her quickly. "Slowly at first...but it will. I can promise you that."

She nodded but said nothing else. Alex took that as his cue to leave her be. She most likely needed some time alone with her thoughts. This was a lot of information to process.

"I'll go ahead and set up your consult. Will you be okay here until your parents get off work?"

"Yeah...I'll be fine."

Alex stood up to leave and paused for a moment by the door. "Ok, I'll have a nurse send them in here when they arrive. And Fiona?"

"Hm?"

"Take care of yourself."

"Thank you Dr. Karev." She smiled, sounding overwhelmingly sincere. "Tell your sister I said hey."

"I can do that." He agreed before walking out the door.

Alex met up with Arizona a few minutes later to fill her in on their patient's status. They both were pleased that it hadn't been something more serious. It seemed like more often than not at this hospital, it was never a diagnosis this simple.

After completing the remainder of his paperwork, he managed to catch Derek and Jackson before they left. The three of them rode home together in a comfortable silence. Maybe it wasn't happening as quickly as everyone would like, but their lives were slowly coming back together. In the mean time though, they at least had plenty of people to lean on.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber locked her hands around the back of Caleb's neck, pulling his body closer to hers. His fingers tangled messily through her hair as it fanned out along the arm of the couch. He kept one of his knees digging into the cushion to avoid putting all his weight on her small frame as they made out. His kiss was enticing, leaving Amber wanting more every time he changed directions.

The studying itself hadn't taken more than an hour and a half. Amber was fairly certain she had gotten a grip on her issues with that stupid dead language. Her brain couldn't take anymore translations and her homework was completed all the way through the next week. The good news was this left them with plenty of time to fool around.

"You sure Lexie won't come downstairs?" Caleb asked breathlessly, his lips moving a short distance from her mouth. It was such a tease.

"We'll hear her if she does." Amber whispered, running her finger tips down the back of his neck affectionately. Caleb nodded and then put his hands on either side of her shoulders, pinning her beneath him and beginning to kiss her once more. Their bodies moved against each other in a seamless rhythm.

This was one perk to living in a house full of doctors who worked a wide array of crazy hours. When one of them was home, allegedly "looking after her," they generally spent that time sleeping. Technically, Amber was doing exactly as she was told. Alex had a strict rule about absolutely no boys in her bedroom under any circumstances. The couch however….well that was fair game.

It actually made things a little easier for her to be in such a public location. She didn't have to worry about things going too far. After all, what kind of boy would try anything on the living room couch? Without the worry of getting carried away clouding her thoughts, she was free to enjoy an intense make-out session with her extremely attractive boyfriend.

"God you're hot." Caleb muttered in her ear before kissing his was down her jaw line, stopping momentarily to focus on her neck.

Amber blushed and gripped the back of his gray t-shirt in her fist, savoring the feeling that sent goosebumps forming on every inch of her skin. For a moment, she wondered if Caleb had ever…_done it_ before. He was very attractive, not to mention popular, and she wasn't blind. She knew that he was something of a male run-around-sue before she entered the picture. It would make sense if he had. She was sure he had received plenty of offers in the past.

Amber tilted her head slightly and Caleb moved his face back towards hers. Their lips met once again and the cycle started all over. His fingers ran through her hair and her hands traveled along his back as they kissed without pause. That was when she heard it…the unmistakable sound of someone clearing their throat.

Caleb pulled away from her and she turned her head to get a look, expecting to be greeted by Lexie. That would have been the best-case scenario. Lexie or Meredith she probably could have explained this to. However, her failure to hear Alex, Jackson, and Derek return from work…that she wasn't quite sure if she could explain.

* * *

><p><strong>You know what you guys get to look forward to in the next chapter? Because I've been hitting you with so much drama, I thought I would be nice and throw in a lovely filler chapter where everyone tries to give an awkward sex talk. Oh…just you wait. Should be a scream.<strong>

**QUICK QUESTION: Sofia or no Sofia? I planned ahead so that I could make it work if you guys still want Callie to get pregnant. I have an idea that involves Arizona still leaving for Africa. Everything will work out in the end, but you'll have to deal with a little temporary twist. SO WHAT WILL IT BE GREY'S FANS?**


	26. Feels Like the First Time

**16 DAYS! I know it isn't a super quick update, but for me it kind of is? Hey, it's better than my usual month!**

**So most of this chapter is pretty light-hearted and quite funny if I do say so myself. I was giggling just writing it, so I hope it makes you guys laugh.**

**I haven't come to a decision on Sophia yet, but I don't think I'm going to send Arizona to Africa. If I do decide to make Callie get pregnant, I'll do it in another way (don't worry, it will include Mark).**

**Sorry this chapter is so long, but I just had so much fun coming up with it. Please leave me a review and tell me what you thought!**

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Where's Alex?" Amber questioned apprehensively. She kicked her feet back and forth, allowing them to gently graze the tile floor. She had been sitting at the kitchen table for what seemed like forever now. Jackson and her brother were nowhere to be seen. Derek, on the other hand, had been staring at her on and off for the past 30 minutes, shifting his attention incrementally between the stove and her face.

"The shower I think." Derek replied coarsely.

"Still?"

"He's probably trying to drown himself."

Amber swallowed. She wasn't necessarily in any trouble. After all, she hadn't broken any of the guy's rules. She was allowed to have boys in the living room and she was allowed to kiss her boyfriend…at least she thought she was. It didn't make the whole situation any less unnerving though. She couldn't deny that Derek was a freakishly intimidating man.

"And Jackson?"

"Probably gathering a team of assassins for your boyfriend."

"Dear lord, help me now." Amber mumbled, glancing up towards the ceiling.

The deadly silence resumed and Amber looked over at the clock, her eyes following the second hand as it cycled. She couldn't take it anymore. Obviously, everyone was going to want to put in their two cents about what just happened. She could only hope that it would commence sometime in the next decade.

"Well…are we going to talk or are you going to keep staring at me like I have two heads?"

Derek narrowed his eyes and gave her a look. She quickly shifted her focus to the table.

At last, he took a seat next to her. "Amber…"

"Before you say anything," she cut him off, "I know that it looked bad, but we were just kissing. It's not like we were doing it."

Derek made an odd sound, a grunt almost, like someone had just stepped on his foot. "I'm really trying not to entertain…_that_ idea."

"Sorry."

He placed his palms together as if he were about to pray and touched his finger tips to his chin. After a moment of deep contemplation, he pointed his clasped hands in her direction and opened his mouth. A small croak escaped as he searched for the appropriate words. "Amber…you are a beautiful girl." He settled on for a start.

Amber couldn't resist letting her eyes reach for the stars. _Here we go_. She thought bitterly.

"And when you are a beautiful girl…you need to be extra careful. Because let me tell you something. Boys? They're monsters. They're monsters with an absence of self-control. I am one, I know these things."

"Derek…" She tried to interject.

"No, let me finish." He held out one finger in a silencing gesture. "And the only thing worse than a boy is a teenage boy. I was one, I know these things."

Amber scrunched her face, partially in confusion and partially in an attempt to keep from laughing.

"And when you kiss these boy-monster hybrids like that…you're only encouraging them to try…_other things_."

"I appreciate the informative talk, but I think I can say no to _other things_." She managed to cut in.

"Ah, you think that now, but you underestimate the power of the male bravado."

"The male bravado?" Amber asked incredulously. "Are you serious, Derek?"

"Oh, I'm serious as cancer." He declared. "And I'm a neurosurgeon…so that's pretty serious."

Amber couldn't help but face palm at that one. _Only Derek._ She thought, letting her hand cover her face as she imagined she were someplace else, someplace far far away from this nuthouse.

The sound of movement in the dining room caught her attention. She twisted around in her seat to find Jackson lingering in the doorway. He said nothing as he shared a long look with his co-worker. Amber could only assume they were communicating via some telepathy acquired exclusively though emotional breakdowns.

Jackson stepped into the room wordlessly. His eyes shone brightly, appearing as if he had just seen a ghost. He gaped at Amber as if the mere sight of her were damaging his psyche.

"I suppose you came to give your lecture too?" She inquired sourly.

"I came to say one thing and one thing only." He announced, the volume of his voice wavering with each word. Why men were such babies about this topic, Amber would never understand.

"Alright…let's have it."

"If you have sex, you will get pregnant and die." He stated emphatically before rocketing out of the room like a starting pistol had just sounded.

Amber turned back to Derek slowly, trying to comprehend everything that was occurring.

"Well said, well said." Derek softly commended Jackson's apparent wisdom.

All the men in this house were on drugs, Amber decided. Derek had gone off his rocker, Jackson was quoting "Mean Girls," and her older brother had been in the shower so long that maybe he _was_ trying to drown himself.

"Can I go to my room now?" She pleaded.

"There's this thing we usually do in the evenings…we call it dinner." Derek remarked sheepishly as he walked over to the stove. He lifted the cover off of the skillet and took a peek before replacing it and spinning back to face her.

"Fine." Amber huffed, crossing her arms and slumping back into her chair. "Anything else?"

"If the three of us catch you in that kind of position again…I can't be held responsible for what might happen to your boyfriend."

She tried her best to fight it, but a small giggle escaped at the previous comment.

"Don't laugh. I'm serious." He asserted, although he was smiling himself. "We're surgeons. We have extensive knowledge of the human body. Do you really think we would have a hard time making it look like an accident?"

"I'm very afraid for your future daughter." Amber retorted playfully.

"Irrelevant." Derek returned. "My daughter will never date."

"I completely believe you." Amber laughed. "That's why I'm afraid for her."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Later that night, Amber scrolled through her Facebook newsfeed mindlessly, barely reading anything as it passed. Dinner had been possibly the most awkward encounter of her life. Thankfully, Lexie woke up, so at least she hadn't been alone.

Alex, however, had barely said a word. Amber pulled him aside after dinner and asked if he was mad.

"_I'm not mad at you, Amber, but we definitely need to have a long talk." He told her. _

"_Well then let me hear it." She requested, just wanting everything to be water under the bridge._

"_Tomorrow." He assured her. "I really want to think about what I'm going to say."_

Amber hadn't been pleased about it, but what could she say? Her brother had walked in on her in a very compromising position. Obviously it was a shock to him, especially considering he had only known the teenage version of her for six months. Maybe he was so used to the little girl he grew up with that this was even more traumatizing for him.

Either way, the waiting was driving her crazy. She leaned over and snatched her cell phone from the night stand and texted Meredith and Lexie. _Emergency girl talk please?_

It didn't take long for the two of them to appear in her doorway. Amber beckoned them into her room and they took a seat on the edge of her bed.

"What's going on?" Meredith questioned, a hint of concern in her voice.

"How much has Lexie told you?"

Meredith knitted her eyebrows together. "About what?"

"I haven't had the chance to tell her." Lexie said. "And I don't think any of the boys are uttering a word…at least not yet."

"Would someone please enlighten me?" Meredith interrupted.

Amber sighed. Meredith would probably be the least likely to judge her out of anyone. "So Caleb came over to help me study today…" She began.

Meredith inhaled and tried to keep from laughing. She had a pretty good idea of where this was going.

"And when we finished our homework we started kissing on the couch. It was PG stuff at first…but Lexie was upstairs sleeping so I guess it kind of went to PG-13."

"Define PG-13." Meredith requested. "Because I have a feeling that my PG-13 and your PG-13 are entirely different."

"Um, he had me sort of…pinned down I guess? He was like half on top of me and we were making out pretty heavily. We were both fully clothed though."

Meredith giggled softly. "That sounds like the stuff I did when I was 15…what's the problem?"

"All three of the guys came home at the same time and caught us."

"Holy crap." Meredith breathed.

"Yeah." Lexie agreed. "Holy crap is right. They've all gone insane. Including your husband. He forced her to listen to his own messed up cautionary tale about teenage boys."

"I'm really not surprised by that. What did Alex do?"

"That's the thing!" Amber exclaimed. "When I tried to talk to him, he wouldn't! He said that he has to really think about what he wants to say to me and I'm freaking out."

"Uh oh." Lexie smirked, exchanging an all-knowing glance with Meredith.

"What? What do you two know that I don't?"

"Somebody's getting _the talk_." Meredith lilted.

"The talk? As in the sex talk?" Amber couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Most definitely. Why else would he want to wait?" Lexie jumped in.

"Oh god." Amber collapsed backwards into her pillows. She placed a stuffed giraffe over her face and groaned into it. "How the hell am I going to get out of this one?"

"You can't." Lexie stated. "You can avoid them for as long as you can, but that's it."

Amber sat back up to say something else but caught sight of April through the open door as she walked down the hallway towards the bathroom. April paused momentarily, debating whether she should say something. She thought better of it, knowing that the three of them had a tighter relationship, one that she wasn't a part of it.

April started to walk again, but Amber called after her. "April wait!" She shouted. "You can come in if you want."

It was true that Amber wasn't April's biggest fan, but she also wasn't going to blatantly leave her out of this. She could at least make an effort to be friends.

April hid a smile before stopping in her tracks and calmly making her way back towards Amber's room.

"How much do you know?" Amber inquired once she was in her sight.

"All of it." April admitted. "Jackson recounted the whole thing while pacing back and forth through my room. I tried my best to calm him down, but it was hopeless."

"Take a seat."

April awkwardly walked in and situated herself next to Meredith. She felt as if she had just been initiated into a secret society, one she had desperately wanted to be a part of for the past few weeks.

"If I tell you guys that I have no intention of sleeping with Caleb, not for a long long time, will you believe me?"

"Good for you!" April cheered, clapping her hands giddily.

The other three girls stared at her flatly.

"Sorry." She mumbled, hunching her shoulders.

"Anyhow…" Amber recaptured their attention. "Would you?"

"Absolutely." Meredith said.

"Definitely. We trust you." Lexie added on.

Amber stared at April patiently, waiting for her to realize that she was supposed to give her opinion as well.

"Oh, me?" She squeaked. "Of course I believe you. And can I just say that I think it's very admirable."

"Thank you." Amber smiled warmly. "See, you guys believed me just like that. I've been saying the same thing to the boys all night and it's like they don't even hear me."

"They're men." Meredith pointed out. "They aren't known for keeping a level head when it comes to things like this."

"True, but what can I do to show them I'm serious?"

"Just listen and nod." Lexie suggested. "Act like whatever people tell you is the greatest advice you've ever heard."

"Yeah…I'm not going to do that." Amber laughed.

"I didn't think you would." Meredith smiled. "But all kidding aside, is there anything we can do to help?"

"Any chance you can run interference at the hospital tomorrow?"

"We can try." April volunteered.

"Just try to keep anybody else from finding out until I can calm Alex down."

"Impossible, but we'll do our best." Meredith vowed.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

When Alex woke up the next morning there was a brief moment of blissful ignorance, one where he was temporarily oblivious to everything that had been going on in his life lately. Unfortunately, it only lasted for a few glorious seconds before realization set in. As soon as he began to get dressed and caught sight of the scar on the left side of his chest, everything flooded back into his brain like an angry tsunami covering an entire city.

It was almost as if his head were physically expanding as he recalled all of the details of his life. His first thought was Izzie. He hated himself for it, but part of him, the larger part of him, wanted her to keep coming back. It seemed so needy, but truth be told, he just wanted someone to fight for him…something that only Izzie had ever truly done. He was still furious at her for writing him off so quickly, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to let go.

Alex shook his head, knowing that she shouldn't be allowing such thoughts to cross his mind. It would be a refreshing change of pace for someone to gravel for him, to seek out his forgiveness, but maybe it still wasn't what was best for him…or Amber.

_Amber. _Alex groaned at the thought of his baby sister. What the hell was he going to do with that kid? If it were an option, he'd just lock her inside forever and make sure that no boy ever touched her. Then when the time was right and she was mature and grown up, he could go find a nice, respectable man for her to marry. Much to his distress though, that really wasn't a viable choice.

He had rolled around for hours in bed the night before, trying to figure out what he was going to say to her. Her life had been so unpredictable in the past, he highly doubted anyone had ever bothered to give her the speech. He had given Aaron the talk as a teenager, but that was different. Aaron was older and their father wasn't around…it seemed like the responsibility fell on Alex without question. Amber, he thought he would have more time to figure out. He was banking on having at least another year of preparation.

By "the talk" he didn't necessarily mean the birds and the bees. He meant the respect talk. The talk about how she was worth more than she would ever understand and deserved to be treated as such. If he could teach her only one thing while she was in his care, it would be how to respect herself. Because when you respect yourself, you command respect from others. And a large part of that was waiting for the right guy to come along. There was no way for her to know if she had found Mr. Right at fifteen years old. That meant she needed to be more careful than ever. Alex would make sure of that.

The sound of the doorbell jarred him from his thoughts. He perked an ear and listened as footsteps rounded the corner, signaling that someone else was taking care of it. Whoever it was could wait, he was running late as it was.

Alex quickly threw on some clothes and grabbed the sport's bag that held his scrubs. "Amber!" He called out his bedroom door. "You better be ready!"

He wasn't surprised by the lack of response. For such a brilliant girl, her attention span was something else. Switching his bag to his good side, he stepped into the hallway and spotted Amber by the front door. She was leaning against the frame talking to their visitor. If it was Caleb, Alex was going to be forced to add murder to his list of morning activities.

"Amber." He repeated as he neared the door. "Get your stuff and come on."

His sister turned around to look at him. It was then that Alex caught sight of the person standing on the front steps.

"Izzie?" He asked, clearly baffled.

"I don't know who she is, Alex, but she brought cookies." Amber announced, flashing a wide grin at her brother who perfectly resembled a deer caught in headlights at that moment.

Izzie leaned over and stuck her torso partially through the landing, extending a plate covered in plastic wrap. "Happy Thursday."

Alex accepted the plate without a word, still in shock. "Um…this isn't really a good time. I have to take her to school."

"I can hitch a ride with Meredith." Amber offered, not catching onto her brother's hesitance.

"I really think I should take you." Alex spoke through clenched teeth.

Amber looked back and forth between the two of them, sensing a clear history. She peered up at her older brother and scrunched up her forehead trying to make sense of it all. Then it hit her. _Izzie._

"_It is my understanding that you are no longer married to Isabel Stevens. Is that correct?" Mrs. Clark asked. _

Amber could hear her social worker's voice clear as a bell. She had barely been paying attention to anything Alex was saying as he filled out the custody paperwork that day. She still hated him at the time, but that question had stuck out.

"No…I really think I want Meredith to take me." Amber informed him, raising an eyebrow. "I'll let you catch up with cookie girl."

Alex opened his mouth to argue, but Amber had basically served him to Izzie on a silver platter. "Fine." He caved in. "Do you have soccer practice today?"

Amber shook her head no as she reached for her back pack.

"You go straight to the hospital after school, you got me?" Alex dictated. "You can ride back with me. We still need to talk."

"I'll look forward to it." She rolled her eyes in reply.

Alex shot her a playful glare before kissing the top of her head. He then shoved her towards the kitchen. "Get out of here."

After he heard the backdoor shut, Alex turned his attention back to Izzie. They stared at each other in silence before he gathered the courage to speak.

"This is going to have to be quick…I need to go to work."

"That's alright. I'll ride with you. I'm headed that way."

Alex had no idea what possessed him…but he agreed. A small portion of him, and he was unaware of how dominant that portion may be, still had trouble resisting this woman. There was and likely always would be, something so tantalizing about her.

Izzie followed behind him, bopping victoriously. She was perfectly content in brief silence as they climbed into his car. The familiar aroma of the interior surrounded her welcomingly and she quietly celebrated what she considered a small step in the direction of their reconciliation.

They remained wordless until he had pulled out of the driveway. "So, you still bake." He finally commented.

Izzie let out a light laugh. "I'm still me, Alex."

"It would appear." He replied, half-seriously. He was still cautious. There was no doubt about that, but there was no harm in engaging her in light conversation either. "So what business do you have near the hospital?"

"Why do I have to answer all the questions?" She teased. "What about you and the female-Alex clone that answered the door? Did an old spark show up with a daughter-spawn?"

Alex resisted the strong urge to laugh. He didn't want to joke with her. This was a casual catch-up conversation. He couldn't allow himself to become too comfortable. Short and to the point was the best approach; no joking and no reminiscing.

"That was Amber…my little sister Amber."

Izzie's eyes widened as she recalled the handful of late night conversations they had had about his family. It was, needless to say, his touchiest subject. She was the only person he ever really told anything about his past. He never disclosed much, but she could recall a few mentions of the siblings he practically raised.

"And she's yours now?"

"My mom got into drugs and her boyfriends had a tendency to go after Amber. Then our brother drove off the deep-end too." Alex informed her bluntly. "I've had her for about six months."

"Oh my god." Izzie inhaled sharply. "That's…I'm really sorry."

"That's life." Alex muttered.

"That just seems like a horrible thing to…"

"Enough heart-to-heart." Alex cut her off. He gripped the steering wheel tighter, cursing himself for losing his temper. "It's a difficult subject."

"No…it's okay, I get it." Izzie replied, thankful when they pulled into the hospital parking lot.

"You need me to drop you off somewhere else first?" He asked.

"No. I'm going here."

Alex undid his seat-belt and turned to face her. "Here…why?"

"I have a meeting." She answered casually, opening her car door and getting out.

Alex had to pick up the pace to keep up with Izzie. He hated it when she acted all mysterious. He had been straight forward with her about what had gone on since she left and he definitely expected some reciprocity.

He grabbed her arm gently, ignoring the internal shock he felt at the touch of her skin. "Enough of this. I told you what I've been doing…are you at least going to tell me where you've been?"

"I already told you." She came back with her signature smile, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder confidently. "I was finding myself."

"And…?"

"The search is over." She remarked with a smirk, continuing to walk towards the entrance.

Alex hustled to remain next to her. "So what did you find?"

Izzie bowed her head so that Alex wouldn't see just how happy his interest was making her. "I found a job I love…an amazing mentor…" She stopped in her tracks and turned to meet his stare. "And I found that all of it means significantly less without you."

Alex swallowed, unsure of what to say. He couldn't do this. He couldn't get roped back in. His heart was screaming at him to grab her and kiss her right there. His brain, however, was telling him to run away as fast as he could. He couldn't afford instability.

Nevertheless, he couldn't fend off his curiosity. "Are you going to tell me any more than that?"

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know." She agreed curtly. "If you have coffee with me tomorrow."

Alex wavered for a few moments. Never before had a simple decision seemed so trying. "Alright." He responded warily, before he ever had the chance to talk himself out of it.

"Ok then." Izzie smiled, doing her best not to fist pump in public. The two started walking again, remaining silent until they reached the elevator. "Going up?"

Alex shook his head. "I don't do elevators anymore….I'll see you tomorrow." He didn't give her a chance to respond before turning and walking away. But as much as he tried to fight it, even with her out of his sight, he kept thinking about her. He thought about her to the point that he didn't feel a single of step of the grueling journey to the fourth floor.

He was surprised to find the spot in front of the nurses' station empty when he reached the pediatric wing. Dr. Robbins was annoyingly punctual. She was usually waiting impatiently for Alex every time without fail, her right foot tapping and her curls bouncing.

Today it was Alex who waited, silently wondering where his teacher had run off to. She came into view a few minutes later. She wasn't alone though. Another blonde trailed shortly behind her, catching up on a patient chart.

"Alex." Arizona greeted him warmly. "Say hello to our neo-natal resident consult from Los Angeles….Dr. Stevens."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

That afternoon, Amber poked her head into the residents lounge with caution, carefully examining every corner before walking inside and taking a seat. She had half been expecting Alex to be waiting for her with a highly detailed chart of the human anatomy.

School was fine, but had gone by incredibly fast. She spent the better part of first and second period apologizing to Caleb profusely for the abrupt ending of their study date yesterday. "Abrupt ending" was an extremely generous euphemism seeing as her brother had basically chased him all the way outside to his jeep.

She had been dreading her afternoon in the resident's lounge all day, knowing that she and Caleb's make-out session had likely gone public. Nothing stayed quiet for long at Seattle Grace Mercy West and she had a sneaky feeling that it wouldn't be long before everyone assumed she had been, as Meredith would say, "whoring it up."

Amber took a seat and pulled out her calculus homework. She managed to successfully get through the first set of problems before her mind began to wander. She couldn't help but think about this morning. Why the hell had Alex's ex-wife shown up…with cookies nonetheless?

She had never bothered to ask Alex about why he got a divorce; partially because she didn't want to upset him, and partially because she didn't want to give her brother the illusion that she cared. Why should she? He clearly hadn't cared about his family enough to send them a postcard that he got married.

She knew that things went sour when Izzie got cancer, but only because she had overheard Meredith recall of how Derek performed the surgery that saved her life. You certainly couldn't tell that she had been sick by looking at her now. Izzie was, in Amber's opinion, absolutely stunning. And just by a five minute conversation, Amber could tell how smart and headstrong she was. It was the exact opposite of the girls that Alex went after in high school: the empty-headed, 'Victoria's Secret Angel' type. No, she could definitely see the higher appeal in someone like Izzie.

But then again, why now? This woman had hurt her brother, and for that reason alone, Amber wasn't necessarily okay with them talking again. Furthermore, Lexie had just broken up with him. Maybe it was selfish…but she felt slightly possessive. She had only been reunited with her brother for six months, most of which he spent in a relationship. Why couldn't she be the only girl in his life for just a little while?

Amber's internal debate was cut short as Arizona and Callie entered the room, April trailing behind them.

"I tried to stop them." April announced, out of breath from chasing them across the hospital. "They overheard Jackson and your brother."

"You know this is the resident's lounge, right?" Amber reminded them. "You're attendings."

"Yes, but we came here to see you!" Callie exclaimed happily.

"And why would you want to see me?" She questioned, although the answer was quite obvious.

"I want no part in this." April asserted before up and leaving. This worried Amber slightly. Clearly, something had been planned. She didn't have to wonder for long before Arizona and Callie made themselves comfortable in the seats across from her.

"We heard about your…little mishap yesterday." Arizona informed her.

"By mishap do you mean that I was kissing my boyfriend?"

"Amber, you don't have to play that card with us." Callie responded, grinning slightly. "You're becoming a woman…we're not here to stop you."

"Okay…?"

"We're here to inform you." Arizona interjected.

"Oh jeez." Amber ran her fingers through the underside of her hair, bracing herself for another episode of 'every adult in my life is insane.'

Callie reached into the pocket of her lab coat and produced a small, foil-wrapped package. "Amber do you know what this is?"

"Gee, I don't know. Could it be a breath mint?"

The alarmed stares she received in return alerted her that they were unaware she was joking.

"It's a condom, Callie." Amber verified blandly.

"Oh good. So you've heard of them." Arizona chirped.

Amber rolled her eyes, something she had been forced to do a lot lately. "I'm a teenager, not ignorant."

Arizona and Callie merely exchanged glances and laughed, as if she were the cutest thing they had ever seen.

"Okay, well since things are getting more serious with your boyfriend, we thought you should at least be prepared." Arizona said gleefully, as if teaching sexual education were a recreational event. "Obviously your brother isn't going to be the one to facilitate sexual activity, so we thought you could use some girl talk."

With that having been said, Arizona pulled a banana out from her lab coat. "Do you know how to put one on?"

Amber's eyes doubled in size. "Oh god guys, really?" She asked, exasperated.

"Demonstrations are key." Callie rejoined. "You wouldn't want to get it wrong during the real deal."

Amber placed her forehead against her first, elbow resting on the table. She couldn't even look at the surgeons in front of her. This was ridiculous.

Suddenly, the door opened. For a second Amber thought she was saved by the bell. Unfortunately, it was Mark who barged in.

"Oh, hell no!" He shouted, yanking the banana from Arizona's grasp.

Amber glanced up. Could this day get any more interesting?

"Mark, don't interrupt." Callie chastised her friend. "We're trying to give the 'safe sex' talk."

"This isn't the 'safe sex' talk." Mark argued before snatching the condom from the center of the table and hurling it into the trash can. "This is the 'no sex' talk!"

"Mark, is this really necessary?" Amber attempted to mediate the situation.

"Absolutely." He shot back before pointing a finger in her direction. "You tell that Carlos kid that if he tries anything with you again, I'll give him new face….and it will be an ugly one."

"Caleb. His name is Caleb."

"Whatever. My point stands."

"You people are crazy." Amber huffed. "We were kissing. I'm not going to have sex with him."

"We heard that he was on top of you." Arizona replied.

_Of course you did._ Amber thought. _Because no one would bother to give you the full story._

"That tears it." Mark started up again. "Book me an O.R.; I'm giving a teenager a new face."

The door flew open once more and this time, Alex appeared. Surprisingly enough, this was a bit of a relief. The person she had been dreading the most all day had suddenly become her greatest ally.

"Alex!" She cried, running over and hugging him as if she hadn't seen him in months. "Get me out of here... please."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

The ride home was mostly quiet. Amber filled Alex in on the minor details of her day, a pop quiz in Latin that she aced, a school assembly about storm safety, eating lunch with Fiona and some of her old friends from study group, and other pointless little snippets.

What they didn't talk about was sex. Amber had been mentally preparing herself for it from the moment they got into the car. She came to the conclusion that she was tired of defending herself for something she wasn't even thinking about doing. When Alex tried to give her the talk, she decided, she was going to let him have it.

Much to her dismay, Alex still didn't address her about the issue. Once they got home he only told her to go start her homework before disappearing into his room. He seemed somewhat distracted, most likely about his earlier Izzie encounter.

It wasn't until well into the evening that Amber heard a knock on her bedroom door. She could smell dinner cooking and hear people moving about in the kitchen. Everyone else was already home and their cluster of voices jumbled together in a meaningless hum.

"You got a minute?" Alex asked, tugging on the sleeve of his shirt nervously while leaning in her doorway.

"You can come in." She responded.

Amber was sitting in her desk chair. Alex took a seat on the bed and patted the spot next to him. "Let's talk."

"Glad to see you're finally ready." Amber mocked.

"Amber, I'm trying to be serious." He groaned. "This isn't easy."

"It hasn't exactly been a day at the park for me either."

"I'm sorry if everyone has been embarrassing you." Alex spoke apologetically. "But we're just looking out for you. No one wants to see you grow up too fast. You're too good for that."

"Alex, I'm not going to do this with you." Amber asserted. "I listened to everybody else's crazy ranting because my relationship with them is different. But you? You're my brother. You know everything about me and everything I've been through. We don't need to talk."

"That doesn't change what happened, kid." Alex rejoined. "You say I know you so well? All the more reason I should be just as concerned about you as the others. We _definitely_ need to talk."

"I'm not having sex!" She declared adamantly. "There's nothing to talk about!"

"I believe you, but that doesn't mean you aren't thinking about it." He argued.

"Trust me. I'm not thinking about it."

"It doesn't mean you won't."

"Yes it does." Amber hissed in reply, growing increasingly irritated. Was she going to have to spell it out for him? Why didn't he get it? He was a smart man. Surely he could figure out exactly why she had no interest in being intimate with _anybody_.

"I know you think that now." Alex said soothingly, as if trying to reason with a patient. "But things change in the heat of the moment all the time. What I walked in on yesterday was definitely that type of moment…"

"I'm not saying that isn't true for other people…I'm saying that it isn't true for me."

"Why? How could you possibly know that?" He asked accusingly.

Finally, Amber couldn't take it anymore. Clearly, despite everything he knew about her past, things just weren't piecing themselves together in a coherent picture.

"Because I was raped!" She shouted, leaning forward and making direct eye contact with her brother. "Because the one thing that was mine to give to the boy of my choosing…was stolen from me by a 40-something alcoholic!"

Alex's mouth fell open in realization. He could have punched himself in that moment for being so stupid. All he had been thinking about was what Fiona said to him the other day: that tons of girls Amber's age were having sex. That single idea had been the driving force behind his temporary madness for the past 24 hours. It never occurred to him that Amber had made the decision to wait long ago.

"Amber…"

"Do you even know why I like kissing Caleb so much?" She butted in rhetorically. "Because _for once…_it's nice to not be terrified when someone touches me. Because for the first time in five years, I'm kissing someone by choice instead of being repeatedly taken advantage of by men three times my age."

There was absolutely nothing that Alex could say to empathize with what his sister was disclosing. He could only feel grateful that she finally felt comfortable enough with him to say such things. Therefore, Alex did the only thing that he could. He held out an arm and waited patiently for Amber to scoot down to the edge of the bed and meet his embrace. Once she was in his hold, he wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulder, as if somehow he could shut out everything she had been through. It would never be enough. But at least now, in this moment…she was safe. And she knew it.

"I'm not ready to have sex yet." Amber said softly. Her face was pressed against the shoulder of Alex's grey t-shirt.

"I know."

"Because I haven't forgotten what happened to me yet. I haven't moved past it." She divulged. "And when I finally do have sex…I want it to feel like the first time. It _needs_ to feel like the first time or else he wins."

Alex pulled back and held his sister away at an arm's length, staring at her with an intensity that she had never seen. "I believe you. And I swear…I will never doubt you on this subject again. I'm sorry."

"You didn't know." She countered.

"I knew." Alex replied pointedly. "And I should have thought of it instead of pushing you until you were forced to relive your worst nightmare."

"I relieve it almost every day." Amber whispered. "Tonight I just happened to do it out loud."

"Amber…" He approached cautiously. "Does Caleb know?"

"No." She shook her head.

"It might be time for you to tell him." Alex suggested.

"I can't."

"You have to eventually. Part of a healthy relationship is sharing everything, the good…and the not so good."

"Is that what you and Izzie did?"

Alex sighed. He had been naïve to think she would just let this morning go. She was a Karev after all. "As a matter of a fact, yes. That's why I fell in love with her. She knew everything, good and bad."

"You weren't afraid the bad would scare her away?"

"Every single day." Alex answered truthfully. "But thankfully, in my case, she thought the good was worth it."

"What if Caleb isn't like that?" Amber fretted, more to herself than to her brother.

"Then kick his ass to the curb." Alex ordered. "He's not worth it. He doesn't deserve you, and he sure as hell doesn't deserve your virginity."

"Aleeeex." Amber drawled.

"Sorry sis, but it's true."

"You don't need to worry."

"I know I don't." Alex nodded in approval. "But it makes me feel better to say it."

"I'll think about telling Caleb."

"Good…and try not to be too afraid." Alex comforted her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "If he is half the man that you think he is, he's going to be there for you."

"I hope so." She exhaled.

"And if he isn't, I will be."

"Promise?" She tilted her head upwards and lifted her eyes to meet her brother's.

Alex swallowed, her innocent stare reminding him of when she was a kid. "Always."

* * *

><p><strong>Well that got all serious in depressing in a hurry. I'm so evil. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!<strong>

**I'm heading to the beach and to Florida before I begin my summer job. I'm going to do my best to get most of the chapter written before I leave and I'll finish up the rest while I'm on vacation. I'm hoping I'll be able to do another update like this one, not much more than two weeks, but it's hard to promise anything when I'm going on vacation.**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING. IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME.**

**Please review!**


	27. Release Your Inhibitions

***Sorry for the double upload. I was editing typos and I did it in microsoft instead of in the doc manager, so it was easier to just delete the chapter and put it back up* **

**So sorry for the wait y'all! I finished this chapter several weeks ago and then my laptop decided it was time for an update and restarted the system. Long story short, I lost all the unsaved writing (which was most of it). I was sooo pissed that I had to rewrite some 5,000 words that I couldn't bring myself to do it for a solid 10 days.**

**Anyhow, here it is at last! Hope you guys like it! People have been asking me for some private time between Alex and Amber for ages. I decided to be a people pleaser and finally give it to you. Haha, enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Never had a second seemed quite so long. Alex watched half in admiration and half in fury as Izzie spoke to the frightened pregnant woman before them. Just a few more comforting statements and he would get his answers. It was irritating to say the least that he had to succumb to her little coffee date scheme, but it was the only way he could find out how she managed to pull all of this off, to float back into his life as naturally as a rolling wind.

It didn't take long for the woman to calm down about her impending surgery. Izzie had a magical way about her, a presence that oozed optimism and hope. The poor woman, though. Pregnant with conjoined twins who were attached at the head, one of the rarest cases they had seen in quite some time. Removing them safely was going to be quite the chore and Los Angeles was more experienced with such things. This, he presumed, is what prompted Izzie's arrival.

Twenty minutes later, Alex clutched his order of coffee tightly in his hands. He had to continually remind himself that it was a Styrofoam cup, lest he crush it and send his steaming beverage spurting out.

He couldn't resist giving in to his temper slightly. Anger seemed to be pulsing against his forehead like a battering ram, begging him to open the gate and release its wrath. "So what is this?" He hissed in confusion. "You're stalking me now or something? You come all this way to win me back and I say no, so you get a job here?"

Izzie giggled slightly which only added to Alex's irritation. "Relax, Alex." She spoke calmly, waving her hand as if eluding a mosquito. "I don't work here."

"Why would you….wait, what?"

"I don't work here." She clarified.

"But Dr. Robbins said that you were our new neonatal resident from Los Angeles." Alex protested, attempting to comprehend the contradicting information.

"No, she said I was the neonatal resident _consult_ from Los Angeles." Izzie corrected him. "I'm consulting on your patient. That's it."

"And it just so happens to be at here?" Alex raised an eyebrow, knowing that it was far too convenient.

"I'll admit that part was on purpose. When my boss said she needed someone to go to Seattle, I knew it was a sign…a second chance. I couldn't pass it up."

"Yeah, well I don't believe in signs."

"Yes you do." Izzie gave an all-knowing smile. "You have to…working in a place like this."

Alex exhaled and folded his arms across his chest. He didn't like the fact that Izzie was repeatedly knocking him off his feet. As oddly enticing as it was, it was also a major blow to his ego as well as to his ever-weakening resolve.

He envied her flawless ability to find certainty in this world. It hadn't always been that way. She was once as doubtful as the rest of them, but the more time he spent with her, Alex could see that she meant it when she said she found herself.

He couldn't help but feel, in a metaphorical sense, that he was a spark and she was a flame. He had the ability to ignite…but rarely did. Izzie on the other hand, she was a force of nature. She could be a marvel and a source of destruction simultaneously.

It was the Izzie he fell in love to begin with and that scared the absolute crap out of him. Because something would have to give eventually. It was only a matter of time and he knew that if she stuck around, eventually….at some point…he would fall in love with her again.

Alex shook his head. Those types of thoughts were poison and he didn't have time for that. He was at a crucial point in his career, he was raising his teenage sister, his mother and younger brother were crumbling with illness…no. He most certainly did not have time to hop aboard the Izzie train again. It was a wild ride and he couldn't risk venturing off course.

"So you work in LA?" He parried.

Izzie nodded as she took a sip of her coffee, still appearing completely content. Compared to the internal shambles Alex was in, it was almost as if she were mocking him.

"You like it?"

She paused as she swallowed a large gulp of her drink. "I love it."

"And you said you have a good mentor?" He continued rattling off questions, not knowing what else to do to release some of the tension of the situation.

"She's amazing." Izzie replied smoothly. "At the beginning I was a little intimidated by her, but she's a great teacher."

Alex nodded and stared down at the lid of his coffee, watching steam waft from the small opening.

A muffled ringer began to sound and Izzie glanced down at the phone resting in her lap. "Speak of the devil." She said before picking up the phone and cradling it between her shoulder and her right ear. "Hello?"

Alex listened in and out as Izzie reported patient information and then responded with a chorus of 'mhms' and 'uh huhs.'

It was the very ending of the conversation that jolted him to attention.

"Mhm. Yes…thank you Dr. Montgomery."

Alex's eyes bulged out of their sockets as realization sunk in. "Hold up." He stuttered once she had hung up. "Your mentor is….Addison?"

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber stood awkwardly in spotless kitchen of the old firehouse that now housed Christina. She gawked in amazement at the concept of someone actually living here. It was fantastic; so retro, not to mention a preferable alternative to wasting away all afternoon in the lounge.

She had been mostly out of the loop when it came to Christina's recent O.R. breakdown that caused her to quit her job at the hospital. Amber knew she had taken a leave of absence, but that was basically the only detail she had been graced with. Everyone had been tip-toeing around the subject, speaking on a very hush-hush basis about the whole ordeal. She had forgotten about it entirely until she overheard Meredith and Owen arguing near the nurses' station a few days prior.

It was then that she approached Alex with the idea of a spending some of her afternoons with Christina rather than at Seattle Grace Mercy West. She wasn't anxious to spend a massive amount of time at the hospital and neither was Christina. And as they say, misery loves company. Meredith thought it was a brilliant idea and Alex was fairly impartial himself.

Quite frankly, she had been anticipating a rather timid first session, but Christina had taken on the persona of someone on a powerful sugar rush lately and was elated by her company. Amber watched in apprehensive silence as Christina poured two cups of coffee, her hips swaying to the rock music blaring around the corner.

"Oh…Alex doesn't let me drink coffee." Amber informed her as Christina began to pour a second cup. "Not this late in the afternoon."

"Alex doesn't let you, but Christina does." She lilted in reply before proceeding to dump a mountain of sugar into the brown liquid.

Words of protest sat idly on the tip of Amber's tongue. Ultimately, she decided to swallow them and accepted the mug graciously.

"Okay, so continue." Christina urged, reclaiming her seat next to the young girl. She gaped at her in amusement, as if waiting for her daytime soap opera to resume. "Something about not being able to look at your boyfriend anymore."

Amber choked back a laugh at Christina's excitement. This was clearly the most entertaining part of her week thus far. She was a surprisingly good gossip when it came to teenage matters, a fair listener and never quick to judge. Amber wasn't sure what caused her to do so, but she decided to confide in Christina about this week's dilemma: how to tell Caleb about her past.

Although she had never outright told anybody at the hospital what happened to her with Steve, there had been speculation because of the night terrors she used to have earlier on in the year. Meredith must have mentioned it once or twice because when Amber told Christina the full story, she empathized, but didn't seem all that taken aback.

"Yeah." Amber responded. "It's like…the longer I wait, the more I feel like I'm lying to him."

"So why are you waiting so long?"

_It's not that simple._ Amber thought as she wracked her brain for a fair response. Her hesitance was perfectly justified in her mind, but out loud it seemed to be coming across weakly. "Men don't like girls with baggage."

Christina scoffed and gave a half-hearted fan of her hand. "Everyone has baggage."

"In high school?"

"I'll admit you have more than most." Christina confirmed bluntly, not trying to sugar-coat it. "But so what?" The whole point of this shit-fest we call 'life' is to find someone who can deal with it. You carry theirs, they carry yours. That's the baggage system."

Amber shimmied up onto a stool and leaned against the kitchen bar. Such comments were surprisingly deep for Christina…not to mention about as polite as it gets in her world. "Yeah, that's the problem though." She protested. "He might not want to help me carry it."

"Then he sucks…big time. And you should probably go find someone even hotter who has more emotional damage."

"But what if…"

"You know what? Stop it right there." Christina ordered playfully, before grabbing her arm and yanking her towards the bedroom area.

"Where are you taking me?" Amber attempted to resist, but being that she was only wearing socks, the gentle pulling caused her to glide effortlessly from room to room.

"Stop and dance it out!" Christina shouted over the ridiculously loud music pouring from the speakers of a nearby stereo. She then jumped on top of her bed and began some odd combination of twerking and the 'Carlton dance.'

Amber stood by and watched, unsure if she were capable of letting loose so easily. She didn't get silly around people, at least not very often. Caleb and Meredith were two of the sole few she felt comfortable enough goofing off with.

Christina paused her dancing momentarily to beckon Amber onto the bed. After a few more seconds of pointless resistance, Amber finally resigned herself and hopped aboard.

The two jumped without pause, ignoring the creaks of protest coming from the floorboards beneath them. They giggled wildly, Christina's black curls flying in every direction. They flung their bodies through the air, eyes closed as they sang along to the music. It was possibly the most therapeutic thing Amber had done in quite some time, releasing herself like that. Each time her feet left the bed, for the split second her body lingered in the air, she felt like a blank slate. It was liberating.

They jumped and danced for a substantial period of time, but it felt like only seconds had passed by the time they collapsed onto the mattress, breathing heavily in between bouts of laughter. Amber felt closer to her in that moment, as if their acquaintance had somehow expanded greatly in a mere few hours.

Christina let out a large puff of air and rolled onto her back, her chest rising and falling quickly as she stared up at the ceiling. "Free time is weird." She commented.

"You get used to it."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Thank you." Alex said, handing $20 to the delivery man at their back door. He accepted the stack of pizzas and set them on the counter behind him. "Keep the change."

It was one of the rare nights that the majority of them would be home during the evening, apart from April who got stuck working the night shift. It was far too time consuming, in Alex's opinion, to cook for that many people. Especially after the day he had just had.

Christina had dropped Amber off only twenty minutes ago, even though Alex had been home for well over an hour. He had offered to pick her up, but the two of them seemed hell bent on spending the remainder of the day together. He wasn't going to argue, Amber could use the companionship and he was fairly certain Christina needed it as well.

"So she bought you a fish?" Alex resumed his previous conversation with Amber and Jackson. He was still waiting on the rest of the herd to arrive home, but being that they were starving, they decided to start dinner without them. There would be plenty left over.

"Yes." Amber replied cheerfully as she set a stack of plates on the kitchen table. "I named him Cicero."

After their dance party, Christina had insisted they go to the mall and do what 'normal people' do. They had shopped for furniture and clothes, eaten pretzels, and shuffled through the pet store. It was there that Christina expressed Amber's need for a pet. It seemed odd, but once Christina gets something on her mind, it's best to just roll with it.

"Cicero?" Jackson asked tauntingly.

"Yeah, like the Roman philosopher."

"You have been studying way too much Latin." Alex joined in.

"Per your request!" Amber shot back.

"I'm not complaining." He returned as he carried one of the boxes of pizza over to the table and placed it in the center. The three of them sat down and began to eat together, knowing the other members of their dysfunctional family would likely make an appearance soon. It was silent for a short period as they pledged full attention to their food.

"So are you going to tell me what happened with the coffee date?" Jackson started up the evening conversation, turning towards Alex.

Amber tilted her head in confusion, but didn't say anything. _Date?_ She wondered. _Is he talking about Izzie?_

Alex glanced nervously in his little sister's direction. "It wasn't a date, dude." He answered after swallowing his bite of pizza, mouth still half-full. "It was the only way she would tell me what the hell is going on."

"And?"

"She works out of Los Angeles, but is going to be consulting on cases in Seattle from time to time. She'll probably be here once a month or something like that."

"Oh man…" Jackson breathed. He tried to get a read on Alex's face, but couldn't figure out whether this was a good or bad thing. At the moment, he wasn't coming across particularly happy or sad.

"And get this." Alex continued. "She works for Addison."

"Addison, like Derek's ex-wife Addison?"

"Yep."

Amber set down the piece of pizza she was working on, her appetite vanishing in an instant. The guys were speaking as if she weren't even in the room, not caring that she was learning entirely new information. Not only did her brother have an ex-wife, but Derek too? _Derek_?

"So you went on a date with your ex-wife?" She spoke up, inserting herself into the conversation as a subtle reminder of her presence.

"No, it wasn't a date."

"Not yet anyway." Jackson tacked on, smirking slightly.

"So you _want _to date her?" Amber questioned, attempting to stifle the wave of irritation that passed over her. She was all for Alex rebuilding his relationship with Izzie, but this was too fast. She had barely had time to process her existence, let alone her coming back into her brother's life…and hers.

"I don't know…"

"It sure sounds like you know." She argued, a little too abrasively.

"Amber, what's this about?" Alex inquired, scrunching his forehead.

"Nothing." She muttered, returning her attention to her plate.

"How could you already not like her? You met her once."

_Keep pushing me._ Amber thought, nearing her breaking point. _It won't be pretty._

"I don't dislike her. I don't even know her."

"Okay, so why do you care if it was a date or not?" Alex pushed. He could tell she was upset, but he was tired of trying to decipher her hidden messages. If she had a problem with Izzie, he would rather just know about it.

"Well, I thought you said it wasn't a date." She replied, a little too coyly for Alex's taste.

Jackson watched them like an exciting tennis match, eyes bouncing back and forth between the two.

"Even if it was, what's it to you?" He remarked defensively.

"Don't you get it?" Amber yelled, standing up and slamming her fork down onto the table. She felt a small surge of satisfaction at the resounding crack that echoed through the kitchen. The sound danced across every open surface.

The two men stared back at her in utter shock. Alex was especially at a loss for words. While anger management wasn't exactly number one on her list of character traits, Amber's fits were usually more reserved. She had a more quiet form of anger….at least, usually.

"I don't want you to date her!" Amber proclaimed loudly. "At least not yet!"

Alex opened his mouth to respond, but only air seemed to escape his mouth. He desperately looked over to Jackson who responded with a clueless shrug. "Amber…" He attempted to interject.

"Can't you try being single for like five minutes?" She continued to rage. "Maybe try focusing on your job, or here's a crazy idea…_your family_!"

"Amber, calm down." Jackson tried to mediate.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" She shot back. Jackson sunk back into his seat, realizing he clearly wouldn't get anywhere. When Amber got started, you had to choice but to let her run the course. "I'm sick of coming second to work and your romantic life!"

"Amber, you are not second." Alex asserted.

"Save it." Amber concluded, before shoving her chair in and storming out of the room. She felt the boy's eyes on her until she was out of sight.

Once Alex heard her door slam forcefully, he turned to Jackson, exasperated. "What in god's name was that?"

"That was Amber having a meltdown." Jackson replied half-heartedly. He got up from the table and walked over to the fridge. He then pulled out two beers before making his way back over to Alex and handing him one. "You know how she can be."

"Yeah…but wow." Alex breathed. He took the beer, cracked it open, and waited for the hiss to subside before taking a long sip. Jackson resituated himself on the opposite side of the table.

"You're the one who told me that she was a wild horse. Remember? Jackson reminded him casually.

"At this point she's more like a ticking time bomb."

"Oh come on. She's just being protective. Is that so weird?"

"No…" Alex admitted. "It's just that…up until a month or two ago, she didn't even like me."

"She loves you." Jackson stated plainly. "You're basically the only parent she has."

Alex took another swig of beer before pushing the bottle away, lost in Jackson's last statement. "Yeah, I know."

"So talk to her."

"Can't we just get Derek and Meredith and play rock, paper, scissors like usual?" Alex groaned.

"First of all, I handled the curling iron fiasco of last Tuesday." Jackson reminded him, pointing his beer bottle in Alex's direction. "And second of all, this is clearly about you. She's not going to talk to anybody else and you know it."

"Yeah, yeah." He agreed haphazardly. "It would help if I knew why the hell she's mad this time."

"That would require understanding the female brain." Jackson pointed out.

"I'm a doctor, not a shrink….I understand the female anatomy." Alex countered.

"Yeah, not the same thing."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber paced along the north side of her room, brushing by her window-sill repeatedly. She was half debating climbing out of it. Then again, Jackson made it abundantly clear that her existence would come to a screeching halt if she ever ran away again. Remembering that small detail, she flopped backwards onto her mattress and stared absently up at the ceiling fan.

She glanced over at Cicero who was floating happily on her night stand. The water had taken on a cartoonish tint as it reflected the aqua marbles lining the base. "Any ideas?" She asked.

She raised an eyebrow at the one-finned wave that followed. "Rhetorical question…you're a fish."

A knock on the door sounded and Amber silently prayed whoever it was hadn't heard her speaking to her aquatic pet. Given the mental break down at dinner, that wouldn't help to assert her sanity. "Come in."

"Hey." Alex said, appearing in her open doorway.

"Hi…" Amber responded shyly. She was slightly worried he might be angry at her for the earlier outburst. She had no idea what came over her…she just couldn't seem to stop.

"Put your coat on." He commanded. He didn't sound angry at all. In fact, there was a slight twinkle of excitement in his eye, the kind that usually came from spontaneity.

"Where are we going?" Amber questioned, grudgingly pulling herself up to her feet. She glanced at the alarm clock on her desk and read the time. 9:14.

"Out." He responded shortly.

"I thought I wasn't allowed to go out on school nights."

"We're throwing the rule book out tonight, alright?" Alex informed her. "Let's go. Just you and me."

"Just us?" She inquired, a bubble of excitement rising up in her chest. She felt like such a kid for a brief moment.

"Yes, now get moving, sloth."

Amber giggled. Her prior anger was momentarily replaced by giddiness at the prospect of having her brother's full attention for once.

Alex crossed his arms and stood in the doorway, watching her impatiently as if he had been waiting decades. Amber zipped around her room as quickly as she could, plucking up various items and throwing them in her purse. Finally she yanked on a pair of black boots over her skinny jeans and grabbed the pea coat that had been slung over the back of her desk chair.

"Get your gloves and a scarf too."

"Where are we going? Alaska?" Amber jabbed, glancing over her shoulder at her brother before peering into her closet in search of the items.

"Just do it." He laughed.

A few minutes later, after bidding farewell to everyone who lingered in the kitchen, Amber climbed into the passenger seat of Alex's car. They were mostly silent as they wove through the suburban streets out of their neighborhood. Amber jumped back and forth between excitement and mild annoyance. She was still irritated with her brother, but his effort to give his full attention to her had been noted.

It wasn't a long drive, maybe fifteen minutes, though it was hard to tell with all of the red lights they caught along the way. At last, the busy Seattle streets transformed into twisty gravel paths as they ascended upward into the mountain area. The roads grew darker, a blanket of stars and Alex headlights casting the sole source of light.

Eventually, the car came to a stop in a large, open plot of land. It seemed to go on for miles, stretching out in front of her until the darkness of the grass and the black sky seemed to merge into one entity. The only thing Amber could make out was a wooden platform in front of a large rectangle. A trailer of some sort, she presumed.

She climbed out of the car and stepped into the open, her head pointed upward as she took in the breathtaking sight. Stars were bursting out in all directions, like a million tiny freckles decorating the flawless sky above her. It was one thing she missed about Iowa, being able to see the stars. There was too much light in Seattle, or so she thought.

"Where are we?" She breathed, turning circles to take it all in.

"It's Derek's land." Alex responded as he came to stand next to her. "It's something isn't it?"

"Yeah." She agreed, still lost in her surroundings. Her eyes began to adjust to the darkness and the trailer came more into her view. "Did he ever stay here?"

"A lot of people have stayed here…over time."

"Even you?"

"Even me." He confirmed.

After a few minutes, she finally lowered her head, having seen all there was to see at the current moment. Alex took her hand and pulled her in the direction of the trailer, watching as their breath puffed out visibly before them. It was a cold, February night. The air was crisp and heavy, but boy was it beautiful out.

He took a seat on the metal steps leading up to the entrance. Although it brought back painful memories, he had planned on taking her inside so they wouldn't freeze to death. However, Amber didn't seem to want to leave the open air. It had never occurred to him that she would love this place so much, but it made sense that she did. She had always been an outdoorsy girl.

There had been plenty of nights back in Iowa when Alex had come home late from work to find her lying in the tangled weeds of their front yard, looking up at the night sky. It was usually because their mother had gone on some sort of frenzy, shouting at empty spaces and rattling off conspiracy theories. Amber was too young to understand any of it and too young to run away, so the stars were her refuge…a small piece of beauty in an ugly world.

Amber took a seat next to him and tightened her scarf.

"Be right back." Alex spoke before popping up and stepping inside the trailer for a moment. He took a deep breath and ignored the memories that flooded his brain. It was impossible not to think of Izzie. This place held more meaning to him than anyone could ever understand. Scenes played out in his head as if they were jagged clips of a movie, like an old DVD that had been scratched one too many times. He did his best to push them away as he opened up the storage bin underneath the bed.

He came back outside with a blanket tucked under his arm. He draped it over Amber's shoulders and took a seat. She gave him a weak smile and stared off into the distance. He tried to wait a few more minutes, thinking that she would speak to him when she was good and ready. Clearly they had some issues that needed to be resolved, given her little episode earlier. But Amber wasn't the kind of girl to willingly share her feelings with anybody, much like her brother. She usually only did so when she felt absolutely safe, or when she was forced.

"What's on your mind?" Alex prodded.

Amber tapped her nails against her knee rhythmically. "Not much."

"Oh come on." He pleaded.

Amber shook her head and tilted her eyes towards the sky again, feeling comforted and vulnerable simultaneously. It was so peaceful and quiet that she felt the need to guard her thoughts as if they could be heard.

"I'll tell you what." Alex decided to try a different approach. "We're in the middle of nowhere. So from this moment on, until we get back in the car…you can say anything you want."

Amber perked up at the sound of that. "What?"

"I mean it, anything you want. You can yell, curse, scream, whatever." He elaborated.

"You won't get mad?"

"Nope."

"I won't get in trouble?"

"Not even a little." He assured her.

"I can say anything?" She implored, emphasizing the final word.

"Anything."

Amber took a deep breath as if she were about to let him have it. Alex couldn't help but doubt whether this was his smartest decision. If there was one thing he knew about this girl, she sure could dish it out. She was like him in that department, somewhat underdeveloped when it came to handling confrontation properly.

He watched his sister apprehensively, bracing himself for whatever hateful comments she was about to spew. At last the words came out.

"I'm angry at you." She spoke informatively, staring straight ahead.

Alex glanced around, wondering if he were being punked. He had given her a free pass to say anything she wanted. After years of abandonment and months of blatant resentment, she settled for that?

"That's it?" He sputtered. "You're angry at me?"

"Well…I am."

"Yeah…well, no shit Sherlock. I kind of had that one figured out on my own. You wanna elaborate?" Alex could see her attempting to stifle the smile threatening to cross her face. She did well at hiding it though.

"It would take me all night to list the reasons. As far as I'm concerned, I could probably write a dissertation, Alex."

"Why don't you skip the obvious ones then?"

"By obvious, do you mean you being a dick and leaving for six years?"

"Yes, we can skip the part where I was a bit of a dick…"

"Not just a _bit_ of a dick." Amber corrected him with a mischievous grin, enjoying her temporary freedom to speak without a filter. "If being a dick was an Olympic event, you would have been disqualified under suspicion of using steroids."

Alex smirked. That sounded more like his baby sister. "Did you enjoy that?"

"Very much so."

"Alright, glad to hear it." He commented. "Time to get serious though. Level with me…what made you so mad tonight?"

"Well…recently I guess I'm kind of mad about the whole Izzie thing."

"What, you're mad that I'm talking to my ex-wife?"

"No…" Amber shook her head rapidly, marveling at how dense her brother could be. "All of it…the whole thing."

"I'm not following you."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that she's back in your life because as far as I know, that's the only woman you've ever actually loved."

"But…." Alex pressed her to continue.

"But her being around is like a painful reminder of how you just stopped caring about me like it was the easiest thing in the world."

"Amber." Alex cut in sternly. "I never stopped caring about you. Why the hell would you think that?"

"Get real." She hissed quietly before resuming a look of complete stoicism.

"Amber, don't turn into a wall on me again. Just talk to me! I gave you a free pass, so use it. I'm all ears."

Amber huffed and lifted her eyes. Their usual bright green appearance was clouded, overtaken by worry and confusion. "I used to think about the future a lot." She began, the volume of her voice low and less hostile than before. "I would think about the three of us getting married someday, finding someone special and leaving our crappy lives for nicer ones, happier ones."

Alex listened patiently, never taking his eyes off of his sister. Her features looked soft, contrasting sharply with the terseness of her tone. It made her appear both young and old at the same time, a contradiction he couldn't quite understand.

"I always knew you would grow up and move on. I was just dumb enough to assume I would still be a part of your life." Amber whispered, her eyes dropping towards the floor. "When I thought about my future, you were still there. I pictured you walking me down the aisle….and yet, I wasn't even invited to your wedding. You didn't even tell me you got married. I found out through my social worker of all people."

Alex froze in his seat, speechless for once. He almost always had an excuse, a clever way to justify his actions. There was very little he couldn't attribute to his rough childhood. Anger? Abusive father. Commitment issues? Crazy mother. Trust problems? Foster care. This however, he had no excuse for.

"You just made yourself this brand new family…" She was on the verge of tears now. "And it never occurred to you to keep your old one too."

"Amber…" Alex said, his voice soft and comforting. "Izzie was sick…we didn't exactly have time to send out invitations."

"You didn't have time to call and let us know either?" She inquired, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

He couldn't bring himself to reply. He didn't need to because she knew the answer. He had the time to call them, he just didn't.

"Then again…you didn't have the time to call me for six years, so why would your wedding be any different."

Alex still couldn't find the words. Instead, he looped an arm around her shoulder, silently celebrating when she didn't shrug it off. "I'm sorry."

She glanced up at him, appearing surprisingly satisfied with his answer. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"I'm not saying I forgive you." She clarified. "I'm saying okay. You're not making any excuses…so I believe that you're sorry, which is all I can really ask you to be."

"I am sorry…and I've said before that I don't expect your forgiveness." He replied.

"And I don't know if I'll ever be able to give it to you, not for a while at least. I think a small part of me is always going to be angry."

"I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know."

"So we've got that part covered, but what about the rest?" He asked. They had got the ball rolling this far, so they might as well finish it.

"What rest?"

"The stuff you shouted at dinner."

"Oh that…" Amber rubbed the back of her neck as she replayed her earlier tantrum in her head. It seemed somewhat trivial now after everything she just disclosed. "It's like I said, I don't want you to date her...yet."

"Then I won't." Alex stated simply, not even waiting to hear the remainder of her explanation.

"Don't you even want to know why?" She cut back in.

"I still want you to tell me, but it's not going to change what I just said."

Amber sighed. "I just need some time." She said, phrasing it more like a question. "You've been someone's boyfriend since I've been here. I want you to be my brother, _just_ my brother, for a little bit."

"You know that if I had to choose between you and her…I would choose you, right?"

"You don't have to." She silenced him, not wanting to promote such an ultimatum, not even as an imaginary one. "I want you to be happy. You did some bad things to me…but you've given up even more for me."

"I want you to be okay with whoever I'm with."

"Then just give me some time, alright? Let me get to know Izzie as a person before I get to know her as your girlfriend."

"I can do that." Alex agreed. And he could. It was a simple request really. A fair one too. It bothered him that it had taken such extreme measures to finally coax her true feelings out, but that was the nature of the Karev family.

They kept talking for a while after that, the subject of their conversations changing often and without warning. It was late and cold, but they were both too caught up in the luxury of each other's company to really care. By the time Alex pulled back into their driveway, he could only see one small light on through the window and Amber was fast asleep in her seat.

He considered carrying her inside for a moment. She was incredibly small, always had been. But she was also a teenager, and they hated to be treated too much like children.

"Amber." He jostled her awake softly.

"We home?" She asked, opening one eye. The sleepiness in her voice made her sound about five years younger.

Alex smiled to himself. She had referred to it as that a few times, but more often than not, Amber just called it 'the house.' So hearing her speak of this place at 'home' was music to his ears.

"Yeah, we are, come on."

She pulled herself out of the car and began to walk towards the back door. Alex kept one hand behind her just in case, seeing as her steps resembled that of a failed sobriety test.

Amber made a bee-line for her bedroom, not bothering to change her clothes. She merely pulled off her boots and jacket and collapsed into bed. Something about being woken up from a deep sleep makes even the simplest of actions far too complex, so Alex didn't object. Instead, he pulled the covers up over her torso and cut off her light before heading to his own room to do the same thing.

However, before he could fall asleep, he knew there was something he needed to take care of. After tonight it was more important than ever for him to make his intentions clear; just lay it all out on the line.

No more fooling around. He didn't want to say goodbye to Izzie. In fact, he wanted her back in his life, but he was going to take as much time as his sister needed, that was for damn sure. At the same time though, he couldn't just keep living in this sort of relationship purgatory. It was time to sort things out once and for all.

Dialing the familiar number without a second thought, Alex took a deep breath and waited for an answer.

"Hello?"

Alex collected himself once again. "Hey, I know it's late…but Izzie, we need to talk."

* * *

><p><strong>Once again, so sorry for the wait. I really wanted to have it ready sooner for you guys, but technology can really be a jerk sometimes!<strong>

**Hope you liked it. Pleaseeee review!**


	28. Bruises Make For Better Conversation

**Surprise! I know a lot of you probably thought I discontinued this. Don't worry. There is no chance in hell I would ever stop this story. I'm sorry that I pretty much vanished into thin air. Basically I was starting to receive less and less feedback every chapter and I got kind of discouraged and started wondering if people were getting sick of Second Chances and what not. So I took the summer off.**

**However, all of the sudden people have started reviewing, following and favoriting like crazy, which has completely refueled the fire!**

**I'm back at college now for my junior year. It's gonna be a busy one. I got hired as a writer for our campus paper and I'm up for an internship as well. I've also got a lot of stuff going on with my sorority, so I'm busier than ever. BUT, I will keep finding the time to write Second Chances because the feedback I'm getting is amazing and I'm overjoyed to have created a story that so many people love.**

**Please enjoy the hell out of this long-overdue update! Y'all are awesome!**

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><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"No, I'm not wasting another minute talking with some minimum-wage secretary who can't give me the answers I need. Put someone on the god damn phone who can tell me what I have to do to override this!" Alex shouted into the receiver, knocking a stack of envelopes off the kitchen table in the process.

The corporate jargon that followed was nothing more than a loud ringing in Alex's mind. The answer was becoming clear: there was nothing he could do.

"Yeah, thanks for nothing." He hissed in closing before chucking the phone down onto the table. The crash it caused would be enough to alert the entire house to his distress, but he didn't care.

"Alex, what the hell?" Meredith questioned in exasperation as she appeared in the doorway.

"Just leave me alone." He replied, rubbing the heels of his palms against his eyes.

"No. Not until you tell me what this is about."

"It's about this." He grunted, snatching up a neatly folded piece of mail and thrusting it into Meredith's hands. She unfolded it and stood in silence as her eyes darted across the page, rapidly taking in the words.

"They delayed your hearing?" She inquired.

"Three months. Apparently getting shot is a cause for concern in awarding permanent custody." He spat in disgust. "As if she hasn't been through enough."

"But this is going to be okay, right?" Meredith soothed. "In three months you'll apply again and then it will be a done deal."

"Maybe." He huffed. "But you don't get it. Anything can happen in those three months. Temporary custody is just that…temporary. Until it's permanent, they can change their minds. If they decide I'm unfit now…"

"That is not going to happen."

"Even if it doesn't, this isn't going to look good to a judge. They might as well put a sign around my neck advertising health problems. It's going to make adoption a nightmare."

"Wait a second." Meredith stopped him. "Adoption? You're planning on adopting her?"

Alex hesitated. He hadn't meant for that to slip out. He had been planning on it for quite some time now, but he didn't want to get his sister's hopes up in case it didn't work out the way he wanted. A single man who works up to 80 hours a week sometimes? That didn't necessarily bow in his favor. Then there was the issue of getting his mother to relinquish her maternal rights. He didn't even want to think about that.

"Adoption is the only way I can be sure she won't be taken away. Even if I got permanent custody, she's not my kid. Our mom is still out there and a lot can happen before Amber turns 18. If I go through with an adoption, she is _mine_…our mother would have no claim over her ever again."

"Nobody is trying to take her away from you, Alex." She reasoned. "Social services just wants to make sure there aren't any complications before they give her to you."

"Try telling that to Amber." He shot back, his voice rising slightly. "That girl still has nightmares about our mom coming back for her."

Meredith folded her arms and considered her words carefully. Alex was freaking out, understandably so. But she knew as well as anybody that it was often next to possible to calm him down with actual sound reasoning and logic. "Bastards." She mumbled, knowing that was likely what he wanted to hear.

"Damn right." He agreed before sighing and leaning back in the kitchen chair, allowing the two front legs to leave the tile floor so he could rock slightly. It wasn't fair. Things had been going so well the last week. After Alex and Izzie had decided to slow things down a little, Amber seemed more comfortable than ever. She had been spending a lot of time with Alex during the evenings, seemingly enjoying her temporary role as the primary girl in his life. She was completely open to spending time with Izzie during the weeks she worked in Seattle. She had even gone out with Izzie by herself, _twice_, over the weekend. It was casual, but it was a step in the right direction. And on Wednesday, the three of them had made a homemade pizza from scratch, laughing and joking in the kitchen like a real family. It felt so natural…_but this_. This was sure to throw things out of whack.

As strong and independent as Amber was, her life had been unpredictable for so long that the smallest change seemed to disorient her. It was completely reasonable all things considered, and Alex had done his best to create a stable, predictable environment for her. And now it was being threatened.

"What am I going to tell her?" He groaned.

"Tell her that you're going to fix it." Meredith advised.

"What if I can't?"

"You can. And even if you think you can't, tell her you will anyway."

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><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber fought her way through a wave of students, attempting to make it out of the doorway of her biology class room. Why did her peers always feel the need to flee from final period? Like if they didn't make it out of school in the first few minutes, a gate would fall down and trap them there forever.

Shoving her body through the thick of the crowd, Amber scanned the masses for her boyfriend. By the time she reached the outside walkway, she felt fatigued. It was mostly from nerves. She had told Caleb she had something important she wanted to discuss with him. Things were getting more and more serious between them and it was becoming physically painful to harbor secrets from him any longer. Alex was right, a relationship should be built on trust…and it was about time she started trusting Caleb.

She spotted him near the bike racks, his hair appearing more blonde than usual as the high-afternoon sunlight glistened off it. Amber couldn't help but notice that he practically seemed to glow. As she approached, he opened his arms, waiting for her to greet him with an embrace.

"Are you alright?" He whispered, his mouth close to her ear as he held onto her.

She nodded. "Can we go somewhere?"

"Like where?"

"The stadium maybe…somewhere private." Amber swallowed. She had been dreading this conversation, mainly out of anxiety that he would decide her baggage was much more trouble than she was worth.

The walk to the soccer field was completely silent. It was obvious that she was making Caleb nervous, but she hadn't yet summoned the courage to explain the reasoning behind her odd behavior.

"Are you breaking up with me or something?" Caleb finally sputtered once they reached the bleachers. The two sat down so that their knees were touching.

"What?" Amber asked. "No…oh god no."

"Then what is it?"

Amber sighed and looked around, double checking that they were alone. She chewed the inside of her cheek nervously as she gathered her thoughts. "You've never asked me about my past." She settled on, speaking plainly as if about to begin a casual conversation.

Caleb scrunched his forehead in confusion and waited to see whether she would elaborate. After several moments of silence, he prompted her to continue. "Yeah?"

"Like…not once have you wondered why I just randomly came to your school and moved in with my brother."

"I wonder that all the time." He chuckled. "I just never know if it's appropriate to ask."

"Because you think it was something bad that made me come here…" She stated, phrasing it almost like a question.

"Yeah…kind of." He admitted.

Amber glanced over her shoulder, gazing out at the soccer field.

As she tried to piece together the events of her past into one fluid story, she kept recalling the day she signed up for the local youth soccer team back in Iowa. She had just turned nine and Aaron was working doubles to compensate for Alex's absence. Alex was still a first year intern at the time, and the money he sent was nice, but not enough to fully support all of them. She had no desire to play soccer whatsoever. She had never particularly liked the sport, but it was the only afterschool activity offered in her town to all ages. And more importantly…it was the only thing that could keep her from having to go home in the afternoons.

"Amber?" Caleb snapped her out of her trance. He was getting kind of worried now. He had been waiting for this moment since early on in their relationship. He wasn't one to pry, but it didn't mean he hadn't thought about what might have happened. He knew that her father had walked out on her when she was very young, but that was the extent of his knowledge. Now, he was getting the sneaky feeling that whatever secrets his girlfriend had were even worse than he had imagined.

"Well you're right." Amber confirmed, the volume of her voice dropping significantly. "It was something bad."

Caleb placed his hand on her leg, right above her knee. He had absolutely no idea what to say, but he was determined to let her speak at her own pace. He would sit in the stadium all night if necessary. She smiled weakly at the gesture and took a deep breath, searching for an ample starting point.

"You know…I hated soccer when I was little." She spoke up.

Caleb blinked, slightly surprised by her first choice of words, but he smiled and attempted to roll with the punches as smoothly as possible. "Oh, yeah?"

"Back when Alex still lived at home, I was really into swimming. There was a YMCA really close to where he worked his afternoon job and he knew one of the coaches." Amber kept her eyes straight ahead as she spoke, focusing on the scoreboard rather than Caleb. "My carpool would drop me off and I would stay there and swim until Alex got off work. Then he would pick me up and take me home."

"I didn't know you liked to swim."

"I did." A small smile threatened to escape across her face, but it quickly vanished as a more troubling thought took precedent. "But when Alex moved here for his internship, I had to quit. My other brother, Aaron, was working two jobs and would always forget to pick me up so I eventually just stopped."

Caleb was about to comment at the mention of Aaron. He had no clue that Amber had another brother. For a second, he contemplated asking where he was now, but thought better of it in the end.

"So I started coming home in the afternoons." Amber continued. Her eyes visibly darkened and she took in a shuddering breath in preparation. "That was when they started showing up."

"Who?" Caleb pressed. He could feel his heart-race actively increasing as his stomach twisted into knots.

"The boys." She muttered. "My mom usually had a different one every week."

Caleb's heart dropped into his stomach as realization sunk in. Several emotions clouded his mind at once. The worst thing about it was that everything his girlfriend was about to tell him had already happened…there was nothing he could do to help or stop it. All he could do was listen.

"My mom's been a paranoid schizophrenic for as long as I can remember." She divulged at last. "Alex was pretty good at taking care of her, but once he left, Aaron dropped the ball and things when downhill from there. She started self medicating with whatever was easiest. Drugs, alcohol…men."

Amber twirled a loose thread on her jeans around her pinky, watching as the skin turned white before unraveling it. She did this repeatedly as she allowed words to flow freely from her mouth.

"I was so young and stupid that I thought it was accidental at first…them walking in on me while I was in my towel…or brushing against me in the kitchen."

There was nothing that could be said in return. Caleb moved his hand so that it was on top of Amber's. He held on tight, but no words of comfort came to mind.

"Then my mom got into more hardcore drugs and the men she brought home kept getting worse. Aaron started working later shifts and I had no one." She breathed, a small whimper escaping at the last few words. "When the youth center started a soccer team, I joined the next day. I was willing to do anything to keep from coming home in the afternoons."

Caleb turned his head away as much as he could without drawing attention to himself. Everything Amber said was playing out vividly in his head. It was difficult not to become emotional.

"And it worked for a while." Amber commented. "Most days, Aaron was back by the time I got home in the evenings. The worse that ever happened to me then was just some awkward touching, or more encounters in my towel."

Silenced resumed after that. Amber stole a short glance at her boyfriend's face. She could see that his eyes were glassy, but apart from that, he seemed to be taking everything in as well as could be expected. He hadn't run for hills yet, so that was good enough.

At last, after what must have been a few solid minutes, she steeled herself for the worst part, the part she rarely spoke of out loud.

"But when I got into high school…Aaron just sort of stopped coming home. That was when my mom met Steve." The name felt poisonous as it rolled off her tongue and Amber had to choke back a few tears of her own. "No matter how late I came home, he was always waiting for me."

"Did he…" Caleb began to ask, but quickly stopped himself.

"I was 14 the first time." She whispered, not needing to hear the question to know what was being asked. "I could usually fight him off, depending on how drunk he was, but not always."

And there it was. Out in the open. His girlfriend had been raped. Multiple times probably. For a moment, Caleb thought he might actually empty the contents of his stomach all over the stadium bleachers, but he managed to hold it in.

"Then one night he and my mom got _so_ high together. She was unconscious and Steve was so far gone that I don't think he even knew where he was when he climbed into my bed that night. When I tried to fight him off, he got really violent and the neighbors heard and called the cops. I was sent here less than a week later."

She looked up from her jeans, having said all she cared to. There were so many things that she hadn't told him: the nights her father used to beat her mom to a pulp, the other men before Steve…the time Aaron tried to kill her. But those stories would come out at a later time if she and Caleb stayed together. If being the key word. She had, in her opinion, told him the worst of it. He wanted to know her, know her on an intensely personal level. Well now he did, but she had said plenty for one day.

"I understand if this is too much." She mumbled. "I don't expect you to be okay with all of this."

Caleb remained silent, suffering from a combination of shock and information overload. Processing what he had just heard had left him in a nearly catatonic state.

"If you would rather just end it I…."

That statement jolted him back to reality and he quickly swooped in so that his eyes were deadlocked with Amber's. "What are you talking about?"

"I get it if I'm too messed up…too much baggage."

Caleb cupped her face in his hands, caressing her cheek slightly. She felt so vulnerable at that moment that she didn't want to look directly at him, but he was persistent.

"Amber, I love you." He announced emphatically.

"You what?"

"You heard me, I love you." He repeated, his hands still on the sides of her face. "I'm sure I'm not the only one who has told you this, but _none_ of what happened to you was your fault."

She shifted her eyes downward. That statement was all too familiar.

"Hey." He requested her attention. She lifted her eyes to meet his once more. "I'm here for you…really. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm broken." Amber replied meekly. "This isn't fair to you. Don't you want someone normal?"

"I want someone smart, someone strong, someone who brings out the best in me." Caleb cut back in. "I want someone real."

"I'm _too_ real. Way too real for a high school romance. You're 16. Why would you want to waste your teenage years with a sob story like me anyway?"

Caleb ran his hair through his hair, causing his dirty-blonde locks to flip up at the edges. "Yeah, I get it. We're 15 and 16." He grumbled. "I know the chances that we stay together forever are slim, but I still care about you, alright? Just because we aren't adults doesn't mean I shouldn't stand by you."

Amber cursed herself internally for repeatedly putting her foot in her mouth. Why was she systematically attempting to run him off when he was trying his best to be supportive? The world may never know.

"I just don't want you to ever regret being with me."

"Why would I ever regret being with you?" He spat out, sounding both compassionate and slightly annoyed at the same time.

"Because you have to understand that I can't be like normal girls. I went through some horrible things. I'm not going to be willing to do…._stuff_…at least not for a long time."

Caleb snorted at that last remark. "You seriously think I'm worried about sex right now?"

Amber slapped her palms to her face, flustered to the point that she could barely respond. "I don't know what I think! I've never had a boyfriend before. I've never had to tell anyone what happened to me before. I'm sorry, I'm not good at this."

Caleb's demeanor softened immediately and he moved to put his arm around her. "It's alright. I get that you don't know what to think…so why don't I just tell you."

He paused for a brief moment before beginning a flurry of statements. "I don't care about sex right now. I don't think you're too much work. I don't think you're too messed up. I don't think you're crazy. I think you're a strong girl who got dealt a really shitty hand. And I think that what we have now feels right and I'm not leaving. So quit trying to scare me off."

It took a moment for all of the words to officially sink in. However, once they did, for the first time all day, a smile spread across Amber's face. "Caleb?"

"Hm?"

"I love you too."

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><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Tell me what to do." Alex requested, his body sinking into the corner of the couch. He shoved his arm back into the box of Fruit Loops in his lap and pulled out a handful before passing it over to Meredith.

"Yeah, like that ever works." Meredith teased, snatching a handful of her own and dropping a few pieces into her mouth.

Alex made a face before looking down at the cell phone in his lap. He hadn't heard from Amber, but for once, he was hoping she would come home later so he could have more time to figure out what to say.

His phone beeped. He picked it up and scanned the text message he had just received. Izzie was leaving for L.A. in the morning and wanted to know if she could stop by before heading to the airport tomorrow.

"Is that Amber?" Meredith sat up a little straighter.

"No, it's Izzie."

"So what's going on with you two anyways?" Meredith asked. She had been dying to know the details for a while, but could never seem to find any time to speak with Alex alone. All she knew was that one day Amber was freaking out about him having another girlfriend, and the next day he and Izzie were acting completely casual. They weren't doing anything romantic, but they most definitely appeared happy.

"We're….in a transitional stage, I guess you could call it." Alex responded with a shrug. "I'm getting to know her again and she's getting a chance to know Amber."

"You two were on the phone for a long time last week."

"Eavesdrop much?" Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, eavesdropping requires listening to the conversation." Meredith defended herself. "I merely observed that you were on the phone until odd hours of the night. I have no clue what was actually said."

"But you're hoping I'm going to tell you." He smirked.

"Yes please."

Alex exhaled and scratched the back of his neck, wondering how odd their arrangement was going to come across considering their past. "We were just trying to…define things I guess. I mean, I told her that Amber needed some time to get used to the idea and quite frankly so do I."

"How'd she feel about that?"

"She seemed cool with it. We agreed that whenever she's in town, she'll spend time with us and we'll talk on the phone some when she's in L.A."

"For how long?" Meredith inquired nosily.

"As long as it takes." He answered firmly. "I'm not looking to do things the same way and make the same mistakes twice. After all, that's the definition of insanity, right?"

Meredith paused, analyzing what this meant. "So you're really going to do this again, huh?"

"I think so." Alex revealed. "I can't tell you when, but….yeah…eventually."

"You sure?"

"No…but I love her." He rejoined. "I hate it that I love her, but I do and I can't change it."

Meredith nodded but didn't add anything further.

"Does that make me crazy?" He implored, reaching back into the cereal box.

"Probably." She returned sheepishly.

Alex laughed and popped a small handful of Fruit Loops into his mouth.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt anymore." Meredith commented.

"I feel like this time is different…maybe." He said dubiously. "I feel like she's different."

Meredith nodded receptively. "And you're different too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you are. And you know it."

Alex exhaled through his nose and released the tension in his shoulders, slouching backwards against the leather cushions. One thing he liked about talking with Meredith more than anyone else was that they never needed closure on a topic. When a conversation was over, they both just knew it. They never said anymore than they needed to.

"Think she'll be home soon?" Meredith entreated, switching topics.

"Most likely. She was going to have her talk with Caleb so I guess it kind of depends how much she wants to tell him."

"So basically if her talk with Caleb went well, we're going to make a good day bad…" She began.

"And if it didn't go well, we're going to make a bad day worse." Alex finished.

"Rough."

As if directly on cue, Alex heard the back doorknob begin to jingle. "Speak of the devil." He muttered. He couldn't bring himself to stand up and go meet her in the kitchen. Instead, he sat frozen on the couch with Meredith next to him, like two deer caught in the same set of headlights.

Amber trotted into the den happily. She seemed somewhat spacey, but in a pleasant manner.

"I take it things went well?" Meredith piped up first.

"I have so much to tell you." Amber gushed. "Where's Lexie? Let's go upstairs and I'll fill you guys in."

"Um…" Meredith hesitated slightly, glancing over at Alex who sat wordlessly next to her.

"What's wrong?" Amber inquired, her smile dropping as she sensed the unease among the two adults in the room.

"Can we talk for a quick second?" Alex asked.

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><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

The conversation that followed hit Amber like a ton of bricks. Maybe, in actuality, it wasn't that big of a deal. Three months really wasn't that long, and it was possible that the courts would still rule in Alex's favor. However, that conversation was the straw that finally broke the camel's back.

She would never admit it out loud, how much she had been looking forward to having a piece of paper that said this living arrangement was permanent. Seattle had become her home, and no matter how much love she felt, she still could never shake the feeling that it was temporary. And she never would be able to rid herself of that feeling until her social worker told her that it was a done deal…but that wasn't going to happen this week.

In fact, if what she knew about the system was true, because of Alex's new health status…it might _never_ happen. She couldn't handle the idea of having to wait another three months, and even worse, she couldn't handle the idea of it all being taken away from her.

"I need to get out of here." She stated, making a direct line towards the back door.

"Amber, hold up." Alex caught her arm. "I'm going to fix it." He asserted frantically, doing his best to heed Meredith's advice.

"How?" She threw her hands into the air in frustration. "We can't go back in time and stop that psycho from ever shooting up the hospital! It happened…and there's nothing we can do about it."

"We'll….we'll figure something out." Alex attempted to soothe her, tightening his grip on her arm as she tried to walk towards the door again.

"Just let me go." She whispered. "I just need some time alone."

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere I can see the stars…" She mumbled.

For a moment, Alex was confused. It was 4:00 in the afternoon. There wouldn't be any stars for several hours. Then it hit him, like a little code that only he could understand. "Do you want me to drive you?"

Amber shook her head. "I'll get a ride."

Much to her surprise and bewilderment, Alex released her without a fight. Maybe it was because he trusted her, maybe it was because he knew how she got when she was upset, but for whatever reason, he let her go.

"Take your phone." He ordered politely. Once she had nodded in agreement, he sighed and kissed the top of her head before giving her a gentle shove in the direction of the back door. Before he had time to say a goodbye, she was sprinting down the driveway.

By the time she reached Caleb's house, she was positive she looked a complete mess. It was probably silly for her to run all the way to her boyfriend's house when Alex had offered to drive her himself, but she just couldn't bring herself to sit in the car with her brother for that long. He would want to talk more, and she just couldn't handle that. Caleb was different. He would drop her off without pushing for her to say anything. That much she was sure of.

Amber rang the doorbell and gave a last-minute attempt at smoothing out her hair. Caleb answered and before he could get a single sentence out, she cut in.

"I need you to take me somewhere." Amber requested, almost entirely out of breath from the run. "And you can't ask me why."

To her surprise, Caleb agreed. And even after everything she had dumped on him that day, he didn't ask a single question. Even as they left the suburban streets of Seattle and climbed into the mountains, he said nothing. It wasn't until they had pulled into Derek's plot of land that he finally uttered, "This place is beautiful."

"I'm sorry for just showing up like that." Amber apologized, suddenly feeling slightly embarrassed. She rubbed her shoulder and glanced at the open space sprawled out in front of her. "I just needed someplace to be alone with my thoughts and this was the first place I could think of."

"You don't need to apologize." Caleb assured her. "Do you want me to come pick you up later?"

"That's okay…I'll call Alex when it starts to get dark."

Caleb hesitated slightly. He didn't like the idea of leaving her out here alone, but it seemed secluded enough that it was probably safe. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"I'm sure." She confirmed. "I just really need some time out here."

Caleb took that as his cue to back off. After giving her a quick peck on the cheek, he reluctantly retreated to his car and headed back down the road. Watching in his rearview mirror as Amber twirled a few times, surveying the land. Eventually he rounded the bend and she disappeared from his view.

Amber walked slowly through the grass, allowing the pure mountain air to caress her exposed skin. There were no words to describe the relief she felt, standing out there in such a secluded space. It was as if she were recharging. It had been a trying, emotional day. Confiding in Caleb had been no easy task and she had come home to find that one of her worst fears may someday become a reality.

She grew so lost in her own thoughts, surrounded by the beauty of Derek's land that it took her nearly 20 minutes to notice the car parked off in the distance towards the waterside, the windshield shaded by the cover of a cluster of trees. For a moment she was frightened, but after reasoning with herself for a few moments, she inferred that it was likely someone Derek knew. After all, who could find this place by chance?

She began to walk towards the car. About half-way there, she caught sight of a figure sitting on a large rock. Whoever it was seemed encapsulated by the sight of the water, not noticing as Amber drew closer.

Once she was directly behind the mystery visitor, Amber cleared her throat and whoever it was spun around. She blinked a few times, taking in the face before her before their identity officially resonated.

"Izzie?" Amber asked, absolutely stunned.

"Amber." Izzie returned, seeming somewhat shocked, but not all that affected. "What a pleasant surprise."

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><p><strong>I really hope you guys enjoyed this! Sorry for the wait, but I'm so happy to be back!<strong>

**For all of you Izzie fans, the next chapter is going to have a pretty awesome scene between her and Amber. I'm going to do my best to not leave you hanging for too long.**


	29. What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

**I feel like I begin every chapter by apologizing for being such an unreliable updater. But seriously, I'm sorry. Just to assure everyone once more: I have no intentions of stopping this story, but I also can't make any promises of how often I can update.**

**In all seriousness, this semester does look a little easier than the last. My classes aren't so bad and I have an internship on the side so I'm not taking a full course load. So, yay?**

**To get mushy for a second, I can't say thank you enough to everyone who has stuck by me, even when I go months without uploading a chapter. Your support means the world to me and I know that there are several of you who have been with me since chapter one. I honestly feel like you guys are my friends even though we only communicate via reviews.**

**I really hope you guys like this chapter! I spent a hot minute on it, trying to make it extra awesome since I took so long. Much love!**

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><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber tugged on the scarf that was looped around her neck, suddenly feeling warmer than when she first stepped out of Caleb's car. Her gaze anxiously sought out any focal point that would allow her to look away from Izzie, who remained annoyingly calm despite the awkwardness of the situation.

"Did my brother send you here?" Amber finally spoke up, unable to hide the trepidation in her voice.

Izzie laughed lightly. "No…why would he?"

"It was kind of out of character for him to just let me flee into the mountains on my own…" Amber began, pausing momentarily when she realized the ridiculousness of her last statement. "When I saw you, I figured he'd called you for back up."

"As much as I would have liked that, I think I can safely say that I'm one of the last people your brother would call for back up."

"Why would you say that?"

"He doesn't trust me with you yet." Izzie confessed. "If he wanted back up, he would have called someone else."

Amber only nodded, knowing it was the truth. She was almost surprised that Jackson wasn't already here when she arrived, lounging in the grass as if he had stumbled upon her by chance.

"Do you want to join me?" Izzie asked, gesturing to the rock she was resting on. Seemingly unaffected by the surprise company, she hadn't bothered to stand yet.

Amber hesitated for a moment. It was an odd situation to say the least, but she couldn't necessarily turn her down without being rude. It wasn't that she didn't like Izzie. To her astonishment, she actually did, although she would never admit it to anyone. It was just that she didn't particularly feel like talking. However, worried that she was taking too long to decide, Amber obliged and took a seat.

The rock was cold, even through the seat of her jeans. Amber resituated herself and tugged the edge of her jacket so that it would stretch beneath her. Neither of them said anything, allowing her the opportunity to listen to the gentle sound of water lapping up against the rocks. The noise came incrementally, almost on a timed schedule. It reminded her of listening to the ticking of a clock in a silent room. Peering up at the lake, Amber placed her arms behind her body and leaned back slightly, allowing herself to relax and enjoy the scenery. The last remaining bits of sunlight danced across the reflective surface, causing it to twinkle in such a way that it didn't even seem real.

"So why are you here?" Amber blurted out, catching even herself off guard. She hadn't meant to say it, but it had been eating at her from the second they found each other.

For the first time since Amber had met her, Izzie seemed a little bit surprised, although it didn't take long at all for her to collect herself once more.

"I'm sorry…too personal?" Amber offered her an out.

"No it's not that. I just…don't really know the answer." Izzie admitted, glancing over towards the trailer.

Silence resumed, but it was no more than a few moments before a light bulb went off in Amber's head. "You and Alex lived here…didn't you?"

That was twice in the same day that Amber had managed to take Izzie by surprise. This time, it took her slightly longer to recover. "How did you know that?"

Amber shrugged. "Alex told me that he stayed here at one point…and I just kind of figured."

"Smart girl."

"I get that a lot." Amber replied, eliciting a small laugh from Izzie.

"Yes...we lived here."

"When you were sick?" Amber inquired. For some reason, she didn't feel the need to sensor herself with Izzie. It was odd, seeing as they had only known each other for a few weeks. And it wasn't because of something cheesy, like that she felt instantly comfortable with her or anything of the sort. It was more because she knew that unlike anyone else, Izzie would almost certainly be honest with her.

"I'm going to need you to tell me how you knew that before I get really freaked out." Izzie retorted, only half joking.

"Just a feeling." Amber shrugged. "You seem almost sad when you look around."

Izzie nodded in understanding, impressed at the young girl's attention to detail. She was like her brother in that way; vigilant and inquisitive.

"Is that why you came here?" Amber asked, feeling increasingly curious. "To remember?"

"Maybe." Izzie replied, surveying her surroundings again before staring back out at the water. "You know, I experienced a lot of hurt here...but there were good memories too. It was the place where I really discovered the depth of my relationship with your brother."

"Depth?"

"Like...the kind of love where you realize you honestly can't live without the other person."

"So is that why you're sad?" Amber entreated once more. She knew she was asking too many questions, but she couldn't help it. For some unknown reason, she felt an intense longing to understand. "Because you don't have that kind of depth anymore?"

Izzie smiled. She honestly adored Amber, even having only known her for such a short time. She loved the youthful curiosity, the small hint of innocence, the desire to understand the wounds of those around her. "Maybe." She replied once again. "But I'm hoping someday I can get it back."

The statement was uttered with such poise, that there was no room left for further discussion. A peaceful silence resumed, and Amber managed to stay quiet despite the millions of questions swarming inside her head. This time it was Izzie who spoke up.

"So now that we've psychoanalyzed me...can I ask why _you're_ sad?"

"It's just been one of those days."

"That's vague." Izzie prodded.

"I can give you the less vague version." Amber offered. "But I'm not sure if you really want to know."

"I can handle it."

"Well for starters, today I told my boyfriend that I was raped by someone my mom used to get high with." Amber informed her bluntly.

"I see." Izzie answered calmly, doing her best not to give too strong of a reaction. She had a feeling that Amber wouldn't take too well to receiving pity from someone she barely knew.

"I also told him that my mom is a paranoid schizophrenic and that Alex basically abandoned me when I was eight."

"And what did he say?"

"He told me he loved me." Amber replied incredulously.

"Sounds like a pretty good outcome to me."

"Better than I was expecting."

"Trust me, if he's sincere about it, he's a keeper." Izzie urged. "You'd be surprised how few people stick around once you go through something horrible."

Amber bobbed her head vigorously, agreeing completely. It was actually one of the first negative comments she had ever heard leave Izzie's mouth. In a twisted way, she liked it. It made Izzie seem more like a real human and less like the talking mass of hope and optimism she usually was.

"So what's the problem then?" Izzie pressed further.

"Problem?"

"Like I said, that seems like a pretty positive outcome. So what's got you so down?"

Amber shifted her focus downward and sucked in a deep breath as all of the briefly suppressed worry came storming back into her mind. "It was a perfect outcome." She practically whispered. "And then I get home and I find out everything is all screwed up with the custody hearing."

"Screwed up how?"

"I guess they delayed it three months because of Alex's medical condition from the shooting."

Izzie opened her mouth to reply, but Amber cut her off before she got the chance.

"And please don't tell me it's all going to work out in three months, because you don't know that. I may have been young when I was in the system, but that doesn't mean I don't know how it works. Everything...all of this...could be taken away from me just like that."

"That's scary." Izzie sympathized, at a loss for what else she could possibly say.

The answer seemed to somewhat soothe Amber. She gathered her thoughts for a few moments before making hesitant eye contact with the older woman before her.

"Until it's permanent, I can't forget about my old life."

"Well there's your first mistake." Izzie responded almost instantly.

"Huh?"

"You don't want to forget about your old life."

Amber gaped at her as if she had just spontaneously sprouted another head. "And why is that?"

"Why would you want to forget something that made you stronger?"

For a moment, Amber couldn't reply. It was such a simple statement, no more than a few words, and yet, it carried more meaning than she had the immediate ability to understand. Strength was a rather ambiguous concept in her opinion, its definition entirely dependent on perception.

Was it really strength that had emerged from the shambles of her past? Over time, she had come to view herself like a shattered piece of fine China: something that was once beautiful and delicate, but had since been broken into a thousand jagged fragments that would never quite fit together again.

But...strength. Now, there was a wild concept. She had never viewed herself as a strong person, but flashing back to years, months, and even days prior, those pieces seemed to come together. It was as if she were watching her own life on tape and _really_ seeing who she was for the first time. She could see herself fighting back against Steve, even as he crawled into her bed night after night. She saw herself standing up to an armed man in a desperate attempt to save Meredith's life. She saw herself putting her heart on the line, and even after being hurt so many times in the past, telling Caleb about everything that happened to her.

She saw strength.

"You really think it made me stronger?" Amber sputtered out, barely able to speak as vivid images continued to play out in her mind,

"I think it sounds like you had a pretty crappy life for a while and you never let it break you." Izzie answered softly. "That's pretty much all strength is."

Amber couldn't bring herself to answer, suddenly feeling entirely overwhelmed. An epiphany of that magnitude was difficult to take in at once.

"You know..." Izzie began, speaking so quietly that her voice almost blended in with the sound of rushing water. "I'm sure you get this a lot, but you remind me so much of your brother. He always managed to put up this tough front, but underneath it all, he was just a wounded boy hoping for a new life."

"I used to hope for a new life all the time." Amber rejoined passively. "I guess I never really stopped...some childish fantasy or something."

"Let me tell you something." Izzie began, suppressing a slight smile as a feeling of déjà vu washed over her. "It's not childish to hold on to hope. It's actually hard…very, very hard."

She stared at Izzie then, _really_ stared at her. She took in everything she knew and everything she could see. Here stood a woman: beautiful, confident, compassionate, unmoved. It was baffling that a year earlier she was considered a lost cause. People gave up on her, Alex said. Not only in her fight with cancer, but even later on, in her ability to recover.

Amber had never really had a strong female to look up to. She had Meredith, but deep down, she knew that Meredith's wounds were far too similar to her own for her to be a suitable role model. Izzie on the other hand, Amber couldn't help but feel that she might be a different story.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

It was a few minutes shy of 11:00 by the time Izzie dropped Amber off that night. They had sat by the water talking until nearly every limb of her body had gone numb from the cold. Alex had dutifully called as soon as the sun went down, but once he found out she was with Izzie, he backed off entirely. The two girls went to eat at a hole-in-the-wall pizza parlor in the downtown area and sat there, losing track of time and delaying the inevitable return to their lives.

Izzie waited until Amber had unlocked the back door and taken her first step inside the house before pulling out of the driveway. Amber pushed the door shut and stalled turning around for as long as she could, allowing her fingers to graze against the lock haphazardly before finally twisting it. She knew that someone would likely be sitting at the island waiting for her, and after a long long afternoon of pouring out the depths of her soul to Alex's ex-wife, she was not exactly in the mood.

She spun around and waited for the rough sound of her brother's voice. Instead she was greeted by Jackson, sitting wordlessly at the kitchen table. Apart from his eyes, his face was hidden by the regenerative tissue article perched in front of him. He had clearly stopped reading the moment she walked through the door. Unable to see the rest of his face, his eyes seemed more piercing than usual; that odd combination of overwhelming waves of blue, speckled with large clumps of what almost looked like lime-green. All in all, it merged into the kind of color that could conjure up subliminal images of the Caribbean Sea.

"Hey, Amber." His smooth tone sounded.

"Hey." She responded politely, actively working to avoid those eyes.

"How are you doing?" Jackson asked, tossing his article onto the table. The look of sincere concern plastered across his face immediately gave away his knowledge of the current situation.

"Who told you?" Amber ground out quickly, suddenly feeling less intimidated.

Jackson gave a blank stare in reply.

"Don't give me that look. You never ask how I'm doing. You usually say 'what's shakin bacon', or 'what's good', or anything else equally lame."

"First of all…I take offense to that." Jackson threw a wounded expression. "And second….Derek. Derek told me."

"Who told Derek?"

"How am I supposed to know? The gossip in this house is in perpetual motion. You expect me to figure out the source?"

Amber couldn't help but laugh and Jackson grinned in accomplishment at his ability to lighten her mood. It was a part of their relationship that he was rather proud of. Often times he was one of the only people who could bring her back down to earth once her emotions got the best of her.

"I'm sure the whole hospital knows by now." Amber shrugged. "Not like it matters."

"You don't have to put up a front with me, you know." He coaxed. "You can admit that you're scared."

"Of course I'm scared." Amber scoffed. "But I've spent more of my life feeling scared than I have safe, so this isn't a front. It's just me being me."

"That letter from social services isn't the end-all-be-all." Jackson reminded her. "I understand that you're upset, but we have no reason to think this is going to escalate any further. He might just get permanent custody of you in three months."

"I know that...and I'm not trying to overact." At this point, Amber felt like ripping her hair out. It wasn't so much that she was certain things were going to end badly, but more that she was impatient. She was ready to have a family, a real family. She didn't want to wait any longer and she certainly couldn't stomach the idea that it might never happen. "But I just found out a few hours ago, and the mere possibility that I might have to go somewhere else..." She let her voice trail off. Jackson was a smart man. He could fill in the blanks.

"I know." He spoke calmly. Unfortunately, as much as it pained his 'fix-it' personality, this wasn't something he could repair instantly.

"I'm going to go change." She announced before walking out of the room wordlessly.

Once she was well out of ear-shot, Alex emerged from behind the doorframe of the dining room.

"Creep." Jackson commented.

"Concerned guardian." Alex corrected.

"She seems better than I was expecting, honestly. You Karevs and your tempers...there's just no telling sometimes."

"Yeah, well trust me." Alex muttered. "She's still bottling it up and I can guarantee she's going to take at least another day to come and talk to me."

"She'll come around though." Jackson comforted. "She's a fighter. Even if the worse did happen with all of this, the last thing we have to worry about is her just lying there and taking it."

Alex crossed his arms and remained static for a moment, moving his head up and down slightly in concurrence. "Yeah, I guess that's the truth." He removed one hand from his arm and ran it down the side of his face in annoyance. "Look, would you mind checking up on her in a few minutes and making sure she's in bed?"

"You're not going to try to go talk to her?"

"With Amber and me, it's usually best if we let the person who is most upset come to the other first. Otherwise you just hit a brick wall."

Jackson stared at him quizzically until Alex cut back in. "It's a Karev thing."

He was reluctant only because he didn't know what else he would say if Amber was still awake. However, since Alex's return, there had been no question that Jackson had moved into an official position of 'right-hand-man.' Everyone knew it and it wasn't something that he was particularly anxious to give up.

So he agreed, and as he made his way towards her room, all he could think about was how he just wanted to make her smile again. In his mind, that was a step in the right direction. He hated seeing her sad.

To his bewilderment, the door was cracked open a bit. Perhaps she wasn't as closed off to the world as they anticipated. He gave it a small push so that it swung open the rest of the way.

"Hey." Jackson entered the room timidly, almost as if he were afraid of how she might react to his presence twice in one night.

"I'm not going to bite your head off." Amber joked lightly. She was sitting on her bed clad in sweatpants and t-shit, a pillow propped behind her. A book rested on her lap unopened as she toyed with the frayed edges of the beak on her stuffed penguin.

"Just came to check on you." Jackson walked further into the room, eventually coming to take a seat on the side of her bed.

Amber only nodded, shoving the stuffed animal to the side of her and glancing down at her lap.

"It's getting late." Jackson commented when Amber said nothing.

"Did Alex send you in here to tell me to go to bed because he knew I wouldn't want to talk to him right now?"

"Yes." He answered truthfully.

Amber accepted the answer, having expected nothing less. She peeled back the covers and slid under, returning her attention to Jackson once she was situated.

"Do you remember a few weeks ago when you left your curling iron on all day while you were at school and it burned straight through the pile of laundry you set it on top of?" Jackson inquired suddenly. He hadn't planned bringing it up, but it was the first thing he could think of.

"And left a giant black mark on the top of my dresser..." Amber tacked on. "How could I forget?"

Jackson chuckled, recalling how loudly Amber screamed when she got home that afternoon. He had run in immediately, worrying she was hurt. When he realized the true cause of her panic, he couldn't seem to stop laughing. She, however, was not quite so amused at first.

"Do you remember how it felt like the end of the world when it happened?" He asked.

Amber lifted her eyes to give Jackson a look. She couldn't tell exactly where he was going with this, but she had a pretty good idea. He easily ignored her stare and continued onward.

"You were in a full-blown panic attack, talking about how Alex was going to kill you and that you had just bought that shirt." He recapped, laughing a little as he spoke.

"And the two pairs of jeans." Amber mumbled.

"But for some reason I couldn't stop laughing and eventually you started laughing too." Jackson reminded her. "Then once you had calmed down I helped you clean up the mess and everything was fine."

"What's your point?" Amber butted in, slightly ruder than she originally intended.

"My point is that things always seem worse when they first happen, but usually, if you calm down and take things one step at a time, it's not so bad."

"I don't think that what's happening now falls into the same category as a beauty product mishap."

"My other point is that I'm here for you." Jackson stated before she could insert another word of protest.

Silence filled the room as Amber recollected herself. He had caught her slightly off guard.

"Yeah, I know." She responded shyly.

"And so is Alex."

Amber looked up and chewed the inside of her cheek in thought.

"But I've told you before that if you don't feel like you can talk to him, you can talk to me...and I mean it.

"I know." She repeated.

"You're going to be fine. It's all going to be fine."

Once again, Amber remained quiet, lost in thought.

"You might never touch a curling iron again, but you'll still be fine." He added on in a last attempt of comic relief.

The last line seemed to work and Amber let a giggle escape. Jackson shifted his body so he could pull her into a hug. "But just so you know...you _can_ talk to him." He advised, his chin resting on the top of her head. "Sometimes, you don't give him nearly enough credit."

Pulling away, Amber met his eyes and gave a slight, half smile. It was a tiny acknowledgement of the things he had said; not necessarily an agreement, but a small way of letting him know that she had been listening.

Jackson gave her leg a squeeze before standing up. "Goodnight." He said, making his way to the door.

"Goodnight." Amber replied quietly. "Do you mind shutting off the light?"

Jackson smiled and took one last look to make sure she seemed okay before flicking the light switch and letting the room be swallowed by darkness.

Amber rolled onto her side and stared absentmindedly at Cicero's fishbowl as the events of the day played in her head. Emotionally and physically exhausted, she should have had no issues falling asleep, and yet, sweet slumber didn't seem to find her. Rolling over once more in a final attempt to get comfortable, she wondered how she would possibly survive another day of school before the weekend.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXXX<strong>

By the time Alex got up to get ready for work the following morning, Amber was long gone. A post-it note left on the center island in the kitchen alerted him that she had left early for school to work on a project. He didn't believe it for a second, but she was an avoider. If she didn't want to discuss something, she always found a way to vanish from the grid. Considering he was exactly the same way, he couldn't complain too much. All he could do was wait for her to come to him.

The morning played out in somewhat of a fog. The drive to the hospital seemed to happen reflexively, to the point that he didn't know how he had actually gotten there when he pulled into his parking spot and stepped out of his car into the cold. The ride itself seemed nonexistent.

He sleepily dragged his feet through the main entrance, power-walked across the room, and took part in his daily routine of contemplating whether or not to get on the elevator.

"Well, look who it is." Arizona greeted him happily as she appeared next to him and hit the up arrow.

Alex glanced down and practically had to do a double-take as he noticed the little girl standing by her legs.

"Is that Nora?" He gasped. She looked so unbelievably healthy that it was as if she were another child entirely. Her blonde curls that had almost appeared dusty in the months prior were now a vibrant gold that seemed to glimmer even without assistance from direct light. Her skin had also begun to take on a natural olive tone, which in comparison to the near albino state she was in when she was rescued, was a drastic improvement. She also seemed happy, offering a nervous smile as she recognized Alex's face.

"That it is." Arizona beamed. "You remember Alex, don't you? Can you say hi?"

"Hi." She said quietly, lifting up her small hand to wave.

"Hi Nora." Alex responded as the elevator reached their floor and the doors opened.

"I'm just going to drop her off at day-care and then I'll meet you upstairs. You can go ahead and get started if you want." Arizona informed him before lifting Nora up into her arms and stepping forward.

"Bye Alex." Nora bid him farewell in a tiny voice, waving over Arizona's shoulder as the doors closed.

For a moment, Alex felt bitter. Here he was, struggling to even be allowed a hearing for permanent custody of his own sister whereas Arizona would probably have no issues whatsoever. She could probably adopt Nora without so much as a batted eyelash.

He turned to head towards the stairs but was cut short as he received an emergency 911 page. He allowed himself a brief moment to let out an agonizing groan before he took off sprinting toward the trauma unit.

"What do we have?" He shouted once he caught sight of Owen and April wheeling in a teenage boy. He was unconscious but there were no signs of external damage.

"Sixteen year old boy." Owen called back to him. "His friends say he passed out after having a seizure and never woke back up."

"Does he normally have seizures?" Alex questioned the first teenage boy in his sight. He assumed it had to be a friend of his by the way he was running to keep up with the gurney.

"No, never." The boy answered nervously, still struggling to keep up. Another friend followed closely behind. "He just started twitching uncontrollably and then the next thing we knew, he was on the ground seizing."

"We thought he was joking at first." The other friend piped up.

"Does he have any allergies?" Alex inquired frantically. "Did he do anything differently or eat anything weird today?"

The friend on the right side of the gurney mumbled something.

"Speak up, kid!"

"I said...does a quart of soy sauce count?"

For a moment, Alex almost stopped dead in his tracks. "I'm sorry...what?"

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber sat on a bench in the front atrium of her school, hunched over her anatomy book. She was attempting to study, but her mind barely made sense of the words. Sighing, she slammed it shut and shoved it back into her book bag.

A small part of her wished that she wasn't so stubborn. She wished she could have just woken up that morning, sucked it up, and talked to her brother. It was one of her worst character flaws: the inability to talk about things with him. She didn't always have a problem talking to other people...but when it came to Alex, something always seemed to get in the way.

It was the very reason she often bottled her emotions up until they exploded in a near-hysterical catharsis. Had she just spoken to him when he wanted, she wouldn't have felt the need to hitch a ride with Lexie on the way to her 7:00 shift. Now here she was, bored out of her mind and just as stressed as the day before. It felt like she had been sitting around for ages and there was another half an hour to go before school started.

Yanking her gloves back on and pulling the hood of her jacket up, Amber exited the school. She shivered as the initial blast of cold air bit into her exposed skin. She buttoned her jacket as high up as it would go and tried to lock in as much warmth as possible before beginning her walk down the sidewalk that lined the outskirts of the high school campus.

Her head was so full of information. She wasn't all that sad anymore, but she was definitely overwhelmed. Yesterday, she felt like she spent the majority of the day being talked _at, _not to. Izzie and Jackson had helped, but at the same time, it was draining. What she wanted was a conversation. Not advice, not sympathy, not a pep-talk, but just a conversation.

She was nearly to the bus stop when she saw a familiar face sitting on the bench, a cigarette in hand.

"Fiona?" Amber asked.

"Hey, long time no see."

Amber's eyes flickered to the cigarette briefly before returning back to the petite blonde's face. Fiona was a fairly sheltered girl, the church-going, white-picket-fence type. Clad in a pair straight-legged jeans and argyle sweater with her blouse's collar neatly sticking out, the act of smoking looked almost mediocre on her.

Fiona threw the butt of her cigarette onto the ground and stomped it out. After wiping her hands off on her jeans, she met eyes with Amber. "Going somewhere?"

"I was thinking about it." Amber admitted with a shrug.

Skipping school wasn't something Amber had ever thought about doing, at least not until now. Back at home, she assumed the only way she would ever escape Iowa would be by earning a scholarship. She was a good soccer player, but not outstanding. So an escape meant studying her ass off. And scholarship kids didn't skip school.

Now, however, the idea sounded appealing for the first time.

"I'm thinking about it too." Fiona spoke up, glancing down the street as the bus rounded the corner. "I've been lacking motivation lately."

"Me too."

"I would think so." Fiona breathed. "After everything you've been through."

Amber didn't bother to ask how she knew about the shooting or what had happened with Aaron. Word traveled fast at their school. Instead, the two wordlessly climbed onto the bus once it reached a stop and the doors opened.

"You hungry?" Fiona asked after a few minutes of riding in silence. "I know a place with killer pancakes."

"Yeah, I could eat." Amber agreed, happy to have company for the first time who knew nothing of her current situation.

So the two of them shacked up in a small diner downtown for the majority of the morning. They shamelessly abused the free refills on coffee and talked almost nonstop. And Fiona was correct; the pancakes were phenomenal.

Amber was astounded when she heard about what had happened with the miscarriage, but it certainly explained Fiona's recent changes in behavior. Her parents, she said, had been pleasantly supportive. Apparently Alex had helped a lot, talking to them for quite some time after she had broken the news.

She couldn't help but smile. Her brother wasn't always a terrific person, but there was no question about the kind of doctor he was.

Then it was her turn to spill her secrets. Amber by no means told her everything, but filled her in on the custody issue and a few small snippets of her past. Fiona, having spent a fair amount of time with Alex when she was in the hospital, said she had noticed that Amber's relationship with her brother was geared more towards that of a parent and child, rather than a normal sibling bond. She didn't seem at all startled to learn that Alex was her guardian.

"I wouldn't have wanted to come to school either." She commiserated after hearing the last of the details.

"It's not even that big of a deal." Amber confessed. "It's not so much the custody issue anymore as it is all the memories that come with it. I almost forgot where I came from for a while...and now I have a painful reminder. It kind of makes it hard to focus." She tried to remind herself of the things that Izzie had told her: that she didn't want to forget. Unfortunately, that didn't take away any of the pain of remembering.

"Everybody should skip school at least once."

"I guess today was as good a day as any." Amber conceded.

It got quiet then. The two of them wordlessly fiddled with various objects on the table. Amber twisted the remains of an empty sugar packet between her fingers.

"We should be friends." Fiona blurted out suddenly.

Amber smiled. Sure, she had Meredith and Lexie, but they were adults. It made it hard to have a complete friendship with all the perks, not to mention the constant fear of what they might tell the guys. Then there was Allison, and she was a senior. As sad as it was to think about, she would be leaving for college soon. That would leave her with no one. And despite the amount of talk she put out about not needing anybody in her life, it was of course, a flat-out lie. Amber could attempt to deny it, but deep down, another friend sounded like exactly what she needed.

"We should be friends." Amber agreed with a smile.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it! I will get started on the next one as soon as I can. In the mean time, feel free to message me with ideas or questions. I always respond back.<strong>

**Pretty please with sugar on top leave me some reviews. They are incredibly motivating. Any time that I get an email with a new review, I almost always open up a document and start writing!**

**With loveeee, Maddie**


	30. One, Two, Three, Step

Hi everyone! I know I should have posted an author's note explaining that I would be away, but I actually just returned from studying abroad in New Zealand! The decision happened so quickly and it was such an incredible experience. I wanted to absorb every second of experience I could get, so I literally said yes to basically anything I was offered to participate in. Not kidding. I sort of kind of bungee jumped off of a 43 meter platform. I'm actually insane.

Anyhow, sorry for the semester-long hiatus, but I am back! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I definitely missed writing while I was gone, and despite the heart-crushing New Zealand withdrawal I am going through, I am so excited to get back to my story!

Hope you guys enjoy the chapter! Thanks for waiting so patiently.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"_Amber, I have to go to work. Quit being ridiculous." Alex ordered his sister, shaking his leg in an attempt to get her to release her grip. They way she managed to latch herself onto him was actually quite impressive. He doubted that even a crow-bar would pry her off of him at this point._

"_I don't want to." She wined, wrapping her arms tighter around his right leg._

"_It's just the pool. There's nothing to be afraid of." _

_Amber glanced at the large, indoor body of water splayed out in front of her. It appeared as an ocean in her eyes and she took in a large gulp of air. Being around water was one thing, but why would anyone want to go in it? _

_Alex sighed, realizing that she wasn't going to budge. _

_He decided to make her take swim lessons for several reasons. First of all, Finn Camden, a pal of his from his undergraduate courses, was one of the head coaches at the YMCA. Alex basically let the guy copy his organic chemistry notes every day, so Finn was kind enough to bring Amber into the class for free. It was also practically in walking distance from his afternoon gig as a waiter. He could easily drop her off and pick her up for some free child-care while he earned a few extra bucks. Not to mention, her most recent obsession with catching frogs by the neighborhood pond had him kind of shaken. She was only six. What would happen if she fell in? Knowing her and her lack of gracefulness, the likelihood of that happening was strong._

"_You're going to have so much fun." Finn attempted to help from where he stood in the water. "And look at all of the lifeguards around. Nothing bad is going to happen."_

_Amber merely tightened her grip on Alex once more. "I want to leave." She mumbled. _

"_Well you can't." He replied a little too roughly. A quick glance at her puppy-dog eyes softened his tone. "I have to go to work, bug." _

_Amber planted her feet firmly on the ground, ready to brace herself in case Alex tried to remove her from the safety of his leg again. _

_Alex groaned at her lack of response. Stubbornness was clearly genetic, and he would never listen to anyone who tried to argue otherwise. Knowing that he had to get her over her fear so she would come back every day, he kicked off his shoes forcefully, hating what he was about to have to do. _

"_Alright, give me your hand you little dork." He ordered light-heartedly._

"_What are you doing?" _

"_We're going to jump in together." _

"_But you're going to get wet." She informed him, as if revealing a fact he was unaware of._

"_So are you." He retorted. "Let's jump on three." _

"_Jumping is scary. I don't want to jump." _

"_Then we'll just walk, okay?" He suggested. "Close your eyes and hold my hand. All you have to do is take one step and it's over. Can you do that?" _

_Amber looked at the water and then looked at her own small hand clutched inside of her older brother's. After a few moments of consideration, she nodded. "Okay."_

_Alex smiled, gracious for small victories even if he was going to have to jump in a pool fully clothed and change before going to work. "Alright, then on the count of three we take a step. Sound good?" _

_She nodded in reply again._

"_One...two...three...step."_

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"Hyper-what?"

"Hypernatremia." Alex responded, careful to maintain an even tone as he spoke to the frightened parents in front of him. "It means that your son has extremely dangerous levels of salt in his bloodstream."

"But how could that even happen?" The father questioned. He had been unaware that such a condition was even possible. He glanced nervously at his wife who held a crumbled up tissue in her hand. She had been unable to stop crying since their arrival at the hospital.

"Well, Mr. Morgan," Alex began, narrowing his eyes at the two guilty-looking teenagers who stood at their friend's bedside, "I think you ought to ask them."

"Cody...Thomas...," Mrs. Morgan choked out, "what happened?"

The two remained silent, exchanging a look between one another, as if deciding whether to fess up about what actually occurred.

"Your friend is in a coma." Alex stated abruptly. "Answer their question."

"It was a bet." Thomas blurted out, ignoring the glare he received from his friend. "We were at a party and things just got out of hand. We ran out of booze so one of the guys dared him to chug a bottle of soy sauce that was on the table. We didn't think it would hurt him."

Alex shook his head in disbelief before returning his attention to the parents. He could only hope he would never have to deal with Amber doing something so stupid. If this was what he had to look forward to with a teenager, he didn't know if he would even live to see a custody hearing.

"A quart of soy sauce can contain at least a third of a pound of sodium." He began, trying to explain the situation. "Excess sodium in the bloodstream pulls water out of nearby tissues and the soy sauce in your son's system extracted so much water from his brain that it literally started to shrink and bleed."

The mother suppressed a sob, linking her arm through her husband's to steady herself. "What happens now?"

"He's being prepped right now. We're going to have to flood his system to try and empty out all of the sodium. We're hoping that will wake him up from the coma, but we won't know what kind of damage has been done until we are finished."

"Will he be alright?"

Alex hesitated. This was his least favorite question of all. He hated receiving the look he was currently getting. Being a surgeon, people often looked at you like you were magical, like you could remedy anything. It was the same look that Amber gave him and it always made him feel guilty, even if he hadn't failed yet.

He liked fixing problems. He wouldn't have become a surgeon if he didn't. But that made it so much harder when he realized he couldn't always fix everything.

"I promise that I will do my very best to fix your son."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"My older sister is perfect." Fiona stated, somewhat bitterly. "I was never exactly a problem child, but I always felt like I was competing with her. After the whole miscarriage thing, I figured I might as well settle into my role as the black sheep of the family."

"How much older than you is she?" Amber inquired, allowing her feet to drag through the dirt as she swung back and forth. After leaving the diner, still left with several hours to kill before school let out, they stopped at a local park. They had been sitting on the swings for a while now, more or less exchanging life stories.

"Four years." Fiona replied. "We're far enough apart that she can treat me like a baby, but close enough that I still have to live in her shadow."

"That's rough."

"I guess you never had that with your brother, huh? With him being so much older and all."

"No, not really." Amber laughed a little bit. Their lives had been far too messed up for them to ever take the time to compete. The only thing she ever competed for as a child was survival...and she and her brothers were a team when it came to that. "Then again, it was kind of hard to view him as a brother. It still is."

"Yeah, your relationship is kind of the exception to the rule."

"He tried to treat me like a sister, at least as much as he could. He would tease me and play little pranks and stuff." Amber said. "But the worse off my mom got, the more serious he had to be and the less like a brother he could be."

"How about now?"

Amber shrugged. "Sometimes I forget he used to _just_ be my brother. There was a really short period of time when that's all he was. But that was so long ago; he just seems like my parent now."

Fiona pumped her legs a few times and closed her eyes as she swung up higher. He blond hair trailed behind her in wavy locks each time she moved forward. Amber took notice of how pretty she was. She was the type of girl that never went through an ugly phase. Even in the most awkward years of her life, Amber was certain that Fiona had likely always been at the top of the popularity hierarchy.

This wasn't to say that she was unpopular now, far from it. However, Fiona had gone from roaming the hallways of their school with a large cluster of followers each day to cutting cheerleading practice and missing first period to smoke under the bleachers. High school reputations were incredibly fragile and if things stayed like this for much longer, her status would almost positively diminish.

"You're a pretty tough girl, you know that?" Fiona commented as she descended.

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know..." Fiona stilled her legs so that she would slowly come to a stop. "I went through something bad and look at me now. I've changed so much and I'm not proud of it. You went through a hell of a lot more and you're still together."

Amber sat in silence, flummoxed.

"I wish I could be more like that."

"I'm not as together as you think I am." Amber replied. "I have scars. They're just different than yours."

"Maybe."

"I've also had a lot of practice."

"True..." Fiona let her voice trail off, staring at her shoes briefly. "But still...I need to get my shit together, don't I?"

Amber giggled for a moment before readjusting herself. Honestly, she was a little surprised that she liked Fiona as much as she did. She never pictured herself as befriending the head cheerleader, clique-leading type. And yet, here she was. She hadn't connected with someone this quickly since meeting Caleb for the first time. It was refreshing.

"Are you always this hard on yourself?"

"I think I have an inferiority complex" Fiona informed her, only half-joking. "Reference the earlier story about my older sister."

Amber laughed again. She looked at the gravel under her feet and began to draw lines with the toe of her boot.

"You know, for a while, everybody in my town kind of idolized Alex." Amber told Fiona. "He managed to get out...and not many people did that."

"Why not?"

"I don't know." She shook her head, waiting for the appropriate words to find her. "It was such a small, uneducated place. If the drugs didn't consume you, poverty usually did. People didn't go to college. He did."

Fiona didn't say anything. Instead she grabbed the chains on the sides of her swing and shifted herself to make eye contact, seemingly enthralled with Amber's words.

"So I became obsessed with the idea of getting out too. I started studying really hard and doing everything I possibly could to make sure I wouldn't be stuck there forever."

"I know it sucks how it happened...but you did get out." Fiona informed her.

"I sure as hell didn't want it this way." Amber breathed. "But yeah, you're right. Now I just have to do something good with it."

And they started swinging again.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

"This is miserable." Alex stated, craning his neck to the side in an attempt to relieve some of the stiffness.

"We're almost home free." Derek responded from the other side of the room where he was monitoring vitals. "A few more minutes and we should have an idea of long-term neurological damage."

Alex and Derek had been at it for nearly five hours. So far they had pumped 1.5 gallons of sugar water into this stupid teenager's body to get his sodium levels back to normal. Surprisingly, his vitals were improving. This wasn't to say there wouldn't be any problems with the brain, but things were looking up.

However, the mind-numbing monotony was slowly taking a toll and as the conversation between him and Derek ebbed and flowed, his thoughts continually drifted. He was surely going to lose his sanity soon.

"How is she?" Derek questioned.

"Ignoring me, per usual." Alex responded, knowing whom he was referring to.

"You should let me take her fishing."

"Is that your solution for everything?"

"It worked on Christina, didn't it?" Derek reminded him.

Alex cocked his head to the side in subtle agreement. At this point, he was willing to let anybody try anything.

And the more he thought about it, trying _anything_ seemed like the solution. If he wanted to ensure that Amber stayed with him, he couldn't just wait around. He needed to get off his ass and do something about it. The problem was that the only solutions he could come up with might cause a great deal of pain for both him and his sister. And damn it, he would do just about anything to spare that kid any more pain.

"Would it be crazy if I tried to find our mother?" He blurted out suddenly.

"Your mother?" Derek asked incredulously. "You mean...to get her to relinquish parental rights?"

Alex nodded. "I'm the next in line. If she gave Amber up, social services really wouldn't have a say in it."

"You're afraid if you don't get permanent custody your mom might try to get her back...aren't you?" Derek asserted, everything growing much clearer.

Alex hesitated. It was something that he hated to verify out loud. He had to fight the urge to look over his shoulder and check to make sure Amber wasn't behind him. He couldn't help but feel like admitting it out loud was a betrayal. He was supposed to protect her. Admitting that there was a chance things could go south – no matter how small of chance that may be – felt wrong to him.

"Let's just say I don't want to sit around and wait for it to happen."

"Do you know where she is?" Derek rationalized, wondering if what Alex was saying was even possible.

"Not really." Alex sighed. "She took off after social services removed Amber."

"That's a little problematic, don't you think?"

"Maybe... but I don't really think it would be that difficult to find her. The way I see it, she's either in a hospital, in a treatment center, or somewhere in our hometown. She couldn't have gotten far. She doesn't have the money and she's too sick to do much else."

Silence.

"Is that crazy?" Alex pressed. "Should I do it?"

He didn't answer right away and Alex grew slightly uneasy as he waited for a response. The thing about Derek was that he often had two sides. One was very impulsive, quick to respond in anger and emotion. On the other side, he was extremely calculated, not saying anything until he had carefully considered his reply and organized his thoughts.

After several drawn out moments of skin-crawling silence, voices filled the O.R. again.

"Let me ask you something." Derek said at last.

"Hm?"

"How far would you go to keep Amber safe and happy?"

Alex blinked, slightly startled by such a stupid question. "I'd do anything." He answered without hesitation.

"Well...there's your answer."

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

Amber open and closed her hands repeatedly, pacing the length of her room, her feet connecting with the floor to the beat of the music playing from her laptop. It was after 11:00 and she had far too much energy to even think about sleeping.

Her hands were freezing, something that always happened when she was nervous or emotional in general. She could rarely hide her fear as a kid. Whenever she looked upset or sad and claimed that "nothing" was wrong, all Aaron or Alex had to do was touch one of her hands to call bullshit.

She open and closed them a few more times to try and kick-start her circulation. It was a maneuver that Aaron had dubbed "the crab," apparently because it made her look like she was waving claws at him.

Amber found herself giggling softly, lost momentarily in the warm bliss of a happy memory. They were far and too few these days.

Maybe it was her cold hands distracting her from her real problems, and maybe it was a silly, pointless memory that reminded her how much her brothers cared for her as a child. But for whatever reason, she slammed her laptop shut and walked down the hallway without a second thought towards Alex's room.

She came to a halt in his doorway upon realizing that the door was wide open. She shifted her weight from foot to foot and knocked on the frame. "Hi Alex." Her voice sounded shaky, even to her own ears.

Alex looked up and gave a half smile. "Hey kiddo."

She lifted her hand and gave a wave, noticing how white they were. Momentarily, she regretted showing up without a game plan, unsure of what to say.

Alex was still in his scrubs. The way his body was hunched, she could tell how fatigued he was. She assumed she would be too had she spent the day pumping sugar water through someone's innards, holding tubes in awkward positions and standing still for hours on end.

"Did you just get home?"

"Yeah." He breathed, his eyes passing over the clock. "Long day."

"Was soy sauce boy okay?"

Alex squinted, curious how she knew about his case.

"Jackson." She informed him, knowing what he was thinking.

"Surprisingly, there was no long-term damage." He told her, smiling slightly. "But don't ever try chugging a quart of soy sauce, okay?"

Amber laughed and nodded in agreement before leaning against the door frame, feeling a lot more comfortable than when she first walked in.

"Well, it's about time you started talking to me again." Alex chuckled, tossing his cell phone onto his nightstand gently and pushing himself up into a sitting position.

"I wasn't ready before." She commented softly.

"Are you ready now?"

"Yes."

"Well, do you want to come join me then?" Alex invited, patting the spot on the bed next to him. "Or are you too old for that?"

Amber rolled her eyes playfully. She knew that her brother was referring to the two-year span of her life when she mimicked the habits of a loyal golden retriever, sleeping at the foot of either his or Aaron's bed nearly every night.

Although Alex offered to move an extra mattress onto the floor of the room he shared with Aaron, she still always attempted to go to sleep on her own, desperately trying to prove that she was grown up. However, come the middle of the night, she would always patter down the hallway with the entire comforter of her bed in tow. Wrapping it around herself like a cocoon, she would curl into a ball at the edge of one of their beds.

Alex secretly liked it, although their mother would throw a fit at the time, ranting about how she was becoming too clingy with them. He knew that wasn't the case though. More often than not it was in the middle of the night when their mom would have a schizophrenic episode or when their dad would come barging through the back door looking for a fight. It made sense that she was afraid to sleep alone. Clinginess had nothing to do with it.

"I'm probably too old." Amber joked as she walked over and joined her brother. "But I think I can make an exception for tonight." She took a few moments to get situated, propping a few pillows behind her back to lean against. Once she was satisfied with her position, she turned to face him.

"Am I supposed to say something first?" He laughed, rolling over so he could make eye contact.

"You're older." She teased.

Alex sighed. It wasn't as if he could just dive right into the custody topic off the back. They had to ease into it. "You have a good time with Fiona?" He settled for.

Amber groaned and rolled onto her back, running her hands through her hair in frustration. "Do I even want to know how you found out?"

"Did you honestly think I wouldn't?"

"Kind of…"

"Well that was stupid." He scoffed lightly, still smiling somewhat.

"If you've known all day, I'm having a hard time figuring out why I haven't been yelled at yet."

"Eh, not in the mood." Alex shrugged.

Amber rolled back over to face him. "Not in the mood?" She repeated incredulously.

Alex hid a smile before tilting his head downward to make eye contact with her. It was a skill he had only very recently developed: figuring out when – and more importantly when not – to be a hard-ass. He supposed it was a skill that came with time in parenthood, seeing as he had definitely lacked it the first few months.

Was he happy that she cut school? Not a chance. Was it a good time to read her the riot act about it? Also not a chance.

"Let's just say I get it." Alex commented. "I get why you didn't want to go to school today."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do." He nodded, his eyes meeting hers. "Don't think that makes it okay, though."

"It was a one-time thing."

"It better be." He warned, not being able to resist at least one authoritative comment.

And that was that. Amber agreed, and much to her surprise, her brother let it go.

Silence filled the room as they each waited for the other to begin the conversation first. It was a defining character trait of both of them that made confrontation a bit of a hassle.

"Alex?" Amber questioned meekly, giving up and making the first move.

Alex tilted his head once more to look at his sister. The sight practically broke his heart in two; that pair of bright, emerald eyes peering up at him. They seemed to swallow him whole, looking to him like he had all the answers, like he was some super hero who could fix everything. He spent all day at work getting that same look and it drove him crazy. But with Amber it should be different. He _should_ be able to fix everything. Wasn't that a big brother's job? Wasn't that a parent's job?

"Yeah?" He managed to force out over the lump in his throat.

"You wouldn't let them take me away, would you?"

The fear in her voice seemed to permeate the room. She sounded so fragile, so innocent, that Alex's very weak emotional state almost crumbled with the first syllable. She had spent enough of her life living in fear. All of those nights that she would tremble in a closet as Alex attempted to thwart another suicide attempt by their mom, all the times she woke up in the middle of the night to distant gun shots in their torn up part of town, all of the times she came home to an empty house, all of the times she was terrified in the place where she should have felt the safest.

Bringing her here, he hoped she would never have to experience those feelings again. And here she was, yet again: scared, vulnerable, and uncertain.

"Not on your life."

"I want to stay with you." She admitted out loud for the first time, tears prickling the edges of her eyes. "I really do."

Hearing her openly state that she wanted to stay with him practically reduced Alex to a blubbering mess, but he managed to cling on to the thin layer of external composure he had left.

His feelings on sentimentality were well known among his friends, but this was one of those rare times when he knew that he needed to be a softy. It was a fragment of his personality tucked away for emergencies only.

He reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, something he used to do as a comforting gesture when she was young. He didn't know whether it would still have the same effect, but it certainly didn't hurt either.

"This is your home and I'm not going to let anybody change that, you understand?"

She looked up at him, but didn't reply.

"This is your home and I'm your family, Amber." Alex forced out. "You belong with me. Whether that's here in this house or in freaking Cuba, we're still going to be together. Okay?"

And he meant it...even if he had to do something less than comfortable to achieve it.

"I'm sorry I'm crazy." Amber mumbled.

"What do you mean?"

"You used to suck at this, you know?" She commented, ignoring his question. "The whole...comforting thing."

"Yeah, I guess I've gotten a little warmer, haven't I?"

Amber laughed. "A lot. So what I mean is that I'm sorry I acted crazy. You're being all nice and patient...and totally nothing like yourself."

"Hey!" Alex interjected playfully.

"And I, on the other hand, was exactly like myself yesterday." Amber continued. "I just ran off."

"Technically, you were exactly like me then." Alex rebutted. "Or at least...the usual me."

"True...but I'm going to try to not do that anymore."

A comfortable silence fell and Alex tried to picture what his life would be like with all of this drama behind them, what things would be like if Amber was his and that was that. Were they capable of a normal life? He had to at least try.

"I want you to understand that you can seriously talk to me about anything."

Amber scooted a little closer towards her brother, the proximity making her feel safe. "It's hard for me to talk to anyone about anything." She spoke softly, stopping to yawn. "But I'm getting there."

That was the last thing Alex heard before they both drifted off into a peaceful sleep. He awoke maybe an hour later, the overhead light hurting his eyes. He stood up to turn it off and looked down at his sister.

There she was; curled up on the side of his bed, looking about as peaceful as he had seen her in weeks. He thought about waking her up or taking her back to her room, but in the end, he just grabbed an extra blanket from his closet and threw it over her before crawling back into bed himself.

A sense of familiarity washed over him as he glanced at her before rolling over to set his alarm clock. If he hadn't known before, he definitely knew now: he needed her as much as she needed him.

And while she had always needed him to feel safe, he needed her...to feel needed.

And sometimes, she made him feel safe too.

* * *

><p><strong>XXXXXXX<strong>

The next morning, Amber trailed behind Alex through the parking lot of a hospital. She hadn't felt this well rested in a while and felt the need to walk slowly and enjoy the winter air. Everything felt so crisp and clean; she wanted to savor it.

"Amber, come on." Alex requested, beckoning her from several feet ahead.

Amber shifted her book bag on her shoulder and caught up with him at the entrance. She had long since stopped complaining about having to accompany him to the hospital on Saturdays if she didn't have any other plans. Caleb had a soccer game and her other friends were busy until later in the day as well.

She had come to find that it wasn't so bad, though. If she was lucky, Derek or Mark would let her come observe a surgery or Arizona would let her help out in the play room in pediatrics. Some people might consider it a boring life, but as far as Amber was concerned, it was pretty spectacular.

They walked through the door and she made a bee-line for the elevator out of habit, immediately noticing her brother's face drain of color.

"Stairs, Amber." He reminded her nervously.

Amber looked at him for a moment contemplatively before ignoring his request and pressing the up button to summon the elevator. If he could be there for her, she could be there for him too.

"Suit yourself." He mumbled, turning to walk away.

"No, wait!" She called after him. Reluctantly, he came back.

"Yes?"

The elevator dinged and the doors parted. Just the sight of the inside made Alex's hands grow cold. He grabbed his side instinctively, almost feeling his gunshot wound all over again.

"We're going to do this." Amber stated confidently. "Together."

"No, we're not."

"Yes, we are." She argued, grabbing hold of the sleeve of his scrubs to ensure that he wouldn't try to leave.

Once he had steadied, Amber slid her hand into his. He hesitated for a moment before allowing his hand to cup into hers.

"It's just one step." She whispered, audible to only him. He could not help the small smirk that appeared across his face.

"That's a cheap shot." He whispered. Vivid images of Amber splashing around at the YMCA flashed through his mind.

"Close your eyes and we'll go on three, okay?" She ordered. "It's just one step and then it's over, right?"

He wanted nothing more than to say no, but Amber had taken a low blow by calling upon one of his own parenting techniques from her childhood. How could he refuse?

"Alright." He swallowed.

Amber pressed the button once more and the elevator reopened. She squeezed his hand tightly as the doors parted again.

"On three?" She asked one last time for good measure.

"On three." He confirmed.

"_One...two...three...step."_

* * *

><p>Hope you enjoyed it, internet friends! I really am sorry that it took so long. You all are such loyal readers and you honestly deserve more consistency than what I'm able to give you. I wish there were more hours in a day sometimes!<p>

Until next time! Please review and let me know what you thought! -Maddie


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